Weird thoughts...

My mom is up north visiting my grandma right now, so it is just my dad, sister and I at home. I mentioned Friday afternoon I might be going out that night. My dad said sure, go ahead because my dad says since I'm over 18 I can do whatever I want.

My dad however, gave me the look of suspicion and I'm almost sure he know something else is going on. I can handle that, I am getting to the point where I have no problem lying about going out as bad as that sounds, BUT the look my dad gave me and the skepticism he showed bothered me. Oh well. I think he knows and I'm ok, because I know he won't say anything to my mom.

But then my wandering mind got the best of me and I got this feeling that my dad knows I'm out having sex. Haha. Only I would think of something like that. I was just thinking though, does my dad know that I'm having sex with a guy, does he know what I have done, does he know how far I've gone, what does he know? I would never ask my dad what he knows. I kind of expect him to say something if I were to ever come out; or he would do tell me randomly like when he told me he found porn on my computer a few years back.

But I was just thinking how awkward that is to think that my dad knows that I'm having sex. EEEEW. Guess that comes with living at home. But I mean if he did know, it is not like I'd tell him hey, I'm going to have sex. I mean I guess it is to be expected sneaking around, living at home, to feel that paranoia over your shoulder, but that just weirds me out... I mean I guess I consider sex an adult thing and I feel young living at home and with my parents. This on top of that fact that I feel weird knowing that I am having sex. I wonder if I were say 2, 3, 5, or even 10 years older and not married (like I'm planning... I have told my dad at least, I don't plan on marrying until I'm 30) would I still get that feeling and wonder if my parents were wondering if I were having sex and if it would still bother me. I think so and I think my parents would know I was having sex by then. I mean can a person really wait 25, 30 years? Not that it matters whether or not my parents know, but the thought is strange. I know these questions are insignificant and should have nothing to do with my relationship with my parents, but this is something that goes through Mike's mind.