Sunday, November 30, 2008

Thanks for keeping me sane

The Guy and I texted last night. He was having an interesting night and I was too. We were both going further in our relationships with people. He said he needed someone to hang out with today and thought I did too.

He calls me at 8:50 this morning and I was still laying in bed. I have a new bed/bedroom set. The bed is so comfy I just didn't want to leave the bed. I got up and ate once we talked and he told me to come over whenever.

I get to his place at 10:00a.m. He is working on the iTunes music server he is trying to set up. He asks if I think he should call technical support and he does. He doesn't get any results. In the meantime I tell him about someone I will be meeting this weekend. He was very supportive and gave me a pep talk, which was nice because it showed he was caring of this. Then came his news. HE FUCKED JOSH. So last night Josh and him were together. They were in bed and The Guy fucked Josh, then Josh fucked him. The Guy was telling me how amazing it was and how he had a great time. He told me about the day yesterday. After he is off the phone with technical support he runs around straightening up the house and telling me how he bought Josh $400 Dolce and Gabana sunglasses and close to $600 in jeans and clothes. Josh has never really had that person who just bought him everything. Josh, like me, is not one to spend a lot on a shirt. Josh was not going to spend more than $60. The Guy just told him you're getting it, so Josh got $600 in clothes. The Guy bought the Hugo Boss shirt he had meant to buy on our shopping adventure a few weeks back. He got it on sale for $65 instead of $135. The Guy tries the shirt on and models it for me, then he lays down on the bed to play with the dog. The Guy gives me some glutamine and really good pasta sauce because he bought in bulk again and has too many. I gladly take some. We talked about the Black Friday stampedes that killed that Wal-Mart worker, how disgusting that was, how Wal-Mart deserves a big ass lawsuit, and that The Guy told Josh he wants shoes for Christmas. The Guy said that he also wants Josh to free up a weekend next year to take a trip with him.

The Guy asks if I want to go swim. He had told me that I needed to bring my swimsuit when I was on the phone with him this morning. I said sure. We go to the country club and we change in the locker room while talking about Josh. Josh. Josh. Josh. Anyways, we go out to the jacuzzi and he turns it on. He has a hard time doing that. We chat some more. He tells me how he feels unfulfilled i that he is not getting his papers done for school and how he knows he can do it. He said I need to plan a study day with him and so I asked when. Tuesday we're going to study. I'm going to sit him down and we'll crack the books. I have a Spanish linguistics midterm I really need to study for. He tells me how Johs and him went to the South Coast Plaza last night and then everything that ensued. He tells me how he is bothered he is with Jackie and family today. I said not to worry. He tells me how his parents are against meeting Josh, do not want to, think Josh is not right for him, think that he is begging for trouble by choosing a straight guy. I said I agree and he talked about how I felt like I'm supportive, yet he knows my biggest fear is him being crushed. He said it is too late because what has happened has happened and he is glad for it, but scared of being hurt. I told him that the reason I was supportive is I'm better off today for knowing him. I told him how I was kind of like in Josh's position of being on the border of being labeled gay/straight and he wa that support I needed. He looked at me in the eyes and asked if I was serious. I said yes. He asked if I needed that support and I was about to cry and said yes. He got the idea and said "thanks," then followed it up with he doesn't think he does a lot and was surprised I mentioned he made me feel comfortable with myself, which Josh says.

Then we transition to the pool. I get in a lane and he does too. I swim, or try to swim 1 lap back and forth. I am not a good swimmer. I was taught to kick your feet a lot and some basic arm motions. I am not a fan of swimming, but recall that The Guy was a swimmer, a water polo and swim coach. He saw me struggling and told me to come over to his lane. He asked me to show him what I was doing, then he told me that he saw my problem. I'm not using my quads when I swim. I'm using my knees to kick and that is my problem. He told me to keep my legs straight and try to use my quads. He showed me the motion of the freestyle stroke and told me how to flip in the water. The Guy gave me his kickboard and then pulled me out in the water, had me watch him under water to see how his legs moved, and things like that.

We get out of the pool and go into the sauna. NOTHING HAPPENS THERE. There was on old wrinkled guy in there with us. The conversation was minimal- mainly me thanking The Guy for helping me swim. He puts too much water in the sauna and it pours out tons of steam. We were sweating badly and we ended up putting towels over our heads to be able to bear it. Troopers, we were. After, we get out, shower, and go back and put our clothes back on.

We go to a small market on the way home where he gets some ham hocks and black beans. He also buys fajita mix, some tenderloin for fajitas, and a few other items. We then stop at the florist for fresh flowers. The Guy has had fresh flowers in his house since Josh's birthday. He talked about what a nice touch to the season they are. We go in and look around, he picks out his individual flowers, then takes them up to the florist to make the bouquet. THe Guy spends $30, which he says is reasonable because the flowers are so unusual. I only know he had a couple daisies in the mix, but it looked very fall like. On the way he is telling me how Josh concentrates so hard during sex and The Guy is worried- like can you smile, laugh? Josh is constantly worried about keeping an erection.

We put the groceries away at home and he chops up the onions, the bell peppers, and chiles for the black bean soup. We talk about not overpowering the soup too much with peppers where it is inedible. We then "PLEDGE." The Guy cleans up and we run the vacuum, then dust, hence the Pledge. I even dust the blinds. The Guy talks about how he feels like he doesn't do enough for me. I told him about my bedroom and hinted in a bad way I could really use a new TV. He asked what he has given me- a DVD player, but that's about it. He asked if I had an Apple TV and reminded him he said he might get me one for my birthday. He forgets sooo much.

As we're standing in his bedroom after he cleans the electronics and I clean the blinds Mike calls. Remember Mike? Mike who is continuing to harass me. He did the same thing. He called Thanksgiving wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving. Then he called Thursday night asking if I wanted to go shopping at the outlets. Then he called at 8a.m. Friday wanting to know how my Christmas shopping was going. The Guy laughed when he called and I gave him the phone. The Guy picked up and the conversation like this:
The Guy: Hello
Mike: Is Mike there?
The Guy: Mike is here. This is his friend The Guy.
Mike: Where's Mike?
The Guy: I just said Mike is here. Mike doesn't really want to talk to you. You don't seem to get it. Mike has told you very nicely several times that he is not interested in you. You have talked to his dad (he hasn't, but he told Mike he did last week when he also picked up the phone), now you're talking to me.
Mike: Mike never said that.
The Guy: Ok... dude... maybe you're playing stupid, but he really doesn't want to talk to you. You need to take this number out of your phone, forget him. Mike, do you want to talk to him?
Me: I raised my voice and said no.
The Guy: Please, erase this number.

The Guy chats with Zack on AIM and a few other friends while I sit next to him and he obsesses over Josh. I keep reminding him to stay in the moment. He lights candles and stuff in case Josh comes over.

Then we decide to go to CVS to get laundry detergent since he wanted some special color soap. Then he gets zip lock bags, lots of zip locks since they're on sale. Then he buys 700 Christmas lights since he wants to get in the holiday spirit. He talks about how he has hung garlands from his carport in the past. We get the stuff, then spend about 20 minutes in the body soap aisle. He is tired of his Aveda Rosemary bath gel and it is expensive. We open nearly every bottle and smell every flavor. He finds one or two he likes, but says they're "too cheap." He says we need to go to Sephora; so we find our way in the car on the way to Victoria Gardens. In the car we chat about Josh again. He said his mom made a comment that The Guy doesn't date guys who are at his level. He always dates down. He doesn't date guys as well educated. I said I agreed. He said it is true and gave me a couple examples of Danny, which was the last person he introduced to his parents and was a couple years back. His parents never met his ex Mike. He vouched for Mike saing he was getting his degree. I said I think Josh is one of the better guys he has talked about, but I wanted to know what he saw in him. I said he is goal oriented and that is a good thing. He wants to be a firefighter. Josh said that is it; Josh is so passionate and has the drive. He might not be able to discuss semiotics with Josh, but he could explain it and he would listen. He treats Josh as an equal and lets him boast about firefighting, and how he is into his field.

Sephora closed at 7. Victoria Gardens closes so early on Sundays. The Guy was upset because he went out all this way, he was so underdressed, and there were still people shopping at 8:05 in the store when we arrived.

We go back to his place, I reiterate how he needs to focus on himself. He assures me he is ok. We put the CVS stuff away and the soup still isn't ready. He makes me a smoothie with peaches. It was delicious. We drink that; that was no dinner. Oh well. We hug, then I say goodbye at 8:20 or so.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Pee and more

I get to The Guy's house at 5p.m. and have to pee. He is in the office watching "Zohan" and about to fall asleep. He asks if I brought my computer. I did and we go into the living room to get it out. He plays around with it and it doesn't act sluggish or slow when he is using it. I get up shortly after and have to pee. He is on looking at TVs in the meantime. He is still going to get Josh a TV. The Guy's a/c or heat kicks on and it says to "change filter." His thermostat talks! He gets up, changes it, and I run to the bathroom. The Guy and I go to the kitchen for dinner. We have some turkey sandwiches like the other day. Delicious with that mustard sauce. The Guy talks about how sleepy he is and we go in and lay down on the bed for about an hour and 20 minutes. He asks about my dad and I tell him. I said "not good," which caused him worry. My dad's recovery has not been well. He is not doing well. I don't really want to talk about it, but I had a hard time not crying in The Guy's bed. I did let out a few whimpers, but I managed to remain strong. The Guy gets up and asks if I want to go to Best Buy.

We go to Best Buy and look at TVs. We talk about how stupid the people are camped out for Black Friday in the rain with their canopies and tents. Nothing is worth spending 2 days, you're not saving a lot of money, and there is no fun in the crowds we deduced. The Guy is getting Josh an LG 40'' TV for Christmas. He asked what I wanted for Christmas and I said I don't know. I decided after he asked me I'll just say that I have some things I like, but I don't need anything and mention some of the things I like and he can choose. He asked if I wanted a Nintendo Wii. I said I don't know. If he was willing, I would have gladly accepted one. The Guy returned an external hard drive and Apple Router, which totaled over $500, so he figured he could spend $239 for a Wii. He said for Josh. I said no. He said maybe as an activity when he goes to Josh's house. I said ok to that.

In the car on the way to Best Buy and on the way back I tell The Guy about the date with Chris, the Puerto Rican guy. He was hung up on the 2 issues I was. Chris only shops Abercrombie and Hollister. Clothes are not everything. He realized we're both extremely organized, go-getters, but he isn't as balanced as I am, or he may be more of a workaholic. Either Chris is really upfront with me and I have to deal with that, or he isn't. What I mean is sex. He talked about only wanting it once a week. Maybe he is being very upfront and honest, or not. He deduced we need another date. The Guy couldn't come up with a good 3rd date. That's where I need your help.

What would a good 3rd date be? I want to show my spontaneity with this guy. I want something fun, maybe dinner and ___. I told Chris I was spontaneous and want to show that. He'll probably say ok to whatever, but he'll have to work his schedule around it. Soooooo what would a good date be? Any ideas? I'm open to anything...

I went back to the bathroom to pee, then The Guy told me how I've peed nonstop tonight, how the bathroom is still there, and then he told me I looked well. He said my texts to him today were witty and sarcastic. Josh was running late training, so we pushed our hangout from 4:30 to 5:00. I texted him to tell Josh that he needs to get on the ball and that it was ok. The Guy said he knows my world is crumbling, yet I'm still picking myself up, which was so nice to hear.

Monday, November 24, 2008

My fantasy: My ultimate birthday

The Guy just gave Josh, his personal trainer, the ultimate birthday in my mind. I was thinking when I was showering tonight what would my ultimate birthday be? I would love to have some sort of ultimate birthday experience like that where a friend/boyfriend plans it all, takes me out, and I'm just along for the ride/enjoyment, as well as surprises along the way.

Some ideas in my mind that could be fun...

Scenario 1: Vegas
A Vegas trip like Josh's, except instead of seeing Phantom of the Opera, we see the Blue Man Group

Scenario 2: The best of So Cal
A day in LA getting lost and seeing the best of LA/Hollywood. Sightseeing definitely, massages ... and... A broadway play? A fancy restaurant in LA/Hollywood? A night at a nightclub?

Scenario 3: Roller coasters
A friend and I go to Disneyland, then brunch at the Blue Bayou Restaurant inside the Pirates of the Caribbean ride (Only because I've never eaten there- I'm not sure how the food is, but it seems really romantic/quiet), then shopping in Downtown Disney, off to Knotts Berry Farm for more rides and fun. Then end the day shopping at the South Coast Plaza or Irvine Spectrum or some other shopping place and dinner.

Scenario 4: City tour
Half of the day in San Diego sightseeing, then up the 5 to stop at the beach. Blacks Beach maybe? Then on to Orange County for some random event (shopping, food, etc.) Then up to LA/Hollywood for a fancy dinner/shopping/play/club.

Scenario 5: The shopping mall experience
The Grove in LA, Victoria Gardens or Ontario Mills, The Camarillo Outlets? Desert Hills Premium Outlets in Cabazon? The outlets at Stateline? Of course I'd hope that because it were my birthday my friend(s) would pick up the tab. ...And a massage would be needed at the end of that long day!

Scenario 6: The Madonna Inn
I have been here twice in my life. I love all there is to do along the Central Coast like Solvang, Santa Barbara, and San Luis Obispo, which are all beautiful places. I'd love to take a trip up there with a friend, visit one or some of these places, then eat dinner at the Madonna Inn, and spend the night there. I've only eaten in the restaurant and the steakhouse, but never been able to stay in the hotel. Each hotel room has a different theme and there are probably 50-100 rooms I'm guessing if I recall right. It would be cheesy, yet cute, to do with the right person.

The Caveman Hotel Room

The steakhouse

I'm just saying given that my birthday is a little over a month away................

What would your ultimate birthday be? Has anyone ever had one of those ultimate birthdays? HAHA

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Starbucks Date- Chris

I have been texting Chris back and forth since we met up that day at Starbucks. He would text me things like "I just spent the past 4 hours standing" to which I'd reply "ouch- at least it is lunch now and you have 30 minutes to SIT and relax." He'd respond with an "LOL" or something like that. Then Wednesday of this week we were going to meet up, but he had to work overtime and was not in good humor about it. He said for me to text him something funny. I told him a random blond joke. Then I had another bad groaner joke: "what type of insect loves money," or something to that effect. The answer was an account-ANT. Ok I figured after he replied to those... he can stand my humor. I also texted him saying that Lindsay Lohan was floured the other day by PETA. I said I just love that hot mess- not. So Wednesday didn't work out and with the family stuff going on with me Saturday worked better.

I texted him- notice I keep saying text- he only texts, but claims if I call he'd pick up. He hasn't yet. HAH I texted him this afternoon asking if he was still interested about 11:20 when I was out with The Guy. He texts back soon saying probably. We chat all afternoon via text about where to meet etc. etc. When I got home from my outing to Monterey Park I quickly type up my blog about last night with The Guy/family, text him several times, then hop in the shower. It is 6:15 when I leave and we're meeting at 6:30.

At 6:30p.m. right under the freeway down the street from The Guy's house there is an alcohol checkpoint. So it makes me late. I needed the full 10 minutes it takes to get from The Guy's to BJs. We meet at 6:35 and I tell him what happened. Well, I wait outside the restaurant. I text him only to find out he has the table I reserved and he is inside.

We get inside and he asks me how my day was, where I went, etc. etc. I told him and then he told me about his day and buying the new touchscreen Blackberry. He tells me how he shops at 3 different grocery stores, so grocery shopping is an all day thing. We talk about what we did this past week. I tell him about my classes and he tells me about work. I was hesitant to tell him about my dad and I just did because he said I seemed really bored when I texted him yesterday. I watered down the story though. I bring up how I know he takes the train to work and ask how that works like when he works late and is late. He said it doesn't matter because he works for the government they encourage him to ride mass transit. He told me about a birthday party he went to last night at the gay nightclub in the city I live in with a friend who goes to my school. Her name wasn't familiar. We talk about cooking and I tell him what I like to cook and he tells me the same. We talk about Thanksgiving and all of our responsibilities with who makes what. We talked about music- I talked about being at work the other day and having a student who was singing Womanizer as she walked in look that word up in the dictionary. We talked about Rihanna, that she was only 19, and things like that. They played a really old Toni Braxton song while we were in there and I was able to identify who it was, though I wanted to say Alliyah. He was surprised and told me he was shocked I knew that. HAH. We talk about food we've had at BJ's. He had chicken parmesan and I had a chicken barbecue sandwich that was very good and fell apart in the last few bites of the last half. That was unfortunate. Overall, the quality was very good. He asks if I want to see a movie afterward. I said sure and we talk about various movies. The only one I could think of was "Nick and Norah." He wasn't agreeable to that and I said "well, there is 'Twilight'"to which he said he wanted to see that. He said he heard bad things about it. I said I heard only good things because mainly it was girl-friends who were seeing it. Gonzo had already sent me half a dozen texts of how she was "SWOONING"- major emphasis on SWOONING over Edward Cullen. I told him what she said. Someone fainted in the restaurant while we were eating, so that was also a source of something to talk about.

The Toni Braxton Song I was able to ID in the restaurant. It won't let me embed.

We decide to leave the restaurant at 8p.m. and arrive at Ontario Mills 5 minutes later. He finds a parking space in the very first row in front of the theater where I have to park 7-8 rows away. That is no biggie. We meet outside of the theater and I see him again standing like I'm now beginning to picture him. Nicely dressed guy, 5'11'', Puerto Rican, his square glasses, tall and slim, left ear pierced, always holding his Blackberry in his hand, always wearing a long pea coat, and fitted jeans. He asked where I park and we buy our tickets. I run to the bathroom and he waits for me. When I come back he is sitting with his legs folded over looking at his Blackberry. Then we go in the theater and he is amazed by how large it is, how there are so few people there, and things like that. We sit in the middle about halfway up in the theater. We talk about phones, bad commercials, and random smalltalk I can't remember.

During the movie Chris sat with his hands like he was praying. I was moving mine all over trying to get comfortable. These seats weren't as comfortable as he thought. During the show when there was a funny or particularly bad part he would smile and chuckle, then mutter "oh no." I think we all laughed at pretty much the same points. It was scary in the baseball scene in the movie "Twilight" when the vampires were playing baseball because the theater went dark as the ball was being pitched toward the screen. The theater was silent, then a bunch of kids started laughing, then we asked what each other thought of the movie. He thought it was cheesy and there was bad acting. I agreed with the bad acting. I also commented on how the book was written where it seems like not a lot of dialogue is exchanged between the characters, everything is short and choppy coming from this teenage girl's mind. I am only about 80 pages into the book right now. A couple minutes later the manager comes in and tells us it will be about 10 minutes, so we sit and talk, while the teens in the theater run around and play. When the movie resumes it is over halfway over and I thought the story just went downhill. I wasn't impressed with the ending- I guess the story didn't seem convincing. Even though it is not a non-fiction story I like some believability, but for me, it was hard to find that balance. Maybe the book will be better. Maybe I'm just being a tough critic because Gonzo is insistent I read the book and I'm telling her how I don't want to. Plus my sister made fun of me when I asked her for the books because she is a cunt like that (that's The Guy's new name for her).

The movie ends and we talk about the delay for the new "Harry Potter" and how sad he is about that. Then he says that he had a good dinner, saw a good movie, and got a free movie, so he had a good night. I agreed it was a good night and thanked him. He said that he needed a hug and extended his long arms out and we hugged for a moment. I felt really weird doing it. Not weird in that it was anything against him, but being in a less accepting area where 2 guys embrace, plus a lot of teens around. Oh well. I'm glad we did hug because his hug just sort of warmed my spirits.

I texted him when I got back to The Guy's thanking him for the evening. He texts me back saying he loves my hugs and that I'm definitely a good hugger. I tell him to have a good night and sleep well at about 11:30.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

I am not well

The past 2 days have been miserable. I am not going to go into tons of details, but my dad had his surgery the other day. My dad broke some bones in the upper part of his leg that the doctor had to operate on and repair, as well as cut out some inflamed tissue that was causing him excruciating pain up and down his legs and back. There was good and bad to the surgery. Good in that the surgery went ok and that he should be able to walk in a few months after physical therapy and other things. Bad in that he is very loopy, even today, because his blood pressure is so low. He spent the day at Kaiser with my mom. I spent almost all day at Kaiser yesterday with my mom and sister waiting for my dad.

It was 7p.m., and nearly a 7 hour surgery before my dad had woken up and the surgery was complete and we could pick him up. I call The Guy about 6p.m. and he asks how I was holding up. I told him how bored I was and he said he felt really bad because he knows I really needed someone and he wasn't there. That hurt me badly. I was feeling fine most of the day and was pretty strong throughout the whole procedure even though it was a very serious procedure. I just told The Guy it wasn't a big deal. Then I texted him telling him how I felt bad that I didn't call when I needed someone to lean on. He was going to dinner with Jeff. He had been going to take Josh out, but Josh broke plans with The Guy to go with Jackie. They went to PF Changs.

I get a call about 8p.m. from The Guy asking how I was holding up. I wasn't holding up well. I picked my dad up at 7p.m. or so, then we weren't in my car even 5 minutes when my world came crashing down. My aunt in Nor Cal did something that was so rude, so hurtful, and just so bad. It made a difficult day even more difficult. My dad and I get to the restaurant where my aunt and uncle are, then eat. We eat at Norms. It was disgusting food. I will never go back. It was so bland and dry. Anyways, dinner constituted my dad being extremely forgetful and asking the waitresses name over 30 times. That was the only thing going through his mind. I had to tell my mom about what happened, which broke her down, but what my aunt did could not wait no matter how things were just trying to get back to normal. Then my aunt and uncle had to hear that, which made it more difficult because of the money situation, but also because they're just as sick and worried as we are.

We get back to my house and my aunt and uncle come to help my dad. The conversation then turns to money. They see our newly carpeted bathrooms, then my sister says "well, you should see Mike's room; it is bare and it has nothing in it, but he wants a new $3000 bedroom set." Thanks sister. Then she says that I'm the greediest child because I just dropped $300 at Banana Republic and the only reason she knows about it is because my dad made an issue about having to buy all of that stuff. He owed me, though. Thanks sister for embarrassing and humiliating me in front of my family. The whole reason the money issue came up is because now we're having to pay even more for a lawyer (and we've paid close to $50,000 already); we are currently remodeling our house; and because my mom's boss doesn't like her, he cut one of her classes forcing her to take a 20% pay cut. My parents were talking about how this can't continue and how they've tapped into their retirement etc. etc. This stuff worries me because it is their future, but also money is so tight every month, and I don't ask for a lot, but dumbass sister makes it sound like I do. My uncle kept saying he'd give money whenever needed, but that's not the issue. The issue is what my aunt did.

The Guy called at about 9p.m. and I tell him how my world just came crashing down and everyone is so worried. We knew this would happen, but it was a matter of when. We have to act by MOnday to do anything if there is a chance, but my aunt could be in a lot of trouble. Anyways, I tell THe Guy and he asked if I wanted to get out. I did. I ask if I could spend the night because I'll just be turning around and house sitting for him this weekend. He says fine as long as I don't mind sleeping on the couch. I didn't.

I pack my weekend bag because I was going to be house sitting for him when Josh and him go to Vegas for Josh's birthday. When I got to his place there was a balloon and vase of flowers. Josh stayed the night Thursday night, then Friday The Guy and him both had to get up early. The Guy was trying to overcompensate because he broke up with Jackei the night before.

I tell The Guy my problems about why I was feeling so bad being a target of my sister's. He told me to snap back, only focus on the future, not to question her ideas, or give my sister any power by that. It is so hard when I feel so bad because I don't feel like I ask a lot from friends (like The Guy monetary-wise or for things like him to hang out with me like it would have been nice Friday). Then I don't think I ask a lot from family- I may splurge on clothes once or twice a year, same goes for big items. The Guy didn't seem to understand. I was fed up and wanting to walk out. I told him I was going to. He finally said he's not helping. He said he can't see any of this. Still, today, he doesn't know how much his dad makes. He always, always had money. He gets his parents hand me downs. His parents are well off. His parents never ever mentioned the word money- it was just always there, so he doesn't understand what I'm going through but feels so bad because it is eating me up so much.

We talk even more and I talk about how my aunt's actions are also hurting me because of the emotional attachment to what she did, then the worry about the future, how things will play out, money, and things like that. Again, The Guy wasn't very open and he was just telling me to get over it, but it is so hard. I gave up and told him forget it. He didn't want to, but I said YES and with a little more talking I was better able to explain how I felt.

Again, we talk about friendship. He talked about how this is eating me up and it pains him to see how I'm so focused on the past. I don't think I am. I was just questioning whether my sister's points were valid, and again, he didn't see that. We talked. We talked about friendship and how we aren't always there for friends and how he understands how I was hurt and even a short text would have probably meant the world. I understand he was in a spiral because Josh broke up with Jackie, then when The Guy got home in the afternoon Jackie was at The Guy's house and Josh and Jackie were suddenly back together.

We take some Tylenol PM to sleep, then call it a night at 11p.m. or so.

We both wake up at about 8:30. The Guy plays some WOW, then we get ready about 9a.m. He asks if I have gas in my car. I said I didn't know. He tells me how he still doesn't know about the watch. I said NO. I told him to keep it for later, give it to himself, etc. He didn't believe me. He called Zach. Zach didn't pick up, but calls back a little bit later and says that Josh has done nothing. The Guy tries the watch on and says it isn't him. He'd want one with a metal instead of plastic band. The Guy says he doesn't want it. Zach says to do it after all he has done, as a little reward that he is still sane after being so caught up in everything. He agrees. In the car as I drive him to Ralphs he takes pics and texts Zach and sends the pics. Zach approves of the watch. The Guy also talks about how he is not sure why he is doing all of this for Josh. He never does this stuff for Jeff, Zach, or I. That was reassuring and I was glad he realized it.

We go to Ralphs so he could get snacks for the trip up- carrots, strawberry smoothie, pitas from Pita Pit, ice, an ice chest, and some other stuff. All healthy. The Guy tells me how he has an itinerary for the trip he made. It is about 10 pages with a picture of the roulette wheel, Vegas map, then a schedule like the trip up, what they'd do every minute etc. I told The Guy it was really cute, but definitely overkill. He said he wanted to give it, then tear it up. I discouraged that. He said I'm right- it is his fear about everything like the future and having to have it planned out and be perfect. The Guy gives me his Arco gas card and I go and fill up my car. It only takes $18 to put 9 gallons in my car. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?

Also on the car trip we listened to Gloria Gaynor's "I will Survive," "More Than a Woman" by the BeeGees, and "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol.

I drop The Guy off to get his rental car. I wait a few minutes, then he texts saying all is ok. I drive back to his place. He rolls up a few minutes later in a black 2008 Cadillac CTS. He rented a car for Josh and him. He was upset it wasn't a Mercedes or Infiniti and protested, but it was a pretty nice car. He packed, showered, then I gave him my iPod cord (car charger and AUX adapter) for the Caddy. He looked good in the Caddy. No joke. Black shirt, black sunglasses, black hair, haha

He takes off about 12, and I do too to get food.

This afternoon I drove down to Monterey Park for food. That is a 30 mile drive, but I haven't been to LA in a long time and wanted to go. I went to a favorite Chinese food place of mine. Then I realized I was on Atlantic, which turns into Telegraph Road, which was near the outlets. The Citadel Outlets. I had never been, had heard about them, especially on HOT 92.3. I drove down there and it was a mess. Parking? Miles away. Good deals though- 2 pairs of Levi's for $45, a few gifts for my aunts at the Corningware/Pyrex store. Would I go there again? NO. It was junky, crowded, and not worth it. It made me sad. Leaving was a challenge because of the Christmas tree lighting ceremony at the outlets. I end up winding through the streets of Commerce and East LA and I do drive by The Guy's dad's business which was a neat feeling to see it in person, though it was nothing special; but also it just kind of made everything seem more real.

Pictures are acting funny, but if you enlarge you can see how junky these outlets appear being off the freeway in an industrial area.
Why did I pet sit this weekend? Jeff wanted to do it for The Guy, but I knew I would want out of the house because I'd be going crazy. My aunt and uncle would be there for my dad at his every beck and call, plus too many people in the house would make it crazy. It was yesterday just being at Kaiser with everyone. My dad is doing ok tonight- he is stable- so things could change. But I knew I'd need a break. I was going crazy and the thing that happened with my aunt does effect me, but I can't really do anything to help. I had no clue this would also happen, but I knew I'd need a vacation and pet sitting for him was a vacation. I am there for my family, but this weekend I wouldn't have been much help.

How much did The Guy spend on Josh?
$25 money clip
$100 iPod headphones for Sunday afternoon when The Guy meets Josh's parents for lunch
$300+ rental car
$325 hotel room at Bellagio
$100+ I'm guessing very conservatively on dinner at a sushi restaurant in the Bellagio
$20 flowers and balloon
$1 card
$330 for 2 tickets to Phantom of the Opera

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Putting things like my stalker behind me

I had talked with The Guy on Sunday night for about 3-4 minutes. It was an awful weekend for reasons I don't want to go in to. He said we'd hang out Monday night. I call him Monday afternoon and we're disconnected several times. Finally he says as fast as he can that "I'llbehomefrommworkoutat4:30,seeyouthen." So I got ready to see him at 4:30.

I get to his place and he is working on the iTunes music server he bought. He gave one to Josh already and he bought one for himself. He wants to buy me one for my birthday, along with an Apple TV ($750 or so). He was on the phone with tech support and they weren't able to tell him why M4V files weren't able to be recognized by the computer. Everything else was. They didn't resolve it and he researched online trying to solve it himself to no avail. Mike, date #2, called during this time. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and gave it to The Guy because he doesn't want him harassing me anymore. I had no clue what The Guy was going to say. Earlier he said he was going to tell Mike that The Guy was my boyfriend and he needed to go away. Instead he picked up the phone and said:

The Guy: Hello.
Mike: Hey, is this Mike?
The Guy: No.
Mike: Who is this?
The Guy: My name is The Guy.
Mike: What happened to Mike?
The Guy: There is no Mike here.
Mike: This is Mike. Where's Mike?
The Guy: Listen, there is no Mike here. I just got this new phone yesterday. What number are you trying to call?
Mike hangs up.

Another call comes a couple minutes later:
The Guy: Hello
Mike: Is Mike there?
The Guy: No, who is this? Didn't you just call?
Mike: My name is Mike. No, I didn't call. I'm looking for Mike.
The Guy: Please, don't call again. There is no Mike here.

While sitting there in the office, he tells me about his 2 new favorite bands- Band of Horses and Joshua Radin. He plays both for me calling Band of Horses like the Killers and Joshua Radin a folk, country, and rock mix. I agree that I like how both sound.

"No One's Going to Love You" - Band of Horses

After setting the system up we go to the Farmers Market for dinner. I tell him about Mike, date #2. Mike has been calling repeatedly everyday. No joke. He may call 5-10 times a day. I told him I can't really talk, I'm not interested. It got bad the middle of last night where he called me at 1:30 and 2:30a.m. one night. I didn't pick up the phone at 1:30 and sent the call right to voicemail, then at 2:30a.m. when he called my words were "FUCK OFF." Unless you are The Guy, Gonzo, or Darla, Mike, Steve, or one of you bloggers I chat with, you BETTER not be calling me at 1:30a.m. or 2:30a.m. Last Thursday I didn't blog about it, but I had been complaining to The Guy about Mike's nonstop calling and The Guy grabbed my phone, texting him, telling him that I'm not interested and fuck off. Did Mike get the note to fuck off? No, Mike said that it didn't sound like me texting, resulting in him still calling. This weekend it was particularly bad. He called at 8a.m. Saturday morning after I had been out until 4a.m. NOT HAPPY. Then I get texts from him all day Saturday and Sunday as I'm running around with my parents that say things like "hey, call me, u alive?" or the one that made me squirm because I was driving down the road with my cell phone in my cup holder and my mom was in the car next to me. He wrote "do you have HIV?" Ok... my mom was in the car next to me and I deleted his # from my phone, so it just showed up as (951) 316-______, but she could have seen. I know she was very interrogative that day afterward. The texts continued, "do you have gonorrhea?" "Do you have syphillis?" "Do you have genital warts?" HELL NO. I've played it safe (with a condom), have not been tested, but will be next week. But you can see how he drove me insane and he found a way he could really bother/shut me down and drive me crazy. The Guy said he felt bad for me and how he would have said "yes, I do have syphillis, maybe you need to get tested, I hope I gave it to you" and been a complete bitch like that.

At the Farmer's Market, I got the cart, and I actually pushed it through the store. That never happens. The Guy goes for his usual staples like stuffed grape leaves, bread, etc. Then he asks what I want. I said something light, yet filling. I said I could go for some chicken. He said he'd really like good sandwiches. That sounded good. I thought of a good roast beef sandwich. That could work. We get 3 kinds of cheeses, roast beef, turkey, and a spicy mustard. I'm not a mustard fan, but The Guy doesn't buy mayo, so that would have to suffice and it ended up tasting pretty good. We grab some smoothie juices for him, then head to the checkout singing "There Goes My Baby" by the Drifters.

At the checkout, The Guy asks me if I want to pet sit for him this weekend. Sure I said. He said Jeff could do it otherwise. I assured him it wasn't a big deal. We move the cart through the line, then I stand next to him in front of the checker. We check out with the curly headed guy. He isn't that friendly and doesn't seem to like The Guy because The Guy said NO when it came to buying those reusable grocery bags that are earth friendly. There was a real awkward, surreal feeling there at the checkout. It was like really quiet other than him and I, then the stares from the checker added to it. When we left he asked me if I felt the same thing and I assured him I did. He said that he is glad it wasn't him feeling that. The Guy talked about how he has a dog and how he may own a big recycling plant, so cashes in on plastic bags that way, which is why he still gets them. I joked and said yes. Then when he gets back to how maybe the bags are a good idea I say "but you have to remember to take them to the store." "Are you going to remember when you go to the store? No, you're going to be going in thinking about needing _x_ and you're not going to remember." I told him how my dad bought them, yet they stay out in the back of his car and we never use them. He agreed.

We talk about Josh on the way back. The Guy and him do nothing but flirt through text. The Guy told me about their weekend where they went shopping for workout clothes and had such a great time. Josh and The Guy talked after his breakdown Thursday. The Guy and Josh are back on the same page. The Guy cried in front of Josh. Josh feels very bad about everything. Vegas is still on this weekend. JOSH EVEN TOLD HIS MOM THAT HE IS POSSIBLY BISEXUAL- HE KISSED THE GUY. THAT'S SUCH A HUUUUUUUUUUGE STEP. Josh's mom said maybe it is just sort of a man crush. The Guy basically confronted Josh yesterday and said he doesn't think he is dealing with his real problem right now- his sexuality- and what Jackie represents to him, but that The Guy is a masculine guy and so everything is ok. The Guy doesn't have a hard time now, like he did last Thursday talking about Jackie. He thinks everything is going to change this weekend. He told Josh how he tends to overcompensate, think about the future, and he buys things for people when he is worried about losing them.

We ate our sandwiches, put groceries, away, and he played Warcraft and told me about the above. I get a blocked call on my phone and I knew it was one of 2 people- my house. We have a blocked number because my number isn't listed- both of my parents are teachers. The next possibility was Mike. I gave The Guy my phone and he picked it up. It turns out it was my dad. My dad didn't ask for me by name. He asked for me by my first name, which The Guy had forgotten. I go by Mike around almost everyone. My dad is really one of the few people that calls me by my first name, and the way he says it gives me chills. The Guy said there was nobody by that name here and hung up on him. Woops. He then said he thought Mike was disguising his voice. I called home and let my dad know that I was getting harassing calls, which was why The Guy picked up the phone. Not a big deal.

We go out to the jacuzzi and The Guy gets in. He talks about how he is just really at peace right now. We're only out there a short time, then go in. The subject is now guys and myself. I get upset and break down where The Guy spends an hour or so taking to me trying to calm me down. The Guy and I are standing in the kitchen and he uses a dozen egg analogy to show me there are a lot more guys out there. He was in a really playful mood last night, which was hard for me to be, especially after this past weekend and the past rejections. We talk about sex, being horny, and how we're both sure we're clean, but how we're going to get tested next week just so I can put the Mike and Greg incidents about sex behind me. No- I told you guys everything that happened between us, but the only thing was Greg was a scientist and he was very mathematical giving me the effectiveness rates of condoms, telling me the symptoms of various STDs, and STD infection rates. That was a little overwhelming when just talking about foreplay. Then Mike with himself being a closeted guy and his texts this weekend I was feeling down/worried etc. etc. At about 10:00p.m. we hug and call it a night. We text on the way home as I'm driving thanking him for being a good friend, for the night, and how I did feel better talking to him. My biggest challenge is just being honest with The Guy- he's someone I can trust, but I have a hard time saying something straight out. I always become worked up, something bothers me for a while, then I bring it out. I want to change that because he is such an incredible friend and he told me how friendships like mine are so important to him because he has been single for the past 17 years or so and has never had a long term boyfriend. I didn't know that and I felt so sorry for him.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Random thought in my life, take #___

Isn't it sad/strange that the Mormon Church, which is typically hated and looked down upon for things like polygamy (or at least the stereotype that is most often mentioned) can rise to power and tell everyone how they can't marry?

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Knotts- 1 year later

Some of you may remember I first hinted to Gonzo that I was gay. Remember, she was the first person I told. Well, here we are one year later and we just had our annual Knotts trip. It is for the program we tutor for. So how was the trip?

Here's some highlights. I picked her up at her house at 5:30. We drove down there and I was singing whenever we weren't talking. I let out a squeal when Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry" came on the radio and Gonzo said "what was that? You just did not do that." I laughed and started singing. She told me that my singing was weak, so I really got into it and she finally concluded on a scale of 1-10 I got a 5. I sang some Lonestar, "Amazed," and some Leona Lewis. Gonzo spent a good portion of the time driving down the highway looking through my radio stations for a song to sing, but became disgusted and gave me the radio back for me to plague her with country music. I remember around State College on the 91 Taylor Swift's "Picture to Burn" came on the radio and I had to sing that. I told her it is about an angry 18 year old girl who has relationship issues. All of her songs are about guys and relationships. She agreed she was angry and I told her about Joe Jonas and Taylor Swift being the entertainment guru I am. She told me I sound like a mad, angry, white woman singing that. We talked about Gonzo liking Chris Brown and how sexy he is. Gonzo also sang "The Way I Are."

On the way down we also talked about work, all the gossip there, and school. We talked about family like her mom, sisters, and my familia. I told her about my recent dates and everything going on in that department.

We got to Knotts at 6:40 and the party we were chaperoning started at 7. Our boss invited us over to Claim Jumper for helping her out. Her thing is if you go to Knotts, Mr. C, her husband treats. I had the best lettuce wedge salad and loaded Idaho potato with cheese, chicken, and zucchini. Mrs. C and the rest of the teachers didn't arrive until 7:30, so that gave Gonzo and I a good 30 minutes to talk about random stuff. We talked about my mom and her school coming. We talked about food and more about school. We also talked about how we've known each other since elementary school, hated each other, and then we didn't know each other well, even in Senior year, but we were instant friends once we were both hired as tutors and were inseparable. We talked about kids that we've tutored and things like that. Gonzo used to hang out with the Mexican group and the big school bully in elementary school, she was a tough little girl back then.

Mrs. C and her hubby arrived, Mrs. F and her hubby arrived, and new tutor Marcy, whom is Mrs. F's sister. We had back-to-back booths because of the wait. We talked about things like the Knotts trip, the prom the year I graduated and what a catastrophe Mr. C thought it was. We talked about plays. We talked about how we're not the party type. We talked about our alcoholic beverages of choice- none of us are big drinkers- we're all content with margaritas. We talked about computers. Also talked about Gonzo at my college and how she is liking it, and her interest in learning languages like Arabic. Mr. C paid for dinner as I said and it was SOOOOOO DELICOUS. It was after 9p.m. before we were done talking and eating dinner. Afterward, we all trekked down to Starbucks for coffee to help keep us awake because we were going to all be up until at least 2a.m.

We finally made it to Knotts at 10p.m. Mrs. C wanted to ride Pony Express, the new rollercoaster where you're sitting on miniature horses. In line we talked about WII, Guitar Hero, Rock Band, and phones. Mrs. C and I compared iPhones and talked about our favorite apps. All I can say is good myspace photos because of the minitature horses. Mrs. F and Mrs. C thought the ride was just perfect- not scary and not too jiggly. I was of the opinion it was too short. We made our way to the bumper cars, then to Boomerang. Long 1 hour wait at Boomerang. It was ridiculous. Mrs. C suggested it, then decided to not go on it 15 minutes after we were standing in line. Mrs. F also bailed, but she at least waited in line with us. We were annoyed at having to wait so long- it was 11:30 before we were out of line. Anyways, Gonzo and I spent time looking around in line at horrible fashions, horrible haircuts, and things like that. One guy had a Fresh Prince haircut, another girl had an eyebrow piercing that made her look like the devil, one tutor at her boyfriend's school he tutors at was in line with her group and she looked like she was having the most miserable time and not interacting with the kids. How sad.

After that long line we made our way to Fiesta Village for La Revolucion. This is where the group split up. Gonzo and I were the only ones who wanted to go, so Mr. and Mrs. F, Mr. and Mrs. C, and Marcy all went on Jaguar. Then they watched us after we got on La Revolucion. We got major cuts in line- the workers asked if there was a group of 2 and we happened to hear them standing at the back of the line and they let us go. We waited maybe 5 minutes. My mom's students from her school were behind me and they were jealous I think. On La Revolucion I was having the greatest time. Gonzo was across from me and she was giggling, we were making funny faces, and I wasn't holding on, enjoying that feeling of weightlessness. Too fun!!!

After we walked through Camp Snoopy over to Silver Bullet. Again, Gonzo and I were all alone, but that was ok. The others found something else to do. We waited in line with the only 2 kids from our school that we saw the entire night. I got to talk to Art, a student who I remember when he was a freshmen. He didn't do any work, he was told he was in danger of failing, and then worked really hard and got the most improved award in 2nd semester. Now he has a 3.84GPA and is soooooo outgoing. After this ride it was 1:00a.m.

Gonzo and I make our way to the car and it is 1:30 when we get there. On the way home we talk about how fun it was, then how I'm so good with freeway driving, and know the freeway system soooo well. On HOT92.3 they play "If I Were a Boy" by Beyoncé and Gonzo sings along. She let out a slight scream saying she really liked the song. I laughed, asked what it was, then put it back on. After the song was over, she informed me my homework was to go home and look at youtube for the video, then download the song. The song is catchy enough that I'm sure it will be downloaded in the near future.

Gonzo made the comment that she was soooooo worried about me last year after I first told her what I did about how I was gay. She was worried that I'd have to hide and bottle up all of my anger. She began asking questions like "who have I told?" "What kind of guys do you go for?" She also asked other questions about sexuality and I told her that basically now, if asked, I'm comfortable enough to not deny it and just tell. She was happy about that. We talked about my sister and how annoying she is and how she taunted me about sexuality a few months back causing Gonzo to lose all respect she had for my sister. We talked about tolerance, the Bible's stance on homosexuality, how we both view homosexuality as just another sin. She talked about how she read what I mentioned the other day on my blog about the Anti-Christ possibly being homosexual since Prop 8 came up and my mom's views on that. She said that she doesn't believe that part of the Bible and she was able to tell me that she read the piece and how Daniel in the Bible talks about the views of the future. We talked about my mom's response with Prop 8. We talked more about sexuality and guys. She asked a bunch more questions that I can't recall. She did ask in the middle if I was ok with her asking and I told her of course since they weren't like real prying or stuff to make me uneasy.

I drop her off at 2:25a.m.

I get home at 2:35 and I figure well, my dad and sister are SOUND asleep, so I'll get a shower and go to bed. I was starved, so I warmed up some homemade pizza my mom made earlier in the week and ate in my room. Then I took a shower. I was so tired and ready to crash. My mom gets home at 3:45 or so and I awaken to talk.

It was 4a.m. when I finally got to bed. I woke up at 7:30 and dozed until 9a.m. I'm exhausted now, but again, I can't sleep tonight.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Fallen for Josh

The Guy and I had planned to hang out on Tuesday, but Josh I later had an emergency. He failed his EMT test by 1 question and was really bummed. The Guy made him brownies, took them to his house, then they proceeded to make out for a while. Then Tuesday night they went to a basketball game with some trainers from the gym. Tuesday afternoon was a no-go. I was a little frustrated, but I knew we'd hang out for a nice long day Thursday. I'm also glad it was today because we cleared the uneasy tension that was in the air. We planned that today we would hangout for a few hours to talk, then he'd go to his exercise class at 6:30, then Josh and Jeff would come over for some WOW.

The Guy is one of those friends who I can tell when something is wrong. I can tell it in his voice and over the phone the past week or so I have experienced it. I knew it was all because of Josh. Josh, for those not keeping record is his personal trainer, the straight guy, with a girlfriend.

I texted The Guy after 1:30 when I got off work that I was on my way. He said that was perfect. I get to his place and he is sort of engrossed in the new Warcraft expansion pack. He had just got it an hour ago. Zach calls him a minute or two after I arrive, so they talk for a few minutes. I feel the awkwardness in the air and I become bitchy. Why? Who knows... I know The Guy is like this because he is having a hard time. He tells me that in a few minutes I'll be ready to play. I say bitchily that I need the disk, then I need help, I need to know where to go in the game, what to do, etc. I ask that we install quest helper and other things. He jokes about how I sound so hopeless and I make it sound like it is all of his fault. I was joking, and he knew it. It isn't out of my character to be bitchy like that, but the tension in the air was bothering me, so that was my response I guess. The Guy brings out a watch to show me that he said he bought to give to Josh the weekend they are in Vegas. He asked if it was overkill. Zach said it was. I said yes. The Guy told me about his presentation. Josh is so worried about his looks, The Guy was planning to have him preen himself in front of the mirror like he usually does before Josh goes out and then say there is something wrong and bring out a Tag Heuer watch. He asks if I know how much it costs. I knew it was expensive because I know The Guy, but said no. He said it was $2,800, but he found it for $1,400, but he didn't pay THAT much even. I said that I think it could wait until Christmas.

The Guy wants to take a nap about 4:50p.m. We go in the living room and he lays on the couch. 2 minutes later he is up and in the bedroom. In the bedroom we talk about me being frustrated with guys and I tell him about the Starbucks date the other day. I joked around with him and told him about how I miss sex with him when we were in the bed together- we weren't close- just at opposite ends. I'd like to think it wasn't me being selfish, but my subconscience or something.

Probably 15 minutes later The Guy is up and says he is tired, but restless. We go out to the jacuzzi and he offers me some shorts to go in. I accept that offer. We get out to the jacuzzi and I continue talking about my frustrations and he understands. Then he talks about how he is so bothered with Josh. He loves Josh. He has fallen for Josh. He is so supportive of him. He is worried though he is becoming too overbearing and his ego is so worried about the future. He can't just be in the moment, but he's worried that he will lose Josh as a friend. He worries that he'll lead Josh on too much and just be hurt. He is worried and he looked like he would cry any moment. He says he just needs to not plan and worry about the future. We talked about how we sense when each other is worried about something wrong and that Josh does it for him, he can do it with me, and with Jeff. I told him how it just hurts me to see how he may be hurt.

Out of the hot tub and 45 minutes pass in there. The Guy goes in, hops in the shower, then I shower after him. He tries on bright blue workout shorts and a white t-shirt for the gym. I joke and tell him to quit changing outfits. He tried a gray top, then a gray top with floofies. I tell him to go with the white. He says it might be too dramatic of a change. The Guy also shaves and brushes his teeth. I tell him to quit obsessing. He says Josh does this for him too. I said look, you're going to the gym. Josh is going to see you one of these days where you're not at your best, so don't worry. You're going to the gym to work out also, and you are to be recognized for going. Most people don't look half as good as you do clothing-wise or body-wise.

He takes off at 6p.m. and I talk to Dan in OKC for a few minutes, tell him about Josh. He is skeptical about Josh having a girlfriend on the side and shocked at how head over heels The Guy has become.

At 7:15 after I get off the computer with Dan I get a call from The Guy. He sounded really winded and I told him that he sounded exhausted. I heard sniffles, then asked what was wrong. He poured his heart out to me that he was the third wheel tonight. He told me how Josh was all over Jackie tonight. There was a comment that Josh made to not worry about anything. The Guy saw how girls were fawning over Josh and how The Guy was definitely the third wheel and he was so hurt. He is better than being the third wheel. He is worried he is constantly giving so much and supporting Josh so much, and he wants to be there for him. I mainly just listened. We talk some more and I put the bug in his ear that you're asking a lot out of Josh. I just said in a very nice way that I was in the same situation Josh was- not out and not accepting my sexuality- and if when I met The Guy we were suddenly dating like this, it would have been very hard family wise and also for myself just accepting my sexuality.

The Guy gets home after getting pizza and he smiles when he sees I brought in the 3 WOW expansion packs he ordered. He stands at the counter and tells me he doesn't know. He is just so lost. He told me how special Josh is to him. He values him for his friendship, the spark he brings, the support, and the happiness. He is scared to death of losing those. I wanted to scream out "THAT WAS ME." That was me with him this summer. He said he didn't know how to present this to Josh without making it an ultimatum of The Guy or Jackie (Josh's girlfriend). We talked and I mainly just listened, but told him how I'd feel. I can see it from Josh's position and I think that's what The Guy needed. I felt really good to be able to talk and we talked about how you don't have to give Josh an ultimatum- just let him know how you feel. The Guy said he is worried of scaring Josh away with this and I said that he's probably feeling the same confused feelings. The Guy said Josh always tells him how strong he is. I just told him to talk it out and let him know how you feel because it is eating you up.

I ate 2 slices of the pizza and Josh calls. He senses The Guy is having a hard time and they say they'll talk about it. I hurry up and get my stuff packed to take off. We do hug a couple times before I leave. We hug in the living room, we hug in the kitchen in the dining area, and then over by the washer and dryer. When we're standing in the living room I tell him "thank you for being the kind of friend you want to be for Josh (in reference to the friendship, the spark he brings (making me want to do better, making me excited to talk to him, etc.), and happiness. He had a huge smile afterward.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


Because I know I have a lot of LA area readers...

Gary Bryan, morning drive DJ on KEARTH 101 donated $600.00 to support Prop 8 (yes on 8 to ban gay marriage). I was listening to a story on ABC7 tonight where they said that, and many in the gay community are calling for a boycott of his morning show.

His morning show right now is #2 in the LA market right now according to

All I am saying is I am a KEARTH 101 listener because I like the oldies, but I plan to tune elsewhere. My iPhone has a better variety than KEARTH.

I looked up other morning DJ's like Shawn Parr (GoCountry 105), Sean Valentine/Irma Blanco (MY FM 1043), Mark Wallengren (KOST 103.5), Jeff Pope (KGGI 99.1), Brian Casey/Patty Banner (KOLA 99.9), Tommy Carrera and Scott Ward, better known as the Frogmen in the Morning (KFROG 95.1) all check out clear.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Sudden new guy- Starbucks date

Gonzo thinks I'm the biggest player. I was texting her last night and she was telling me how I refuse to settle down and I'm just out dating anyone and everyone. I told her about Greg and Mike. I am not trying to be a player and don't think I am. I am merely dating, which is a normal thing to do.

I get a message from a guy named Christian on connexion tonight about 3p.m. He doesn't have any pictures. He lives near Victoria Gardens, is 23, Puerto Rican, and 5'11''. He left a vague message, but we sent a few messages back to each other. What do you like? What do you do for a living? What are your stats? He is still at work, so he tells me I'll get pics when he gets home. By now we're chatting through his personal e-mail, which allowed me to search for his e-mail on myspace, facebook, and google him. I found him on facebook. I had his first and last name, so I checked him out and he seemed ok. A frat guy from a local private university.

A few e-mails back and forth, then we're chatting on AIM about jobs, school, work, family, and friends. Then he tells me that he is interested in taking it farther. He asks if I want to meet up tonight or tomorrow. It was nearly 8p.m. He had just got home from work at 7p.m. and had shown me his pics. He, as I said was 5'11''; 150lbs; Puerto Rican, looks on the black side, which is not really my type, but I'm not one to discriminate; sexy glasses, pierced ears, and a nice skinny build. We talked about where to meet. He said he was bad with decisions. I asked "coffee or smoothies." He chose coffee. I asked "Starbucks, Coffee Bean, or Gloria Jean." He was hung up on the fact I mentioned Gloria Jean. I said I had to throw that in because it rhymed with Coffee Bean. He called me a nerd. Then he asked where to meet. Between his house and my house there is no real halfway point. We decided to meet at the Starbucks outside of Ontario Mills at 9p.m.

I start on my way and get 8 miles into my trip only to realize I had to reset my cell phone and his phone number was no longer stored. For everything being so spontaneous and this meet I was worried. I said forget it and continued on. I made it in good time. I got there right at 9. I had AIM on my phone on in case he was online so he could send me his number. He wasn't. That was ok.

I get to Starbucks and I wait in my car for a second. I don't see him in any cars in the parking lot and I see a bunch of women in Starbucks. I walk up and put my jacket on. I see a guy in a white long sleeve Hollister buttondown shirt, blue vintage blue jeans sitting in the corner with a cup of coffee. I go in, introduce myself, then grab coffee. In the meantime he is thumbing around on his Blackberry.

I join him and sit down. We start talking about cell phones since I ask him if he is one of those addicted to his phone. We talk about iPhones, which spurs how I'm into technology, playing around on the computer, and the appeal of new gadgets and toys. He isn't really into computers and all of that stuff, but was fascinated that I am. He talked of his old roommate who was just like that. We talk about computers and Macs. We talk about school. He majored in Government and music. He worked in DC for a year, a local mayor, and now for another powerful politician. We talked about classes and things like that. He was asking most of the questions, but near the end I began asking the questions. I asked about friends and work. He takes the Metrolink to commute to LA, so that was an interesting conversation.

Starbucks closed at 10 and so we got up to walk out. We talked about how we enjoyed each others company and to text, call, or e-mail each other in the future. I said that sounds good. We shake hands and say goodbye. I get a text about 25 minutes after I left thanking me for the night and that we need to hang out again soon. I tell him likewise and joke about him and his text addiction.

So I guess now I'll shoot him some texts tomorrow. Maybe a good morning text? He is a hottie.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Ironed out some issues

The Guy and I chatted this morning about 7:30a.m. as he was driving into work. I had a tough night last night because of some "friend" issues and just my anxiety in general. Then we talked to each other this afternoon as I was in line at Chipotle trying to order my burrito. We texted this afternoon, then called, and decided we would hang out.

I get over to his place, walk in, and yell "HELLO!" Nobody responds, the dog doesn't come running. I think oh, they're in the office. I go in and see that wasn't the case. The Guy was laying on the bed and so was the dog. I pet the dog, set down The Guy's Macbook Air in the office, then come back and visit. I sit on the side of the bed with him and the dog and we talk. I told him about the friend issue again- thinking someone was your friend only to have them turn around, backstab you, and the trust issues. The Guy and I had talked earlier about how this person being older was able and in a position to do that. I thanked him for not being like that and how we are pretty equal in terms of our friendship.

The Guy says he doesn't want to sleep all evening, then not be able to sleep at night, so we get up. I had texted him twice telling him I had a case of the hungries and he didn't reply. He asks if I wanted some pasta he made. I said I did. He asked if I liked peppers, knowing how I don't like vegetables, didn't know if I didn't like peppers. I reminded him of the fajitas. I reminded him of our veggie convo. I do. He bought some red bell peppers, used some of the bruschetta from Halloween, sausage, olive oil, and pasta to create a delicious concoction. It was light, yet filling. The Guy dished me out a "Mike-sized portion." I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but we call the sensible portions I eat "Mike-sized portions."

We go over to the living room to eat it and turn on some "Last Holiday." It was just beginning, so we sit, watch it, and talk. He tells me about how he thinks Palin stands a good chance in 2012 and it scares him. We talked about how she is a typical American who doesn't know things like who is in NAFTA. He told me things are going well with him and Josh. They like to kiss alot. They've kissed, stared into each other's eyes, and things like that. Josh and The Guy grabbed a bite to eat today, they held hands in the car and both are becoming more affectionate with each other. He asked if I was ok with him telling all of this and I said yes. He told me about Vegas. He is taking Josh to see "Phantom of the Opera" in Vegas for his birthday, which turned into The Guy making elaborate plans like dinner reservations at some sushi restaurant in the Bellagio that Josh likes, then Sunday morning massages. It'll be a 24 hour trip. I said Josh was a really lucky guy and he smiled and thanked me for saying that.

The Guy and I talk about some of the dates I've had and how I seem really discouraged. I had talked to him this morning about how it is always the same guys over and over on things like connexion. I think there are more quality guys, but none that pique my interest. He told me how much personal growth I've had over the past 6 months to a year and how I am discouraged, but how it is good. He told me and asked if I wanted him to stop talking because I looked like I was going to cry. I was fine and told him to continue. We talked about how I should move/could move and that would be great. He recommended San Diego, talking about how all of the guys are so down to earth, how there are so many quality guys. There's so many bars- gay country bars etc. He said that he should take me just for the experience and so I can see and reaffirm there are other guys out there. He said we could take Zach and Jeff possibly, and that would make a good group. I said "well, we should do that for my birthday." He said January could work and that would be a good time. I said "let's do that." I'm going to hold him to that. That would truly make my birthday to have a little couple hour getaway, dinner out, get to go out a club with a friend, it sounds fun. I'm going to mention it in the future when appropriate just to remind him. I felt like this was the perfect opportunity because I was bothered- he's taking Josh to Vegas, where is he taking me? San Diego is a TON of fun and getting to explore the bars with him will be a lot of fun.

In the last 20 minutes of "Last Holiday," The Guy complains his house is dirty. I said it wasn't because honestly, it wasn't. Dishes and clothes aren't everywhere. He goes in and loads the dishwasher. I ask if he needs help and he says no. I keep asking if he wants help as he does other tasks. He gets out the Pledge and cleans all of the electronics and bookcases in the living room. He runs a load of laundry and feels better. He runs around doing little chores while we sit and watch 2 episodes of "Sex and the City," which I had never seen. I enjoyed them and we got some good laughs out of that.

We call it a night at 9p.m. and that is great. Now I'm ready for bed at 10:30- my usual time.

Oh, and since I mentioned my midterms earlier in the week I guess I'll let you guys know how that went since I'm all about tying up loose ends today and updating everyone (Kaiser, the dates, etc.).
- I'm convinced in my Spanish lit class as long as you can write a complete sentence, whether or not it deals with the topic you'll get an "A." Case in point- the prompt on this midterm was "describe the importance of a double text." This was one of those one-liner's in the book and I remember it because it was in bold. But what was it? Was this like double meanings? Who knows. I just wrote that there is an author and characters. The author creates the characters to explain a moral or lesson. The professor wrote "BIEN!" at the top of my paper and gave me a 100/100. The girl next to me wrote "Me gusta Caprerucita" and wrote a couple sentences about liking Little Red Riding Hod and also got 100/100. She got a "BIEN" on her paper also.
- The curb on the linguistics test was pretty large. It was 61 questions. The class average was a 33/61. I was very worried because what was in the book, what he talked about in class, and what was on the test were 3 totally different things. I figured I got a D or C. I got a 37/61. The curb however was strange. 45-56 was an A, and only 5 people received A's. 40-45 was a B+ To get a B- you had to have 30-39. One person got 29 and that was a C+. My teacher said because it was 50% of our grade nobody would fail, so he had a strange curb. So how did I do? 37/61, or a B-.
- I find out about Anthropology on Monday. I felt pretty confident about that. I'm expecting 80% or better.

I got an e-mail from a reader about the erroneous grammar and spelling in my last entry about Kaiser. I know- I re-read it and realized how bad it was. I never proofread or go back for spelling errors unless my Mac catches it. I write so much and sometimes my posts take a while to write. For me the posts are a documentation of my life, so I want to have a record more than anything; but I know and apologize for it being hard to read.

You don't mess with Mike Pt. 2

I had to get my allergy shots yesterday. If you think it couldn't have gotten any worse, from my last post, it did. It took 90 minutes, an hour and a half. I get to Kaiser at 3:30 right after my dad and we check in. 15, 20, 30, 45, and 60 minutes roll around. We were told by Ms. Timmie to go sit down when we inquired why we weren't called after 30 minutes and neither had anyone else. It is 4p.m. and my mom arrives. After 70 minutes my dad was called. He was not happy and went down to Member Services to complain. I waited another 20 minutes and was finally called. NOT ONE PERSON WAS CALLED IN THE MEANTIME.

I get in there and another nurse, who I haven't mentioned was giving shots. Timmie had disappeared and I think she did so intentionally. Vickie called me and thanked me for being so patient and told me that the reason it took so long for me to get my shot today was that there is a new system where you book an appointment to get an allergy shot. I told her that's not going to work for me and I was not about to make an appointment, especially when HER service (I meant allergy, but wanted to make it personal) has declined and everyone has become so rude, it is not about the customer anymore. She said I agree. 70 minutes after arriving, at 5:20 (20 minutes after me) my mom was called. There were 4-5 people who arrived after my mom- who knows when they were called. Allergy closed at 4:30, or was supposed to.

After everyone has our shots we go to dinner at Carrows. We talk about how disgusted we are. My dad receives a call from the head of the Allergy/Dermatology Dept. at 6p.m. She was contacted on her cell phone about the poor service and she wants to assure us the new appointment system where you have to schedule your appointment weeks in advance will be so beneficial. We get shots every week at 4:00 on Thursday at their busiest time, is this going to work? Think we're going to be able to get an appointment? My dad argued with her for 30 minutes and didn't get anywhere. My dad handled everything the best he could given the circumstances.

Now here's what I did. I called and left a voicemail on this Georgina's phone, she is the head of the Allergy/Dermatology Dept. at 8:30a.m. this morning when Kaiser Allergy/Dermatology opens. On my way to school this morning about 9:30 I call Kaiser's 800 number and asked to speak to Member's Services. I was transferred to some lady named Jessie from who knows what Kaiser or if it is some centralized office. She said she would forward my complaint to the Allergy Dept. I called back right after I did this and asked to speak to Dr. Lai. Dr. Lai never answers her phone, so I left a message telling her about my displeasure. By 12p.m. I hadn't received a call back from Georgina yet. I decided I could be even meaner. I call and ask who Georgina's boss is. I said I had called several times asking to speak to her and had never received a call back. Georgina's boss Dave comes on the line within 5 minutes and I harped on how that is not good customer service to not follow up to a complaint. He agreed and thanked me for taking the time to go up the hierarchy.

Georgina calls me at 12:30 and says she was "soooooooo sorry to hear about everything." She talked about how she has overseen this operation and she knows it works. She was the one who chose to implement it. Every point I could I interrupted her. I told her making an appointment, the new system is not feasible for commuters. I explained how I commute 30 miles to get my shot. I do. I work 30 miles away on Thursday's. She finally conceded and she said "well, this is for the retirees who come." I said "retirees? How many do you see waiting in the waiting room? It is not- it is commuters." She said "well, I'm hiring extra nurses to work with allergy." I said that's not going to help because the majority of the people who come, like myself, are commuters. There is something called TRAFFIC. I may arrive at 3:30, 3:45, 4p.m., etc. Only having a 15 minute window in which I can get my shot is not feasible. She said she was really sorry. I said that's not acceptable. She said this 15 minutes gives the nurses time to prepare the antigen because she is a mathematical person, to which I added "My ass." Anyways, she's a mathematical person, has used a timer, and determined it takes 15 minutes to prepare each patient's antigen. The nurse is able to focus, look 3 times to see they have prepared the right antigen, and then check you in. I said that it was never like that before- there are photos on our charts AND in the computer of who we are, and there is a small identical photo on our shot antigen, so there is no issue there. She said this is her new way she has created to ensure things will work smoothly. I said it is more inefficient, the quality of care has declined, and the nurses are downright rude. I mentioned my incident last month where Ms. Timmie chased me down. She said she was appauled and has received complaints about a "dominant nurse." She said that Timmie will be spoken to.

Anyways, finally after 30 minutes of arguing she let me know that the appointment thing, especially after yesterday is not going to work. She has a new plan to create a more intimate setting. The door on the allergy injection room will be closed. When everyone arrives they will be given a little carnival style ticket, or raffle ticket, and we'll be called based on the order of that.The nurse will then have 10 minutes to prepare each antigen for each patient. The nurses will then have 5 minutes to spend with us. I said again, that is inefficient. Giving us a raffle ticket means the receptionist will have to walk into the allergy injection room, set the ticket down, given that it is a small ticket could easily be lost, which would result in further inefficiency. The walkup method is simply more efficient and it works. She told me to try it out a week. I said I will, but I am not going to go back to her. I told her I spoke to her boss earlier and I plan to do it again. I'm going to go back to Dave, her boss, if it is not faster to get an allergy shot. I have Dave's direct line.

So now I'm waiting for next week when I get my ticket...

Date updates

Greg and I are over- not that it was that we were a couple, but it was like we had taken it to the next step or were about to. Not sure what happened. He deleted me from his connexion page and seemed to avoid me on Yahoo messenger this week. Not a problem. It was at the point I was feeling like I was falling for him, so it is ok.

Date #2, Mike and I are just "friends." We chat on the phone once every week or so and may hang out, but nothing will go beyond that.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Nordstroms shopping trip on The Guy

The Guy gave me a $50 gift certificate a few months back for pet sitting I did at the end of August. I went to use the gift card the other day at Express and it was declined. I was a little surprised since he said there was $50, but when the clerk called discovered only $0.23 was on the card. I was a little upset; not about that, but about other things, so I called him to tell him and acted like it wasn't a big deal. He felt really bad for the embarrassment it caused me. It wasn't a big deal. He said that he actually didn't mind because this was an excuse for us to go shopping together. We settled on Tuesday at Nordstroms- I'd take a short study break to visit with him.

I texted The Guy twice asking him if 2:30 was still a go. He said yes, though he was running late. That gave me time to run to the bank. I get to his house at 3:05 and he is on the phone with his mom trying to help her find something on the computer. When he is off the phone he asks if it is ok if we run to the "DP" for a few minutes. The DP is the dog park. We put the dog in the back of his car and we're off. I had never been. We get in the car and drive over talking about our day. He told me he had a breakdown Tuesday morning. He was crying over prop 8, feeling so sick, so violated, and so worried McCain would win. He also told me about his colon cleaning. At the DP there is a poodle, a couple dogs from the pound I guess, and a group of older people with their snobby looking dogs. Haha.... snobby dogs? lol. Anyways, his dog was growling at a collie and a couple other dogs there. The Guy had to interfere. We stopped and talked to a guy with a poodle sitting on a bench, then played with the little dog from the pound as we watched his dog. The ridges on the dog's back were all up and he was acting really strange, so we leave after about 10 minutes. There are 2 hot boys- 1 of them from The Guy's gym as we took off.

We drop the dog off and get the $400 in gift certificates to Nordstroms that The Guy's mom gave to him and $60 in Nordstroms bucks. We drive over and then talk about how we both have so much studying to do. The Guy jokes that since I have a tendency to be declined that he should give me his Nordstroms bucks since they've been declined. I playfully hit him. As we approach the men's department, The Guy says he already found something he liked. It was a $100 Hugo Boss blue pullover. He tries it on and it fits great on his mesomorph figure. It didn't make him look fat and he talked about how he felt really good today about his weight and feeling fit, not fat. I said that was the truth. He looks great, really. Then he found a black Hugo Boss long sleeve shirt behind it, which also looked hot. The Guy tells me to try on beige khaki pants, which was what I was trying to buy at Express. I found a 30x32 and 31x32 that the employee helping us recommended. Both didn't work. Both were too small. The Guy told me I just give up too easily. I said I didn't think so- this guy went looking in the computer for me and told me they didn't even carry a 29x32 or 28x32. He said I should go look for more. I wound up over by the young men's shirts, like The Guy. He had already found 3 shirts- one was a blue and silver shirt that had a cross on it that looked REALLY sexy. He tried the shirt on and it was HOT HOT HOT. I gave him a big thumbs up from afar, a smile, and then when he came over said it looked HOT. It fit his body perfectly. It was only $100. The Guy ran back and forth from the dressing room asking me about everything like his polos (he got 2 LaCoste polos in dark blue and light blue). I found 3 shirts I liked that were over on the reduced rack... haha. They were cool though. I got a gray LaCoste polo for $60 that had a bigger alligator on the breast. I also got a couple random shirts with prints on them that looked really neat. I also got a brown pullover. All were $30 or less. I have a hard time spending that much on a t-shirt, but I got a little taken away being there with The Guy. My shirts in total were only $120. We go to the checkout and it is $499 for all of our stuff. We find out that the first 2 Hugo Boss things The Guy liked weren't in the total because they were still at the other register. Too bad we found that out when we got home. The Guy bragged about how he was getting so many clothes for so little- roughly 10 shirts for $1000... haha... I could do better. He talked about how this is stepping out for him and it felt uncomfortable- he always always always wears a black Ralph Lauren polo shirt and Nike basketball shorts. EVERYDAY. When he goes to work he wears blue 7s jeans and a black Ralph Lauren polo. He probably has 30 of those polos. NO JOKE. I've never seen him wear the stuff he tried on in the 2 years I've known him except on special occasions.

We go over to the shoe department and have a great guy who helps us. The Guy buys a blue pair of Pumas to match his yellow pair he just bought. He raved about the comfort. Then he said that he wanted to get some dress shoes. We spent probably 40 minutes looking at boots etc. I tried on 3 pairs of dress shoes. I really wanted a new pair because I have outgrown mine. I had been eyeing some Calvin Klein's online, but didn't buy them yet. The ones I liked or thought I liked at Nordstroms were between $99 and $375. I've never spent that on shoes, but I was going to. My dad had already given the OK to drop $150 or less on dress shoes earlier this month when I complained I needed a new pair, so I didn't feel as bad. I was unsuccessful. The Guy found a pair he wanted, the same pair I did for $375. I did feel really good though trying on the shoes. I am a size 13 in tennis shoes, but the dress shoes I tried on were a 10 1/2. NO JOKE. They were only $99, but looked like quaker shoes The Guy and I determined.

After getting the shoes I said we're going to Express so I can get my khaki pants I want. He said fine, but he is hungry. We talked and laughed. The more we walked he complained of his profuse hunger. We talked about like how sad the JCPenney store front looked, how The Guy shops at Nordstroms because it is quality. American Eagle clothes are trendy, but after 1 or 2 washings are floopy, which is why you shop at Nordstroms- quality. We get to Express and I find the pants immediately. He says he is hungry, so I need to focus on getting the pants and can't look at any thing else. I joke about needing a bright colored dress shirt and was completely serious, but food was on The Guy's mind. The Guy ATMs the pants, which were $88, then we left. I was going to pay for the pants, but he insisted that this was what I needed and wanted to get earlier, but it was his fuck up earlier, so he was paying. I wasn't complaining. As we're walking out I talk about my need and how I can't live without a really cool bright colored shirt; how I have the necessity to have material goods. He jokes about needing to simplify our lives. I said nope. Can't do. He asked if I wanted a shirt, and we'd go back in and get one. I said I was ok. Not. Ok, I was. Nope, I wasn't. Finally I said we could go. He said we'd go back and get one if I needed one. I said no- I can wait. We walk back through the mall talking about how much fun this was and how we've never done this before, how we need to do it again, eat beforehand, and how this was a new memory for us.

I talk about eating a lot of Mexican food lately and The Guy says we should go to Acapulco. We drive over there and are seated immediately. He tells me he got a text from Ben the other night as well as Matt, his ex. I told him he's doing everything right. He tells me about reading Maya Angelou's biography and how inspirational it was. We talk about how we both need to study, how school is killing us. Then we talk about the election. We look at because it has a special iPhone interface. Obama had 70 electoral votes at the time and McCain had 30. We talked about how it would be such a landslide. We talked about tossup states and real close elections. I contributed that Indiana and Mississippi were very close and he didn't know that, so that was cool. We spent most of the rest of dinner talking about prop 8 and other things. The Guy was confident it wouldn't pass but I talked about my skepticism and gave reasons like what happened today that I'll blog about below. There was an awkward tension through the meal- it was probably The Guy not feeling well, election nerves, nerves about school for both of us, and stuff like that.

I pay for the meal and use my ATM card. Somewhere between the restaurant when we were walking out and I was fumbling to put my card away and my house I lost my wallet. Where? I don't know. I am assuming it was probably when I got in The Guy's car. I've called Acapulco and Bally's Fitness. Both haven't found it. So I talked to The Guy to make sure and then canceled my cards. Ick.

We get back to The Guy's place, I use the restroom, we look at the stuff we got, then I tell him to get some studying done and take off. I leave at 6p.m. and get home at 7, which is great for studying. I was sad I couldn't watch election coverage because I was busy studying for 3 midterms I had today. I had the TV on, but it was on mute.

I texted him about 8:30p.m. thanking him again and telling him we need to do that again.

I got a haircut today. The lady who cuts my hair is my mom's hairdresser and she is a Democrat. We always talk politics when I get my hair cut. The hairdresser voted McCain however. I didn't know she didn't like Obama- ok- I vaguely remember. She complained last time about his purple lips. My mom arrives a few minutes after. She complained how Obama hasn't said anything- only what people want to hear, but nothing new that no politician did. I agree with that. It wasn't until Hillary conceded he had anything to say; and then it was nothing new. She asked me who I voted for in front of my mom. My mom doesn't even know what I'm registered as. I hide it well. In a quiet voice in front of my mom and hairdresser when asked I say Obama. The hairdresser hits me in the head as a joke. I thought "oh. Oops."

My mom said she wasn't worried about the president because either one will have a really tough job and she thinks that since we have so many difficult issues we're more united than 4 or 8 years ago, so it wouldn't matter if McCain or Obama were elected. She thinks both sides would work together given the desperate times. My mom said she was worried about the propositions like 1A, 2, 4, and 8. My mom vehemently said she was against 8. The hairdresser agreed. Both said that the Bible is who they have to answer to and so that's why they are against it. The conversation between them went on and I sat in the room facing my mom because that's how I was positioned in the chair, with my eyes squinting (presumably because of all the hair in my eyes), but more-so, so that I wouldn't say something wrong or incriminating. My mom talked about the issue wasn't education because she's a teacher and knows homosexuality is not taught in schools. The hairdresser talked about how it is just wrong because of the Bible. Then my mom said that it concerns her. She doesn't want to see two married guys, two guys talking about their kids like that. I wanted to intervene and say something. My mom's hairdresser talked about how it is such a small portion of the population forcing their views upon each the majority. Homosexuals are only 3% of the population. Again, I could have interjected my thoughts. Then my mom talked about something she heard on PASTOR'S PERSPECTIVE ON KWAVE 107.9. All the pastors lately have been talking about the election and the importance of voting yes on 8. First, homosexuality is wrong. Second, we are in end times. Obama could have been the anti-Christ. Third, the anti-Christ is nearing. The Pastors say that the anti-Christ is going to be homosexual, therefore we need to stop that. The anti-Christ will probably be from somewhere in Rome, will be homosexual, and will have experienced a great defeat. The key thing is that he is homosexual, so that prop 8 passed is a good thing. I got my haircut and quickly left. I know and have heard that the anti-Christ will be either celibate or homosexual. It is not explicitly said, but as I recall is talked about by Daniel in the Bible. And maybe it is the case, but this is the reason you're voting yes on prop 8? Whatever...

Monday, November 3, 2008

Few happenings

At about 7a.m. this morning I was on my way to work at the high school to tutor when I get down to the shopping center and see a bunch of cars parked at the side of the road, banners, and people standing out. My first thought was yes on prop 8. I was right. There were probably 200 protestors in this area. The rally was huge and it was snarling traffic. I hadn't heard anything about it, or you can bet I would have at least let a few people know who are very anti on 8. Anyways, as I'm making my way down the street for the hell of it I roll down my window and flip the protestors off. I can't say that it accomplished much, but they saw me, they were upset, and that made my day.

It further made my day when I was actually able to make it into the shopping center to the donut shop. I was early, so I figured I'd stop for a dozen donuts for my coworkers at the high school. As I go in I'm told by some bitch named Jan W. (a lady who lives in my neighborhood nobody likes- sooo tempted to post her whole name and give me thoughts... but I'll refrain) that I am not going to heaven if I vote no on 8. I told her as I was going in that she's not going to heaven even if she does vote. She looked discouraged and perplexed by what I said. I ordered a dozen delicious donuts, got a lotto ticket, and then left. As I was walking on Jan's husband was there next to her and a few other protestors. I just said "FUCK YOU" as I walked by. Made my day. As I walked away there were screams from the Yes on 8 protestors telling me to get saved, lose the attitude, marry a woman, and listen to the Bible.

I'm not one to flip people off or tell people "fuck you," but I was mad to begin with, then the excessiveness of the rally, and me being tired of all of this just said what I wanted. It made for great convo at work and my coworkers and boss called me a MAVERICK. lmao.

Oh, and there is a hill at the end of my street that the county owns. It is public property and may one day be a park. I wouldn't count on it as it is 30 years in the making and it still hasn't happened. Anyways, there were dozens of Yes on 8 signs on there. The other night I was frustrated, couldn't sleep, so I took all of the signs down leaving the single NO ON 8 sign that was there.

I live in a VERY conservative area if you didn't already get that. HAHA.

I had a midterm last week in my Spanish lit class and received 100% on it. I was one of 3 people to. It was on literary terms like synecdoche, personification, apostrophe, etc.

I have 3 midterms on Wednesday. A repeat for Spanish lit- this time a smaller quiz portion of the midterm. I haven't began to read for. Then I have Spanish linguistics on Wednesday and that is 50% of my grade. Then my Anthropology midterm thanks to my heavy studying over the past 2 days should be more manageable. It is also 50% of my grade. I've been in midterm mode for the past few days studying hard and hopefully it'll pay off. I'm just really kind of frantic.

I'm hopefully going to hang out with THe Guy tomorrow night and get some studying knocked out at his house.

**** WANTED TO GIVE A SPECIAL THANKS TO ALL OF MY COMMENTERS LIKE CLOSETED, BORQ_QUEEN, AEK, NATUREGESETZ, ANONYMOUS, AND MIKEY FOR THEIR COMMENTS OVER THE PAST COUPLE DAYS. Things have been bothering me, so to have those comments have made me feel great. Thanks for replying to the post about my pics and weight gain or not post. I wanted other opinions from you guys and that's what I got.