Thursday, January 31, 2013


Hung out with The Guy and his bf. Spent the better part of a month tracking him down. It was good times and constant laughs from the time we walked in. Gave the Christmas presents we bought them - a thermos and wine aerator. We of course opened a bottle of wine and sat at the table in the kitchen talking about work, family, and clothes. I talked about clothes having to match and my dilemmas trying to match things. The 2 of them got the biggest kick out of this, and I showed pictures of some matches, and some horrible "matches." I told them I take pics of manikins in stores to figure out what matches, and this is what I was told. IT WAS HILARIOUS. I told them I'm very matchey-matchey since I will do like black on black, blue and blue. Tone on tone.

Judge for yourself...
Best comment from The Guy about this. SO AMUSING. "And you need a sweater to go over your blazer?" LMAO.

Oh, and they didn't buy my whole story I did purple and green myself yesterday.

We made plans to meet at the end of next month.

Monday, January 21, 2013

A month long of trips

I feel like I haven't done a proper update - been out and about, and around.

Vegas Dec 26-28
After I got back from NYC I was home for 2 days, then took my parents to Vegas. I took them to see Jersey Boys. Sis went too. It was a tense trip, as they were indecisive, and didn't want to do anything I did. They had a great time, though.

Our Christmas, Dec 28
Opened our Christmas gifts to each other. I bought him a watch storage box and bath sheets. He bought me bath sheets, a jacket, and a Coach name tag holder

Vegas Dec 30-January 3
Went with Mike and we stayed at the Rio. Watched fireworks from atop their parking structure, ate some great food.

Returned to a tense time at work with a change in leadership, and I'm still dealing with that.

My Birthday
Celebrated my birthday at work. Sissy took me out to lunch. Then went home and Mike bought me a supply of liquor - whiskey, bitters, margarita mix, a new watch battery for my Diesel watch, and a super sweet card. Went to dinner at our favorite steakhouse where the food was impeccable. It was an old fashioned celebration, with a nice Manhattan and a grasshopper for dessert, along with a soufflé.

Day after woke up not feeling so great, but muddled through work. It wasn't the crazy night before - a bad stress headache and anxiety running amok.

Last weekend was spent with J&B at the horse racing track betting on horseys and losing money.

This past weekend we went up to Santa Barbara to try to visit Mike's cousin, but her dad was in the hospital, and so instead we went to Solvang, a Dutch town. Went wine tasting and olive oil tasting Saturday morning. Drove to Ventura and the outlets in the area. Headed home. Went to Joshua Tree National Park yesterday and found an amazing pizza place to eat at in Palm Desert.

This next weekend will be relaxing and preparing for his parent's to come.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Getting high

Now I got your attention...

All Mixed Up made me think of this after his post about his boyfriend...

Thought I'd post about a recent occurence. My doctor just prescribed Singulair for my asthma/allergies, and I've had some good times with it. The first, shortly after it is in my system I feel high, like a drug high, like I smoked pot, got high. Then apparently I get crazy and hallucinate, which I have no recollection of. This is supposed to be taken before bed, and apparently I get crazy.

The first time something happened I started to think there was an earthquake. I felt the bed shaking, asked Mike to hold me, told him that we needed to put our heads under the pillow in an earthquake, and he should hold me. He apparently egged me on and started shaking the bed where I ended up in the fetal position.

The second time I was super hot and thought I should come out from under the covers on the bed and strip naked.

Another time I saw stars in the room and was reaching out to grab them, reaching over Mike.

The other night I got hot after taking the pill, got out from under the cover, and Mike thought to videotape it. Apparently he asked me why I was out of the covers and I told him it was hot. I started talking about when you are horny you are hot, or something to that effect. Then I started talking about something completely off subject, oh, maybe it was the light of his phone bothering me.

Crazy thing is I remember nothing. I emailed my doctor and he told me to cut the dose in half. Mike finds it hilarious and I feel helpless... hahaha. He has told me he doesn't think I should take the medicine anymore.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Anxiety run amok

And the doctor thinks I'm fine on Zoloft. Hah. Hardly. I seem to worry more with this crock than anything.

So here's what is on my mind as it is 12:18 and my BF is asleep and I'm up to worry.

So first thing's first. I got afforded an opportunity to go back to school and have my tuition paid for if I enroll before my 26th birthday, which is coming up in a few days. I don't like the thought of going back to school - it means work - it means time - it means giving up my time. I am already maxed out on the pay scale, but to not take this opportunity would mean I'm basically giving up the chance to get my admin degree for free. Do I want another degree? No, but I don't see myself teaching for 30+ years. Would I feel guilty passing up on this money? Yes. Admin degree means I could become a principal/assistant principal/take on some other sort of leadership position within the school. Could also give me a leg up if I want advancement outside of the school setting, or even teaching at like a college. I know I could go teach now with masters, but hey, more marketable...

Oh, and I'm $16k in debt right now from my teaching credential/masters. I am scheduled to have that paid off in 2017.

Oh, and Mike supports me, and I appreciate that.

Do people like me? Do friends still remember me? I get these random thoughts sometimes like no one likes me, like when I text someone and they don't reply. Gonzo has been doing that, as has The Guy, and well, when I don't hear back my mind wanders, especially on this new anxiety med.

My parents are driving me crazy. I have such a hard time biting my tongue, and when I open up my mouth it makes people mad, and I hate opening up my mouth, especially now, when I don't know how my dad will handle it.

My dad just got 100% disability from the VA, and is happy. At last. My parents are planning on remodeling the kitchen int he next few months before my dad retires. My mom has the most ugly kitchen design picked out. I hate it. My dad does too. I want to say my 2 cents and do. Mike says I should butt out since I don't live there. Sometimes I don't care and feel the need. Part of it is I give the best advice - in my mind - but Mike keeps remidning me I don't live there.

WTF is my dad going to do when he retires? He has no hobbies.

Work has me stressed out - I go back on Monday - know I'm due for an evaluation, and it could be anyday. All throughout the past couple days I've had images of Teelima stuck in my head, my most difficult student. Feel like first day jitters again.

The past month was difficult money wise with Christmas and the district not withholding enough on our paychecks, and an accounting error, so I was out of money fast. This month I'm saving extra because my auto insurance is due next month, and I'm moving off of my parent's insurance to a different company, and so gotta save since they give you a discount if it is paid in full. Also paying off my credit card from NY/Vegas. And my birthday, and everyone else seem to be having a birthday too. And I am down to $800 or so and it is the 4th of the month. And I hate to make Mike pay for everything. I feel like a broke teacher sometimes. I pay everything once it comes, and everything tends to come at the first of the month, and so it feels like I have nothing the rest of the month. I guess I'm doing ok, making ok money, but OK sometimes just doesn't feel so ok

And when my anxiety kicks in I get acne on my chest and back. Its no bueno. It itches.

Oh, and at least on Zoloft I can still get hard. And in fact I'm pretty much always horny on it.