Your inner person

Ever have a friend say your inner black person or inner Mexican is coming out?

When I'm mad, my inner black woman, Shaquana comes out. When I'm around my sissy (former coworker), my inner black person comes out, and I'm La'Fred, her gay BFF.

Most of the time my inner Mexican comes out, and I'm drinking my margaritas, cervezas, eating and cooking my Mexican food. I'm your esexy Pablo or whatever Spanish name comes to mind. I speak some good Spanish and can hispanicize what I say. I can bring on that sexy "e" before "s," as in I would like "un eSprite." And you can't forget that sexy latino color.

I swear I was Mexican in a past life.

Y'all

I like to use the word y'all. It works well with my southern drawl, drives my sister crazy, and forces her to call me Paula Deen.

Sometimes it makes me loathe that I sound so Southern in Southern California...

Toes in the water ass in the sand

Tomorrow I will. In Hawaii on a cruise around Hawaii on NCL.

Cruise is ok. Cruise workers here are a mix of like McDonald's equivalent workers in the US and Applebees bartenders I would say. It has its mix of white trash workers, too. The unique thing about this ship is the majority of the workers are Americans, a rarity in the cruise business. The cruise has been ok - hard to meet people on NCL with freestyle dining. Also, none of the service has been over the top, which my partner equates to having all of these Americans. Same with the service at the resorts - too many Americans - not that great of service.

We are trying to get used to this laid back pace in Hawaii. Seriously, 3 minutes or 4 to go a mile? WTF? It should be a minute a mile. And people drive so slowly. And they drive some real buckets here. We did Road to Hana, which I don't recommend, and seriously, there were random cars like at the side of the road that were all beat up. We ran into an old Isuzu Trooper in the WalMart parking lot on bricks, hood missing, and windows shot out. There's some nice cars. We got a sexy Cadillac to rent and drive.

Currently we are in Maui, and that hasn't impressed us much. Slow pace. Nothing that has just been so pretty or so amazing.

I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand
Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand
Life is good today Life is good today
Well, the plane touched down just about three o'clock
And the city's still on my mind
Bikinis and palm trees danced in my head
I was still in the baggage line
Concrete and cars are there own prison bars like this life I'm living in
But the plane brought me farther
I'm surrounded by water
And I'm not going back again
I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand
Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand
Life is good today Life is good today
Adiós and vaya con Dios
Yeah I'm leaving GA
And if it weren't for tequila and pretty senoritas
I'd have no reason to stay
Adiós and vaya con Dios
Yeah I'm leaving GA
Gonna lay in the hot sun and roll a big fat one
And grab my guitar and play
Four days flew by like a drunk Friday night
As the summer drew to an end
They can't believe that I just couldn't leave
And I bid adieu to my friends
Because my bartender she's from the islands
Her body's been kissed by the sun
And coconut replaces the smell of the bar
And I don't know if its her or the rum
I got my toes in the water, ass in the sand
Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand
Life is good today Life is good today
Adiós and vaya con Dios
A long way from GA
Yes and all the muchachas they call me big poppa
When I throw pesos their way
Adiós and vaya con Dios
A long way from GA
Someone do me a favor and pour me some Jaeger
And I'll grab my guitar and play
Adiós and vaya con Dios
Going home now to stay
The senoritas don't care-o when there's no dinero
You got no money to stay
Adiós and vaya con Dios
Going home now to stay
And put my ass in a lawn chair
Toes in the clay
Not a worry in the world a PBR on the way
Life is good today
Life is good today
- Zac Brown Band/Toes

What I said to The Guy

I hadn't seen him since before the school year started. We tried to get together many times, and he canceled.

He invited us to his partner's birthday party. We were in. We were on our way to the party, we texted saying "see you in a few minutes..." and he canceled saying that the sent me a cancelation in a text the day after. He never did. I was upset and infuriated. This was back in November. We canceled weekend plans to attend this party.

We talked on the phone a couple times - always how busy he was - and how he is working hard.

We made dinner plans about a month and a half ago. We put an invite on the calendar. The day came, and that morning, after saying "see you tonight," go a text that he had to cancel because of work and his partner was busy. He canceled 4 times over the past couple of months. So I was mad. I decided to just go off on him and tell him how I felt. I told him I felt like a secondclass friend, and that's what my partner termed it. He said we never got a cancelation from the party because he probably forgot, and didn't care that much too because i'm a secondclass friend. I told him that. My partner said The Guy probably didn't know how to be a friend and have common courtesy about being friendly about canceling, and I told him that. I just went off about how I don't feel valued and how he could have common decency. All he said was "he is not going to change his plans for me, sorry."

That was the last I've heard. I know it was wrong to say all I did, but I said what I felt, and usually we can be honest and open with each other, and we always get over, or learn from what was said, so I said it. I sent him a text apologizing several times, an email, told him we can forget about what happened completely, or just move on. I even took a card and bottle of wine by his house around Feb 8 apologizing. Nothing. No thank you. Nothing. I have sent emails, called, and nothing. I am hurt because he is one of my best friends.

I have a couple of guesses - something is going on with his partner/their relationship, and he is hurting, so when I was bitching about him not telling us the party for his partner was canceled that struck a nerve. It could also be envy from the relationship I have with my partner. Or he could just be really stressed and backing out/avoiding, which drives me crazy. At least have the decency to send me a message.

Spring Break

And I have already consumed the following:

1 wine margarita
3 bottles of wine
2 margaritas
2 mimosas

Hateful coworkers

I came home nearly in tears today. I didn't tell my partner who asked me how my day was over text. I told him about the assembly we had instead. I didn't tell him about the shit I put up with at work. I was just accepted to serve on the committee for the state, and the principal sent out a congratulatory email. 4-5 people sent me a congratulations, but 6-7 people decided to give me major shit over it. I heard what a brown noser, ass kisser, and pet I was. I heard how I am just there as a stepping stone, how I don't care about the kids, how I am so far up people's ass. I didn't do anything other than apply to an email the head of curriculum for the district sent out. One idiot decided to tell me how I didn't deserve the position and have't worked as hard as he has, and don't know how my school works, people just don't do that. Manbitch gave me a hard time, suck up didn't look at me, whatever, you ass, people are a lot like you who sit on your lazy ass for 13 years. Whatever. I just had such a hard time dealing with these assholes. It took its toll on me. I stormed around all evening trying to forget.

Backstabbing

I hate to work in a place where all the other employees backstab each other. Many workplaces have these sort of people, and where I work is not immune.

We have a gossip who is constantly stirring up the pot about things she "heard." Rumors start and end through her.

We have the bombshell in the corner who takes everything that goes on in, then goes off to the teacher he shares a room with to report, and report all that takes place to admin.

There's the Antisocial Trust Fund asshole who sits in the corner and talks about his trust fund, and how he lives in such a dangerous area. Contradiction much?

There's the Manbitch, as he is called, who calls everyone out, bitches about everything.

We have "the groupies" as they are called by the gossip. You have to be invited to sit at their table at lunch, it is an honor and privilege to talk to them. You have to 3 people at this table who spread and swirl the rumors. They're the first to call out everyone's wrongs - both admin and teachers. They're the first to call in sick without sufficient time to get a sub, yet when I do it - because I have a legitimate reason it is construed that I am "taking advantage of the system." They're the first to make judgmental comments about everything taking place. They call out anyone who doesn't do their job up to par, and they're the ones who don't in the first place!

There's the in-crowd, the ones who are like wolves clamoring for power. We have 4 of those, and they are at admin's beck and call for everything. I don't want to be one of those.

I have been put on an admin track at my school, am volunteering for extra duties, etc. I am being sent to conferences and trainings because I work, because I apply what I learn into my classroom. I have been asked to lead several staff meetings in the coming month. I am friends with the gossip - she knows I'm not trying to be part of the in-crowd because I'm wise, and know that power can be lost at the turn of a hat. She knows I'm not trying that hard to be a showoff. I just like the perks that come with doing a good job. She won't talk about me behind my back or spread any rumors. Trust Fund and Manbitch will say I'm a suck up. The groupies are going to say I'm on the in-crowd, that I'm on the incrowd, and maybe I am, and maybe it'll further ostracize me to these people that I don't want to have any association with. All of this because I work hard, and I am seizing the perks of my job.