On Thursday The Guy asked me if I wanted to help him with his Halloween party. I said sure. Drove over to his place about 2p.m. When I got there he was in the office, on the phone, and he had his pants pulled down. He was doing testosterone injections because he is going to have testosterone replacement done or something like that- some expensive procedure. Anyways, that was an interesting site. He was just finishing up and I watched him inject something into his stomach. When he is finished he asks if I am ready to go out shopping with him. I said yes. He remembers UPS will be coming with a computer, so he has to wait since he missed delivery the day before. We wait for that and go in the bedroom to sleep. We sleep for about an hour and I actually fell asleep. UPS comes, delivers the computer, then we go back to sleep until 4:30.
We decide to go to Trader Joes, Michaels, and were going to go a costume shop in that same shopping center, but the line snaked to the back of the store. The parking lot was a mess and everyone was honking at each other. This is one of the few times The Guy parks a mile away from something. We go into Michaels and look at a couple artificial $80 flower arrangements on sale for $35 or so. The Guy decides he needs 2, then we later decide he only needs one, so we leave the other arrangement. We buy some window clings, lots of candles, and more. We get out of Michaels for $200. The Guy is grumbling and complaining about the junk they sell there, how all of it is made in CHina, and the long lines, which make the place so depressing. Trader Joes is a lot more fun. The Guy buys fruit like pineapple, apples and watermelon. Then he buys some nan bread, hummus, brie and other cheeses, choclate chips for brownies, and 8 bottles of a mystery wine that have a question mark on them. That was another $200. We are in a bind for time as THe Guy has to be at the gym at 6:30. We get back to his house at 6:00p.m., clean out the fridge, and put the stuff away. We take off- me going home and he goes to the gym.
HALLOWEEN!!!
The Guy told me to come over about 5p.m. to help him. I said sure. At 5p.m. I just sat down to dinner. The Guy bought great healthy "snacks," but did not constitute a meal like he claimed. I was on the road at 5:15 however and got to his place at 6:15, which was perfect. He had put up all of his decorations and just had a few more. He asked if I could run to get Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Cranberry Juice, and orange juice. I run to CVS for that. I also go to the liquor store for Belvedere Vodka. $36 of Vodka.
I get back to his place and Jackie, Josh's girlfriend is there. She is a hoot. She is a bubbly blond type and is sort of an airhead. I see why Josh likes her. We make smalltalk- how to decorate, where we live, how we know The Guy. Joe arrives a little later. Joe is Quail Dog from Doug. Honestly, I had thought of going as Doug Funnie, but didn't since I was unsure if The GUy or anyone would get the reference. His costume though, was very cute. Joe and The Guy argue over prop 8 and explain it to Jackie. Jackie had no clue. She is such an airhead. I liked her. The Guy prepares his pinwheels that he wanted to make for the party. Jackie brought chocolate cupcakes.
Josh arrives with ice and is in a soccer outfit. He is David Beckham. Josh takes off his shirt and has Jackie help him with his tattoos. Josh has a bunch of tattoos as it is- one on his right shoulder of muscle fibers, an iron cross on his left breast, and doves on his back. Jackie uses a Sharpie to write a tattoo that says Romeo on his back, Beckham on his abs, and GALAXY on his left arm. He goes shirtless the whole night. Jackie's costume, which she later changes into? Victoria Beckham.
We start our movies after everyone is in costume. The Guy wears his traditional black t-shirt, blue jeans, a cape, a big iron cross necklace and spider rings. He is "Big Daddy." We start with some movie I can't recall. Then we move onto "Underworld." Underworld came about 9p.m. That's when The Guy's brother came and his girlfriend Courtney. She is a new girlfriend. She blends right into the mix of people. Zach, The Guy's best friend comes in shortly after. He says when he walks in "I don't want to be here." He was not happy with The Guy because he didn't help Zach move last weekend. The Guy stayed home to play WOW. I would have been unhappy also and probably not as forgiving. Zach has some Diet Pepsi and sits down next to The Guy. A few minutes later George, Joe's boyfriend shows up. In walks a 50 or so year old man who looks like he could be my dad. Joe is 23 and claims there is only a 15 year difference between him and George. I think not. He had gray hair and a British accent; and my dad who is 60 looks younger. He sat next to Joe and Zach came over and sat on the ledge next to me. Josh was pouring the drinks all evening. He filled my wine glass 2-3 times, then the last time he fills it completely to the brim. The GUy's brother joked he'd never seen a wine glass so full. Josh then insisted I sip or chug. I get about halfway down and joke to Josh that I did finish half of it, which is WAAAAAY more than he drank. Josh was getting really close to me. His girlfriend was on the other side. He was rubbing my leg, I was rubbing his, and The Guy noticed. Josh joked it was the alcohol. The Guy's brother only stayed an hour or so, then took off. Joe and George took off after the movie also. Zach then sits next to me as we watch "The Underworld." I know I hit him playfully a couple times and brushed up against him as we watched the movie when there was a scary part or something. It was a lot of fun. Josh and Jackie were both surprised with how well I hold my alcohol. I was pretty drunk they thought- I probably had a bottle of wine all by myself thaks to Josh.
Josh and Jackie left after "The Underworld." The Guy said "you can talk" in reference to Zach and I about Josh. Both of us have the concern The Guy is pursuing a straight guy, that he'll be heartbroken, etc. The Guy texted Josh after he left and Josh texted him. Josh said he had such a great night with THe Guy :-) :-). The Guy wanted to invite Josh back, but just instead said wish he could have stayed longer. I was quickly fading and actually fell asleep with a glass of Diet Pepsi in my hand while Zach and The Guy were sitting and talking. The Guy said I was staying there, dragged me over, and let me down on the couch. I fell asleep for a few miinutes, then woke up and was having an anxiety attack. I went in to tell The Guy I was leaving. I didn't want to deal with it and have The Guy there. As I walked in his bedroom he screamed and his dog growled. We both were scared and calmed down, then talked for a few minutes. Finally he insisted I stay. I was resentful to. He asked if it was about Josh and him wanting to do it with him. I reassured no- I was more upset about Ben. Josh is a great guy who treats The Guy well. It was family stuff that brought on the anxiety- who knows why. I go back to sleep- or try to. I don't sleep well. The Guy woke me up about 8:30 and thanked me for being with him last night on a really hard night. He showers and gets ready for work. He tells me he was supposed to meet Ben for dinner and I said NO. NO. CANCEL. Josh. You like Josh better and he treats you better.
As we leave we both head down the 10 freeway toward Fontana. We follow each other to the 15 freeway, then The Guy turns around and waves at me. I text him saying "follow the leader was fun. Thanks for everything. Have a good day." He laughs and texts me back, and we go our separate ways.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Photos of my ectomorph body type
I hadn't really talked to The Guy since Monday after I got his thank you for the card text. Tuesday we talked in the morning after he swore I called him. I didn't, but it was nice to talk to him. Wednesday afternoon I did call him, but he was at the gym. He did call me, but we tried calling each other back. He was on his way to the doctor when I called him at 4:15. He had an ear infection for the 3rd time and the doctor said his ear looked like shredded meat. It was one of the worst ear infections the doctor had ever seen. The Guy was actually given a month of antibiotics to treat. He was texting me while he was at the doctor's office and asked what I was doing and if I wanted to grab dinner. A few texts later he is asking me if I want salmon and potatoes from that one place. I told him it was up to him. I wasn't really tasting salmon, but he obviously was, so if he wanted it he was going to get it. He was out and his doctor's office is up by that place, which is why I think he suggested that.
I take off about 4:40 as he is leaving the office and we have a nice talk. He is asking me about how my day went. I told him about my Spanish class and the midterm we just took. It is on literary terms like "synecdoche, anaphora, alliteration, onomatopoeia, personification, sinestesia (can't think of the English equivalent, and apostrophe." There were a bunch more, but you get the picture. AP English 11th grade terms. That's where I knew the terms from, and had I not, would have struggled like so many seemed to be in the class. He asked the format, how it was set up, then asked me the definition of each. He said it sounds like I felt confident. I gave him the sentences I remember from Spanish and what I said they were and he verified my answer. Then he told me how he can see that I'm really happy with my Spanish lit teacher I have.
I got to his place at 5:25 after many texts about what we were doing and waiting in traffic. He is standing at the door, greets me, and then starts pouring food for me. He asks if I eat salad because he had ordered salad. You probably remember a few weeks back how we had the argument over what vegetables were, how I don't eat those, and how I don't eat salad. Well, it is not the case. The Guy even got on me the other night in front of Josh for not eating salad. I had to prove him wrong then, because the night before I had a chicken topped salad from Applebees. Anyways, we pile the salmon, potatoes, and salad on our plates, then go in the living room. The salad is wonderful.
During dinner he tells me about Josh. I had been wanting to hear since Monday. After I left Sunday night they watched the "Hulk" and a really scary movie that The Guy didn't want to and joked that he'd end up in Josh's lap. They talked during the movie. Josh kept moving closer to The Guy. Josh was talking about how he truly feels confused. He said he is unhappy with Jackie, his girlfriend, for not being supportive of him in all of his endeavors. He said he doesn't know if it is just him being around The Guy and getting a lot more attention than around Jackie that makes him like The Guy. The Guy repositioned himself and Josh ended up laying on his chest. Josh talked so openly about how the night before he had a dream about kissing a guy. The Guy saw this was the perfect opportunity to swoop in and give Josh a kiss on the lips. He gave 3 short pecks. They continued watching the movie, then when Josh left texted The Guy saying he had an incredible time. Tuesday night they went out to dinner somewhere and THe Guy talked about how both of us in a circular booth would sit right across from each other. Not Josh- he'd move into The Guy's lap practically, and did the night before. They had shrimp and were practically feeding each other in the restaurant and the waitress was totally flirting with them thinking they were a couple. When they got back to The Guy's place Josh admitted he thinks he is finally accepting that he is bi. The Guy just said saying that you're bi usually is the first step to coming out. Josh talked about not being horny enough, wanting testosterone injections, and The Guy just said that part of it may be him feeling sexually confused- not that he needs testosterone. They've been texting each other wake-up greetings saying good morning etc. The Guy talked about how he wouldn't shut up because he was on cloud 9. He asked if that was weird having him talk about all of this. I assured him it wasn't because he is happy, which is a good thing, and I really like Josh.
The GUy talks about how he has to go to Fed Ex to pick up a package that he missed being delivered. We kill about an hour in between by reading MacRumors and looking at Windows 7. We look and try to figure out the new features Windows 7 will have. The Guy checks his mail and sees his "NO ON 8" signs have arrived. He puts one on his porch, one in his window, and then the bumpersticker on the bumper of his car. He reasons that his car is not a big deal. I am opposed to that idea though, because of the paint damage. I put mine in the back window... hmm... wonder what mom will say when she sees that. The Guy tells me that he hasn't received any RSVPs for his Halloween Party. I said I did. He goes online and finds it was Louis, Josh and Jackie, as well as myself. It is now a costume party because Jackie says you have to dress up on Halloween. The Guy felt pressure because Jackie wanted to go to WEHO and The Guy's house wouldn't hail in comparison to that. Again, Josh's gay side came out and he said "I don't care about Jackie, I want to be with you."
On the way to Fed Ex The Guy says Ben is texting him this time, and last night he did so drunk. I told The Guy to forget about Ben. Everyone says to- including Josh he informed me. Ben treats The Guy badly. I again said he is happy around Josh. I told him about my dad and I, as well as the whole money issue the other night. He said he felt so bad about not coming to give me his gas card after the incident, especially after finding the card I gave him Monday morning. I told him basically my ATM is still drained and will be until I'm paid in mid-November, but my mom just said to charge everything to my credit card and she'll pay the bill for me because it was all because of errands I ran for the family my account is drained. The Guy said that's cool.
We wait maybe 20 minutes at Fed Ex, then drive over to UPS to see if they're open because The Guy missed 2 packages from them. They closed at 7. We stopped and got gas at an Arco and I showed off my expertise getting around Ontario because I knew where the gas stations were and how to use surface streets. Back in the car again we talk about The Guy helping Jeff out with gas on Sunday for getting pizza, Josh on Tuesday night, then himself on Wednesday night. He only put $25 in his tank to not make it look like he is driving alot and have his parents cut him off the gas card for driving too much for "personal" stuff. He said that wouldn't have stopped him from helping me the other day. He said I'm the most financially responsible person he has ever known and he totally understands that I just paid off my car so that drained my savings; helping my dad out has required me to drain my checking account, then having to charge everything makes it hard. I told him how bad I felt by doing that and he just again said "not a big deal, he'd have no problem doing that for me." He told me how at my age he was writing checks constantly and often had $8 or $9 in his checking account. His parents asked him how he had so little and so many overdrafts. He also had $20,000 in credit card debt and his parents were screaming at him asking him how he could have so much debt and be so irresponsible. I told him that's not a problem and how I actually just got a HUGE, unwanted credit line. The amount floored him. I have a larger credit line than he does on 1 credit card than he does on nearly a dozen and he has tried to get a bump in his credit limit.
The Guy tells me about the gym, then he asks how things are going for me. I said I haven't really been going. He asked when I last went and admitted the day before. I said I went the day before, but that I haven't been going as much as before. He said he was just curious and was wondering what my goals were- whether it be to gain muscle or maintain what I currently have. He said he thinks I'd look REALLY good if I added about 15 pounds of muscle and told me what to do. Then he said that he thinks it'd look really good on me, I'd be really happy. I told him I didn't know and explained my apprehensions. I have a pretty petite looking frame and I don't want to look REALLY bulky. The guys I see at the gym who are really big do not appeal to me. I even used Josh as an example- I don't want to look like that. Josh doesn't have the body type I do- I'm more petite, so I used him to point that out. The Guy had a hard time understanding what I wanted to say, but then I lifted up my shirt, and just said "look, most guys are a lot wider who have the muscle. I'm 6'2'', 150lbs, and have a 29'' waist, so a lot of extra muscle, and being bulked up like that wouldn't look too good." The Guy says "oooooooh you're an ectomorph." We go back into the computer room and he looks up what an ectomorph is. He says he is a mesomorph, and that I'm an ectomorph. Being an ectomorph is my biggest curse, yet blessing.
The ECTOMORPH
Definitive "Hard Gainer"
Delicate Built Body
Flat Chest
Fragile
Lean
Lightly Muscled
Small Shouldered
Takes Longer to Gain Muscle
Thin
The Guy understood what I was saying. Brad Pitt is a good example of an ectomorph. He said he thinks it'd be very difficult for me because I eat nowhere near 3,000 calories per day, that I eat reasonably, yet healthily. A couple times The Guy asked if he was overstepping boundaries by asking. I assured him that he wasn't because I was curious, and truthfully, I had been debating what I want to do- adding 15 pounds or so of muscle would give me more defined calves, more defined pecs, and things like that. The Guy said he felt bad bringing it up, and I assured him it was not a big deal.
After, we watched the Obama 30 minute informercial, or I mean commercial. Whatever it was, The Guy proclaimed it was better than anything ever sold on Guthy Renker.
The Guy wants to get yogurt, so we go to CVS. He wants milk, I talk about still not sleeping, so The Guy says I need some DHEA or something. Some pill that he has tried that helps you get back to a normal sleep pattern. He insists on buying it for me because I had to listen to him be harsh toward me about weight. I said it wasn't a big deal. At the checkout, the cashier joked about being able to hack into The Guy's iPhone and his hate. The Guy was a little worried and wants to see him do that. HAHA. We go to get our yogurt and The Guy buys an extra one for Josh in case he comes over. We get the yogurt, then go back to his place. We have an interesting conversation, but it was a good one- what The Guy sees in Josh. Everything is just so natural. The conversation, the caring, the creative side both of them have. Josh doesn't have natural smarts, is not book smart, has failed his personal trainers test 3 times because he has a hard time talking to large groups of people, and doesn't do written tests well, but he is giving 125% to do it. The Guy said in me he sees natural smarts, book smarts, and street smarts. I have all 3 and we have great conversations about anything and everything and I can almost always contribute to what he has to say. Josh though, is different, yet his determination and things appeal to him and how hard it is for him to respond to Josh when he says he knows he is not naturally smart or book smart. It is about 9:30 and we call it a night.
My question guys is this- look at my body and give me your opinions. Should I gain 15 pounds or so more of muscle, or just work on my body and keep it the way it is? Take a look at the pics...
Better calves (I do have calves- just not that visible)? Filling out a shirt like this better? Larger shoulders? I dunno... what do you guys think? Anyone have any ideas?
Here's a guy from some forum I found online when looking- his before and after photos. Tried to upload the PHOTOS, BUT IT WOULDN'T WORK- LOOK HERE AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK... I look a lot like the guy in the below photo when I wear shirts- I don't fill them out well I don't think... but I'm apprehensive. I dunno... opinions guys... I don't care if you post anonymously or with your name. I'm not going to hold it against you. I just want some ideas...
If the images of this guy, a fellow ectomorph don't work, then try THIS link below... this is about the best example I've seen... http://img186.imageshack.us/img186/4523/comparisonpicms5.jpg
I take off about 4:40 as he is leaving the office and we have a nice talk. He is asking me about how my day went. I told him about my Spanish class and the midterm we just took. It is on literary terms like "synecdoche, anaphora, alliteration, onomatopoeia, personification, sinestesia (can't think of the English equivalent, and apostrophe." There were a bunch more, but you get the picture. AP English 11th grade terms. That's where I knew the terms from, and had I not, would have struggled like so many seemed to be in the class. He asked the format, how it was set up, then asked me the definition of each. He said it sounds like I felt confident. I gave him the sentences I remember from Spanish and what I said they were and he verified my answer. Then he told me how he can see that I'm really happy with my Spanish lit teacher I have.
I got to his place at 5:25 after many texts about what we were doing and waiting in traffic. He is standing at the door, greets me, and then starts pouring food for me. He asks if I eat salad because he had ordered salad. You probably remember a few weeks back how we had the argument over what vegetables were, how I don't eat those, and how I don't eat salad. Well, it is not the case. The Guy even got on me the other night in front of Josh for not eating salad. I had to prove him wrong then, because the night before I had a chicken topped salad from Applebees. Anyways, we pile the salmon, potatoes, and salad on our plates, then go in the living room. The salad is wonderful.
During dinner he tells me about Josh. I had been wanting to hear since Monday. After I left Sunday night they watched the "Hulk" and a really scary movie that The Guy didn't want to and joked that he'd end up in Josh's lap. They talked during the movie. Josh kept moving closer to The Guy. Josh was talking about how he truly feels confused. He said he is unhappy with Jackie, his girlfriend, for not being supportive of him in all of his endeavors. He said he doesn't know if it is just him being around The Guy and getting a lot more attention than around Jackie that makes him like The Guy. The Guy repositioned himself and Josh ended up laying on his chest. Josh talked so openly about how the night before he had a dream about kissing a guy. The Guy saw this was the perfect opportunity to swoop in and give Josh a kiss on the lips. He gave 3 short pecks. They continued watching the movie, then when Josh left texted The Guy saying he had an incredible time. Tuesday night they went out to dinner somewhere and THe Guy talked about how both of us in a circular booth would sit right across from each other. Not Josh- he'd move into The Guy's lap practically, and did the night before. They had shrimp and were practically feeding each other in the restaurant and the waitress was totally flirting with them thinking they were a couple. When they got back to The Guy's place Josh admitted he thinks he is finally accepting that he is bi. The Guy just said saying that you're bi usually is the first step to coming out. Josh talked about not being horny enough, wanting testosterone injections, and The Guy just said that part of it may be him feeling sexually confused- not that he needs testosterone. They've been texting each other wake-up greetings saying good morning etc. The Guy talked about how he wouldn't shut up because he was on cloud 9. He asked if that was weird having him talk about all of this. I assured him it wasn't because he is happy, which is a good thing, and I really like Josh.
The GUy talks about how he has to go to Fed Ex to pick up a package that he missed being delivered. We kill about an hour in between by reading MacRumors and looking at Windows 7. We look and try to figure out the new features Windows 7 will have. The Guy checks his mail and sees his "NO ON 8" signs have arrived. He puts one on his porch, one in his window, and then the bumpersticker on the bumper of his car. He reasons that his car is not a big deal. I am opposed to that idea though, because of the paint damage. I put mine in the back window... hmm... wonder what mom will say when she sees that. The Guy tells me that he hasn't received any RSVPs for his Halloween Party. I said I did. He goes online and finds it was Louis, Josh and Jackie, as well as myself. It is now a costume party because Jackie says you have to dress up on Halloween. The Guy felt pressure because Jackie wanted to go to WEHO and The Guy's house wouldn't hail in comparison to that. Again, Josh's gay side came out and he said "I don't care about Jackie, I want to be with you."
On the way to Fed Ex The Guy says Ben is texting him this time, and last night he did so drunk. I told The Guy to forget about Ben. Everyone says to- including Josh he informed me. Ben treats The Guy badly. I again said he is happy around Josh. I told him about my dad and I, as well as the whole money issue the other night. He said he felt so bad about not coming to give me his gas card after the incident, especially after finding the card I gave him Monday morning. I told him basically my ATM is still drained and will be until I'm paid in mid-November, but my mom just said to charge everything to my credit card and she'll pay the bill for me because it was all because of errands I ran for the family my account is drained. The Guy said that's cool.
We wait maybe 20 minutes at Fed Ex, then drive over to UPS to see if they're open because The Guy missed 2 packages from them. They closed at 7. We stopped and got gas at an Arco and I showed off my expertise getting around Ontario because I knew where the gas stations were and how to use surface streets. Back in the car again we talk about The Guy helping Jeff out with gas on Sunday for getting pizza, Josh on Tuesday night, then himself on Wednesday night. He only put $25 in his tank to not make it look like he is driving alot and have his parents cut him off the gas card for driving too much for "personal" stuff. He said that wouldn't have stopped him from helping me the other day. He said I'm the most financially responsible person he has ever known and he totally understands that I just paid off my car so that drained my savings; helping my dad out has required me to drain my checking account, then having to charge everything makes it hard. I told him how bad I felt by doing that and he just again said "not a big deal, he'd have no problem doing that for me." He told me how at my age he was writing checks constantly and often had $8 or $9 in his checking account. His parents asked him how he had so little and so many overdrafts. He also had $20,000 in credit card debt and his parents were screaming at him asking him how he could have so much debt and be so irresponsible. I told him that's not a problem and how I actually just got a HUGE, unwanted credit line. The amount floored him. I have a larger credit line than he does on 1 credit card than he does on nearly a dozen and he has tried to get a bump in his credit limit.
The Guy tells me about the gym, then he asks how things are going for me. I said I haven't really been going. He asked when I last went and admitted the day before. I said I went the day before, but that I haven't been going as much as before. He said he was just curious and was wondering what my goals were- whether it be to gain muscle or maintain what I currently have. He said he thinks I'd look REALLY good if I added about 15 pounds of muscle and told me what to do. Then he said that he thinks it'd look really good on me, I'd be really happy. I told him I didn't know and explained my apprehensions. I have a pretty petite looking frame and I don't want to look REALLY bulky. The guys I see at the gym who are really big do not appeal to me. I even used Josh as an example- I don't want to look like that. Josh doesn't have the body type I do- I'm more petite, so I used him to point that out. The Guy had a hard time understanding what I wanted to say, but then I lifted up my shirt, and just said "look, most guys are a lot wider who have the muscle. I'm 6'2'', 150lbs, and have a 29'' waist, so a lot of extra muscle, and being bulked up like that wouldn't look too good." The Guy says "oooooooh you're an ectomorph." We go back into the computer room and he looks up what an ectomorph is. He says he is a mesomorph, and that I'm an ectomorph. Being an ectomorph is my biggest curse, yet blessing.
The ECTOMORPH
Definitive "Hard Gainer"
Delicate Built Body
Flat Chest
Fragile
Lean
Lightly Muscled
Small Shouldered
Takes Longer to Gain Muscle
Thin
The Guy understood what I was saying. Brad Pitt is a good example of an ectomorph. He said he thinks it'd be very difficult for me because I eat nowhere near 3,000 calories per day, that I eat reasonably, yet healthily. A couple times The Guy asked if he was overstepping boundaries by asking. I assured him that he wasn't because I was curious, and truthfully, I had been debating what I want to do- adding 15 pounds or so of muscle would give me more defined calves, more defined pecs, and things like that. The Guy said he felt bad bringing it up, and I assured him it was not a big deal.
After, we watched the Obama 30 minute informercial, or I mean commercial. Whatever it was, The Guy proclaimed it was better than anything ever sold on Guthy Renker.
The Guy wants to get yogurt, so we go to CVS. He wants milk, I talk about still not sleeping, so The Guy says I need some DHEA or something. Some pill that he has tried that helps you get back to a normal sleep pattern. He insists on buying it for me because I had to listen to him be harsh toward me about weight. I said it wasn't a big deal. At the checkout, the cashier joked about being able to hack into The Guy's iPhone and his hate. The Guy was a little worried and wants to see him do that. HAHA. We go to get our yogurt and The Guy buys an extra one for Josh in case he comes over. We get the yogurt, then go back to his place. We have an interesting conversation, but it was a good one- what The Guy sees in Josh. Everything is just so natural. The conversation, the caring, the creative side both of them have. Josh doesn't have natural smarts, is not book smart, has failed his personal trainers test 3 times because he has a hard time talking to large groups of people, and doesn't do written tests well, but he is giving 125% to do it. The Guy said in me he sees natural smarts, book smarts, and street smarts. I have all 3 and we have great conversations about anything and everything and I can almost always contribute to what he has to say. Josh though, is different, yet his determination and things appeal to him and how hard it is for him to respond to Josh when he says he knows he is not naturally smart or book smart. It is about 9:30 and we call it a night.
My question guys is this- look at my body and give me your opinions. Should I gain 15 pounds or so more of muscle, or just work on my body and keep it the way it is? Take a look at the pics...
Better calves (I do have calves- just not that visible)? Filling out a shirt like this better? Larger shoulders? I dunno... what do you guys think? Anyone have any ideas?
Here's a guy from some forum I found online when looking- his before and after photos. Tried to upload the PHOTOS, BUT IT WOULDN'T WORK- LOOK HERE AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK... I look a lot like the guy in the below photo when I wear shirts- I don't fill them out well I don't think... but I'm apprehensive. I dunno... opinions guys... I don't care if you post anonymously or with your name. I'm not going to hold it against you. I just want some ideas...
If the images of this guy, a fellow ectomorph don't work, then try THIS link below... this is about the best example I've seen... http://img186.imageshack.us/img186/4523/comparisonpicms5.jpg
Monday, October 27, 2008
My plea: please be informed when you go to the polls
Don't be like my sister. My mom, dad, and I sat down and looked at the ballot tonight to decide how to vote next week. My parents are at different ends of the political spectrum, but this is the only time politics are discussed. Sometime before the election my parents always gather and discuss the ballot initiatives or small races like school board, state senate, but never president as that would cause a lot of hurt feelings.
This year, there are a ton of propositions on the California ballot, and my sister is able to partake in the process. There are at least 10 ranging from some animal rights propositions, to high speed rails, to gay marriage, and a lot of energy propositions.
Here's how it went:
Prop 1A- high speed rails
Mom: yes- I saw in the paper I could get to work in 12 minutes.
Dad: yes- it is vitally needed
Sister: "yes- I like to go fast"
Me: yes
Prop 2- animal rights dealing with caged animals etc.
Mom gives some random diatribe about her views on it
Dad does the same
Sister: "animals need to stretch their legs."
Me: Huh? Isn't there more to the issue?
Sister: "would you want to live in a cage your whole life? Do you want to live where you poop?"
Me: (tries to egg her on) "Well, I live at home, and I poop at home."
Prop 7- an energy initiative
Sis: I like energy and I'm glad we have it
Me: I think it is about more than that.
Sis: Well, we need to have energy, so I'm for it.
Me: Why don't we try reading the proposition?
Mom: Yes, there's quite a bit more to it. This one is more about tax breaks for energy.
Sis: Tax breaks are good and we need energy. That's good.
Mom: There's a lot of fine print in this- you might want to take a closer look. You should really read the book and go to the polls informed. This is serious. Maybe you shouldn't be voting if you're not going to take this seriously.
Sis: Well, I like Obama.
Before we move onto prop 8 my mom makes an observation: "I can't remember a time when I've said no to so many issues."
Prop 8- the gay marriage one
My dad asks if we want to skip over this one and my mom agrees.
Sister pipes in...
Sister: "Barbie and Ken set the model here. Barbie and Ken show marriage as it truly is."
Me: "Barbie and Ken broke up and I wouldn't necessarily use plastic toys as the model to demonstrate how marriage should be. In your play world they can be anything and do anything."
Sister: (pouts) "I DON'T PLAY WITH BARBIES!!! YOU DO!!!"
Me: "I play in this world called real life and this an issue that is going to affect a lot of people"
Sister: "Someone's pushy."
Me: (joklingly say) "People may end up like helpless little Barbies afterward."
Sister: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH YOU'RE FOR GAY MARRIAGE!!!"
Mom: (stares of disapproval)
Me: (tenses up and feels worried) It seems more about the general population- this would be good for all people in general in so many ways- the economy, equal rights, etc.
Sister: (becomes defensive) well, it is against the Bible, what marriage truly is, and it destroys traditionalists.
Dad: (uses his teacherly voice) ladies, gentlemen, let's move on.
Also, if you haven't already please see this post on prop 8
Please, read the big book on the initiatives and what they mean. Please, don't be like my sister. People like her bug. I'm tired of stupid people.
This year, there are a ton of propositions on the California ballot, and my sister is able to partake in the process. There are at least 10 ranging from some animal rights propositions, to high speed rails, to gay marriage, and a lot of energy propositions.
Here's how it went:
Prop 1A- high speed rails
Mom: yes- I saw in the paper I could get to work in 12 minutes.
Dad: yes- it is vitally needed
Sister: "yes- I like to go fast"
Me: yes
Prop 2- animal rights dealing with caged animals etc.
Mom gives some random diatribe about her views on it
Dad does the same
Sister: "animals need to stretch their legs."
Me: Huh? Isn't there more to the issue?
Sister: "would you want to live in a cage your whole life? Do you want to live where you poop?"
Me: (tries to egg her on) "Well, I live at home, and I poop at home."
Prop 7- an energy initiative
Sis: I like energy and I'm glad we have it
Me: I think it is about more than that.
Sis: Well, we need to have energy, so I'm for it.
Me: Why don't we try reading the proposition?
Mom: Yes, there's quite a bit more to it. This one is more about tax breaks for energy.
Sis: Tax breaks are good and we need energy. That's good.
Mom: There's a lot of fine print in this- you might want to take a closer look. You should really read the book and go to the polls informed. This is serious. Maybe you shouldn't be voting if you're not going to take this seriously.
Sis: Well, I like Obama.
Before we move onto prop 8 my mom makes an observation: "I can't remember a time when I've said no to so many issues."
Prop 8- the gay marriage one
My dad asks if we want to skip over this one and my mom agrees.
Sister pipes in...
Sister: "Barbie and Ken set the model here. Barbie and Ken show marriage as it truly is."
Me: "Barbie and Ken broke up and I wouldn't necessarily use plastic toys as the model to demonstrate how marriage should be. In your play world they can be anything and do anything."
Sister: (pouts) "I DON'T PLAY WITH BARBIES!!! YOU DO!!!"
Me: "I play in this world called real life and this an issue that is going to affect a lot of people"
Sister: "Someone's pushy."
Me: (joklingly say) "People may end up like helpless little Barbies afterward."
Sister: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH YOU'RE FOR GAY MARRIAGE!!!"
Mom: (stares of disapproval)
Me: (tenses up and feels worried) It seems more about the general population- this would be good for all people in general in so many ways- the economy, equal rights, etc.
Sister: (becomes defensive) well, it is against the Bible, what marriage truly is, and it destroys traditionalists.
Dad: (uses his teacherly voice) ladies, gentlemen, let's move on.
Also, if you haven't already please see this post on prop 8
Please, read the big book on the initiatives and what they mean. Please, don't be like my sister. People like her bug. I'm tired of stupid people.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
The Guy, Jeff, Josh, and I
I called and texted The Guy Sunday morning. I texted about 9:45 and didn't get a response, so I called him at 10:30. We talked about him playing WOW and then I mentioned near the end of the convo that I got my box from DHL to ship my computer back to Apple. He said great, come on over to get the Macbook Air from him.
I was on my way by 11 and at his place around 12. He opens the door when I arrive because it is locked. Then he tells me that Jeff is on his way over because he forgot his computer last night when he was over playing WOW. I said that's not a problem because he asked if it was. We sit down and play WOW. I have to play alone because The Guy is in an instance with Dan and Alex. While sitting on the couch the conversation isn't as good as it usually is, but there is talk about our need for the really unhealthy pizza place he likes... not the one I got him the gift certificate to as an apology. I was trying to think of a way to bring up the gift certificate. I hadn't yet given it to him and I didn't want to bring it up and make a big deal like "HEY! I NEED TO APOLOGIZE!" I wanted it to be subtle. Jeff called a couple times in the midst of this and The Guy called Jeff finally. The Guy had an idea- Jeff would come to The Guy's, then he'd go to the pizza place, then on the way back use The Guy's gas credit card and get gas for his car. Jeff agreed that was a good idea.
Josh calls a couple times while we're sitting on the couch, but The Guy doesn't answer, then blows him off in texts. They were supposed to grab lunch, but The Guy told Josh he was feeling anti-social and was going to stay home alone all day. Then finally after Jeff arrives back with the pizza calls and says he felt bad, didn't mean to blow him off like that, and to come on over. Josh arrives at 3p.m. and The Guy explains he felt bad for ordering pizza when Josh eats so healthily. Josh did have a slice of the pizza and snacked on snow peas.
The 4 of us sit watching "Emma," "Harry Potter II," and "The Hulk." We take a break after Harry Potter for more pizza and a real dinner. The Guy warms up some leftover meatloaf, brown rice, green beans, and some bean soup he made. We stand around in the kitchen talking while he does this. Then The Guy asks if we want some wine with dinner. Before Josh had arrived there were NUMEROUS sexual references and I knew this was apart of the plan. We all agreed. Jeff talked about how he doesn't drink, but this peer pressure is going to cause him because he is now in a business club and to socialize in the future he'll need to learn to drink wine. We stand in the kitchen eating at the bar and talking about how The Guy wants to redo his kitchen.
After, we go back to watching "The Hulk" and play around on our computers. All 4 of us were there playing WOW. We only did 2 instances and we died both times because we didn't have a healer. The Guy couldn't heal and tank. Jeff and I were mages. Josh was a hunter. We gave up and The Guy set out to delete everything from his brother's computer to give to Josh. Josh is leaning close to THe Guy during the movie and The Guy says he is going to make us brownies. I was thinking I'm sure there will be something else in the brownies too... no... there wasn't... He goes into the kitchen, melts the chocolate, gets the flour, sugar, and sets out to make his brownies. Jeff tells him no, that's so bad of him, and Josh succumbed and rooted him on and said he could have a cheat day, plus they were homemade.
All afternoon The Guy's dog was wanting to get up on the couch, but THe Guy kept yelling, I did too, as well as Jeff for him to mind and get off the couch. He'd try to climb up in between us. Finally The Guy told him NO and the dog growled. That was enough for The Guy to put him in the dog kennel for the duration of the night. He doesn't want the dog to be under the impression he is entitled to the couch- too late.
Anyways, after the movie is over the brownies are ready. Jeff avoids them. Josh and I each have 2 squares. THEY WERE DELICIOUS. Very airy and chewy. I'm not a brownie fan to begin with because they're often hard and really heavy feeling. Josh talks about how even though he is eating those, he'll be out tonight running, and working out in the gym tomorrow. The Guy joked since he didn't have milk we could have some alcohol to go with the brownies-another reference to getting Josh in bed.
We decide to take the dog to the park to work off the brownie and let him get some exercise. The 4 of us trot over there and talk about the fires in the area lately and try to confuse his dog and get him to run after each of us. He ran after everyone but me. Dang.
We get back to The Guy's place and Jeff takes off because it is 11p.m. The Guy asks what I'm going to do and he asks if I mind taking off for some alone time with Josh. I said sure. I asked him for the Macbook Air and he tried to explain to me how to transfer my files over to it. Then Josh asks if I'm taking off and I said yes. They both were going back to play WOW on the couch.
As I was leaving I really still wanted to tell The Guy sorry and not bring it up again later. I didn't want to hand it to him and make a scene, but I wanted him to see it and so I put the white envelope with the card on the counter near the door where there was a box of trash or something, but also his car keys. I laid it close enough to that so hopefully he sees it.
Coming home I had to stop at Stater Brothers for a few things for breakfast and lunch this week, so I make a quick trip there. My total is $23.64 and I pay with the $30 I had in my pocket. The Guy asked earlier if I had money when he was searching for some. I looked in my wallet and found there was $30. I also had to stop for gas. I went to Arco, which I loathe. I prefer to gas up at Shell because there is no ATM fee and also because I tend to get better mileage out of Shell gas. Yes, I believe Arco is low quality gas. I only went there because my gas light was on and my car said 16 miles to empty, which would never get me home, and I didn't know how accurate the car was. I am at the kiosk trying to get the card reader to accept my credit card, but it doesn't. I had to use credit instead of ATM because I have no money in my checking account because of some favors I did for my parents. I was in a panic because I was worried about not getting to the next gas station and my credit card wasn't working. Arco apparently doesn't accept credit cards. Every other gas station does. Anyways, I am standing there in a panic and I think to myself "just text The Guy, ask to borrow his gas card" since I was still close enough to his house. I started out my text and thought screw it because I can't ask him for money. Part of my text was sent- another reason texting is evil. He gets a text that says "my cre." I end up remembering that I had the change from Staters in my car and I put the $6 toward gas to get home. The Guy calls me and asks if everything is ok. I said now everything was. He asked what happened and I explained Arco didn't accept credit cards, no money in my ATM, which made me feel bad because I didn't go into the whole story about why I was at Arco and how once he sees the card will know I had money, or will think I did something drastic to get that gift certificate when he already knows I was in a money bind/still am. The money bind has been solved for the mostpart- my mom is picking up the tab on my credit card because of this, but The Guy doesn't know this, and with me giving the gift cards makes me seem like I was shopping for attention. Not the case. I know I'll probably end up telling him. He says not a big deal and next time I see him that he doesn't mind giving me his card. I said thanks and ended the call. I burst out crying after. I just felt so bad. I was kind of propositioning The Guy for money. I don't ask my friends for money- that's something I don't do. I feel like a part of me was lost for sinking that low. I know The Guy was totally ok, but I still feel bad. Then it didn't help that every sad song on the radio was playing and it just furthered the tears. I heard "Always Be My Baby" by Mariah Carey, "I Wonder" by Kellie Pickler, and "Skin" by Rascal Flatts- songs that never made me cry before, but tonight, just touched the right place. I don't think I've mentioned this anywhere, but the lyrics of "Always Be My Baby" remind me a lot of The Guy and I...
"Always Be My Baby"
We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
Noooohoh!
... while The Guy and I might not have a love that will never die, I hope it is a friendship that will never die. We're also both free to pursue others and he was the one who wanted me to be free...
"I Wonder" - Kellie Pickler
I think part of the reason for all of this crying was that I'm tired. I haven't slept more than 3-4 hours if I'm lucky in about 3 weeks. Part of it is nerves- especially last week when I felt so bad for treating The Guy badly. The other part is things have come up- I never expected I'd be running to the hospital at 11:30p.m. last Thursday night to comfort my friend Steve and not get home until 5a.m. because I sat with him all night after his mom's car accident. Friday night I just couldn't tune my brain off, and all night bingo last night didn't help. Brain is in overload right now, I'm upset, I'm horny, I'm stressed, and so I'm blogging.
Edit: Slept ok last night, but woke up several times after 5a.m. I ended up calling in sick at 6:55 this morning so I could sleep until 9 this morning before going to school, but then had that on my conscience... haha... not a big deal, though. Only thing about that is I don't get paid.
Nothing happened with Josh apparently last night other than THe Guy and him talked. He found my card about 10:30 this morning and texted me to say thanks. Great!
I was on my way by 11 and at his place around 12. He opens the door when I arrive because it is locked. Then he tells me that Jeff is on his way over because he forgot his computer last night when he was over playing WOW. I said that's not a problem because he asked if it was. We sit down and play WOW. I have to play alone because The Guy is in an instance with Dan and Alex. While sitting on the couch the conversation isn't as good as it usually is, but there is talk about our need for the really unhealthy pizza place he likes... not the one I got him the gift certificate to as an apology. I was trying to think of a way to bring up the gift certificate. I hadn't yet given it to him and I didn't want to bring it up and make a big deal like "HEY! I NEED TO APOLOGIZE!" I wanted it to be subtle. Jeff called a couple times in the midst of this and The Guy called Jeff finally. The Guy had an idea- Jeff would come to The Guy's, then he'd go to the pizza place, then on the way back use The Guy's gas credit card and get gas for his car. Jeff agreed that was a good idea.
Josh calls a couple times while we're sitting on the couch, but The Guy doesn't answer, then blows him off in texts. They were supposed to grab lunch, but The Guy told Josh he was feeling anti-social and was going to stay home alone all day. Then finally after Jeff arrives back with the pizza calls and says he felt bad, didn't mean to blow him off like that, and to come on over. Josh arrives at 3p.m. and The Guy explains he felt bad for ordering pizza when Josh eats so healthily. Josh did have a slice of the pizza and snacked on snow peas.
The 4 of us sit watching "Emma," "Harry Potter II," and "The Hulk." We take a break after Harry Potter for more pizza and a real dinner. The Guy warms up some leftover meatloaf, brown rice, green beans, and some bean soup he made. We stand around in the kitchen talking while he does this. Then The Guy asks if we want some wine with dinner. Before Josh had arrived there were NUMEROUS sexual references and I knew this was apart of the plan. We all agreed. Jeff talked about how he doesn't drink, but this peer pressure is going to cause him because he is now in a business club and to socialize in the future he'll need to learn to drink wine. We stand in the kitchen eating at the bar and talking about how The Guy wants to redo his kitchen.
After, we go back to watching "The Hulk" and play around on our computers. All 4 of us were there playing WOW. We only did 2 instances and we died both times because we didn't have a healer. The Guy couldn't heal and tank. Jeff and I were mages. Josh was a hunter. We gave up and The Guy set out to delete everything from his brother's computer to give to Josh. Josh is leaning close to THe Guy during the movie and The Guy says he is going to make us brownies. I was thinking I'm sure there will be something else in the brownies too... no... there wasn't... He goes into the kitchen, melts the chocolate, gets the flour, sugar, and sets out to make his brownies. Jeff tells him no, that's so bad of him, and Josh succumbed and rooted him on and said he could have a cheat day, plus they were homemade.
All afternoon The Guy's dog was wanting to get up on the couch, but THe Guy kept yelling, I did too, as well as Jeff for him to mind and get off the couch. He'd try to climb up in between us. Finally The Guy told him NO and the dog growled. That was enough for The Guy to put him in the dog kennel for the duration of the night. He doesn't want the dog to be under the impression he is entitled to the couch- too late.
Anyways, after the movie is over the brownies are ready. Jeff avoids them. Josh and I each have 2 squares. THEY WERE DELICIOUS. Very airy and chewy. I'm not a brownie fan to begin with because they're often hard and really heavy feeling. Josh talks about how even though he is eating those, he'll be out tonight running, and working out in the gym tomorrow. The Guy joked since he didn't have milk we could have some alcohol to go with the brownies-another reference to getting Josh in bed.
We decide to take the dog to the park to work off the brownie and let him get some exercise. The 4 of us trot over there and talk about the fires in the area lately and try to confuse his dog and get him to run after each of us. He ran after everyone but me. Dang.
We get back to The Guy's place and Jeff takes off because it is 11p.m. The Guy asks what I'm going to do and he asks if I mind taking off for some alone time with Josh. I said sure. I asked him for the Macbook Air and he tried to explain to me how to transfer my files over to it. Then Josh asks if I'm taking off and I said yes. They both were going back to play WOW on the couch.
As I was leaving I really still wanted to tell The Guy sorry and not bring it up again later. I didn't want to hand it to him and make a scene, but I wanted him to see it and so I put the white envelope with the card on the counter near the door where there was a box of trash or something, but also his car keys. I laid it close enough to that so hopefully he sees it.
Coming home I had to stop at Stater Brothers for a few things for breakfast and lunch this week, so I make a quick trip there. My total is $23.64 and I pay with the $30 I had in my pocket. The Guy asked earlier if I had money when he was searching for some. I looked in my wallet and found there was $30. I also had to stop for gas. I went to Arco, which I loathe. I prefer to gas up at Shell because there is no ATM fee and also because I tend to get better mileage out of Shell gas. Yes, I believe Arco is low quality gas. I only went there because my gas light was on and my car said 16 miles to empty, which would never get me home, and I didn't know how accurate the car was. I am at the kiosk trying to get the card reader to accept my credit card, but it doesn't. I had to use credit instead of ATM because I have no money in my checking account because of some favors I did for my parents. I was in a panic because I was worried about not getting to the next gas station and my credit card wasn't working. Arco apparently doesn't accept credit cards. Every other gas station does. Anyways, I am standing there in a panic and I think to myself "just text The Guy, ask to borrow his gas card" since I was still close enough to his house. I started out my text and thought screw it because I can't ask him for money. Part of my text was sent- another reason texting is evil. He gets a text that says "my cre." I end up remembering that I had the change from Staters in my car and I put the $6 toward gas to get home. The Guy calls me and asks if everything is ok. I said now everything was. He asked what happened and I explained Arco didn't accept credit cards, no money in my ATM, which made me feel bad because I didn't go into the whole story about why I was at Arco and how once he sees the card will know I had money, or will think I did something drastic to get that gift certificate when he already knows I was in a money bind/still am. The money bind has been solved for the mostpart- my mom is picking up the tab on my credit card because of this, but The Guy doesn't know this, and with me giving the gift cards makes me seem like I was shopping for attention. Not the case. I know I'll probably end up telling him. He says not a big deal and next time I see him that he doesn't mind giving me his card. I said thanks and ended the call. I burst out crying after. I just felt so bad. I was kind of propositioning The Guy for money. I don't ask my friends for money- that's something I don't do. I feel like a part of me was lost for sinking that low. I know The Guy was totally ok, but I still feel bad. Then it didn't help that every sad song on the radio was playing and it just furthered the tears. I heard "Always Be My Baby" by Mariah Carey, "I Wonder" by Kellie Pickler, and "Skin" by Rascal Flatts- songs that never made me cry before, but tonight, just touched the right place. I don't think I've mentioned this anywhere, but the lyrics of "Always Be My Baby" remind me a lot of The Guy and I...
"Always Be My Baby"
We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
Noooohoh!
... while The Guy and I might not have a love that will never die, I hope it is a friendship that will never die. We're also both free to pursue others and he was the one who wanted me to be free...
"I Wonder" - Kellie Pickler
I think part of the reason for all of this crying was that I'm tired. I haven't slept more than 3-4 hours if I'm lucky in about 3 weeks. Part of it is nerves- especially last week when I felt so bad for treating The Guy badly. The other part is things have come up- I never expected I'd be running to the hospital at 11:30p.m. last Thursday night to comfort my friend Steve and not get home until 5a.m. because I sat with him all night after his mom's car accident. Friday night I just couldn't tune my brain off, and all night bingo last night didn't help. Brain is in overload right now, I'm upset, I'm horny, I'm stressed, and so I'm blogging.
Edit: Slept ok last night, but woke up several times after 5a.m. I ended up calling in sick at 6:55 this morning so I could sleep until 9 this morning before going to school, but then had that on my conscience... haha... not a big deal, though. Only thing about that is I don't get paid.
Nothing happened with Josh apparently last night other than THe Guy and him talked. He found my card about 10:30 this morning and texted me to say thanks. Great!
Friday, October 24, 2008
THE YES ON 8 MAFIA
Here's a story from Ms. Sharon Tay, whom I used to joke was my girlfriend, telling about some tactics from the Yes on 8 campaign.
This just made me donate more than I already have to the No on 8 campaign.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
He talked... or I talked
I texted The Guy yesterday at 1:30p.m. as I was getting out of school and telling him that I was hoping he was having a good day. He texted me back about 3 hours later and said thanks. I wasn't going to call him again or make any effort to, but I was having such a bad night last night. I have not slept since Friday night. I wanted to hear his voice as a sort of consolation so that I could sleep. At 9:30 he calls me and asks what's going on. I tell him some details about my day like my annoying Microsoft Word problem where it refuses to make accent marks and crashes after I attempt to. He said for me to bring my computer over about 2p.m. today.
At 1p.m. I was out running errands, so I texted and said if he was willing to, I was willing to have him help. He replied with "ready, willing, and able." Then we settled on 2:30p.m.
I still feel AWFUL for how I treated The Guy, and I was going to make it up to him. I stopped by our favorite pizza place for a gift certificate for him. They were out, so I figured I'd just get one later, and with Jeff being there, this wasn't the time; so that was ok. I get over to his place and Jeff is there working. The Guy gets started on a search looking for the disc for Office. He asks if I wanted Office 04 or Office 08. I said whatever was easiest. He went on a search for 08 but couldn't find them. He gave me all of the cords from his file cabinet and below that was the box for 08. He asked me to sort through the cords. The cords are an unwieldy bunch- about 5-6 firewire cables, iPod cords, computer cords, and other odd connectors. I got them untangled and then asked what he wanted done. Of course he wanted them tossed into the big tub of cords in his bedroom. Woot for all of that work.
Jeff gets ready to take off about this time and The Guy tells him and I about his trainer Josh. Jeff had just asked The Guy what he thought about some new bath wash that he gave him and The Guy said they were great. He said he used the body oil on Josh. Last Wednesday night he gave Josh a full body massage and he was laying on The Guy's bed in only underwear. At the end, they were laying next to each other and talking about Josh and his girlfriend. He told his girlfriend a week back that The Guy knows him better than she does, which was a big no-no. The Guy told him that was a big no-no. The Guy said that the problem is Josh's girlfriend also works at the gym and sees how The Guy and Josh interact, so she is friendly toward The Guy; but he sees that she is also very watchful of him because her biggest fear is that Josh is gay and that's why he is so friendly with The Guy. Josh sat up and said to The Guy: "I am just so confused. I think I'm straight, but I just don't know. We have a great relationship and I don't want to ruin it if something were to happen." Then he affirmed that whatever "happens, will happen between him and The Guy and it'll be natural, not forced."
The Guy calls Apple Care on my computer because the backlight is still acting up. While doing this, he is also playing Warcraft and gets up a full level to level 69. He wants to stay home and play tonight, but tells me how he needs to go to pilates and he is meeting up a guy for dinner. I told him at 6:00p.m. he could still go to the gym and I wouldn't mind at all, but he then decides to take the iTunes server he just bought and try it out. So much for pilates. He spends 30 minutes trying to figure the server out, but it doesn't work.
At 6:45 he hops in the shower. After he is in, he yells and asks me if I have jacked off recently. In all honestly the last time I got off was last Friday night. He said "well, hop in." I undress and get in the shower with him. The Guy is really hard. He pushes me down to suck his dick and I do. I do that for probably 5 minutes. Then we stand up and he is dry humping me and pushing in on my chest and playing with my nipples. Then we turn and hug each other and we both shoot our loads. We lather up and then wash off.
By that time it is 7:15 and he is in a panic to make it by 7:30 to Victoria Gardens. He goes in the bathroom and does his hair. While there he talks about my computer problem and I tell him how paranoid I was sitting in class hitting the "option and e" keys to try to form an accent mark, but it wasn't working, and how I was sitting there firmly pressing each key to no avail. Then he said he was glad he could fix it for me. I said I was too and thanked him. He affirmed "anytime, you know I'm here for you." I said thanks.
He puts the dog in the kennel, and we take off. I stop at the gas station across from his condo complex that has nice and cheap $3.09 gas and fill up my car. It is still $3.22 out here where I live. The pizza place had actually called me while I was at THe Guy's house telling me that the owner dropped the gift cards off, so I could come by and buy one. I bought one for $25.00 and will give it to The Guy next time I see him.
At least we're talking again and I can put some of this anxiety to rest.
At 1p.m. I was out running errands, so I texted and said if he was willing to, I was willing to have him help. He replied with "ready, willing, and able." Then we settled on 2:30p.m.
I still feel AWFUL for how I treated The Guy, and I was going to make it up to him. I stopped by our favorite pizza place for a gift certificate for him. They were out, so I figured I'd just get one later, and with Jeff being there, this wasn't the time; so that was ok. I get over to his place and Jeff is there working. The Guy gets started on a search looking for the disc for Office. He asks if I wanted Office 04 or Office 08. I said whatever was easiest. He went on a search for 08 but couldn't find them. He gave me all of the cords from his file cabinet and below that was the box for 08. He asked me to sort through the cords. The cords are an unwieldy bunch- about 5-6 firewire cables, iPod cords, computer cords, and other odd connectors. I got them untangled and then asked what he wanted done. Of course he wanted them tossed into the big tub of cords in his bedroom. Woot for all of that work.
Jeff gets ready to take off about this time and The Guy tells him and I about his trainer Josh. Jeff had just asked The Guy what he thought about some new bath wash that he gave him and The Guy said they were great. He said he used the body oil on Josh. Last Wednesday night he gave Josh a full body massage and he was laying on The Guy's bed in only underwear. At the end, they were laying next to each other and talking about Josh and his girlfriend. He told his girlfriend a week back that The Guy knows him better than she does, which was a big no-no. The Guy told him that was a big no-no. The Guy said that the problem is Josh's girlfriend also works at the gym and sees how The Guy and Josh interact, so she is friendly toward The Guy; but he sees that she is also very watchful of him because her biggest fear is that Josh is gay and that's why he is so friendly with The Guy. Josh sat up and said to The Guy: "I am just so confused. I think I'm straight, but I just don't know. We have a great relationship and I don't want to ruin it if something were to happen." Then he affirmed that whatever "happens, will happen between him and The Guy and it'll be natural, not forced."
The Guy calls Apple Care on my computer because the backlight is still acting up. While doing this, he is also playing Warcraft and gets up a full level to level 69. He wants to stay home and play tonight, but tells me how he needs to go to pilates and he is meeting up a guy for dinner. I told him at 6:00p.m. he could still go to the gym and I wouldn't mind at all, but he then decides to take the iTunes server he just bought and try it out. So much for pilates. He spends 30 minutes trying to figure the server out, but it doesn't work.
At 6:45 he hops in the shower. After he is in, he yells and asks me if I have jacked off recently. In all honestly the last time I got off was last Friday night. He said "well, hop in." I undress and get in the shower with him. The Guy is really hard. He pushes me down to suck his dick and I do. I do that for probably 5 minutes. Then we stand up and he is dry humping me and pushing in on my chest and playing with my nipples. Then we turn and hug each other and we both shoot our loads. We lather up and then wash off.
By that time it is 7:15 and he is in a panic to make it by 7:30 to Victoria Gardens. He goes in the bathroom and does his hair. While there he talks about my computer problem and I tell him how paranoid I was sitting in class hitting the "option and e" keys to try to form an accent mark, but it wasn't working, and how I was sitting there firmly pressing each key to no avail. Then he said he was glad he could fix it for me. I said I was too and thanked him. He affirmed "anytime, you know I'm here for you." I said thanks.
He puts the dog in the kennel, and we take off. I stop at the gas station across from his condo complex that has nice and cheap $3.09 gas and fill up my car. It is still $3.22 out here where I live. The pizza place had actually called me while I was at THe Guy's house telling me that the owner dropped the gift cards off, so I could come by and buy one. I bought one for $25.00 and will give it to The Guy next time I see him.
At least we're talking again and I can put some of this anxiety to rest.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Told him about all of my issues
Told The Guy about all of the issues in the last post and my concerns. He understands why I was avoiding him and how he was egging it on. I told him that he had to let me get all of my feelings out, then we could talk about the issues afterward. He has a tendency to want to go into Mr. Fix It Mode when talking about all of my problems, and he did last night. I didn't appreciate it. I finally talked to him this morning over AIM and just said LET ME TALK- THESE ARE MY ISSUES... and he did... then he said that he is really hurt, but understands. I was so sick over this I couldn't sleep last night, so it was obviously effecting me also.
We did hang out last night and it was not pretty. I was in a FOUL mood. He coaxed me into going over, and I did because I was so mad here at home. He ordered some food and he made me a plate when I got to his house. It was beef and chicken teryaki from the place up the street. He asked if I wanted to play a little WOW. That is when he said that he had a plan with the computers. He gave Matt, his ex, his other 15'' Macbook Pro that was bought about the same time as mine and has the same equipment, just a better processor and graphics card. He wants to give that to me and have me give him my current computer. He sent Matt an e-mail last night for that.
We went to CVS to get some snacks. While there we walk through the aisles. He wants pretzels and he has 5-6 different chocolate bars in his hand. I kept saying Skittles sounded better, even though they didn't. He then asks what I want. I said nothing. We walk back to the pretzels and look at the chips. I finally said let's get yogurt, so he says "YES." That's the plan. We set the stuff down in the wrong place and walk over to the yogurt place where there is a talkative cashier helping us, which was cool. The Guy called her a Chatty Cathy. HAHA. Yes, I know what a Chatty Cathy doll is- my mom still has one.
We go back to his place and play a little more WOW. I said sure. We do and then he decides he wants mashed potatoes. He sings "mashed potatoes" over and over to the tune of "I Dream of Genie." I didn't pick up on that. It didn't sound like it. We go to the Farmers Market for mashed potatoes, vitamins, and other things. He talks about how he likes buying $30 vitamins here because he feels like he is getting the full effect from them from paying more. In the car I told him how talking to my mom the real issue with my dad was over some furniture. No joke. This drama that has been going on with my dad is over furniture. The Guy was mad and then went into fix it mode. I didn't want to hear it. I kind of shut down.
We get back to his place, hang around talking about all the old TV themes we remember. My list was much longer than his- Fall Guy, Kung Fu, A-Team, Hunter, Simon & Simon, I Dream of Genie, The Jeffersons (which we both burst into singing), Good Times, Knight Rider, Chips, Night Court, and a bunch of others. He was more into the Bionic Woman and other stuff... haha. We do agree the Jeffersons is the absolute best TV theme song of all time. haha
At the end of the night, The Guy was going to hang out and "do stuff" with Joe. He invited me to. I didn't want to, but The Guy and I hug and then I get ready to leave. The Guy plays his game "are you going to call me tomorrow?" and I'm not buying it. I get in my car, burst into tears, then drive away. I text him some really angry texts to just get under his skin. I did.
He gets online this morning as I said and I am resilient to talk, but finally unload everything on him and feel a lot better. He even says he thinks our friendship will survive, but it is obvious we both have hurt feelings.
So I have a question...
Question: What is your favorite TV theme song? I'm kind of curious because there are sooooooooo many good ones...
We did hang out last night and it was not pretty. I was in a FOUL mood. He coaxed me into going over, and I did because I was so mad here at home. He ordered some food and he made me a plate when I got to his house. It was beef and chicken teryaki from the place up the street. He asked if I wanted to play a little WOW. That is when he said that he had a plan with the computers. He gave Matt, his ex, his other 15'' Macbook Pro that was bought about the same time as mine and has the same equipment, just a better processor and graphics card. He wants to give that to me and have me give him my current computer. He sent Matt an e-mail last night for that.
We went to CVS to get some snacks. While there we walk through the aisles. He wants pretzels and he has 5-6 different chocolate bars in his hand. I kept saying Skittles sounded better, even though they didn't. He then asks what I want. I said nothing. We walk back to the pretzels and look at the chips. I finally said let's get yogurt, so he says "YES." That's the plan. We set the stuff down in the wrong place and walk over to the yogurt place where there is a talkative cashier helping us, which was cool. The Guy called her a Chatty Cathy. HAHA. Yes, I know what a Chatty Cathy doll is- my mom still has one.
We go back to his place and play a little more WOW. I said sure. We do and then he decides he wants mashed potatoes. He sings "mashed potatoes" over and over to the tune of "I Dream of Genie." I didn't pick up on that. It didn't sound like it. We go to the Farmers Market for mashed potatoes, vitamins, and other things. He talks about how he likes buying $30 vitamins here because he feels like he is getting the full effect from them from paying more. In the car I told him how talking to my mom the real issue with my dad was over some furniture. No joke. This drama that has been going on with my dad is over furniture. The Guy was mad and then went into fix it mode. I didn't want to hear it. I kind of shut down.
We get back to his place, hang around talking about all the old TV themes we remember. My list was much longer than his- Fall Guy, Kung Fu, A-Team, Hunter, Simon & Simon, I Dream of Genie, The Jeffersons (which we both burst into singing), Good Times, Knight Rider, Chips, Night Court, and a bunch of others. He was more into the Bionic Woman and other stuff... haha. We do agree the Jeffersons is the absolute best TV theme song of all time. haha
At the end of the night, The Guy was going to hang out and "do stuff" with Joe. He invited me to. I didn't want to, but The Guy and I hug and then I get ready to leave. The Guy plays his game "are you going to call me tomorrow?" and I'm not buying it. I get in my car, burst into tears, then drive away. I text him some really angry texts to just get under his skin. I did.
He gets online this morning as I said and I am resilient to talk, but finally unload everything on him and feel a lot better. He even says he thinks our friendship will survive, but it is obvious we both have hurt feelings.
So I have a question...
Question: What is your favorite TV theme song? I'm kind of curious because there are sooooooooo many good ones...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)