Thursday, April 4, 2013

First big fight

Well me and my man had our first big fight. Family drama. Easter. I wasn't comfortable introducing him to my extended family. I just kind of went around being social with the family and ignored him, and left him to introduce people. Had a really awkward moment where my cousin and his wife arrived, and we were talking about things, and Mike said, "you live in this city with me," and they're like is that true, and I chalked it up to school. I saw my dad looking at me, scoffing, and turning red, so I said "only because so much is going on with school." I felt so defeated. About 5 minutes later he comes over and says he is ready to leave. I asked why. We went outside and talked and it was everything to do to keep me from crying. He said he was ready to end it since I wasn't willing to acknowledge us, or where I live. We left about 5, everyone else stayed until about 7. I left with him and cried the entire car ride home, and on the couch in the evening. We talked and had an ok conversation where I explained my side. He basically said my dad needs to know and understand I've moved out. We are slowly handling things - my dad and I.

Mike and I tonight are going to talk about merging our insurances - my car insurance and his would go down, even with my 1 ticket on our plan - we would save over $700. We would also get life insurance with the savings and then use the money for something else.

1 comment:

fan of casey said...

It's hard to know what's right without objective facts so I won't try to take sides.

You just have to deal with the fall out the best you can. I am sure you can see his side, even if you don't agree with it, and he can can also accommodate some of your needs. Your BF feels hurt because you cannot acknowledge him openly and the fact that you have mentally moved out, if not totally physically.

It may be that there is no happy medium that will satisfy either side, so you will need to decide what is more important, your BF and your future together or keeping un appearances and appeasing your father.

You have talked before how you don't want to agitate things with your dad because he is ill, but would it be so difficult to explain to him that you are growing up and that means cutting some of the ties to home? It's not like you are going to walk out and never come back, but you also have to be able to live your own life.

Family have a way of trying to guilt you into things, and you cannot give into emotional blackmail, but at the same time you can still be connected during regular visits home.