Losing The Guy's friendship - if that's what has happened - has left me wondering and feeling empty when it comes to friends.
Some people have many best friends. I have a few, and I try to keep them close. My 4 best friends are my friend the pilot, but I can't talk about things like sexuality with him. Career, yes, family, yes. I can share just about anything with Sissy, but there's 2 things I don't feel comfortable talking with her about - money and my partner - I don't have negative things to say about my partner, but she knows him well too, and likes him, and I feel like I can't say a lot because of that. I know all about her marital problems, and money issues, but it feels weird for me to share with her. Gonzo is another I can share just about anything with, however, I don't feel like she has real advice to give me sometimes, like with teaching, or life experiences because she hasn't been there.
The Guy was someone I could share everything with - about family, friends, work, school, career, life, you name it. I don't have that anymore, and I miss it. We hadn't really seen each other since my schedule switched to mornings. It was always hit and miss, and he didn't seem to be willing to meet up for breakfast, when I suggested. Was our friendship gone then? We had worked for about 4-5 months to get together, then when I said some things, maybe that severed it completely. We did chat a few times, and had good conversations prior to me saying those things. I just still ponder - was it that final thing I said? Was it my persistence? He was the one who always said he appreciated it because otherwise he wouldn't get out and see people. I appreciated his friendship, and always tried to reciprocate.
I just feel like I'm lacking a best friend - some people say their partner is - and I certainly consider my partner my best friend, but it is hard I guess.