A most cathartic night

I had the craziest idea this morning going to work- seriously- I was thinking as I was getting out of my car wouldn't it be funny if my cousin from Oklahoma were in town. NO JOKE. SERIOUSLY. It seemed like a crazy day- it was- and she always seems to show up on those crazy days. I hadn't seen her in 3 years since the leaf blower experience.

I had texted my cousin back and forth only once or twice over the past 3 years. Suddenly at 12:30 today I get a text from her as I'm going to lunch. She asks what I'm up to tonight. At first I thought someone got her old number since she never picked up the phone when I would call I assumed it was out of service. I texted back I had school, but could get out of that. I then asked if she was in California, and she wrote back San Diego. I said let's meet. I said I had a seminar from 5-6 at school that I had to attend, but after we could. I would go to class for a little bit since missing 1 class drops you a letter grade. I got a call from her about 6:30 and stepped out to take it. I felt bad- I'm not one to do that- but I hadn't seen her in 3 years. I excused myself, then when the students were working I told her that I had a family emergency just come up and she told me to go. I headed down to Temecula to see my cousin. I had texted her a Mexican restaurant I found on yelp that turns out doesn't exist anymore.

So I drive down there- we are both running behind and get there about 8. She was ahead of me and couldn't find the restaurant. She went up and down Highway 79 trying to find the restaurant. Finally I call and tell her I couldn't find it. I pulled in a random shopping center I'd pulled in before and had eaten at the Jack in the Box. I told her that she was nearby me and to come there. It just so happens there was a Mexican restaurant in the lot, and she wanted Mexican. It was Los Tacos. First of all, the tacos at Los Tacos weren't great. I had a taco al pastor, de lengua, y de res. But a huge shout out to them for staying open an extra hour and letting us stay until 10p.m. while they cleaned up so we could talk.

So she has a hard time finding me. I stand on the street corner, then she finally comes up to the shopping center. I run through the parking lot back to my car. She comes in her little HHR rental car and stops, gets out, comes running, and hugs me. It was a deja vu moment. We hug, she turns off the car, and we head inside. We spend lots of time looking at the menu and she can't get over that there is tongue, brain, and other icky stuff on the menu. She told me how adventurous she was for trying hummus.

We chit chat about everything- me, my grandma, my sister, my parents. She tells me about her life, the loss of her dad this year, the loss of her best friend. She was practically in tears. I told her about the difficulties with my aunt over my grandma and was nearly in tears too. She talked about practically raising my lesbian cousin's kids since she is always off with her lesbian lover. She didn't bad mouth her or anything, just that she wishes she would be a responsible parent because her kids resent her. She broke out crying telling me how she wants kids of her own so badly and her 13 year marriage just failed. I was crying from all the laughter too- in a restaurant- we forgot there were others around us- the workers. We talked about our passions. She manages a fast food restaurant, but she talked about how she has been doing it for 10 years and is really reaping the rewards- company car, cell phone, a sabbatical every couple years. She has had 16 weeks of vacation time this year. Now- disregard she turned down Harvard to do this. We are both truly content where we are and we both tooted our own horns for how successful we have been. Anyways, she told me how she is the planner. We talk about our love for planning, being ahead, getting things done early, and overall satisfaction for our hindsight. This conversation dominated during the night. She seemed so much happier than when I'd saw her 3 years ago. She lost a lot of weight, was wearing more stylish clothes, and had a much more confident side I had not seen. As we saw the restaurant getting ready to close my cousin asked that the lady working would take pictures of us, and she did. We took a couple silly ones. We went out, got in my car, and just talked. It was so fun!!! We talked about our love of travel, random trips, random friends who are up for anything, and how even in our randomness/crazy days we schedule/plan our randomness to an extent. SOOOOOOO TRUE. She is like my long lost sister. The bond we had was crazy. When I made statements like long lost sister we hugged. We playfully hit each other. I showed her up in my planning as I have dental floss and a toothbrush in my car, hand cream, gum, and gloves. She only hand hand cream and sanitizer. She was tickled by that. I told her about Florida. She told me about Europe. She told me about Vegas. I told her about my Vegas experiences. We are going to try to keep in better contact. So much that we still didn't get to say to each other...

Anyways, I have to say I left with a huge smile on my face tonight and felt such an anxiety from my chest lifted. I still, nearly an hour and 30 minutes later don't feel the anxiety in my chest that I have had all week. She truly made my week!!!!

And on a more serious note I am thinking of visiting my doctor about regular anxiety meds. I've had a pretty constant anxiety over the past several weeks. :-\