Monday, July 30, 2007

We'll see what happens...

I was sick Saturday night. I will spare you the details, but it wasn't pretty. I was thinking when I was laying in bed that I should just come out now... it was the perfect time when everyone was sympathetic toward me being sick, but also when you're sick nobody can be mad/upset at you.

Well, I leave for Mississippi tommorow. Not sure I get to see my cousin's in OKC... will know tonight. I don't think I'll come out to my friend or anything drastic like that, but we'll see. I am sure that we'll have some talks about sexuality/girlfriends, etc. but I am not planning on anything. I will update the blog when I can. I'm excited though... getting to go to New Orleans, going canoeing, the southern beaches, hanging out with my friend and his family, it should be fun.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

We didn't get much WOW done...

So I went over to The Guy's house about 5 and we were going to play WOW. When I got there, The Guy was in a battle with some character on WOW. We played for about 20 minutes and I started a new character that will have less chance of dying.

Then The Guy asked if I'd help him set up his entertainment system in the office. I said sure. The Guy got some new speakers to put in there and wanted to put them up as well as put a new receiver in there. That meant going to Best Buy and Circuit City to look at them.

Before going to Circuit City, we were in The Guy's room and I was helping him with the entertainment center in there. My mom had just called asking me to call a friend of mine for something. As I was making the phone call, The Guy came up and started groping my crotch area. Before I knew it, he was sucking me off as I was making the phone call and I was just standing there. It was very hot and hard to stop moaning etc. during the phone call. I eventually hung up instead of waiting for my friend's voicemail to kick in. The Guy went in to take a shower and I laid on his bed just as he left me with my pants unzipped laying there on the bed.

The Guy was surprised I was there like that I think, but also excited, so he came over, got on top of me, kissed me, then went back to sucking me off and I sucked him. We went about this for 10 minutes or so, then he said we had to get to Best Buy before his friends Justin, Johnathan, and Jeff (I think was his name) came over. He said we'd have to finish what we started later.

At Best Buy there was a really tall Asian guy with black square rim glasses, about 6' helping us, dark hair done in a mohawk. He was pretty hot and had a hot voice. Anyways, the kid was helping us out and we played around with the home theater systems and stuff, then when they didn't have the receiver The Guy wanted we left.

Got back to his house about 9 and his friends arrived soon after. Justin and John were not what I had pictured, both were nice guys, and looked like the gaming type I guess you could say... those guys who sit in front of the computer all day. They were very feminent though. That's the best I can describe them. Their friend Johnathan was a gay Asian guy and he is probably a few years older than me, yet looks like he has had a lot of cosmetic face work done to look more feminine. I don't know... I'm just observing. Found out that The Guy's dad has a big company with 5-6 offices and The Guy is in charge of maintaining the computers and networks, so that was interesting. His dad's entire office is a Mac office.

Afterward, I helped The Guy with the speakers and everything in his office. We got new speaker wiring and stuff like that from his bedroom and sat it up.

After this, we went to the bedroom to finish what we had started. Then we took a shower to clean up because it was "pretty amazing" according to The Guy.

Then about 11:15 we went to look at more receivers and compare on etc. The Guy ended up ordering one we saw at Circuit City online from Amazon since it was $200.00 cheaper. After ordering, we debated about playing more WOW since we didn't get much WOW done, but decided we were both a bit tired. Good. I was.

I left at a more decent hour than in recent times, about 12:00a.m. We stood around watching The Guy's new washer before we left. Best Buy did not set up the dryer right, therefore they have to come back and do that. His new washer has an LCD screen on it, lots of cool buttons, stuff like that, so we watched it to see if it was washing all the clothes because there was almost no water in the thing it didn't look like it.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Guys I go for...

After JR's recent post, I decided that I would post some pics of guys who are my type...

Matthew Perry

Pianist Jim Brickman

Jake Gyllenhaal

Nick Lachey from 98 Degrees/was married to Jessica Simpson

Couldn't think of many younger guys other than Nick Lachey/Jake Gyllenhaal that spark my interest... but there will probably be more to come...

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Sexual comments

Thanks guys for all the feedback on the last post. I really appreciate it!!!

Well, the other night my mom and I were talking about when I got home from The Guy's house (my friend Steve as I told my parents). My dad asked who I was out with so late. I said Steve. He said, "oh, Steve, he doesn't really turn me on." I think to myself gee, that's good to know, are you suggesting that he turns me on? Should I have said, "well, he turns me on?"

I went out with my friend Mike last night. He just called, asked what I was doing, and I told him on my way to Kaiser. He asked if he minded if he tagged along and we could hit the mall. Sounded good... it makes going to Kaiser more bearable. Mike bought a couple video games at Game Stop. My dad then said, "well, you've been GOING OUT with Mike and Steve lately."

My mom has also made a couple comments about me going out with Steve lately, but I don't know. I think my dad is more suspecting than my mom. But that she has made a couple comments that I can't recall, which makes me wonder if they suspect.

And this song came to mind when thinking about me potentially outing myself... "I'm a Hazard to Myself (Don't Let Me Get Me)" by going out with Mike and Steve so much...

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Reading for the plane...

Since I'm leaving for MS next week, I'm planning to raid Borders tommorow night for reading material. I already bought The Velvet Rage as recommended by Creative Thinker. I am not a reader to begin with- after reading all the time in school, reading is the last thing I want to do. I know however, that since I'm going to be on a plane and with people I don't know, plus a lot of time to do nothing on the plane I might as well read. Plus I have a couple long layovers. So I want 2-3 books I can read and a couple alternates if one is not engaging enough for me or I finish one and I run out of things to do. I typically like biographies, so The Confession sounds good about the former governor of NJ. But I am not wanting to pick up a ton of books on the subject of sexuality and then risk having someone like my friend or anyone in my family see them. I plan to keep the books in my carryon bag and not advertise them, but you know, paranoia. Also don't want a bunch of books sitting around I haven't read or won't read. So I just did a quick search on Amazon and came up with a couple books I might check out. Has anyone read one on sexuality that was really enticing? I don't know why I'm interested in reading about this suddenly, but why not? Here are a couple things I'm thinking about... Coming Out of Shame and Coming Out Everyday. Any thoughts? Any good reads about sexuality/coming out worth checking out?

Conflicted... friendship... gifts... money

Hey guys... I just got home from The Guy's house and wanted to flush this out since it has been bothering me since it happened.

Went over to his house about 6 after I went to the gym. We played Warcraft for about an hour and a half. I did pretty well today.

The Guy wanted a break about this time, so he says he is going to do a marathon cleaning of the house. His dryer just broke so he has tons of clothes laying around and is going to go buy a new dryer. He throws stuff away from the refrigerator, the floor, the counters, and other places. Then The Guy gets back to the kitchen and has his old entertainment center with a DVD player sitting on it, and his old surround sound speakers.

The Guy asks me if I wanted his speakers or entertainment center stand. I said no, we're moving out and I don't really need extra furniture, etc. The Guy then asks me if I need a DVD player. I said no, I have one at home. He says that he knows I'll be watching more DVDs at my grandma's house and stuff. Then he asks what kind and I said I had no clue. It is a Sylvania and I know it now since I'm looking at it. Then The Guy said that I definitely needed something better since I didn't remember the brand. The Guy then proceeds to hand me his Denon DVD player. A DENON... that means expensive... they're good quality though. He just bought a new $750 one, so I'm sure this one costs about that price.

I try to refuse and The Guy says no, don't worry. I said yes, I do worry. I said that I know he has spent a lot on this stuff and whatnot, so I feel bad taking it from him. I said I have no problem paying him for it and was about to walk out and get my checkbook. I told The Guy that I really felt bad about this because I know that it is such a good quality and we're not going out or anything, we're just friends. He said that's exactly it, he was hurt by the comment I made about paying him for the DVD player. He said that he doesn't like it that I said that because he likes to see friendship where if you do something for a friend, they'll do something to help you. He doesn't want our friendship to be bound by money. He wants it to be a total reciprocity thing going on- you do something for me and I'll do something for you. He doesn't want to feel bad about asking for something if he ever needs help. The thing is though, I know he has his money, his parents, AND sister's money... do I ever see him needing help in any way? No.

With my friends we don't do much other than take each other out to lunch and offer to pay for another person, etc. if they have done a favor for us, but to me this thing with The Guy seems on a different level. Maybe I'm wrong...

I will admit I haven't done much to deserve such a gift. It is not that I don't want to, but there are factors like family that prevent me from being as generous as he is. I live at home, so I don't have a place we can hang, so I can't spend my money, etc. to make food for us or have him over. I was thinking coming home that from now on I'll call him when I'm on my way over and ask if he is hungry and offer to pick something up, therefore I'll be paying for more. I have bought ice cream topping, ice cream, and 6 Aquafina water bottles in the past couple weeks just out of me being friendly. That's not a lot, I'll admit it. In comparison with The Guy he always insists on ordering takeout and having a pizza delivered etc. and then gives his credit card number, so when the food gets there I can't pay, though I try because, well I feel it is the right thing to do afterall, he is the one having me over. The Guy has even offered to pay for my gas to come over and see him, since he can't come see me. You get the idea, I don't do much, despite the fact I would like to. I did a few weeks back buy him a card that I saw at the grocery store because it did say what I wanted- "thanks for being there" and in it I thanked him for being there for me, thank you for being a friend, told him I was glad I met him, and I put a $25 iTunes gift card in there, which he tried to give me back because he felt bad taking it. I told him do not worry, I just really wanted to thank him and I did. I have also helped him set up his entertainment center, paint his kitchen, and little things like that. I am taking his coins to be cashed in at the bank since mine does it for free.

Anyways, I sat the DVD player on the counter and said I'd pick it up when I leave (and had no intention of doing that). The Guy did more cleaning and when I was in the bathroom he took my keys, went out to my car and put the DVD player in my car. I was wearing my gym shorts and they didn't have pockets so my cell phone and keys were on the counter. When he got back I just asked him if he was sure about me taking the DVD player. He said it would just get thrown out otherwise (and yes, I know with him it would). I just said that I feel bad that he has done so much for me and I've done so little. He just hugged me, which didn't make me feel all that much better. I don't want to be reliant on him. I don't want him to think I'm being a moocher and trying to get stuff off of him. I don't want him to feel like he has to do this for me. If this were a cheap $50 DVD player I might not have felt so bad.

I know he showers his other friends in gifts/does big things for them like that. He gave his friend who was staying with him a few months back storage containers for clothes that cost in excess of $100, then gave him a random $100 to help him find an apartment. The other night he was offering to buy Aaron a laptop. He lets another friend use his ATM card for gas. I never hear what his friends do for him other than little things like Aaron (I think it was) who helped him paint his cabinets in his kitchen or clean up around his house.

Well, after cleaning we played more Warcraft. Then about 9p.m. The Guy made dinner. He cooked for us... and what did he cook? Filet mignon. I didn't make a fuss that I know those are expensive even though he buys them in bulk off the internet from Amazon. They were delicious and he put a good seasoning on them.

We sit around and watch a little TV and talk about washers and dryers just because he was whining about his not working. Then we talked about a whole bunch of other random things. I was talking about things I liked in him like his looks, sense of humor, his caring nature, etc.

At 11p.m. we decided to go to Ralphs. The Guy is on a new diet where you can only eat fish, chicken, and vegetables. He bought tons of vegetables for his diet because he is going to throw them together to make broth. He bought $60 in vegetables for a diet he is going to try for a day that is supposed to cleanse the body. It was funny the manager checked us out and didn't know what half of the vegetables were, which took forever to check us out. When we got back to the condo we watched more TV, then I called it a night.

So now I'm here conflicted... what do I do? Just accept the gift, accept that it was apart of our friendship, be glad I met him? What do I do in return? I know that we have a friendship and I don't want to lose that, but I feel like I'm not giving everything I could. So now that I have this out of my system.

I do plan to send The Guy a nice e-mail tommorow and call him again to thank him. I am just going to say something along the lines of thank you for the dvd player, being so caring, how I appreciate him, but I don't know.... I'm conflicted. I guess it all boils down to the DVD player costs so much, anyways I need sleep.

What I plan to e-mail the guy...
I just wanted to say thanks again for the DVD player. I really appreciate it. Thanks for everything you do for me. I am glad that I have met you and glad that we are friends. If there is anything you ever need/want from me, please don't hesitate to ask. I enjoy hanging out with you for because you're funny, smart, sexy, totally random, and like you say you never know what will happen when you go over to your house.
Should I even do this? Is this a bit cheesy? I dunno... I'm at a loss... do I need to do all of this?

Sunday, July 22, 2007


Well, I'm not addicted to WOW. I am frustrated by the game. I keep dying. I keep running out of ammo. I keep having to stop to kill EVERYTHING in my path. I am frustrated I am not on level 10 yet. I'm frustrated that The Guy just makes fun of me when I whine and complain. I'm frustrated he won't help me. Ok, there's my rant.

So I went over to his place about 3 today. We played WOW for a while. We played WOW for a while and then ordered Thai for dinner. I'm not sure what I ordered- The Guy told me to order it and I did. It was good though. We played for a while after dinner.

Soon after dinner I got a headache. I felt really bad and really quickly. I laid down and fell asleep on the couch for a few minutes- which is unusual. I cannot sleep just anywhere. I woke up and The Guy realized I didn't feel well. He told me to go get Advil out of the kitchen. He was joking around that I was sick and sad that he wasn't in a sexual mood. He said he'll try to be next time, but the lipozap zapped his sex drive. Anyways, I went back and sat on the couch. The Guy said I should come up to him and he'd hold me until I felt better. I laid there in his arms for about 2 hours as he played WOW and held/kissed my forehead randomly. It was nice and that felt good/reassuring. I left about 10, though I planned to leave about 8. I had a headache though, and while I could have driven home and would have been fine it felt good to be there and be with him.

This is totally shifting ideas, but it is too funny to not mention. My mom walked in my room as I was typing this and said "it smells like beer in here." I laugh and say I don't know. She leaves the room and goes back to the bathroom to run her bath water. She comes in again and says "it smells like a brewery." I laugh even harder. My mom then playfully asks if I had been drinking tonight and I said no. She asks if I took the beer out of the refrigerator that she was planning to use for beer biscuits or shrimp. I said I was a little thirsty. She asks what I got to spray that smelled bad (she doesn't like the smell of beer). I said I sprayed Oust about 12 hours earlier before we closed my room off and put the air filter on. So that must be it... Oust Outdoor Scent Air Sanitizer smells like beer. Anyways, as I was coming to the paragraph above my sister walks in my room and says "Mike's room smells like beer." My sister was in her room prior to this and was not around when my mom said anything. Anyways, my sister said it loud enough to wake my dad up and have him come in and investigate. My dad just said he didn't smell anything. Personally, I smell an underlying sweet scent to the room- nothing girly, but it has a sweet scent to it like maybe Oust/Lysol after it has been sprayed and the smell has mostly dissipated; not like beer. I don't like the smell of Lysol/Oust, but I shall deal with that later. Well, I'm going to get back to sipping my ice cold beer and then get to bed. j/k!


I'm paranoid. Ok... so I've been going over to The Guy's house for the past 3-4 nights in a row. I've been telling my parents I'm going to go play Warcraft with my friend Steve. I've got home at 1a.m. or later most nights. My parents really don't care anymore what I do, which has really changed over the past couple months. My mom however is again making comments/questioning, "are you going out tonight?" "I think you're showering now because you're seeing someone tonight." "I think someone is going to be out all night again and is just not telling us." My excuse everytime as I said is that I'm going over to Steve's to play Warcraft, which is true, and is no lie. So here's one of the things... my mom seems more suspicious about what I'm doing/getting home so late, like maybe I'm doing stuff I shouldn't be (sex, etc.) So my thinking is she may be more suspicious Steve and I are doing things/going out. I've been thinking what if my mom asks if I'm going out with Steve or if I like Steve in that way or something, what do I do? Should I just deny it, shrug it off, or admit it? I don't know- I've posted my motives before for not coming out (mom is very religious, all the family issues going on now, mom is not ok with a lot of stuff on TV when it comes to gay guys/gay marriage).

So yesterday our house was being fumigated because my mom swore she felt bugs crawling everywhere. So my dad turned off the gas, sat bug bombs about 3:30. I called The Guy and he said I should come over and we could play Warcraft. We played for a couple hours, ate some pizza, then back to playing. About 7:30 I was becoming so frustrated with Warcraft because I died sooooooooo many times. The Guy said that we should get me a Warcraft guide, so we went to Best Buy, Circuit City, and Target in search of one. NOBODY had them. We did have fun in the car making random jokes. We get back to The Guy's house and play some more.

About 10p.m., The Guy's brother shows up. His brother is not as hot as The Guy. His brother is about 25 I'd guess. The Guy and his brother look NOTHING alike. The Guy as I said in my previous post was described by Aaron as looking like Adam Sandler. His brother has Dennis Quaid hair, but is thinner. His brother wore pretty baggy jeans, Nike's, and a t-shirt. His brother is straight I think- I did meet his ex a few months back when she spent the night at The Guy's house. His brother was there to pick up a DJ system The Guy bought for him. We played around for it for a while testing out the mic etc. His brother sang, so apparently he is a musician and DJ. His brother sang "Mack the Knife," and a couple other songs. He has a great voice. The Guy does too. They're very lucky.

This is random, but I know when I'm over at The Guy's house and one of us goes to the bathroom, we never close the door. I happened to be standing in the kitchen with The Guy when his brother goes to the bathroom. His brother didn't close the door either, which surprised me. He just stood there taking a piss for everyone to see. I was kind of surprised- even with me there, someone who he had just met 10-15 minutes earlier.

We played until 1:00a.m. when I was so frustrated I said screw it. Seriously the game is pissing me off. I don't find it fun. I told The Guy that. So what did he do? Invite me to play this afternoon. We shall see...

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Warcraft again and a friend

Not addicted to Warcraft yet. I don't plan on becoming. I'm trying my hardest not to. Anyways, I said I'd play The Guy last night from my house and he'd play from his. About 3 minutes after I logged in, about 8:10p.m., he asked if I wanted to come over since he had pizza on the way. I thought why not and went over. We sat on the couch and ate some steak and onion pizza and talked. It was good. We played Warcraft in the meantime.

About 11:00 a friend of The Guy's called and asked to come over. The Guy frantically cleaned up the house since this guy can't stand a dirty place. Then he introduced me to the friend. We sat playing Warcraft for a few minutes more and the friend, Aaron was getting nervous and wanted to tell The Guy something. He asked if I minded if they took a walk and I said no.

Aaron is 19 (born in December 1987 and was trying to figure out how I was older than him... I had to make fun of him for that). HOT GUY! He is latino, preppy look going on, nice face, hair, eyebrows, the whole package. So when he got back we made smalltalk on the couch about what I do, what he does, stuff like that.

Then The Guy said Aaron has to tell me about his date he just had, but he didn't want to, so The Guy told me. He was on a date with a latino guy who was 35. The guy he was on a date with said during the date he had 3 boyfriends and bragged about all of his money. He gave Aaron a gold necklace that said "baby" on the first date. He was trying to stop the whole date and everything because the guy had 3 boyfriends. The guy then kept text messaging him and that's why he wanted advice from The Guy.

The Guy said just be firm and say "we're at different stages in our life, have a nice life." Aaron wanted to kill his date with kindness, and I pointed out no, just say you're not interested. This went on for 20 minutes and The Guy said he is trying to make Aaron feel guilty and play with his mind to get him to sleep with him. Finally Aaron texted "STOP" and the guy sent a few more texts and stopped.

The Guy was the one who met Aaron- he responded to his Yahoo personal. I knew Aaron looked familiar. I saw his pics on there before. Then The Guy said they first met and saw Spiderman 3 together. Aaron told The Guy he looked like Adam Sandler, which NOOO he doesn't and I came to The Guy's defense there, because he doesn't.

Aaron didn't want to play Warcraft because he didn't have a laptop and didn't want to go in the office to play. Then Aaron started asking me about my laptop etc. Then The Guy said that he'd buy Aaron one because he could use it in school, stuff like that. Aaron was quick to say no, don't spend money on me. That's one of my biggest things with The Guy- to keep my mouth shut about wanting things or saying I like things... chances are he'll buy them for you, which is nice, but I don't want to be reliant on him/take advantage and whatnot. A couple weeks ago when The Guy bought his surround sound speakers and wanted the stands immediately since the wall mountings wouldn't work asked if I would go to Best Buy with him. I said sure, then he said I'll give you the stands once I get the wall mountings. First I'm like you can't wait a day or two to get wall mountings, you need the stands now? That was funny to me. But then I said I had no use for the stands since I don't have any speakers to put on them. The Guy said "well, we're going to have to change that and said next time we go to Best Buy I'll get you some." I said NOOOO, I don't need any, plus since we're moving out and everything, they wouldn't get any use.

So finally Aaron gets an account and we play Warcraft for an hour or so more. Then we watch Entertainment Tonight and talk about the entertainment news, which drove The Guy crazy. I asked what would you call it besides entertainment news- he was disturbed by the fact they had it news. He couldn't come up with another answer.

Anyways, I left about 1:30 and we're going to hang out and play more Warcraft today over at his house, since it is more fun in person. Its fun to argue with The Guy while playing that because he knows the game so well and can tell a newbie everything to do and so when I don't do as he wanted we started to argue. Its all in fun though!

Coming home I was not happy. THERE WAS CONSTRUCTION EVERYWHERE. The freeway was shut down- an entire freeway because of construction. I had to take surface streets to transition to another freeway. Then there was construction on that freeway and it was down to 1 lane. Then coming home on the highway I live off of, there was a head-on accident in the canyon. There was only 1 lane to get by and so that created traffic even at 2:30 in the morning. Finally made it home at 2:45a.m. I seriously was considering calling The Guy when I saw the freeway was shut down and telling him I was coming back to stay the night. Wish I did. It took 1 hour and 15 minutes, when in the middle of the night should have taken 30-40 minutes.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Hard-on at the gym...

Not mine- I try my hardest to not get one there when checking out the guys that are working out.

There is a hot kid at my gym. He's probably 25 I'm guessing, 6'3'' or so, 150lbs, brown hair slicked down on top and then stands up in the front. He has a pretty heavy beard you can tell, but is always clean shaven. He doesn't have a really hairy body, just enough. I've seen him bend over enough to know that he wears briefs. He always wears rather tight shorts with what he wears. He seems very shy. I've only seen him there recently in the past month or 2. I think he may have a brother/boyfriend(?) who looks a lot like him who he has worked out with upon occasion and is just as hot.

Anyways, I was at the gym today getting ready to leave when I see this guy standing at the tricep machine kind of resting. I look at him and stare, then realize that he has a HUGE hardon in his shorts. It was so noticeable. It stuck out a good 4-5 inches from his body and since I was in front of him, had a good view of it. He has a really thick mushroom head. He was just standing there resting and totally oblivious to the fact. This guy is hot, so it was a major turn on. I tried my best not to stare and just walk by to the water fountain to get a drink before I left... but damn... I'm going to be checking him out in the future.

I kinda want to meet and get to know him... heh...


Got a call about 8:30 from The Guy as I was doing the dishes. He said he was feeling better- he has been sick since Tuesday. He asked if I wanted to come over and play Warcraft with him. I said sure. He showed me how to play, then he sat next to me telling me what to do for the next hour or so while it installed on my computer. I did pretty well and completed all my quests, then I used up all my firepower and got killed so many times. It was kinda sad. Since The Guy and I were both playing on our laptops and everything he finally got over and was able to save me. He thought that was very cute he got to save me. We watched "Star Trek Voyager," "Arrested Development," and "Scrubs" while sitting there on the couch. Finally about 1:00a.m. I said we better call it a night because I was very tired and still had to drive home 40 minutes. He said I could have spent the night if he weren't sick.

I am tired this morning. My dad thought it would be funny since I was out so late last night to set the timer on my TV for 4:59a.m. At 4:59a.m. I hear the little traffic sounder KTLA uses when they go into traffic, then hear Nicole Gonzalez' annoying, whiny voice announcing they're about ready to take off in the helicopter and that she had the traffic. (... as a little aside KTLA really needs to invest in some real talent... not audition winners like Jessica Holmes or Nicole Gonzalez). I turned off the TV and spent the next hour or so trying to fall back asleep. At 7:55 I woke up finally because it was too hot here in the house to sleep longer. I need at least 8 hours of sleep a night to function... which I haven't got all week.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Time for photos... a look at my day

Trying to learn to use my new phone and decided to play with the camera today...

Olive Garden with the family... unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks lunch... yum!!!!

My mom said she would treat the family to See's Candies after lunch... got 1/4 pound of key lime truffles...

Dealt with the lunch hour traffic on the freeway as I headed to school...

Trekked 1/2 mile from the parking lot, under the freeway overpass, and into campus (can you believe we have to walk 1/2 mile to campus from the parking lot?!) I pay $84.00 a quarter for a parking pass, the least they could do was provide a shuttle... let us park closer...

Got really restless sitting in the desk and bored... I MEAN REALLY BORED and decided to trace my hand. Remember doing that as a little kid and how fun it was? I was reexploring my creative childhood side today... yessum.

Thank you state of California!!!

My mom took the necessary action the other day of reporting my aunt as an incompetent caregiver to the Office on the Aging for the state of California. I'm so thankful the state was quick to act and in less than 2 days were out to investigate. They went to my aunt's house and have declared my aunt an incompetent caregiver. This is a huge blow to my aunt and I'm ecstatic. WHEW!!! I'm not sure what will happen with my grandma at this point, but I feel sooooooo much better just hearing this news.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

I don't want no scrub...

Went to lunch with my coworker and friend B today. We went to In-N-Out. I drove and therefore I control the radio and I sing along as I please to all the songs.

We were getting on the freeway as "No Scrubs" by TLC came on. I had to sing along, afterall I knew the song. So I'm singing my heart out, then the chorus part comes on, the "no I don't want no scrub, a scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me, hanging around the passenger side of his best friends ride, trying to holler at me..." and so on. So I am not paying much attention, just singing along to the radio. I should have probably said "a scrub is a girl..."

B then says "wooooooow Mike, woooooow I didn't know that about you... I didn't know you swing that way." I said well, there's a lot you don't know. She said apparently. I said she should know by now I love to sing to the radio and I'm bound to sing to anything on the radio. I said I hope that she knows I was kidding. She said, yeah, sure. I said that it is a good thing that I don't want a guy hanging around his best friends ride and whatnot. I said that that a girl can be a scrub... they constantly want, want, want, and just sit around on their "broke butt" as they say in the song. I told her I wanted to amuse her, which is why I didn't change the guy part.... most guys don't have the balls to not change the lyrics, but I sing the song exactly because I have balls.

The conversation was dropped... think I showed her up pretty well.

Then I had another idea... when the song Fergalicious was popular one of the kids we tutor who was a guy always went around singing "Fergalicious definition make them boys go loco..." and she basically said I had a point there, although he did it better than I did.

I'm getting good at playing this stuff off... heh. It was all in fun though, I know B knows that, but I do need to stop I think being a bit obvious and go back to being more closeted.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

What I've been up to...

So I realized I haven't talked about what I've been up to lately... so I thought I'd take a moment to blog just because...

The past week or so has been spent going out with my parents looking at model homes for decorating ideas for our house, stuff like that. We have everything picked out already- the tile, the wall color, though the house hasn't been built. We won't have time during the schoolyear, so it has to be done now. Since we have the tile and all those goodies established we can move onto the furniture/decorating. My mom is figuring out how many couches, stuff like that we'll need and playing around arranging the furniture on the floor plans. My mom also wants a whole price list and everything. I have all of the furniture for my room, bathroom, and closet picked out and priced out for her, so I'm all good.

I've been trying to make it to the gym 2-3 times a week... I'm doing it. I'm working on my chest a lot right now.

I think you guys are pretty up to date in the guy department. Still closeted... still not out... still not sure about a lot of things... still seeing The Guy... but not dating...

I've been applying for new jobs. I love tutoring at the high school, but the pay is no longer as good as it once was because everyone else in the district got raises except tutors. I did apply for a marketing/video editing/journalism related job all in one... the pay would probably suck, but the networking opportunities would be invaluable and learning all that stuff. I applied for a job as a sales/training rep for a communication company that deals with educational technology. It pays $30 an hour. Also applied for a job as a recruitment officer at one of the local community colleges. The pay is $24 an hour, plus mileage, plus gas, but it would require some nights and weekends. Hard to pass up though. I also still want to sub in my mom's school district, but there aren't any openings for me to apply. I've been checking daily.

My summer school class is Tuesday/Thursday afternoons and is nothing but busy work. Each day our homework is to pick out a main point in the reading for that day and summarize it. It is an upper division class!!! I don't really care for the class since it is Anth 1 all over again. I do however like the couple kids I have met in there- the lesbian girl and a kid who I went to elementary school with up until 6th grade, then he went to the other middle school, and other high school. He is also a year ahead in college like me. 2 more class meets, 1 more response paper, and the final paper.

I want to go to a lot of concerts... Daughtry is at the OC Fair tommorow night. Blue October/Plain White Tees are going to be at the OC Fair also. Snow Patrol will be at the Greek Theater next week. My friends who want to go are away taking summer school. The local friends who are in town don't like the bands or can't go... so I don't have anyone to go. Kinda sucks...

This week I have a lunch date with a friend each day... fun times.

I've talked to my best friend down in Misissippi and we're both very excited about me coming out. Everytime he calls me it seems I'm in the car driving, but it's cool and helps pass the time. Still haven't heard from my cousin's in OKC. My younger cousin back there is being reviewed on the 6th at work and can't come to OKC to see me. My other cousin hasn't said a thing and at this point I don't expect her to. Update: mom is on the phone talking with my aunt and I talked to my aunt for a moment. She said she didn't know about my cousin having a review that day. She said my other cousin is probably not going to come to OKC because she is scared of driving out to OKC, but also can't afford to take off work. My aunt said she may drive my uncle to work and come into OKC to have lunch with me on the 31st (when I have the short layover in OKC. So we'll see... the 6th is still up in the air.

My lesbian cousin apparently had her baby on the 11th of July. She found me on myspace and I added her. Her page was private and since I'm curious I added her. Her page is... DIRTY. She is a porn star and has done some porn apparently. There are pics of her all over her page with just stars covering her private areas and stuff... I can only think eeeeew that is my cousin and how she was raised so badly by my cousin and how there was no stability in her life.

Family drama sucks. Enough said. Feelings get hurt. People cry. I'm trying to be strong and not complain.

My sister's driving is still as scary as ever. She starts college in mid August. She can't get her license until the end of September. I'm not taking her to the train station- my mom may, but my mom will have to get up earlier to do that next year. My sister still needs help turning the wheel while making a turn left or right. She has no depth perception. We're going to be car shopping soon for a car for me so she can have mine... that is if she can get her license... if she passes the test.

So what's up guys? What have you guys been up to? I know this was kind of long and rambling, but I'm in a rambling/talkative mood.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Update on the Nordstrom guy (NG)

Yes... we have talked and are still talking to each other. He texted me a while back and I didn't have text messaging at the time (because Loud Mouth Coworker texted me sooo much I got annoyed and had it turned off). I called NG and we talked about how he never has really picked up guys at Nordstroms or any place before; he was just checking people out and noticed I was getting his signals and whatnot. Heh... like I believe that... ok... Then we talked about each other and our interests and stuff.

We have instant messaged back and forth over the past couple weeks. He wants to meet up at Starbucks soon. We tried to meet up the other day, but his roommate was there and so didn't want to go there. He also didn't want to go out to a fast food restaurant to meet up, so we didn't.

So we'll see what happens.


Automatically when the phone rings before 9a.m. or so I get worried. My first thought is always something happened to grandma. And this morning it almost came through... my aunt called at 6:33 this morning and left a message on our answering machine "grandma is a vegetable." The answering machine is in my room and when I heard my aunt's voice I get a knot in my stomach, then I think my grandma is in a coma once I heard vegetable. NOT THE CASE, BUT HOW CAN SOMEONE BE SOOOOO CRUEL AND MAKE UP SUCH A MEAN LIE??? WELL... TO GET OUR ATTENTION. MY AUNT IS SICK. Spent a couple hours on the phone with my aunt in Oklahoma to find out this was a lie and what is really going on, but this was so uncalled for. This morning has been an emotional roller coaster and I'm sick to my stomach and things just seem to be getting worse.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Hot fudge sundaes

Got a call from The Guy about 7:30 or so tonight as I was out cleaning the garage. My goal by Wednesday night is to be able to park in the garage. Our garage is HUGE, but is so full of plastic tubs (I literally threw away 15 plastic tubs of junk the other day). There are about 10 tubs of my mom's fabric that need to be moved into the storage container, a coffee table, treadmill, and exercise bike that also need to be moved. Then I will park in the garage.

The Guy said he was back home and was horny. I said we could take care of that. He asked me to bring the hot fudge syrup. I said it sounded dirty and wanted to know what he had in mind.

So I stopped at Stater Brothers, got the syrup, then drove over to his house.

Got to his house and we went into the office where he was downloading some new RPG games to play. We also looked at cars like the car he had this weekend he rented where the convertible broke. Then we looked at BMW's, which he thinks are nice... I only like the 3 series and saying that is a stretch. I like Lexus', but didn't tell him.

Then The Guy asked what I wanted to do... we could suck each other off or something else. I said the latter sounded good, so we went to the bedroom. We laid next to each other and I rubbed his crotch. Then I started sucking him and then he started undoing my shorts and sucked me. We did this for a long while. Then we got out the lube and I teased him and slid up and down on his back with my dick. It was pretty hot. Then I sucked his balls while he jacked his dick.

Now for the dirty part... the sundaes!!! I scooped our ice cream into bowls and The Guy went about making the fudge. He could pour the fudge into a bowl and make it easy... but no. EVERYTIME we have ice cream he stands in front of the microwave and puts it on for 10 minutes, then stands there like a little dog waiting for the fudge to just about go over the edge of the container, then he takes it out. Then he doesn't pour it on his ice cream. He dips the spoon in the fudge and then eats the ice cream. I, on the other hand think I'm more normal and pour the fudge on top of the ice cream. Then because I have a dirty mind The Guy had to find a way to make eating chocolate dirty, so he dipped the spoon in the fudge and put some ice cream on it, then fed it to me, but I only got the ice cream part. He smeared the fudge all over my face and then licked it off. That was dirty!

Afterward we sat back and watched 2 episodes of "Arrested Development" and 1 episode of "Star Trek Voyager."

Good way to top off the weekend... like a sundae... hah.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Update on my weekend and eating out

Yesterday was quite fun. I had lunch with my coworker Gonzo at Coco's. We try to go out once a month and eat and talk. This was the first time we've done that in a long time. Caught up on her life... all she has time for is work and school. She inquired about my life and my love life. I said there was someone but decided I wasn't interested in them. Not true... but you know how it works being closeted. I also asked about her and her boyfriend... the boyfriend who responded to my craigslist ad. She said that they are doing better than ever. They had a big fight 2 weeks ago about her not wanting him around, but they worked through it... maybe it'll give him more time to pursue guys. Heh. J/K

Today I went to lunch with my parents at our favorite Mexican restaurant. For lunch it is $1.00 cheaper, you get a little smaller plate (only a little), but you get soup or salad. I like to go to get the abondigas soup. The onions and celery are the best part... forget the meatballs. After we went out and looked at model homes for decorating ideas. We've seen so many and as far as I'm concerned they're all the same. I have all the furniture and everything already picked out for my room, so I don't need to see all these homes.

Because I'm so studious... hah... I'm going to write my weekly BS response paper for my anthropology class tommorow. Then I'm going to start writing the final paper since I found my article and whatnot, so I just want to get it over with... two weeks early. Should only take an hour or two... shouldn't have many distractions... afterall The Guy is out of town visiting friends in Phoenix.. :::HINT HINT JR... j/k:::

Monday or Wednesday I'm going out with 1 or 2 coworkers to In-N-Out for lunch. Should be fun... looking forward to my animal style fries. Lately I don't even bother ordering a burger when I go. And for the record, I'm Californian and I don't think In-N-Out has the best burger :::gasp:::... they're good yes... but there is another... Bakers Drive Thru has one of the best burgers AND I KNOW this for a fact.

Tuesday I'm going out to Olive Garden with the family for the soup, salad, and breadsticks lunch. A fun lunch beforehand will soothe the pain of having to go to school afterward and put me in a better mood in class... hopefully. We have 2 group projects Tuesday. UGH.

Thursday or Friday I am trying to meet my friend Melha for lunch. We try to meet at least once during every school break for lunch at Panera Bread. We're both Comm majors and good friend so its fun to talk about school and catch up on gossip. She is no doubt going to succeed in Journalism... just the opportunities she has had already are INCREDIBLE. She interned at NBC in San Diego in high school. She is interning right now with Rolling Stone.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

A quiz and flirting with a lesbian

How Long Have You Been a Heterosexual?
(It’s nothing to be ashamed of)

1.What caused your heterosexuality?
2.How and when did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
3.Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?
4.Does your heterosexuality stem from a neurotic fear of others of your own
5.Heterosexuals usually have histories of failed gay relationships. Do you think
you may have turned to heterosexuality out of fear of rejection?
6.If you've never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you
wouldn't prefer that?
7.Isn't it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?
8.To whom have you disclosed your heterosexuality?
9.Why do you insist on making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality?
10. If you nurture children, would you want them to be heterosexual, knowing
the problems they will face?
11. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into heterosexual

This may have been the first quiz I aced. I remember sitting in class before we broke up into groups thinking how ironic this was that these questions I was asking myself the day before happened to be on the quiz. I studied and didn't even know it.

These are just some of the questions from the quiz in my political anthropology class today where we were discussing sex and gender in relation to power etc. It was a group survey type deal where we were supposed to discuss the questions as a group. One girl in my group, a nice girl, always saying hello to everyone in the class immediately came out and said, "I smoke, I'm a lesbian, I have a girlfriend, I'm latina, and I'm big and proud." That was pretty bold and shocking. I was just thinking to myself she doesn't seem like a lesbian. Anyways, we started answering the questions. I started playing it straight as the girl asked me #1 and I said well, I guess I am a blank slate and was maybe exposed to a female body first and was turned on by it. Then the other girl in our group who doesn't understand English real well, but always has to chime in said that she was not sure, but she had a date sometime back in 88 when she realized she was straight. Question 2 I became MUCH more bold. I think it was because of the girl with the language barrier wouldn't really take much from the activity; but I knew that I would be accepted by the lesbian girl and my group was back in the corner, so when it came to when I decided I was hetero I said "well, after much experimentation with both sexes I have come to this conclusion..." and that caused some random flirting going on between the girl and I like what have you done etc. etc. and am I just trying to make this survey interesting... I just said "yes." Question 7 came about the gay lover and the lesbian girl asked it. She asked me the question and again I said "well, maybe I haven't found one yet, but who knows... maybe I am looking... maybe I'm not... maybe I should look for one.... maybe that's the solution to my problems" About this time we were getting too flirty etc. to try to take this exercise seriously, but also we were talking about how stupid this stuff is that this is stuff gay people are asked. But it was kind of neat I guess for me to be able to feel comfortable to joke around about sexuality and to feel totally comfortable doing it, while not coming out, though I'm sure I could have and there would have been no effects whatsoever on me as a person and nobody would care... but I didn't want to chance it. I was just having fun taking the quiz and flirting with a big, cigarette smoking, latina lesbian with a girlfriend about sexuality.

Why? Why am I gay/bi/straight whatever?

I like The Guy a lot and don't want to lose him. I like him as a friend and well a friend with benefits. I won't lie. That's pretty much where we're at.

I've just been kinda thinking today as I did stuff around the house. I have read all about what makes a person gay, different theories, different stuff like a certain part of the brain is larger, everyone is a blank slate, etc. Well, I was trying to think back and think when I was first attracted to men and women just because....

Perhaps my sister has a lot to do with it. She was always wanting me to play Barbies with her when I was little. I never did. I'd use the garage in her dollhouse to play cars. I never wanted to play dollhouse. Car-house yes... hah... like that? Anyways, I can remember being little and daydreaming about having a brother to play with and all of the things we could have done. All of my friends had brothers, they were cool, got along, played videogames together, went places together, did stuff. All of them got along great and seemed to agree on everything; whether that was true or not, who cares, why ruin my fantasy when I was a child to have a brother? It really hurt me that I didn't have a brother and I felt out of place. I still want a brother badly. I mean to be there to do guy things, have a brother close in age... when we were little we could have played hot wheels and video games... then as we were in our teen years could have spotted hot girls together... went to the movies together with friends... I am dwelling on the fact I didn't have a brother, but this was a major thing when I was a kid and I remember telling my parents a lot that I wanted a brother. There was a lot you could do with a brother you can't do with a sister... I mean even like language... clean language around a girl... no playing out in the dirt... I lacked a lot of male interaction around the house. Maybe that's why I like guys... I crave that attention that I missed as a kid. Even just sitting with a guy watching a movie is fun because you can oooh and aaaah together about the action, special effects, stuff like that. Whereas when you're with a girl, it is like wasn't that a sweet story? I'm so glad that Johnny and Sue are together... that was sweet. Yes, I can be suckered into watch a chick flick, but that is not my point. My point is outside of my male friends I lacked anyone to talk to about movies etc. My dad isn't into that type of fun stuff... I didn't have a brother to talk to...

My dad and I have never been really close. I know he loves me. I just know my dad wasn't a typical dad- he wasn't Mr. Fix It. He was Mr. Try to Fix It, which never came off as cool as all the other dad's. Anyways, he never had me in sports or anything like all the other dad's. He never taught me to play football, soccer, etc. He is a good guy, don't get me wrong, but I feel that he could have done more to get me involved and help foster my masculinity and teach me guy stuff. I'm not saying I'm not masculine because I feel I am, but I'm saying that he never seemed as in and as cool as all the other dad's. Maybe it is because this goes back to male attention... I feel my dad could have done more and been there more to get me more involved and done guy things with me.

I do remember random things when I was little like taking swimming lessons at the community college and going in the guys and girls locker room because I was young enough to do both. The guys locker room always interested me I guess because the guys in there seemed so cool. I mean the guys I remember were showering, laughing, talking, stuff like that and that stuck with me. In the women's locker room I remember there were booths with like little partitions and curtains and it just seemed blah... but was it this that made me interested in guys? I don't know... I don't know if this has any relevancy... I'm just bouncing some random thoughts that have been in my head lately.

In middle school and high school the locker rooms were eh... I mean you go in and change into pe clothes and that's it. No big deal.

When did I start noticing an attraction in guys? I guess it was maybe 8th grade or so and I don't remember being any indicator or anything like "ooh I suddenly like guys." I remember it being more of a stage as where I liked to be around guys and hang out etc.

I remember being with my best friend many days at his house looking at porn on the computer in his room and his parents bedroom... he was daring... heh. Anyways, the females were hot I'll admit, but I just didn't get the spark that guys gave me. I know what a hot woman looks like... nice hair... nice lips... nice large breasts... and yes, a hot woman can turn me on. I guess that's still why I say I like girls. Its also not like I've experimented much beyond kissing with a girl. I still want to, yes, and I think I can be attracted to a girl. In fact, if Gonzo didn't have her boy I'd go with her in an instant and I think I'd be happy. I like girls, yes, because talking to a girl is just soooo easy... say whatever you want... they give you sympathy and offer advice and comfort you. I know even with The Guy I can tell him stuff, but he is just not touchy feely, aaaaw I'm sorry, gooey mushy like a girl is, and I like that aspect in women.

I remember when I finally had my own laptop and I could look at porn. I looked at female porn. I looked at male porn. I remember always being more turned on by the male porn maybe because it was a taboo and I was always a good boy and so this was kind of going against everything?

I guess maybe because this was 10th grade or so and studying AP Euro it seemed like EVERY male we studied had homosexual tendancies and this turned me on I guess to know that male figures in history- some who are guys with pretty important like Leonardo da Vinci, Machiavelli, etc. This intrigued me I guess to see how shunned their behavior was, yet how they were possibly gay etc. I always like knowing interesting tidbits like that.

So anyways, I remember suddenly I was looking at more and more male porn. I mean when you're looking at online porn a woman can have huge breasts, but at a point they look fake, but a male with a 10'' penis, while it may also be fake, it turned me on. What guy doesn't want to be that well endowed?

Well, junior year... I was searching for the perfect girl... prom... I dated girlfriend #1 for about 2 months and I liked her as a friend, but I mean I couldn't see a real relationship partly because we never let ourself get that close because we were good friends and didn't want to ruin that.

Throughout high school most of my friends never really dated and the couple who did dated each other, so dating was never a big deal and my parents knew for the mostpart my friends didn't date, so it is not like there was real pressure on me to. I find myself a very independent person and never really needed a girlfriend to be happy. I was fine going out and doing things with friends and never needed to be touchy feely.

Senior year during the summer I dated girl #2 and she was cool, but again, we were friends and from our circle of friends, so it was nothing serious and nothing beyond kissing.

In college I didn't really search anyone out. I continued looking at male porn online and stuff and that's fine and dandy. I finally about January worked up the courage to contact a guy that seemed cool at my college. He was alright... I mean we met up and stuff once in the library to just hang... then one Saturday night... January 13 to be exact in his dorm where stuff happened. I realized males were easy to comeby and worked up the guts to do more and find a guy... met The Guy in April. I'm so happy I have... not just for the sex... but honestly I was at a point where I was really getting kind of depressed not having any guys to be around. He is a great guy to hang around, he is smart, interesting, and caring. I wasn't expecting to meet anyone like him. Honestly, while I wanted an emotional connection to someone, which he has provided and I'm so thankful for. I guess with guys I was just wanting sex or guys to hang around. I mean working with 8 girls all day, most of the people in my classes were girls that I did talk to, come home talk to my mom and sister. In my group of friends there are about 14 girls and only 5 or 6 guys, so I felt a real need to meet more guys. I'm so glad I've met him... to have another guy to talk with is cool and the attention... both just being around him and the sexual attention is nice.

So I'm not sure there was any point to this post... talk about sexuality... where I realized I liked guys... why I think I'm gay/bi/whatever... I don't know...

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Sassy me

Got an IM from The Guy while I was in class. I whipped my computer out right before class got out since the teacher was just passing back work. The Guy said I should come over. I agreed. Called my parents and told them I was going out with friends.

Got to his place and had to knock a good 2 minutes or so. The Guy had the music so loud he didn't hear me knocking. He was trying to adjust his speakers. The he was scared when he finally heard me since I was knocking so loudly that it was a neighbor wanting to complain.

So he played around with his speakers and then we went to pick up his NEW speakers. He is just buying a 70'' TV and that will be his last purchase. He bought 2 $750.00 surge protectors last night for his audio equipment. I'll stick with a 99 cent store surge protector. Anyways, we go to pick up his new speakers and the man who had the store had all sorts of speakers that said "TRAVIS" on them and it was labeled like "bedroom 1" etc. or "spare bedroom." The guy with the audio store is going to install entertainment centers and 37'' flatscreen TV's in Travis Barker from Blink-182's kid's room. That was pretty cool to know that. The Guy's speakers weren't at the store, so we went up to the warehouse with the employee to get the speakers.

Then The Guy decided we were hungry and were going to have hawaiian rolls with brie cheese and meatloaf for meatloaf sandwiches. Sounded good, so we hit the Vons and got some mint and chip ice cream also. Driving back The Guy suddenly decided he wanted Chinese food instead for dinner. We go get Chinese. The Guy had 3 different sides (instead of the usual 2) AND barbecued pork AND sweet and sour soup. Then after dinner he still wasn't full.

So we decide to install the speakers but realized that he needed wall mounts and those weren't included.

We sit down and watch "Lord of the Rings." We talk about random things and I finally found out the guy works for a tire store. I have a feeling I know which one and where. We also talked about stuff like classes. Good talking overall. I was sitting near the end of his feet as he was laying on the couch. The guy was rubbing my crotch with his foot. I was getting hard. Then I decided to get up and lay next to him. My head only went to his crotch area which was perfect. I rubbed the area with my hand and then he pulled down his pants and I started sucking him off. The Guy keeps saying how good I am at that. Yay.

Anyways, we go to his room and lay on the bed and we're doing a 69. He then gets the lube out and starts jacking me off. It felt soooo good. He got really crazy with the lube and it got all over the shirt I was wearing as well as his. We take our shirts off then the fun REALLY begins. We just lube each other up and then slide around on each other. I was on the bottom and we made out for a while and that was hot. No tongue though unfortunately.

Then the part that REALLY turned me on... he pushed me over and so I was laying facedown. He then lubed my back up and slid along my back with his body. Then he licked my ear a couple times and I think I've posted that before (but that is a HUGE turn on). I told him to keep it up and he did. My goodness did he... he was sucking the outside of my ear, licking the outside and inside of my right ear and did that for a while. It sent a tingling sensation through my body and upper body. It was soooo hot. Then he did the same to the left ear. I was having a hard time staying still, but it felt soooo great... lots of moaning and everything. I enjoyed that A LOT.

After that we toweled off and went back to the couch to finish LOTR. We finished disk 1. While sitting there we were talking about what he does for a living. He works at a tire shop and I know where it is. I think he works on computers there. He didn't say what he does specifically. We were making other small talk... The Guy asked me if I wanted some of the ice cream we bought earlier. I said no- I was full. He said that I shouldn't have made him buy it. I said I didn't. It was HIM who wanted it. He said true, but usually I'll take the slack for it, but since I wasn't tonight I was being sassy... I was being like Punky Brewster... haha... remember that show? Anyways, then The Guy decided he was tired and wanted to read for a while then go to bed. Keep in mind it was only 8p.m., but ok that was cool.

As I got up to leave we hugged and The Guy kissed me. Then he took me by the face with his hands and started licking my left ear like earlier, which was really hot.


Hi guys,

This is Mike from I made a HUGE mistake and commented on my cousin's blog using my randomthoughts blog ID. I didn't realize until after I made the comment and kept noticing that my blog appeared in the user info that you can click. I wouldn't have made such a big deal since I've accidentally done that before on her blog. The only problem this time was the comment was so pointed that there was no escaping the fact she could figure out it was me. While I'm sure she'd be fine with my sexuality and stuff I'm sure it could easily get out and plus I don't want to know about what I've done with men... or women for that matter. In a moment of panic I decided the best thing to do was back my whole blog up into a Microsoft Word file, which I did. Then I decided to repost all of the archives. Not only for my memories, but for new readers and other closeted guys to read if they desire. It is kind of messy how it appeared, but I wanted to save this stuff. It is like my life so perfectly organized over the past 6 months or so and so I didn't want to lose everything, so I backed it up.

I'm probably going to lose some readers and everything, but that's ok. I just wanted to put back all the old blogs regardless how messy (no paragraphs) not sure if the pics I've posted appeared, but I'm not going to worry about it now. I do have my blogs in Microsoft Word and the pictures appeared... so I am happy there. I'm really bummed about the whole situation though.

Well, here's to a fresh start. By the way I don't like this blog name Random Thoughts in My Life, but it was somewhat close and so anyways. I am going to sign off for tonight. I planned to be in bed nearly an hour ago.

If only I had talked with J.R. at Nothing Golden Stays before I deleted everything. I could have made my blog not appear in my profile and that could have saved everything. Oh well... I'm not going to dwell and make myself mad over this... its amazing how mad/upset/worried I became about this whole thing, but I've invested a lot of time and effort in this. On top of that, I love how neatly my life was organized... it was archived by days, months, and weeks and I could easily see what happened this day or what "random thought" I had. Well guys, here's to a fresh start...

*** Not sure how coherent this post comes out at 12:35a.m.

July 2-9

Monday, July 9, 2007
Music stages
I go through stages with music. I'm serious. I love and listen to all types of music. The thing is though, I go through stages where at times I like one genre more than another. At the beginning of May I was really into country and it seemed like country was the only thing I'd listen to. Then in mid-May/June my tastes shifted. I still like(d) country, but I was suddenly really into alternative like Daughtry, The Fray, Plain White T's, Blue October, and Peter Bjorn and John. I was listening nonstop to STAR 98.7 and KROQ 106.7. I also had an oldies phase at the very end of June when I was packing up all the CDs in the house and was stumbling across oldies CDs I hadn't heard in a while like Buddy Holly. 60s on 6 on XM Radio on Direct TV really helped pass the time. KOLA 99.9 also helped."Peggy Sue" - Buddy HollyNow my tastes have changed again. Thanks in part to The Guy playing pop nonstop I'm going through a pop phase right now. I'm into that song by Pink like "U + Your Hand" and "Who Knew." I am also into songs like that annoying, yet catchy "Umbrella" by Rhianna. I'm listening to KIIS 102.7 and STAR 98.7 alot. Also, have you guys heard Travis? He is another one The Guy has had me listen to and has got me hooked on them. Unfortunately, they're not one you're going to hear on mainstream radio. He found them from Sirius satellite radio I think. Their CDs are available at Target and Best Buy. I plan to pick them up soon."Why Does It Always Rain On Me?" - Travis"Flowers in the Window" - Travis
Posted by Mike at 9:39 AM 0 comments
Labels: Music, Random, Thoughts

Sunday, July 8, 2007
How do people live with no a/c? I wish I knew...
I have a high heat tolerance- except when it is so uncomfortable you can't sleep. During the day I can handle the heat- at night when I sleep... no.Our a/c went out and my dad refuses to fix it since we'll be "moving out soon." Note- that'll be within the next couple months, but it is not unusual for summers in California 100 during the day and 75 at night. Problem? Yes.During the day without a/c my room warms up to 95 degrees or so and it is 100 or so outside. NO JOKE. I can open the window, but that just brings warm air in and warms it up more during the day. Usually about 6-7p.m. the breeze comes up and I open up the windows in my room. I've been able to cool my room down to about 85, but 85 is only comfy in the winter for sleeping. The room warms up once it is cooled down because I close the windows. Why? Because my bedroom faces the northeast I get the sun in my face to say good morning and I can't sleep with the sun shining in on my face. It is not a good morning though, when you were hot all night while sleeping, so didn't get a good night's sleep, and you wake up with a wet spot under you because its so hot and you are sweating. Those oscillating fans and box fans don't help in my room.It is soooo hot I'm not wearing socks when I sleep- which I never do... even in summer. I have also been sleeping nude... there it is for the record. Yes.Anyways, my dad has not been on my good side since his refusal to fix the a/c. I hate it. The hot temps make you uncomfortable and sleepy. Then you don't feel like eating anything. We had steak and potatoes for dinner the other night and I only ate the hash browns, and I'm not one to pass up a good steak, so that gives you an idea. At breakfast it is hard to stomach breakfast when nothing sounds good and you're sooooo hot.My parents and sister's rooms don't have the same problem my room does. My sister only has 1 window in her room, but her room doesn't warm up like everyone else's. Then my parents room cools much better than mine.
Posted by Mike at 4:00 PM 2 comments
Labels: family, Thoughts, Weather

Saturday, July 7, 2007
Night of video games and movies
Got a text message from The Guy about 6 asking if I wanted to come over and play video games with him. I said ok... I figured it couldn't be too bad and may be fun. Ok... I'll admit it... I suck at video games... the last gaming console I had was Nintendo 64. So anyways, we go to his bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed playing Dark Warrior on his PS3. We try to get it to work 2 player, but it wouldn't, so he started off playing. Then we figure out how to get 2 player mode working. Done. Then we start playing. So we're fighting all the different characters we need to and I'm obviously doing a better job. My health doesn't go down and I keep getting more points. The Guy on the other hand keeps dying. After about the 3rd time of him dying and me playing without him he gets sad and gets tired of it, and wonders how this happened. So we decide we need food.We go to Vons and get a whole bunch of food like chicken, meatloaf, and CPK garlic chicken pizza. The Guy originally planned we were going to eat all 3. Nope... plans changed and I expected that with him... we just had the CPK pizza. The Guy put it in the oven and in the meantime we watched "Arrested Development" on the couch. We had mint chip ice cream for dessert. Then we went to his room and watched some sci fi show on blueray disk that he just bought. It wasn't a bad show. We layed up against each other on the bed. I'm taller and because of the dog I layed on the outside of The Guy kind of holding him. I put my hand on his thigh through most of the movie. Then later he repositioned himself and he layed on his side, so I layed on mine too up against him. I left about 11 because he had to work today and wanted to get to bed, but overall a fun night.
Posted by Mike at 8:55 AM 0 comments
Labels: Guys, My day

Thursday, July 5, 2007
The Gym- A Progress Report
I've been trying to focus on my chest and abs at the gym lately. I am kind of keeping digital photos to check and see if there is progress. Here's the latest progress check. I notice that my shoulders look larger like they're getting stronger, which is a good sign. I know my arms are stronger and I can see the muscle on them developing. I notice again how badly I need a tan and how long my arms are. Just some "thoughts and other observations..."March 25, 2007May 23, 2007Note: I didn't have a 6 pack on May 23... that's the way the photo happened to come out. July 5, 2007
Posted by Mike at 10:24 PM 2 comments
Labels: Gym, Photos, Thoughts

A Thursday Ritual Revived
Every Thursday we have a ritual in my family. Allergy shots. I have been getting allergy shots since I live in California and am allergic to everything (trees, flowers, grasses, dust, dirt, dogs, cats, and just about anything else in California). I've been getting shots since 1991. The shots help keep my allergies under control, but also have kept me from ending up in the hospital several times a month due to my asthma. This past quarter I had class on Thursday and we typically get allergy shots on Thursday, so I've missed out on this weekly ritual.My dad started getting the shots a few years after me, then my mom followed since both have bad allergies. My sister started getting the shots about 3 years ago, so it is very much a family affair.We meet about 4:00p.m. every Thursday at the hospital for shots- my mom comes from school, my dad does too, then I would pick my sister up and take her with me. The nurses know me very well since I've been getting the shots so long. Every Thursday is the only day of the week we eat out, so it's something to look foward to. After we eat we may go to the mall, the bookstore, or Target, or something. I guess I like Thursday nights because they're really relaxing.Plus this is when the really important family talk happens... like tonight my mom said she saw a car for sale that seemed like a good deal and wanted to know if I was interested. Why? We need a new car when my sister goes to college (if she ever gets her license... really her driving is SCARY). So my mom asked if I was interested in the car she saw. I said no, instead I'm interested in _____ and she said ok. She said for me to keep a lookout and we need to start thinking about getting another car. Thinking is a start... big decisions like car buying in my family are a 3-6 month process.
Posted by Mike at 6:20 PM 1 comments
Labels: family, Random, Thoughts

Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Happy 4th of July!!!
Hi guys!Happy 4th of July!!! Hopefully you guys are staying cool! It is 106 today here in California- they said 110, but we have some sort of overcast deal going on keeping it somewhat cooler. 4 degrees cooler and the overcast condition is welcome relief without air condition, though the house is still pretty unbearable.This morning everyone overslept (except me) so we missed the 4th of July parade in Mo Val. Someone shot off fireworks at 4:00a.m. and woke everyone up. I might add fireworks are very illegal in my city because of the huge fire danger and we've only had 3'' of rain this year. I think they said it was like a $10,000 fine if you get caught. Anyways, I woke up at 8, everyone else about 9:30.So today hasn't been as planned... went to the gym and worked out my chest. It was a good workout. I cleaned up my room. I also downloaded a whole bunch of new music onto my computer.Now I'm here at home listening to my mom and aunt in Oklahoma bicker/talk on the phone. My aunt in Ok, I love her to death, but she is scared to stand up to my aunt in Nor Cal and I can hear my mom talking about it. It is driving me crazy. The good thing though, I have deduced from listening in on the conversation is that my aunt in Nor Cal is tired of caring for my grandma, so hopefully *crosses fingers* my aunt in Oklahoma can take care of her again.Anyways, what is planned for the rest of the day? I plan to sit in the dog's wading pool with them to cool off... barbecue steaks, garlic bread, and baked potatoes for dinner.... go see fireworks tonight.Happy 4th!!!Update: The fireworks were GREAT. There were sooo many different types like cubes... who knew they could make cube shaped fireworks? Then there were neat multicolored fireworks. Anyways, coming home from the fireworks I was in the midst of another strange sexual conversation. We were listening to KOST 103.5 in the car and they were doing their lovesongs feature. My sister said that the guy who called who had something romantic to say to a girl he loves is really not a guy since he says all those mushy things. My mom said "well, maybe he's into other guys." My sister went on about how that is still wrong. My mom said there is nothing wrong with being mushy and it is kind of sweet to see how romantically in love people are. My sister went on about how guys don't do that- even gay guys. My mom just went on about how it is love and maybe my sister doesn't know about love. During this whole thing I just wanted to say maybe I have a guy who I want to say that to... is there a problem? Or maybe if I had a guy to say that to I would. Actually, I could never imagine myself being as mushy ooeyy gooey as they are on KOST, or saying tha tto a guy, but anyways, that was my ride home. I just sat there with my mouth shut.
Posted by Mike at 3:52 PM 1 comments
Labels: family, My day, Weather

Tuesday, July 3, 2007
10pm. visit
The Guy im'd me about 9:40 last night asking if I wanted to come over. He was trying to guess how hot it was in my room and then was convinced that it was sooo hot I needed to come over. I agreed with him. I was boiling. It was- our a/c broke and my dad won't fix it. It was 86 in my room for the record. It was 104 yeseterday. He asked me to bring Star Trek Voyager and we'd watch a couple episodes of that.I told my mom and dad I was going to a friend's house. My dad said ok. My mom said "it's a bit late, but go ahead," so I get ready to go. My mom asks what we're going to do and then she makes a comment like "probably watch porn." My mom made that comment I know because she was not happy with me (for reasons I'm not going in to and very unrelated to any of this), but when she doesn't approve and is upset, she'll make comments like that. That was a little surprising.. My dad said he should go to supervise since it might be a porn vid he missed in his youth. I just said nope... we're going to watch sci-fi shows. But the comment makes me wonder what she might know... hmm... I'm not too worried. If I had been really daring I would have said, "yes mom, I'm going out to watch porn... in fact... have sex... and with a guy..." but I'm not that daring and am not going to cause more problems.Got to his place and we went to his bed and put the DVD in. We got comfortable and I had my arms around him. My right hand was rubbing his chest and other areas. Then The Guy said something to the effect of "I'd feel a lot better if you were sucking my dick," as I was only playing with it. So I took the cue and moved down there. Then a few moments later he had my shorts off and we were sucking each other. It was hot. He'd already jacked off a lot during the day, so he wasn't completely into it. After that we ended up me holding him and lots of kissing and rubbing up against each other. That was hot!We watched 2 episodes of Voyager in the midst of all of this. The Guy is soooo fun to watch movies with. He makes fun of EVERYONE. He kept making fun of Harry Kim for being Asian and getting in trouble, then not aging well in 1 of the episodes... little things like that. I told him he was on a role tonight and whatnot and he must have something against Asians and one did cut him off the other day and he was still upset about that. Then we had a talk about the doctor in Voyager and how The Guy loves him, but he annoys me. Then he made fun of 7 of 9 for being sooo serious. Then he brought up how he thinks 7 of 9 was created because she can "play the bitch" because Janeway and Chickotay together are fine, but they're loving and they needed a bitch woman in there. It was also funny that The Guy does not like guts and gore. I can tolerate it. He can't- one episode of Star Trek we were going to watch had an unidentified life form in it that attacked Belana and he said that was tooo much gore and so we switched DVDs. I got a laugh out of the fact he couldn't handle it.
Posted by Mike at 8:50 AM 0 comments
Labels: Guys, My day, Sex and religion, Thoughts, Weather

June 21-July 1

Sunday, July 1, 2007
Going to Mississippi and going to be up to no good
Yes... finally... after years of telling my best friend I'd come and visit him it is finally happening.Bought my ticket on Expressjet tonight. That was an experience. I don't know if it was me not paying attention or what, but I booked the wrong flight. I bought the ticket, then realized my mistake. I got on the phone and within 30 seconds was connected with someone at Expressjet who was able to help me and book the flight I needed. She said since the tickets were the same price it was no big deal and then in about another 30 seconds had an updated e-mail itenerary.Still not sure if I can meet up with my cousins in OKC, but I can hope. I've done everything I can to let them know... and everything I can schedule-wise to make this work. I have about a 6 hour layover coming back so we could meet up and go out to eat or something (hopefully at Braums... they always rave how good it is, yet when I've been back there there has never been time). I am trying to not get my hopes up because I know both are busy and chances are things will not go my way. I haven't seen my oldest cousin in OKC (and her kids) in 8 years and the younger cousin in about 2 years.As far as going to Mississippi I'm excited to see my friend and his family. Haven't seen them in 2 years. I'm excited at the possibility of going to Vicksburg and New Orleans. My friend is also going to teach me to drive a stick shift. Yay!So now I'm good to go!!! YAY!!!
Posted by Mike at 10:02 PM 2 comments
Labels: My day, Vacation

Perceptions on Californians
I was talking to my cousin in Oklahoma the other day saying how much she loves my mom. She was saying how my mom is pretty much the ultimate California parent. She said that when she was out here visiting about 2 years ago that my mom went out of her way to be nice to her, took her out shopping, and was just her friendly self in general. I asked if she thought it was just us being friendly Californians, if this was just my mom, or what. She said it was both my mom and this is how ALL parents in California are characterized. She went on and on about how in California everyone is seen as so progressive, carefree, spoiled, sun, the beach, so friendly, and so different from everyone else in the United States.Now, coming from California and never living anywhere I can only say that I've heard that everyone thinks California is soooo different. But I am just wondering I guess on perceptions of parenting/Californians/whatever related to California and the California attitude... feel free to jump in and share your thoughts. When people say CALIFORNIA, what comes to mind and what do people say?
Posted by Mike at 10:58 AM 2 comments
Labels: family, Thoughts

Friday, June 29, 2007
Mom's friend and my mom defending me... heh
The other day I helped my mom pack away her classroom at school. We went out to lunch with a teacher at my mom's school- my mom's best friend. Anyways, we had some interesting conversations I thought I'd share...The lady has a son who looks a lot like me (height, weight, hair etc), is the same age, has many of the same interests, and is overall a cool guy. He goes to a private Catholic college in Nor Cal. This lady is just about the sweetest person you'll ever meet, yet is SOOOOOOO overprotective of her son and I think this is a big part of the reason my mom is soooooo overprotective of me... this lady has like rubbed off onto my mom. This lady calls him twice a day- when he wakes up and when he goes to bed. If he doesn't answer, she'll call campus security to find him. I wonder how her son can do anything on his own and what he can/can't do, has, and hasn't done. This lady is a control freak though and has to be running her life and making sure everyone else is running theirs correctly. Really though, I think this is why my mom is sooooo overprotective of me. It wasn't until her son went away to college that my mom began worrying about me. I mean when I was 18 if I said I was going to be gone for 4 or 5 hours, my parents said ok when I was in high school. Then college came around and the lady's son was in college and away from everything. The lady was constantly telling my mom how she was making sure her son wasn't out drinking, how she calls her son soooooo much, how she does this for him, how he did this, etc. That's when my mom started caring and keeping tabs on me and my mom suddenly cared where I was going.I love this lady- DO NOT GET ME WRONG. She is just as sweet as can be, loves her students, loves everyone, cannot say a bad thing about anyone, is soooo eloquent in her word choice, good Catholic woman, and just a really great all around lady. Anyways, at lunch we were talking about how I've gone on trips this year like up to Santa Barbara and saw the ex g/f. When the lady heard about this she looked at me and her eyes lit up. She said to my mom, "You really let him go?" My mom said yes, there were 2 males there, so nothing would happen. This lady then asked if my mom was worried about me making it to SB safe, if she was worried I would drink, if I would get into bed with someone, etc. Just the whole 20 questions deal. My mom said yes to all the above, but knew that I had a good head on my head and that my dad basically said that she had to let me go. The lady then said she couldn't believe my mom would not go and supervise. MY GOD. I was shocked there and I point this out because right now when it is getting to the point I can do what I want, this lady had to come back and say all this stuff. Anyways, she went on about how it is bad that 2 males and a female are alone in a room before marriage and whatnot. That kept hitting on the religion part and I wasn't comfortable with that... mainly because it is probably putting ideas into my mom's head about me doing things like "staying the night" at friend's houses.Anyways, then we talked about how I spent last weekend helping a friend set up their entertainment center (The Guy). The lady kept looking and then saying back and forth to my mom, "you were ok with him being gone?" Then the lady asked it was just me and another male friend? I said yes. Then the lady asked if we took a shower, if we got dressed or undressed in front of each other, if we slept in the same room, etc. I SAID NOOOOOO to all of the above and said that the friend was just a real good friend from middle school and we have hung out quite a bit this quarter. Then my mom said to the lady that she wasn't ok that my mom had let me go when it was 1 female and 2 males there (Santa Barbara) and surely there was no problem with 2 guy friends helping each other out because it was guys and a girl was not involved... and afterall I'm not gay. It was also just a well, I'm glad you helped me with this, I'm tired, let's crash... not a let's get into bed type deal. Then the lady said, well, that's refreshing, but I spent the night at a guy's house. Then she went on about how 2 males being alone can be such a bad thing because we're in the "get it on stage" and there was definitely a third guy needed so the "get it on couldn't happen". My mom said nothing sexual was going on and if there were 3 guys, it would be an all out orgy, which would be worse. After my mom said this, the lady's mouth dropped and she said my mom's name and she said, "I can't believe you just used that word or would even suggest your son would do that, and with guys." My mom just responded that it is not a bad word, but she knows I wouldn't do that... plus the orgy could have happened with 2 guys and 1 girl like when I went to Santa Barbara... heh...That conversation was sooooooo unexpected and the lady apologized for being so inquisitve, but was doing the whole concerned mother type deal because to her I'm like a son (and she spoils me like I am, I might add). She said she just wants me to be safe and she felt these situations were kind of risky, so she wanted to hear for herself that I was ok.Also, on the way home I told my mom NOT TO WORRY about anything like the SB trip, or me spending the night at a friend's house last weekend. I would never consider anything sexual with friends. I pointed out how that was disgusting since I can't see my friends as sex partners. I know the Bible says to wait until marriage, etc. so she doesn't have to worry. I also pointed out that the friend I saw last weekend had a girlfriend and so he was surely straight, that all my friends are straight, and that there is nothing to worry about. My mom agreed. WHEW!!! Let's hope my mom doesn't revert to being soooo overprotective like she was a few months back.Oh... and by the way... lunch was GREAT. This lady is one who will order an appetizer, an entree, then dessert. She is all about sitting down, talking, enjoying everything. The lady had a cheeseburger and substituted the fries for watermelon, my mom had a steak with a baked potato and fruit, and I ordered the salad bar, shrimp, and a steak. Then we had dessert- the lady insisted all 3 of us get different things. I ordered carrot cake, my mom got lemon cake, and the lady got chocolate cake. This lady- every time my mom goes out to lunch with her has this idea you have to share food and so you order something you plan to eat, then something you don't. The lady passed me half of her cheeseburger and her and my mom ate the stuff from my salad bar plate (tacos, macaroni salad, soup, and something else). My mom gave us each half of her baked potato. That is just how this woman does it and it is soooo good and fun, plus you get to try something different. It makes the dining experience unique. For dessert we made a mess trying to split it so we each got 1/3 of each of the cake slices. It was tooooooooo fun!!! I love going to lunch with my mom and this lady. And the lemon cake... OMG... a lemon truffle on top... cream cheese icing layers in between... really soft lemon cake in between.... soooo good!!!
Posted by Mike at 8:35 PM 4 comments
Labels: family, Guys, My day, Sex and religion, Thoughts

Thursday, June 28, 2007
... SEX and electronics and stuff
The Guy called me about 5:10 tonight asking if I wanted to hang out and I said yes. He said nothing sexual could go on since a friend was coming by to do something for him. That was fine.So I get to his house in 1 hour. I ran into a 4 car accident on the 15, a 5 car accident on the 10, and then 2 planters that were on fire probably because someone through a cigarette out of a car and started the fire. The smoke smell REALLY filled my car.Anyways, got to his place and then we talked about the other day and his amp catching fire. Someone from the company is coming to inspect, says there have been no problems, but will give him a refund. He doesn't know why the thing caught fire, but he plugged it in later after I left and it caught fire again. We talked about how I drink a lot as I eat, whereas he doesn't drink while he eats, then drinks at the end... little random things like that.So we sat around talking about the iPhone, amps, subwoofers, stuff like that. The Guy has a $1,500 DVD player but wants to buy a $2,000 DVD player and so we sat at the computer in the office and looked at those. What does he need those for? What do those do that a $100 DVD player can't do? Maybe I'm ignorant... anyways...So we talked about what great friends we've become and stuff like that, which was cool and reassuring. We like a lot of the same movies and music, so we decided we need to have a day where we just exchange music and movies off of each other and upload them onto our computers.Then he said that since his friend still hadn't arrived, we should have a little fun and then we could have more after the friend left. So he was fondling my dick in my pants and then I made the move and went down and sucked him. We were watching some sci-fi series while this went on.Then The Guy called the friend and his friend's parents house was robbed, so wasn't coming. So then the choice was to have sex or go to Target. I still have the hardest time responding... the thought I'm having sex... hah. The choice was obvious though.We went to the bedroom and sucked each other, then teased each other with lube and were grinding on each other. Then we made out. It was pretty hot and we were sweaty afterward. I couldn't believe I started sweating- I don't sweat easily. So since this was quite a workout, we had to shower.Went to the shower and The Guy apparently had lipozap done on Tuesday and so he was showing me how swolen he was... his love handles and whatnot. Then he showed me what he'll look like after the lipozap and stuff like that.Then we went to Target and got yogurt, water, stuff like that. We talked about the $2,000 mountain bike The Guy bought today and the college class I'm taking right now in Target.Then we went back to his place, put everything away, called it a night. It was about 9:50 when I left and I made it home by 10:30.Oh, and The Guy is going to go line up for his iPhone tommorow after he gets off work.
Posted by Mike at 11:12 PM 1 comments
Labels: Guys, My day, Sex and religion, Thoughts

Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Moppy kept me up all night
Last night I went to bed at 10:30. I laid in bed for about 45 minutes, which is not unusual. About 11:15 Moppy next door started barking. He barked for 2 minutes, which warranted me going outside to shut him up. I go outside and shine my light around and he is nowhere to be found. I find all of the dogs next door except for Moppy. I go back inside and I hear Moppy barking again. I go outside the opposite direction and still can't find him. I finally give up, go inside, turn on the air filter in my room since that is loud enough to drown him out, but also it has a hum, so it is not disturbing like the ceiling fan in my room, which is too loud to have on when I sleep.About 2:15 my dad comes in my room and says something to the effect of the dog next door is barking. Being that it was 2:15a.m., I was not happy to be awaken. I told him that's nice and rolled over to go back to bed. Then he asks what to do. I am angry by this time and say "go outside and yell at him." My dad goes outside and tries to yell at the dog, but can't find it. 25 minutes last he comes back to me and tells me the dog is barking. I ask what he wants me to do. So finally I get up and go outside with a flashlight, look for the dog, can't find it, find the other dog and cause him to bark, then I throw a rock at the neighbors house just to get their attention. I turn out my flashlight and wait... they come outside and start yelling at the dogs. Problem solved. I go back in and lay in bed for about 50 minutes before falling back to bed. My dad was jealous at my skill.I was seriously mad though, I have been sleeping so well lately. For those of you who don't know I have the hardest time getting to sleep and staying asleep. I sleep very lightly and any loud or sudden sound will wake me up. It may take me an hour or longer because I have so many things running through my mind. Anyways, once I'm asleep lately, NOTHING wakes me up until the alarm sounds or my internal clock tells me it is about 6:30a.m. I have been sleeping through the entire night. It is sooooooooooo refreshing! I hope this keeps up.
Posted by Mike at 7:52 PM 2 comments
Labels: family, My day, Neighbors

Tuesday, June 26, 2007
I thought this was supposed to be summer
Summer to me means being free- no summer schoolSo who signed up to take political anthropology last night? Me... I need to take at least 1 class this summer, then 16 units in the following quarters, then 2-3 classes next summer to be able to graduate next summer. Next summer though, I will focus more on school. Right now though, I feel I really need a break... hence 1 class. Oh well... it only meets 2 days a week, there is some reading, then a response journal do every Tuesday... can we say busy work? I'll just tough it up and get through it. I've made up my mind I'm just going to do the minimal required.Then I had to call my aunt who I don't like in the first place to ask her about internet classes and stuff. I'm taking linguistics in the fall online from a college up north... probably the one she works at.I also had to get approval to take that class, which I still haven't got since the department head was gone today. Doesn't surprise me.Well... it is summer... it was 95 today. Been on the phone with my aunt in Oklahoma a lot lately and she said its been raining there going on 2 weeks. I can't imagine that since that never happens in California, but also because it is summer.Also, since it is summer I'm going to go somewhere... so I'm buying my tickets to go to Mississippi to see my best friend. Leaving July 31 and coming back August 6. Then I'll have about a 5 hour stopover in OKC both going and coming back. Seeing all my relatives won't work out, which I'm pretty bumbed about, but I'll survive I guess.
Posted by Mike at 4:30 PM 2 comments
Labels: My day, Rants, School, Thoughts

Monday, June 25, 2007
200th Post
swiped this from my cousin's blog...10 random things about you1. I am 20 and now a senior in college2. I will probably be 21 when I graduate from college.3. I hate my voice. Everyone says I sound like the lead singer of Rascal Flatts4. I am often told I look like Frankie Muniz5. I love trying new foods6. I hate hot weather (over 80), yet I live in Southern California and it is 98 today.7. I hate my college/my college experience so far.8. I am a white boy, but I am a Spanish minor. I have taken so much Spanish though, that I tend to give the Spanish pronunciation of everything (Meheeco not Mexico, Tejas not Texas, Puerto Rico not Porto Rico and the same holds true in names like Carrillo I say Carreeyo). People who are not Mexican and people who are Mexican look at me surprised when I do this, but it is a habit I've picked up. In normal conversation when i'm talking with white people it comes off tacky, I will admit, but its a habit as I said. I probably sound like Laura Diaz or Leeenda Alvarez on KCBS 2 who tend to hispanicize a lot of words that don't need to be.9. I have never been drunk.10. I have worn retainers for nearly 7 years.10 favorite foods1. Rib eye steak2. hashed browns3. spaghetti (only homemade and only my mom's spaghetti)4. tacos and cheese enchiladas5. chocolate chip cookies6. artichoke chicken7. good soup8. manicotti9. my mom's homemade pizza10. cheesecake10 wants1. a new car2. to graduate quickly3. to get a raise at work/get a higher paying job4. meet more guys in the area5. to continue working out at the gym and get a better looking chest6. to become closer to friends7. to hang out with my coworkers more8. a better voice9. for our house to be done NOW10. to be less shy10 things you must have1. socks- I get cold easily2. money3. gas for the car4. a car5. my computer6. friends7. food8. dental floss9. family10. security10 things you've done this year you didn't think you would1. experiment more with guys2. met more guys/met The Guy3. drank more alcoholic beverages this year than in all my previous years4. went to a house party with my cousin5. passed my sports journalism class (there must have been quite a curve)6. stood up to a lot of people like the principal where I work, which I didn't think I'd do7. made the Dean's list Winter quarter8. gone out 3-4 nights a week this past quarter9. made soooooooo many excuses to get out of the house10. took a stand that I will not take my sister to school anymore10 things you are scared of1. birds2. losing people I am close to3. rejection4. failure5. outing myself6. the unknown7. the future8. change9. the dentist10. bad stuff10 dislikes1. laziness2. my sister3. really spicy food4. Carls Jr/Green Burrito5. liars6. school7. stupid people/uneducated people8. closed-minded people9. cereal10. Harry Potter10 things you want to do in the next year or two1. have a relationship with someone2. graduate college3. buy a new car4. travel more out of California5. get a raise/higher paying job6. break into the journalism field7. substitute teach8. be less shy9. come out? (no clue... just throwing it out... I'm confused here)10. win the lotto10 places you want to go before you die1. Egypt- to see the pyramids2. Spain- to speak Spanish and for the food3. Seattle4. Niagara Falls5. Death Valley (in the winter)6. the east coast7. more of the midwest8. small towns where everyone knows each other9. Boston10. Atlanta Georgia10 hot celebrities1. Reese Witherspoon2. Nick Lachey3. Jake Gyllenhaal4. Ben Affleck5. Jennifer Aniston6. Matthew Perry7. Andy Roddick8. Mark Hoppus (Blink 182)9. Faith Hill10. Jennifer Nettles from Sugarland
Posted by Mike at 5:50 PM 3 comments
Labels: Random

Saturday, June 23, 2007
Weekend with The Guy
The guy text messaged me (because I had it turned on last night after getting a text from the guy I met at Nordstroms last Saturday) about 11 this morning inviting me over to his house. He told me to bring my sister's new MacBook and he'd install Microsoft Word on it etc. Got to his place and we talked and then finally got down to business installing the stuff. Then he configured and showed me some really cool stuff that you can do on the computer. I am impressed.He got the mail as we were leaving and he got online to pay his cable bill. Apparently his sister pays for that? I think though, from what I've gathered that his parents are paying for him to go get his master's degree and most of anything he may need. Then his brother and sister pay for things like his phone and cable etc. It comes off to me that his parents/siblings want him to be happy and whatnot and so they support him. He just works (from what I gather) to buy all the electronics and whatnot he is buying. I want my parents to do that for me when I'm 32.Then we went to Best Buy and he talked about buying a BlueRay DVD player. Instead he just got some CDs. We went to YumYum Donuts to get lunch- we were going to get their sandwiches, but they didn't have any that appealed to us. We went to CVS for bread and then made sandwiches back at his house. Made some turkey sandwiches with mayo and cheese.Then we retreated to the couch and he showed me the iPhone preview on how to use it. Then we hugged and I took off. He wanted to take a nap before going out with friends for the evening.I came home in the meantime, had dinner, then my dad, mom, and I went to the gym. As we were coming home The Guy called and I answered. He wanted to know if I'd go to Best Buy with him to help him get an entertainment center we saw when we were there earlier. I said yes.We spent 2 hours at Best Buy from 8-10p.m. trying to track down the nearest store that had it. It was $1,400!!! I wouldn't have paid more than $200. It looked that cheap, but that was me, and I gave him my opinion. Anyways, after we went back to his place and we watched TV and then he asked if I wanted to spend the night. I was talking to him when he was drunk on Friday night (hah) and he was able to remember I was telling him our A/C at home went out and my room was 90 degrees at 10p.m. He felt sorry, so invited me to spend the night in the nice cool air at his house last night.Called my dad and told him I was spending the night at a friend's house and he said ok. We retreated to the bedroom and made out, sucked each other off, then grinded up against each other while making out. He was licking my ears, which REALLY turns me on. We laid in bed for a while, then decided to watch "Saved," that movie was TOOO funny!!! Then I went to the liquor store for cooler ranch Doritos (and nasal spray since I didn't know I was staying the night and I didn't want to snore all night and I was in my dad's car, so my spray wasn't in his car). Anyways, got back and we finished watching the movie. Then we hugged, kissed, said goodnight.I was kind of thinking we'd lay close together, but NO... the guy doesn't even sleep all the way on the bed. He pulled the pillow down to about the middle of the bed and then let his feet hang over the edge. He laid down there with the dog (he has a BIG dog). Then I was on the other side of the dog. His dog is always moving and last night was NO exception. He laid on the bed the whole night, but it seemed like he was kicking me every few minutes. There was almost no room for The Guy and I at various points because of the dog and The Guy has a king size bed. The Guy on top of that snored really loudly most of the night. We went to bed about 1 and woke up at 10. I was actually up probably at 8:30 because the light was shining in, but just laid until The Guy woke up.We got up, had cereal, then watched "Chronicles of Riddick." We went to Best Buy afterward and picked up the entertainment console he bought for his living room. We spent 3 hours setting it up. Then we had to take some time to make out. Then we were back at it putting his $25,000 entertainment center together. He is going to buy a 70'', $10,000 TV in September. My gosh. He has a 60'' TV right now. Anyways, it was another 2-3 hours on that. Then we had Pizza Hut delivered. Then we made out some more. Then we went to the bedroom and switched the entertainment center there with what was in the living room. When we were in his bedroom turning on his amp it suddenly caught on fire and we both blew it out. It was pretty funny, yet tragic. He was pissed off and we were both shook up. It could have easily caught other things on fire. Went back to the couch and made out more. We spent a lot of time talking about little things today, which was nice.
Posted by Mike at 5:55 PM 2 comments
Labels: Guys, My day

Friday, June 22, 2007
A confession: The California stop/roll
I admit. I am guilty of it. Apparently I have got a lot worse. I am a good driver, don't get me wrong, but I hate stopping at stop signs, so I have succumed to the California roll.In California, there is a thing called the California stop/roll. You don't actually stop at a stop sign, you just slow and roll through it if nobody is coming. It's just one of those things... not everyone does it... but there are a lot who do.On Tuesday night I was out with my sister. We were driving the way I go to school. There are 14 stop signs on that street and roughly 1 every 1/2 mile. Is that not an insane amount? Can you see why I get tired of accelerating only to slow down, come to a complete stop? My poor brakes.Well, driving with my sister on Tuesday night she was laughing after I went through the stop signs. I asked why, and she said that she was going to tell dad I don't stop completely at stop signs. I just roll through them. It is becoming a bad habit I realized. I denied to my sister and dad that I don't stop, but it is true. The streets I'm driving aren't that crowded and there is rarely someone there, so I just slow down, look both ways, and roll and that habit is becoming applicable to all signs I go through. That's how I'm rolling lately. But I need to stop, I admit. It could be dangerous and one time there may be someone I didn't see just because I glanced.My dad just said he has been in the car with me and noticed it too and got more of a kick out of what my sister had to say than anything. My dad just told me to watch out since he won't pay for my ticket if I get caught doing a California stop.I have made an extra effort in the past few days to stop at ALL stop signs whether it be in a residential area, not so populated area, or busy urban area. Admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery, right?
Posted by Mike at 1:07 PM 2 comments
Labels: Random, Sister, Thoughts

Thursday, June 21, 2007
My sis graduated
Met my cousin at 3p.m. (a full 2 hours before the graduation started). We got great parking actually in the school parking lot. There were about 20 people ahead of us in line for graduation. We waited 45 minutes until the gates opened. We stood around talking about school. I told her about school and how I'm graduating hopefully next summer. My cousin has been in college since summer of 2002 and changed majors sooooooooooo many times she still hasn't graduated and will finally graduate next spring. On the other hand, I graduated in spring 2005 from high school and I will hopefully graduate by summer 2008 from college WITH A MINOR IN SPANISH, just a quarter after my cousin who will just graduate with a degree in theater arts. Sad??? Yes. Is she jealous of me? Yes.Gates opened at 3:45 and we got front row seats in the bleachers, which were about 50 feet from the football field. It kind of sucks because you're so far away from the graduates and the sun was in our faces the whole time. Not sure how the camera photos came out. It was about 95 out and the hot sun was in our faces. My parents and sister were running late and made it at 4:10. My aunt and uncle were also running late- they were coming from LA from a meeting and made it at 5:15. They stood the entire graduation even though we saved seats for them (shame on us...heh). The bleachers were COMPLETELY full. I hate the whole ticket system. I don't have a lot of close family, but it causes problems for those who do since you can only have 8 people go. They really need to have the graduation at the community college like the other high schools who have less students.Anyways, the graduation was nice. They read the names really fast to speed everyone through. The graduation started at 5 and ended at 6:21. It was hard to get any good photos of my sister or anyone for that matter since you're rushing across the stage, but was also so far away. The principal who I have blogged about many times before made an ass of himself to say the least with just about the worst speech I've ever heard. He was talking about jellybeans in life and it was a whole mishmash of quotes about success... didn't make tons of sense.Afterward, we all took pictures with my sister and her friends. Then we took photos with all the family. My sister looked so mature in the photos. I can't believe she graduated.We went to TGI Fridays since that is one of the few places my sister will eat. A lot of students from the graduation followed. We got there before them, though and were seated immediately. We talked for 2 hours and ate. The food was good and the conversation was great. We talked about family, my grandma, my uncle's house he is building, our house, and stuff like that. My cousin and I sat next to each other, so we were able to have conversations of our own. It was nice to catch up with her. My cousin broke up with her boyfriend of 2 1/2 years, 2 weeks ago, so she wants to hang out with me more and go clubbing and stuff like that. Is she not the coolest cousin? I don't know many other cousins who go clubbing and stuff with their cousins. She is 23 and I'm 20.
Posted by Mike at 9:50 AM 1 comments
Labels: family, My day, Thoughts

8 things about me... TAG
The Rules: List 8 things about yourself. At the end of the post, tag and link to 8 other people. Leave a comment at those sites, letting them know they’ve been tagged, and asking them to come read the post so they know what to do.1. I have a hard time forgiving. A lot of this stems from my aunt and all the problems she has caused in my life. I don't forgive her for anything she has done to my mom, grandma, or me. I know it has caused me to be a lot more critical of people. I know it is un-Christian to not forgive, but I can't do it. I don't think time will heal the scars either. But once someone makes me mad (which takes a lot) I do have a hard time forgiving.2. I am good at listening.3. I have a hard time parting with money... my check register says otherwise this month, though.4. I have no problem being around my coworkers and pointing out flaws in what other girls are wearing. They do it to guys and I have to listen to it; so I do it to girls. They say "that guy really needs to pull his pants up," and I'll say like "that girl would look better if she weren't wearing a sports bra." Suddenly that makes me an expert on women's fashion and they have to ask me questions about their outfit and if their bra works for them, or if the jeans they're wearing look good. I don't know anything about women's fashion... I know what I like and doesn't look good, but that is the extent of my fashion knowledge.5. I am wearing boxers a lot less now and boxer briefs more often.6. I have no athetic ability whatsoever.7. My grandma taught me when I was little insects and bugs are icky and need to be killed. Now, I guess I'm catching up on that part of my childhood I was deprived. Now, when I see something like an ant crawling randomly, a fly, a spider, or something I stop and look at it, may play or aggravate it, then kill it. Is that wrong?8. I sing in the car- unless you ask me not to, I will. That's how my coworkers know "I'm bringing sexy back." A lot of the reason I sing is to embarrass them. I learn the pop songs they love, then sing them because I think I can do a better job.
Posted by Mike at 8:22 AM 1 comments
Labels: Random