Monday, November 30, 2009

Musical trivia

I remember this song from 7th grade and after DWTS ended the other day I was trying to think what Mya sang after hearing her name tossed around for months. I could only remember "Lady Marmalade"

Case of the Ex- Mya
I remember when this came out in 2000. I was in 7th grade.

Oh, and being the musical trivia fan, do any of you know the story behind the song?
It was picked for Mya to show a maturing Mya. The song is about a girl who won't tolerate her boyfriend returning to his ex. It was written by 2 people, one of whom was going through something like what the lyrics of the song portray.

This song is one that can potentially get annoying easily, but I like the lyrics, and have felt like this...

Need You Now- Lady Antebellum

May get some heat from this one, but I'll refrain from my opinions on his performance and just say I like it...

KIIS FM bothers me that they bleep out the word SEX each time it comes on. AMP Radio doesn't.

Did you know that Jeremih wrote this song to commemorate females on their special day and was originally called "birthday text?"

Pretty cool video just for the footage and it has that Bon Jovi sound. Makes me want to learn more about video editing

Did you know that this was based on a real life experience for Perry who basically had a fake wedding in Vegas with an ex?

The Beach Boys song "Good Vibrations" was inspired by Bryan Wilson's mom who said some people give off "good vibrations" and that's why sometimes dogs bark at some people, but not others.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Teacher Friend

Teacher Friend messaged me tonight. I expected him to. He was drunk- so drunk that he was numb. He needed a friend and I tried to be there. I try my best. At times I feel like it is my worst.

He told me he was drunk and that he had just come out to his mom after taking his boyfriend to the train station. He told his mom he didn't want to disappoint her, and she said that he didn't. That's about all that I know there.

He was just telling me through all of this in his drunken state over AIM that he feels so numb because he drank so much, he should be holding up better. It is in my nature to try to help people and be there for someone, but sometimes there is just nothing you can do it seems. I was trying my best to be optimistic and positive. I told him it was to be expected. I told him how great it was that his mom reacted so positively. I told him that I'd probably be worse than him if I were in that situation. I don't know. At times it seems like there is so little you can do when you want to help someone. I just did my best and told him if there was anything that he needed I was there to talk or do what I could.

Oh, and he has to go to work tomorrow. He has told me that 4-5 times over AIM.

What can you say?
What can you do?

Chris, get rid of the mustache

Dear Chris Schauble,

Your new mustache annoys me.

It is not becoming, along with your over the top delivery, excessive use of hands, overly cutesyness, and horrible ad-libbing drives me crazy.



Just watch his hands in this video.

And I can tell you who I'm not watching in the morning and completely disagree with this promo. I'm watching ABC 7 Eyewitness News.

Notice that it should be called Elita in LA as 15 seconds of the promo is devoted to the busty Elita Lorezca.

Oh, and don't even get me started on Jennifer Bjorklund. I think they may be one of the most unwatchable anchor teams in Los Angeles.

End of rant.

Friday, November 27, 2009

I stood up for her... yay...

This time it was the one in Oklahoma. My aunt was talking about my lesbian cousin's new lover. Aunt went on about how the Bible says it is wrong and she is trying to tell my cousin that because of this she is raising her children to believe it too. Cousin's oldest daughter just turned into a lesbian because my older cousin said that it was right. My cousin having another woman around is promoting it is ok for 2 women to run a family. It is going to cause my cousin's children to act out, they're going to be pushing boundaries like never before.

My mom is going to continue to pray, write a letter to my cousin telling her how bad this is on her children, and send her some links that she heard on Through the Bible Radio on KWAVE 107.9.

My aunt has taken my cousin to church, sat her down, read her scripture, and told her how she may have to intervene to change these children's minds. She said that she is going to take the kids for Thanksgiving weekend to get them out of the house of sin. My aunt acts as if she is the worst parent.

I'm just pissed off. My cousin is made out to look like the worst parent. She is not. She struggles to give the kids the best. She is one of the few parents who can actually and will actually spend all evening helping her kids with their math homework and things like that. She does so much for them.

When my mom told me to pray I told her NOT A CHANCE. "I can't pray that she is not a lesbian. It is not a choice. Read my paper (the paper I wrote for my psych class where I spelled out that homosexuality/lesbianism is not necessarily a choice, the person has identified with a certain sexuality and there is no changing that, but you have to be tolerant because it just fosters animosity)." I put the paper on her computer after I printed it up. It spells out my feelings exactly. At least I'm standing up for this.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Mi día de acción de gracias

Well, I'll start off with every detail...

I was up until 3a.m. talking to Teacher Friend. He has been chatting and messaging me nearly everyday, and I do the same to him. I think there's maybe something there. We chatted, he texted me when he headed out for dinner. We talked about underwear, being horny, and things like that. He thought I needed pictures, and at 2a.m., I was beyond the point of caring. I invited him to view my webcam. He invited me to view his, but his was dark, so he put light on. He always seems so private, but last night not so much. We were making faces on the cam with each other, I was the drugged one he decided with my homegrown herbs because I had a fascination playing with my fingers and putting them in front of the cam. He said he can see that I'm definitely a middle school teacher. He was being dirtier and making dirty signs with his hands (like a penis going into an ass). Soon shirts off, pants off, we're jacking. It was HOT!!!

I was up at 9. My mom made French doughnuts for breakfast- our new Thanksgiving tradition for the past few years since we go over to the relatives house on Thanksgiving. They were soooooo good and hit the spot!!!

We met for lunch with my aunt, uncle, and aunt's extended family. We met at 1 because we needed more time to play football since it always gets too dark too soon. Probably 30 people in attendance. Some observations:
- Lesbian cousin on my dad's side of the family brought her girlfriend and she was never formally introduced as "girlfriend." Lots of awkwardness because she had been shunned by the family so long and was suddenly back, and with her girlfriend. There was definitely apprehension toward her. The people I expected to be more welcoming were. The people I expected to hang back like my aunt and aunt's sister all did. Everyone was nice to her girlfriend, but it was implied who she was, or it came out that they were living together in a 1 bedroom apartment sharing the same bed. Comments were made once she left like "you hope they don't turn that way," "these things happen," showing disapproval by my aunt's sister. My aunt didn't say anything, but she wasn't pleased.
- I love 7 layer bean dip and homemade salsa... I probably ate 1/4 of the bean dip
- My cousin says there will probably be a more organized Las Vegas trip sometime in December. Problem not this weekend, but the following weekend or weekend after.
- We had several aunt's daughter's friends over who don't really have any family to go to for holidays. LC is a longtime friend and his kids are with his ex, so he came to hang out, eat, and play football.
- Another friend is an older lady, probably 60, a neurosurgeon and professor that adopted 2 kids from Russia a few years back. Incredibly brilliant woman. She is about to have a major invention in that field marketed that will be millions. She found out about my health problems/headaches and she wants to see me to see if she can help, and Kaiser should cover it she said. She's at every family gathering now.
- Daughtry was hot during the Dallas game, and I enjoyed the performance
- I think I may understand football a little more... or not...
- I can hardly catch a football
- I can run
- I can tackle
- I get confused and may run in a direction I'm not supposed to
- I can run
- I could never run in high school
- I kind of sort of get football
- Throw me the ball and I may start running in the wrong direction

Fun time overall just hanging with everyone, talking, and watching up

Now I'm here at home watching "Monster in Law" en Espanol.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I want to take a moment to wish each and every one of you a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! I appreciate the love, feedback, and support you guys all provide!


Wednesday, November 25, 2009


Remember j/o buddy? Well, he messaged me Monday night telling me he was having a few guys come over and we were going to stroke. I asked if it was just j/o. Just j/o seemed innocent enough, and so I was down.

There were 5 guys. J/o buddy, his friend Ray who went to my old college, 1 Middle Eastern guy named Adrian, and a guy who was a black mix. I sat in between the guy who was a black mix named Jay and Ray, who was Latino. We had a good mix of guys. All of us were cut. We just sat, lubed up our dicks, and stroked to porn, watching and checking each other out. We did this for probably 45 minutes before the Middle Eastern guy took a hold of j/o buddy's dick. Jay took a hold of the Middle Eastern guy's dick and stroked it. Ray took a hold of mine and I did the same for his. We just jacked each other for a while, occasionally moving and repositioning ourselves. Once we saw it was ok to touch it was cool for a few minutes and we stroked each other, then went back to ourselves. Jay was the first to shoot, then j/o buddy, then myself, Adrian, and finally Ray. We all kind of helped each other out playing with each others balls or nipples. We shot on ourselves, then cleaned up with some paper towels and soap/water. After cleaning up we got dressed. Ray was really quite cute. I have a thing for latino guys, remember. He was probably 6'2'', 200lbs, and a very cute face. Him and I hugged as we left.

So now that I'm thoroughly embarrassed by what I did last night I guess I'll post it. I can just think of some of my readers who are probably sitting there with their jaw dropping... haha.... but hey... it happened... lol....

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Some days I find myself sitting in traffic

... a lot... on side streets and freeways...

Sunday, November 22, 2009

New TV

The Guy and I postponed our hanging out so he could take Josh to lunch for his birthday since Josh called him yesterday morning. I am glad we did in that it was not rushed and there was plenty of time to just hang out.

I ended up going to a party my friend John's dad that John and his mom threw. John was called into work- in Central Cali- so he took off before the party started, but my parents had seen him and his mom at Costco earlier in the day. Fun party. We ate, watched Lingerie football, which I had to act interested in, talked, played poker (again, I loathe that), did shots, and one of the guys there played guitar and we sang along- we sang "Wake Up Little Suzie," by the Everly Brothers; "Puff the Magic Dragon," by Peter Paul and Mary; "American Pie," Don McLean; "House of the Rising Sun," The Animals; "Burnadette," by the 4 Tops; "Kryptonite," by 3 Doors Down; "White Rabbit," Jeferson Starship, and "Me and Bobby McGee" by Janis Joplin. We stuck to the oldies since that's what everyone knew. It was hilarious. Lots of good trivia. I LOVE musical trivia. Do you know who wrote "Me and Bobby McGee," the story behind "White Rabbit, or Puff? Oh, and while my parents were talking politics and religion with the guy who did all of the singing I was taking shots with John's dad of Amaretto. That's some dang good stuff- so smooth, so tasty, and smells good. Disaronno is my new best friend... kinda...

Like did you know the house of a rising sun is about a brothel in New Orleans?

So The Guy told me yesterday to call him when I woke up and I sat my alarm for 7:47, but when I got home at 12:30 last night it was hard to get up then. I managed and called him. He said we were going to take the dogs to the dog park, but he called me as he was on the way back because they just couldn't wait. He said he was sorry for missing me and that he isn't going to miss anything else I do, so I give him blow by blow details about me getting ready. I tell him, "I'm putting on my boxer briefs, putting on my pants, leaning over in the sink to do my hair." The call drops shortly after. I call him on my way and tell him all he'd missed. I waited 4 minutes for a train. I was sitting in the car with the heat on.

We were still doing breakfast. I was at his house by 8:40 and he was chatting on facebook, we were talking about computers, and stuff like that. He wanted to try and put the Mozilla OS onto a Netbook, so we were headed to Best Buy it turns out. We debate about breakfast- go out to a cafe, go to a pancake house, Sausage McMuffins with egg, or The Guy would cook. We were about to do Mickey D's, but then THe Guy decided we'd make eggs and carnitas. I crack the 8 eggs and he cooks the carnitas meat and eggs together. It was really good and I was able to stomach the eggs. Nothing against eggs, but my stomach is always so sour in the morning it is hard for me to stomach so many things. I didn't each much, but it was delicious.

We then get in the car, head to Best Buy, and The Guy tells me about the boy he went to see from Wisconsin. He is coming out the first few days in December. We went into Best Buy, which was already open, which was surprising since it wasn't 10a.m. yet. We are helped by a nice young girl and she tells about the Netbooks with 3g, but none of them will work with the OS. We look at some of the bigger laptops, but Best Buy doesn't have any of them in stock. Dang.

So we then walk over to the TVs since THe Guy was there I was going to show him the ones that are on sale at Best Buy on Black Friday and get his opinion. He instead showed me what he liked. One was the wireless peripheral TV, then the new Samsung 8000s came into the conversation. These aren't LCD, but LED TV. They were BEAUTIFUL!!! One was nearly $500 off. The salesman did the talking, The Guy and I listened. He asked what I thought. I said "um, it's nice, it's a good deal," but didn't say much more. He asked if he should get it. He said if Jesus was shining down on him he would. We sat and prayed that Jesus would come through and they would have one in the back. In the meantime he was asking what he'd do with his old TV. I told him I'd take it. He asked if I was serious. I told him that I'd been looking- didn't he remember? He said it was a deal if I'd buy the wall mount for the TV that was $250. I said it was a done deal. He asked because he was having a hard time putting down the money for the TV when he didn't really have it and was trying to save it. I hope he didn't think I was pressuring him. I wasn't and hope he didn't think I was. Jesus was shining down on us and the TV was in stock. I was willing to pay more for the TV- The Guy could easily get $500+ for it, I told him I'd do $300 with tax, etc., but no. We pull the car up, unbox it, and load. It just fits.

We drive home, carry the TV in, then immediately take the old one down, put the new one in its place, then unscrew the mount that was there. The Guy and I mark and set up the new TV mount and screw it into the drywall- not the right way, but we did it somewhat right. Jeff shows up in the meantime, The Guy had tried to call him a couple times. Jeff, The Guy, and I plop down on the bed and watch Star Trek. He shows Jeff what Star Trek and another show looks like, and you could not tell they were not HD. They looked incredible. I can honestly say that was the best TV I've ever seen. The Guy sits in the middle of the bed and we watch most of Star Trek. The Guy says a little while later we didn't put the TV in right. Jeff somehow figured out how the dry wall brackets were supposed to work and clamp, so The Guy says we should probably try to fix it. He had joked it'd be bad if the TV fell out of the wall. It was already trying to apparently. We spend probably the next hour taking everything down, putting the things in right, and doing a little more TV watching. Jeff gets a call, goes in the office, and The Guy and I sit on the bed and watch.

Jeff takes off about 3. The Guy and I clean the TV up, put it in my car, and got the mount for it. The Guy had never even opened the box for the stand. We chat about random things while hanging around. I told him about me saying a few things around Linda that I think made her mad enough at me she'll stay away. I said the drinking word. I told him about going to the party at my coworkers on Friday night. I told him about the hugging thing. He thinks Eddy is gay. He tells me about a good conversation with Josh and that he saw that military guy Ben last night (a guy he was seeing about a year ago) who called him out of the blue. I leave about 4:15 because The Guy wants to take a nap. I hug and thank him, and we agree to call each other later this week.

So I'm here at home trying to set up the TV. The Guy couldn't find the remote, so I tried my universal Direct TV. It didn't work out, and so I'll get one tomorrow. I took it upon myself to throw out all the universal remotes when we got a DVR in the living room. We would lose those things so easily, then find them, and lose them again. We've yet to lose the remote in the living room yet, so there was no use for the universal deals. I do love the TV, although it makes my room feel more crowded and is probably WAAAAAAAAY too big for the room

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Max-imum drama

I called The Guy the other day after all of the stuff with Max to find out about what went on and tell him how awkward the whole thing with Max the night before was. He never called back. I had him on the phone today after he canceled on lunch with me. He wanted to take Josh to lunch for his birthday over me. Dang. I was really kind of bothered. Oh well.

I wanted to ask because as I was getting out of the shower to go hang out with my coworkers he instant messaged me. He was wanting to know why I hadn't messaged him all week, how me not messaging him was a sign I wasn't wanting to be in a relationship, and how he was so offended by me hanging out with his friends the other night. Um. Sorry? This led to a comparison between The Guy and I because we both ditched him. Again, I'm sorry, I was busy this week. The conversation continued and he brought up me making out with one of his friends at the bar. I confessed and took responsibility for saying that it was awkward with making out with one of his friends. It was inappropriate. I was being pressured, but it was not me making the move, but I did it. Oh well. I'm a big boy and can handle that I made a mistake. But then he goes on to accuse me of making him feel so left out, just like The Guy. I told him his ground rules were awkward where he said,
We talked in the club how there would be no jealousy/we would be comfortable socializing, meeting people, making out, whatever happens, and that we will still be friends. A little disclaimer for a wild night.

So now he's hurt when he said making out with other people when he was insistent that making out with other people would not be awkward? I told him that it was awkward if this was a DATE to set those kind of ground rules. A bar was probably not a good place for a DATE. He said we can hang out in the future AS FRIENDS. I said fine and apologized. I had to leave shortly after this little dramatic episode because I was meeting my coworkers. He accused me of ditching him again like The Guy, but also because I was snapping as I was being targeted and vulnerable. I told him no, I was meeting my coworkers at 9 and it was 8:43.

I told THe Guy about all the details, how he was suddenly coming up in the conversation, we were being compared to each other, and how I wasn't bothered, but confused. I did want to ask him about the whole Max thing. He told me they met up, did dinner, fucked each other, then saw each other at the bar that we were at last Saturday. He said he thinks he is acting out because he just lost so much weight and was always ignored, but now was getting looks, and the attention has went to his head, and he can do what he wants he thinks. He advised me to stay away. I plan to. He felt bad for me having to go through this and I told him it was ok. It was. I survived. I abided by the ground rules. I don't think I did too much wrong. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. Anyways, as The Guy pointed out he didn't mean to hurt me, it was just that he thought we were 2 young guys who would hit it off well together.

Edit: After talking with The Guy I'm in a mood this afternoon. I feel really bad. I attract such awful guys. Like borg_queen says, Carl (although not a date- a guy from school), Greg, stalker whom I have not heard from in MONTHS, thank god!, Maxon, and Chris. AY!!!! I'm exhausted with that list. What am I doing wrong? It is so discouraging at times. Why can't I meet a quality guy, one? I guess that's why I value and am thankful to have so many great close friends.

And last night with my coworkers was awesome. We went to a relatively new coworkers house to hang out. His name is Eddy and he is a frat boy. There was drinking. I stopped and bought some Malibu, which turned out being a hit. I just did 1 shot of Southern Comfort and a Dixie cup of vodka and orange juice. Joe was there, he reminded me so much of myself again, and he was drinking, which surprised everyone. Interesting stuff. Eddy exemplifies all those stories you hear about frat boys and I totally understand. He did 12 shots in under 10 minutes. He was all over Joe and I and hugging us, talking about giving real hugs, how Joe seemed uncomfortable with him sitting on his lap, so not comfortable with his sexuality, but I was. Hot tub. Balcony. Pissing off the balcony. Humping on the balcony. Rockband. Guitar. Humping the TV. That was my night. I am still trying to process it. I wasn't the one getting wild and crazy, but it was just bizarre.

So basically The Guy and I will do breakfast tomorrow morning. Breakfast is my least favorite meal of the day, but there's a really yummy place by his house. HOpefully I'm hungry.

Friday, November 20, 2009

No Vegas for me

I think I went the easy way out and told my cousin I couldn't go. 10 people in 2 hotel rooms, all drunk is just not my thing. I texted her this morning and said I didn't think I was going to make it because of a sinus headache and oncoming sinus infection. I had the awful migraine headache. The headache had been with me since about 2p.m. Thursday. She told me that she was sad and that I should try my best. I did. I don't mind going to Vegas, and it would have been fun had it not been 10 people to 2 rooms, 6 guys in 1, 4 girls in another.

I'd like to go to Vegas, wanted to go, and feel bad for not going. I just didn't want to go under the super cheap broke college student plan like she has in mind.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The coolest outfit

Here's another one of my supposed really cool outlets. I'd never worn my brown Banana Republic pants and my turquoise polo together. I'd always done navy blue jeans and turquoise, but enough of that. Also sporting my brown suede Vans. All the students with the canvas Vans casuals were totally jealous. I wore it today and got various comments from the students like:

"You have the coolest bubble gum shirt"
"You have more Vans than I do"
"Where do you get your shoes?"
"What colors of Vans do you own?"
"You match so well."
"You always wear skinny pants."
"Are those Vans skinnies?"
"What happened to your skinny Levis?"

So funny!!!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Got a lot of answers

Max instant messaged me last night about 6p.m. He asked what I was doing, what he was doing, and once we had established neither of us were busy, we wanted to go out. I suggested food. He was agreeable to that. Drinks and music suddenly came up, and the next thing you know we were going to karaoke at the gay bar in the city.

I drive over to his place in the next city over and find out he lives with a guy he works for doing handyman and landscaping type jobs. That explains his living situation. We drove to the bar and chatted about what we did the day, work, and sang country songs. He asked what I would sing at the bar and I joked Rascal Flatts. He said he'd do Toby Keith. He asked why I didn't have country music on. He put it on and then we broke out into singing Toby Keith's "It's A Little Too Late" as it came on the radio. We talked in the club how there would be no jealousy/we would be comfortable socializing, meeting people, making out, whatever happens, and that we will still be friends. A little disclaimer for a wild night.

We get to the bar and he knows a group of regulars as we come in. I had seen the older blond headed guy and his husband several times as they are regulars. They are having a beer bust and were serving tacos, so we helped ourselves to some, as well as a glass of Amberbush. We go outside and sit down at a table with 2 guys who were together and going through a difficult time. He convinced one of them to sing "Ain't Going Down Til The Son Comes Up" by Garth Brooks and Max sang "The Thunder Rolls" by Garth Brooks. He did a pretty good job. He has a great voice. He also sang a song from a musical, what song I'm not sure. Then the last song he sang was "Mud on the Tires" by Brad Paisley. WOW.

Max makes his rounds from the different groups he knows and I deduce there are at least 5-6 guys names who keep coming up that he has been with or knows. I meet the regulars again and we chat. I introduce myself. One of the guys is a hairstylist and asked where I went to school. He names several of his clients, all of whom I knew. It was interesting. I meet several others, a couple teachers, and stuff like that. We chatted about what we teach, stuff like that. Max continues going around being social and I kind of hang with regulars, which turned out to a lot of "Bump"ing and "Grind"ing. 6 of the guys in the group were the 6 guys you always see on Grindr, the iPhone app that tracks gay guys and their proximity to you. Well, let's just say I know for a fact 3 of them I had no interest in to begin with, and to see them in person was kind of nice. I downloaded the app Bump while we were there so that we could exchange numbers and info. That was little unnerving I was giving away my number so freely. I really don't think it is a big issue. A few more drinks, more chatting, lots of random convos. Convos about clothes, hair, and the hair stylist gave me some ideas about sideburns for my hair, which I'm not fond of mine. Lots of ass grabbing. Lots of random stuff, one of the bigger bear type guys was lifting all of us up, talking about how light we were, how you can pop someone's back so easily and stuff. I was lifted up probably a half dozen times. Lots of flirting with the entire group.

The patio closed and we made our way inside where the dance music was playing. The hairstylist is flirting with me, although he is married. He chats about my big feet, how cute and young I am, stuff like that. Soon we are all comparing foot sizes, some guy Doug is showing me his dick on his iPhone. Then we are discussing wardrobe. The hairstylist comes in and sneaks a few kisses from me, which was just shocking. I was not expecting that. He'd lean in and plant them on my lips. Then I'm dancing with him, one of the latino guys in the group, and the 3 of us are grinding on each other. Max was just kind of standing around watching, and that felt awkward because it was a "date." I ended up going out on the dance floor with Max, the hairstylist, and latino guy.

We hung around the bar until 11:15 when everyone started to leave. The hairstylist made me promise I'd text him today. Driving home I apologized for grabbing his dick- he was offended- but I was put on by the group to, and the group was out targeting him throughout the night to do that. He told me about how the guys we met were all good guys. He told me about his sisters and how they are always more successful than him. We talk about sarcasm. He told me he wanted to just be friends as we talked about how we both got that from the night. He keeps asking me what I know about him. He kept asking if The Guy was only a friend. I replied over and over that he was. I went to him for advice, and shared the example of my professor and the sexuality paper. I told him again for the 1000 time how The Guy asked if I thought he was hot, then told him to message me. I sort of pried asking what his beef was. We chat more and he tells me he doesn't like The Guy. The Guy really hurt him and pissed him off by walking on out sex when they first met and it damaged him so much where he lost 30 pounds. He didn't like The Guy's attitude and stuff like that. He asked what I thought of that, and I admitted I was shocked and bothered. He told me how he still hasn't had sex since then since he feels so insecure. I just told him I was sorry. We hugged and called it a night.

So here I am at home and I realize just being friends is fine. I don't want to be in a relationship because it may turn out one of those things where I say one thing to one person, do one thing with another, and that's not cool. I think both are good guys. I think Max is still figuring himself out, and I'm supportive of that, but I think that he is still in his "slutty" stage, as The Guy would term it, and that's ok, but I don't think he's really looking for a boyfriend.

Sunday, November 15, 2009


I met Max tonight. We had chatted last weekend about making out to Palm Springs, but I was busy with my paper. He was house sitting, then staying with a friend from college who lives out in Palm Springs, but graduated, and now has a 9-5 job. The friend, Jesse, was bringing him back to town tonight. He told me they would be coming through about 10 and we should meet at a gay bar in my city, not the one I usually go to, but another one I had been to once before.

We call each other about 9, then 10. We meet at 10 inside the bar. They are both standing along the wall as you enter. I introduce myself and we hug each other. Jesse reminded me of a guy from elementary-high school named Cody, except with facial hair, and these fake sexy square glasses. Max was cute as well, a blond, heavy build, and a very deep voice. Max is studying music and took professional lessons.

We chit chat about random stuff. We chat about The Guy, how he came into the story, how he was trying to set us up, how Max met him, stuff like that. The joke throughout the night was "it was my friend, The Guy," because Max deduced that my humor, my sarcasm, etc. is on par with The Guy's. He told me stories in the bar about some of his guys that he has met and his older sugar daddy, or something. We pointed out hot guys to each other. He told me he met The Guy on July 17. LOL. There was no sex involved with the sugar daddy, but he bought him everything. Hmmm. We talked about what I do for a living, school, stuff like that. Jesse almost went into education, decided to go into administration since that is where the big bucks are, and went in at the college level, but was very familiar with my program, so that gave us stuff to talk about.

About maybe 30 minutes into everything we went from being very cold to very hot. We went outside to cool down and walked into the coffee shop, then decided we would walk into the straight bar, but then decided coffee sounded good. We walked to Jesse's car and went to Starbucks. He told me about Max's drama and why he felt down, and was eating a chocolate cake in the back seat. His real father just died and he never got to meet him, and he just met his paternal grandma out in Palm Springs. His dad left him a heartbreaking note. It was a weird story. Still not sure about.

At Starbucks I hear how Jesse and Max met, stories about school, our little "signs." Max says too much and he does the zip across the lips. I sort of lunge toward you, like "what fool," which I joked I got from dealing with all my cholos at school. Jesse doesn't have a sign. Max sang, made strange faces, talked about random things like sexy station wagons. We had a strange convo with the barista at Starbucks who knew the club we went to because of our wristbands, and was friends with several people Max and Jesse were. Jesse asked at one point what I thought of Max, whether or not I was interested, and I said yes. He warned me he was too much to handle at times. I laughed and had him explain. He's really random, off the wall, boisterous.

Driving back Max sang along to a mix CD he had made that was playing in the car with his song from some musical he liked. He was singing it and then some religious song about "God is everywhere" was also on the CD, and he was singing that too in all different styles like broadway. He also made the statement that I will probably never hang out with him again, and how some people have the wrong vibes. Not sure about that.

We go back to my car and Jesse drops me off. We shake hands, then Max gets out and we hug. Driving home Max made faces at me as we drove next to each other on the freeway, flipped me off, and random stuff like that.

Um... and not telling The Guy about this as hard as it may be because I told him that I wouldn't tell "my friend, The Guy," any of this.

I felt like a 3rd wheel, but it wasn't bad I guess. Was he interested? Not sure. Was this just an awkward night? I think.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Hey baby let's go to Vegas

But unfortunately it wouldn't be with my baby. It would be with 9 other 23-25 year olds. My cousin asked me last night if I wanted to go to Vegas next Friday night-Sunday afternoon with 3 of her girlfriends, her boyfriend, and 2 other couples that my cousin and her boyfriend are friends with. We're all going to pile in to my cousin's little 2 door sports car, and her boyfriend's Ford Ranger twin cab. All of them could easily afford their own rooms, but rather than paying too much, they want to save money and have 10 people room in 1 room the first night. The room is only $50. The second night we'd have 2 rooms. Apparently we aren't going to spend much time in the room, so we don't need much. Um. I dunno. I don't want to be in a room with a bunch of people- many I barely know- and have them passed out for hours because they're drunk. Yeah, my cousin said that she wants me to go with her to BevMo on Thursday to buy $300 in booze. Her friend Laura who is going is getting her own room, and I am tempted to do the same. I don't want to seem stuck up or away from the group for doing that, but whatever, the whole rooming together is not my thing. I want to come and go as I please... explore... not lay around forced to be quiet because they are passed out. I also have to think ahead, "what if I find a hot guy?" So to go or not, and own room or not, those are the questions.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Bracelets are in...

... in the 7th and 8th grade right now. All of my students are wearing their handmade beaded bracelets.

Falling beads from breaking bracelets have never been so annoying when they get in a fight over whose bracelet is whose.

... My bracelet pretty much rocked and in my opinion was superior to all of theirs. They seemed to think it was cool it wrapped around my wrist.


I know... gay for wearing jewelry... but whatever... I'm metro... yeah...

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Copy machine at work

I love the copy machine at work. You never what color your documents will print. Sometimes they may print in black, others blue, others red or green. Personally I prefer the colors over the blah blah boring black.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

2 new guys

There is of courseMax that I mentioned the other day. We chatted for several hours over IM on Saturday. He is currently house sitting for a friend in Palm Springs. I'm very interested in him.

Then a new guy popped up on the radar- or not a new guy- an online friend more or less. For the time we'll call him Teacher Friend. He is nearly 30, 6'3'', 215lbs, awesome smile, etc. etc. He is a teacher at a local school that I met online about a year ago I want to say. We actually met at the local gay bar probably in March I think- I'm sure I posted this- just not sure where. I gave him a video cord for his video camera that would work in his, but not mine. We have continued chatting online since our first meet- the usual- what are you up to? How's work? How's school? Occasionally he has brought up things like he was horny, wishes someone was there. This past summer he was redoing his swimming pool and when it was finally done he was saying how great it would be to have someone to "share" it with, and I hinted that it would be nice to be there in it with him. He never took me up on the offer. He had a boyfriend and will have one until the end of the month when they break up. His boyfriend is moving to New York. They've been going out a year and about 4 months. Well, tonight, we were chatting about 3p.m. and he was telling me he was horny, of course I was. I go to dinner, get allergy shots, come home, and he is still horny. We chat, we talk about sex, then he says he is single at the end of the month. I asked what he meant. I asked if he was planning to break up with his boyfriend, and he told me he was moving to NY at the end of the month, and so is in a relationship until then. We got to chatting more- top or bottom, favorite things to do in the bed, turn ons, turn offs, you get the idea. Soon we both arrived at the conclusions we could both enjoy a good romp together. He asked if I would do it. I said I was down. He wrote back he was up. I told him all 7'' of me were up. The convo went on for several hours about sex, interests, and so on. He asked if I'd date him and I said yes. He said we'd have to meet up some more. So we talked for a long while and I'm not sure what will happen with that. I was thinking could I date him? He seems really monogamous - I know that I did drop hints this past summer about the pool, etc, or when horny just to see what he says, so I guess that's a good indicator he doesn't cheat. Maybe nothing will happen, and we'll just be friends.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Presentation went OK

Had my presentation tonight in that class I had the stink with the professor about. She basically let her views of homosexuality be known. She believed hypnotism could cure homosexuality. She gave me pamphlets for her hypnosis business rather than let me talk about the effects of homosexuality/lack of sexual identity knowledge on kids. Many issues with how the professor handled- conflict of interest, lack of professionalism, not making me, the student feel safe in the classroom.

Well, I fought and won. The professor had new Powerpoints created by another teacher who taught this course. I requested that there be someone else in the room to monitor tonight because the topic was sexuality, her views may get in the way, and so someone was there.

There were a couple of moments where I almost cringed. The new Powerpoints mention nothing about sexuality. They were instead about good hygiene because that was a small section of the sexuality chapter. I guess she decided to skip it all together because she couldn't get her views/promote her business. There was a girl who asked a question about homosexuality and if it was environment. The professor said it could be many things like environment, and she briefly explained the ideas. The monitor did stand up a few times when she did almost tread off topic. She had a new tone about homosexuality, and that was "it is what it is."

My presentation was on the importance of educators knowing about sexuality and how to handle it in their classroom
. I gave statistics like dropout rates for homosexuals, bullying, and things like that. Let's just say my teacher is a great example why i chose the topic I did.
- 26% of bullying done in the high school level is gay bullying
- gay students are 2/3 more likely than a straight student to commit suicide
- 30% of suicides are related to students struggling with their sexuality
- Every school shooting that has occurred in the US involves a student who was teased over their sexuality (Including Columbine!)
- 97% of students have heard the word gay, queer, faggot, etc. in school according to surveys
- 48% of students do not know where there teacher stands on homosexuality, and if they want to, do not feel comfortable talking with them
So basically I was advocating we train teachers so they know how to deal with these students. We need to watch our language, not toss around the word gay, etc.
That's what the issue was over... my professor was telling me to come out, it wasn't a big deal, I need to be hypnotized. Um. no.

So I got up and gave my presentation and I seriously kicked ass. This was probably 1 of my best presentations I've given. I was so prepared. I had lots to talk about. I had a few Keywords to talk about on my slides, but the majority came from my mind. I had the eye contact, everything. The professor had not one negative critique like she did for other students, like "you didn't cite sources," "you recited the book," "you just have ideas." I had everything, laid it out, and she just said it is important that we educate our kids so bad things can't happen like they can't die of suicide from being depressed.

At the end the professor told me I did a great job- whether it was sincere or not can be debated. We'll see when I get my grade... haha. It didn't seem the professor was sincere, but a few other students said they "had no clue," and their comments seemed genuine.

Saw this tonight in a restaurant

I'd sit at his table!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Reason #124 on why I like my car

35.4mpg at fill up

I usually average between 28 and 31.5. I usually do about 80% freeway driving.

I also will never use Arco/BP gas, which I believe is heavily watered down.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Doggie dick and more

The Guy called me about 12p.m. Friday, which was surprising. I had actually been planning to call him to see if he would proof my paper since I didn't necessarily want to show my mother who is my primary editor when it comes to my papers. My mom picks up on grammar mistakes I don't. So he said Jeff was coming over at 3 and they were grabbing some salmon from our favorite quick eat, healthy food place. He asked if I wanted to come over, I said yes, and he told me to come anytime.

I get to his house at 1:30 and he is on the phone with work or something because he didn't go in. He told me he was finally successful in setting up a Mac Mini as a backup drive where he can store all of his music and play iTunes movies from. He was very excited, and I was too, I think it is neat all the stuff he is always trying. We watch some show on his media server stationed in the office on Apple TV in the living room. It was a show about the 60s and Vietnam with several musical solos where characters would sing Beatles songs. It was about a guy from Liverpool who comes to the US to find his father, then winds up with a group of hippies, and then in the end is deported back to Liverpool. During the movie we made lots of comments about the movie- we sang, we made comments about the wardrobe, and other things. It was kind of a long movie that dragged on. (Does anyone know what it was called btw?).

Jeff still hadn't shown up by about 4p.m. and tuvimos mucho hambre. The Guy and I went to pick up the food ourselves. We also stopped at the bank so he could deposit some checks. The Guy tells me how he gave Josh the ultimatum. He has told him for a week that his phone has to be ported from The Guy's account or it will be turned off at 8a.m. tomorrow.

We arrive back and Jeff comes a few minutes later as we are piling food on our plates. They were out of potatoes so instead we have couscous, pasta salad, and a delicious spinach salad. The pasta was not my favorite. The couscous were quite good. The chicken was good. I decided to do chicken instead of salmon, and hit the spot. It was my first time having that. Jeff brings his dog, a little pomeranian or something, and he eats standing up at the counter in the kitchen talking on the phone. We try some random drink supplement for joints that Jeff brought and make small talk while Jeff is in the midst of chatting on the phone.

During this time it was funny that The Guy's new husky was laying with his head down on the tile floor and Jeff's dog would come over and raise his hind leg (because he is a male dog) and let The Guy's dog lick his little pomeranian penis. It was hilarious. We confirmed that there were 3 gay dogs in the house, and yes, all the dogs are males. It was so comical to watch. Later, as The Guy was getting ready to leave, he made a comment about that, "don't do anything I wouldn't do, like lift my hind leg and let the husky lick at my dick."

The Guy took off about 5 to go to the gym while Jeff and I stayed. Jeff played WOW and I worked on my paper for my class. The Guy texted once to make sure the dogs were ok. Then he called twice. Once Josh sent a text asking why The Guy had "changed" and why he was so "different," which really shut The Guy down. He was then sick to his stomach, nearly in tears, and we just reminded him he is doing the right thing and Josh is getting a free ride off of The Guy. While he was gone I chatted with Max, a guy he hooked up with once, and then saw at a bar in my city, and thinks he is my type. He told Max to add me last weekend on facebook and so we chatted. Seems like a cool closeted guy who goes to college in my city.

Jeff took off about 8:30 and The Guy arrived back at 8:35. He told me how worried he was about leaving the dogs alone. He told me about what he texted Josh and how Josh was totally avoiding everything. Josh just texted saying Jeff was behind this. The Guy again just laid out how Josh is distant and there is no reason to continue their friendship.

The Guy and I had been talking about TVs because I finally have the money to buy one I want I plan to do so. I showed him a couple I had in mind. He suggested we go to Best Buy. The Guy found a couple he wanted. He found a $2000 LG for his bedroom to upgrade that one, and was close to, but found it for $1600 on Amazon. We talked to a guy in the home theater department and he showed me some TVs that were good for the price and I took a picture of their price tag so I know what I want. I will wait until probably around Christmas when the prices may go down even more. I also want to see the Black Friday ads. The Guy asked 3-4 times if I thought he should buy the TV and he had told me earlier in the evening my job was to say NO because he is trying to save more, although he is not doing a good job with it.

While at Best Buy Josh was texting that it was past 9p.m. and he didn't know where the AT&T store was, and it was closed, so The Guy texted him he has until the weekend is over and that's it. Hopefully that stays true.

The Guy and I went back to his place and talked about random little things. I told him Max had been messaging me and we talked about random things. The Guy asked if he was free, and the thing that went to my mind was he would invite him over, threesome, you get the idea. We also talked about Linda. I told him everything I just said in my previous post, and he was amused, and thought I was doing pretty good avoiding her. We talked about cleaning. He told me how he loves Jeff, but everytime he comes over Jeff leaves a trail. In The Guy's sink Jeff left a plate half full of food, which I would never do, The Guy pointed out. He said that he thinks how our moms teach us to clean shows a lot about how we do things and pick up after ourselves. Though The Guy may not always do it, he sees a ton of dirt in his place that others may not. He said I probably do too because my mom is a home ec teacher and she has probably drilled me over and over about how to clean. I admitted she had. Any holiday used to be cleaning day. The Guy showed me his dirty base boards, the corners and crevices in his walls, the tops of surfaces in the kitchen, the blinds, and all of the areas with tons of dirt. We agreed we both know how to clean. We talked about how The Guy is using the pet hotel again, and how he trusts me over all of his friends to pet sit, but 3 days with new pets is difficult, plus I am still forgiving him, so he hasn't earned any dog sitting points with me. I joked that it was fine if he had asked because we are speaking again, but also for me it is close to work. It is 12 minutes from work as opposed to 30-45.

The Guy wanted to get some sleep about 10, so I wished him a good trip, and took off.

Friday, November 6, 2009


Linda is still being motherly to me. She has told my mom I'm like a son to her, she wants to be like a mom to me, and therefore does everything for me.

She said everyone at school (except for the teachers) think that I am her son. The kids see me with her constantly, some of them do call me her last name. All of this happened because my mom was transferred and some of the 7th graders don't remember my mom.

Everytime I sub at work she either gives me money to go buy lunch, or if we have a common prep, we rush down there for a quick lunch.

Everytime we go out, she insists on treating me, even when I'm with my mom and her.

On days she knows I'm going to be working, like Thursday morning, she called me up on my way to school to see that I was getting there, I was safe, and the fog wasn't bad. I only know because I listened to the voicemail message.

On another morning she called me at 6:57 to see where I was because she knew she wasn't going to be at school to do her duty at 7:10 and wanted to know if I could cover for her.

She texts me 3-4 times a week to see that everything is going ok and what the family is up to. She always asks if I received her texts. I usually don't respond. She can call my mom if she wants to talk and needs a friend.

She calls me constantly to tell me about something going on at the school just like she did my mom last year. She always wants to make sure I get home safe and insists I call her.

She insists I text her when I sub for her and let her know how the day went. I'm not texting my sub note. I don't do text like she does. She insists on perfectly punctuated texts, and can only receive 140 character texts. Sorry.

Always insists that I come into her room to say hello in the morning, or goodbye at the end of the day. Saying goodbye can take an hour. I don't want to be at school that late, so I try to make the goodbyes as short and sweet as can be, and have plans so that I can't stay around late.

Whenever I walk past her classroom she always insists on saying hi to me, and her students to do the same.

If I'm subbing in a classroom a few doors down from her, or even all the way down the hallway she stands outside at the beginning of each period and waves to me. If I happen to not see it, I hear about it later. That's a bit much.

I don't respond to every text of course and every phone call. I really limit myself with her. She is just too motherly. Her conversations drag on for hours, and she is not my best friend.

I do have to say that I do enjoy working at the school with her. She is one of the few bright spots ;-\ I guess I just have to take the good with the bad as cliche as that sounds.


I get what I want

A quick update on the ordeal with my teacher. I got a call from the school last night and they said they were disturbed about several things. I can only imagine what the things were. I have a pretty good idea. Anyways, they asked me flat out "what do I want?"

First they are making my professor follow off of another teacher's Powerpoint slides because of the content on hers.

I asked that I have someone in the room on Monday night when I'm doing my presentation to make sure that things go smoothly and I'm not outed. Secondly I want to have my paper read by someone else if I feel the grade from the professor is questionable.

I am calling the school this morning to let them know.

Pretty awesome they were so responsive. I want to say thanks to JC for letting me run my ideas by him as to what I want.

Yeah, you don't mess with me. :)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I'm a fighter

I have been chatting with The Guy the past couple days. Told him yesterday about my professor. Told him about her last night. He was as floored as I was as to what happened- she did some things I didn't even mention in my blog that will probably have her banished from the university. This morning I had 3 emails fired off to administration at my school about the incident last night. Just received a quick response the incident is being looked in to. Anyways, The Guy made an excellent point, and it is so true; something that I know about myself:

People may try to take advantage of me or push something over on me because I appear to be the quiet and shy one, but they do not know me. When they finally find out about me they see that I am a fighter and I will do everything within my power to make sure something is right, I become loud, and I fight back, they realize their mistake.

So true...

And if I were a DJ on 1043 MYFM this song would be playing in the background throughout all of this... lol

Monday, November 2, 2009

My teacher's agenda

In response to my last post after taking time to think about what the teacher was asking (me to come out) and what I was writing about I had serious issues. Why? It is wrong to make someone come out when they aren't comfortable. A teacher is supposed to foster a positive learning environment where everyone feels comfortable. It is not essential to my presentation- contrary to what my teacher says I can be convincing even if I am not gay. It is about building a good case and evidence- an important skill that comes from good research. I can use personal experiences and things I have seen inside the classroom- that is firsthand experience. I can get around it without having to come out. The teacher told me 20-30% of my paper/presentation needs to be firsthand evidence, and I can come up with that without coming out.

Last but not least, perhaps the most important reason. My teacher has an agenda- after viewing her website after receiving a couple rather rude emails from her I realized she is pushing an agenda. She is promoting her hypnosis business. She had fliers tonight that stated that. She believes in hypnosis for gays- she must be one who doesn't believe that it is something you are born with or biological factors. So that's something... she basically said coming out is not a big deal...

Anyways, she talked to me tonight and I told her that I will do it this way, I plan to mention this, I have the research, my argument will make sense, and if I'm graded solely on that there will be no problems. She seemed to somewhat agree.

I do plan to alert the administration there may be some issues with the grading. I also plan to write out in an e-mail to this professor that if I am outed during my presentation she can expect that I will be alerting administration.

You do not piss me off.

Oh, and my mom asked how my paper was coming along. I told her "fine if you don't ask about what the teacher said, and her agenda." She is puzzled, but I think she is suspecting. I also said "it's fine, but if we have an issue, administration will be finding out," and haven't elaborated. I hate doing that.

On another note I wanted to say I enjoyed grabbing lunch and catching up again with James over at Just Me. I enjoyed your company, buddy. Great guy, check him out.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Come out to the class!

I'm taking a stupid psychology class for my credential. We have to do a stupid 10 page/15 minute presentation on an issue. I happened to get adolescent sexuality. I can talk about anything in that spectrum. I can't talk about media since someone else is doing that. I can talk about everything being more sexualized today- although that tiptoes on the media topic. I can talk about kids engaging in sexual behavior at a younger/older age/subgroups and when children are having sex. Lots of interesting stats. I can talk about why kids choose to have sex, etc.

There is a section in the book on "minority sexual behavior," or gay and lesbian attitudes toward sexuality. Well, this is a topic I studied extensively in a bio class in college a few years back and I still have all the handouts the professor had and the textbook. I actually did a presentation on the factors that are said to possibly influence sexuality.

Here are the only requirements I need in my paper-
- Hypothesis
- Statement of problem with issues surrounding the problem (biological, psychological, and social factors)
- Research to back up your findings and opinions
- Personal experiences
- Opinions
- Social policy recommendations to address the issue with research to back it up

Ok- I was thinking how can I incorporate this with the research I have from that presentation I did in undergrad/textbook?

RESEARCH ON SEXUALITY Well, there's a lot that goes in to possibly determining sexuality and all the debates about how sexuality comes about (that addresses the biological, psychological, and social factors). There was a twin study in Australia that showed in fraternal twins both weren't gay, but that wasn't the case with identical twins. There are the biological things- x-chromosome having a special marker, index finger sizes, hypothalamus sizes in gay men. I can bring in Kinsey and how sexuality is on a scale and varied (so I'm drawing in again stuff the book doesn't talk about). I can talk about environmental factors- no proof a childhood of abuse makes someone gay, having gay parents doesn't make you gay, etc. I can talk about those questions people ask like "what makes you straight?" I dunno...

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE I can talk about rates of homosexuality- between 2 and 10% of the population and use my high school as an example. I know for a fact thanks to facebook nearly 10% of my graduating class in high school was gay. Did most of these people announce it in high school? No.

My social policy recommendation: More funding is needed to teach kids that being bisexual, gay, lesbian, whatever is acceptable. LGBT isn't enough because of stigmatizations and the kids who really need it (maybe me?) would never have gone. Often laughed at, so if we make the teaching of sexuality and explain how it is possibly not a choice to be gay it would help? .......................... of course it isn't easy because some areas are so conservative, parents wanting their kids to opt out of this teaching, etc. etc.................. so I'm not sure what to say here.......... maybe use personal experience about how maybe I wouldn't have been in my late teens like 19 or 20 before I finally discovered it was ok?

So my hypothesis I'm thinking is we need more money to education children about sexuality. I can talk about how there is so much intolerance and it comes from an early age and use examples like Larry King, the 15 year old boy in Ventura County who was shot for being gay. I can talk about how homosexuality is mocked and made fun of in so many aspects. My content area is a little weak, so that's where I'm still really looking for ideas.

And of course I had to email my professor with my ideas and here's what she told me...

Focus a little. what about starting with "What is's like being gay during adolescence, from a personal perspective, and point to the research that either backs up your feelings and thoughts or contradicts them. Its always best to show both sides to an argument.
Ask yourself these questions: What would have been helpful to you during that time? Is it just education for students, or do we need to educate parents through PTA meetings.
How about out religious leaders?
Will you include lesbians, cross gender, trans-sexuals etc.

... I didn't say I was gay... it was implied obviously...

So I'm writing a paper in which I come up to 20 kids in my class? Guess mom isn't seeing that paper to proof it. I am not sure I want to do that. I know that since I did get this topic if I were able to use the gay/straight debate I have much of the groundwork laid, but finding the content/using personal examples about how sexuality/tolerance toward being gay can be ok is the difficult part.

So I need research and I guess I need... I dunno

Edit: Ok... thought about it... what do I want to prove and advocate for is my big question? GSA? Eh... not so much... I haven't found much support about their benefit other than in 2 magazines. Tolerance? Yes. But um... she wants some policy issue that I have to be passionate about. So money for this to be taught as a part of a comprehensive sex program? I guess I need journal articles to support that? No sé.

I'm open to ideas..... feel free to comment...

My new favorite song

I'm gaga over Lady Gaga's new song. I want to go see her in LA in December. Gonzo wants to go conmigo y espero que ella puede.

I do have to say I'm not sure what is going on in the video. Confusingness.