Talking to Marshall

I spent some time talking to Marshall online last night. The conversation went around how amazing I was, how we have so much in common, etc. etc. All of this about how compatible we were made it an opportunity to ask me what he wanted and what he was looking for. His response was "preferably exclusive friends with benefits." He asked what I wanted, and I said I was looking more for a relationship, and he said he was not opposed. He wants to hang out, cook, eat, talk, go to the beach, shopping, etc. When we go out he wouldn't mind the whole daddy thing, and paying for me. He asked more about what I like to do for fun, and he said he'd love to go to a concert or two with me.

The topic of Arizona, where he lived prior came up several times. He mentioned he is waiting for his house to close escrow and how he misses all of his dogs out there. I asked for more information. He said his ROOMMATE is still there. I asked if his roommate was his partner, and he didn't reply. He went on to tell me about all of his dogs, and how much he loves them. He said that he will eventually move the dogs out here.

So I feel like I know more... yet...... i still need that partnered question answered.

Edit in response to comments: I'm pretty sure roommate = boyfriend. I'm also not sure I'm ok with the whole daddy/pay for me thing. In one hand it is like paying me for favors. I am not into that. I am independent and pay for myself.

I'm scandalous

My grindr photo was "cropped" by grindr because I guess I showed too much skin. I had the picture up for months, but reset my phone, added the pic again, and now it is scandalous.

I went on 2 dates with him

So I met a guy a few days ago on the internet whom we will call Marshall. Such a hot guy!!! He was 43, 5'10'', 190lbs, 6'' cut, brown hair parted down the middle with blond highlights. So my type. He just moved here from Arizona and has only been in California 2 weeks. He has spent the past 8 years though, here on business regularly.

We chatted on the internet for several hours, became facebook friends, then decided to meet up. We did dinner Saturday night at Buca Di Beppo in Irvine. I know why I was attracted to him- he's so random, his mind goes at 100 miles a minute, he is very much a type-A personality, he reminds me very much of The Guy as far as being so talkative and random. He sells Mary K cosmetics, does sales for a trucking company, and a range of other things. The conversation was nonstop.

We met on Sunday night too, this time at his apartment. We made out in the doorway for literally 15 minutes. We made our way to his bedroom where we stripped, and started kissing, cuddling, making out, and then we jacked off on each other. Lots of talking in bed about how hot of a time we were having.

We chatted on the phone Monday and Tuesday. Everytime he was telling me how awesome, how sexy, how perfect, how much of an Adonis I am, you get the pic. Total nonstop praise. While it does boost my ego, it left me skeptical. What kind of guy is he, and why is he saying that? It left me sketpical how he can praise me so much. He was telling me how he has a hard time admitting, but I'm one of the hottest guys he has met/talked/seen in 10 years. I was skeptical as to why/how he can praise me so much. On one hand it is flattering, but it is a bit much coming from a guy nearly 20 years older. Sure a "you're hot is fine," but the perpetual praise was extreme.

So tonight he was telling me how he rarely has sex. I asked why. He said long story short is he is NEW to California. He said he IS/WAS partnered in Arizona for 8 years. His boyfriend in Arizona is 15 years younger for him. They last had sex on like August 15, 2006. He loves the boyfriend and they get along great because of their love of dogs, but he doesn't like having sex with the boyfriend. His boyfriend is into funky stuff like tying him up and duct tape. Much more praise and back to talking about how sexy I am.

Right now I'm not sure what to think. He's head over heels for me. I was distant from the beginning and careful to not get swept up in his words. Now I'm wanting to ease back. Am I wrong? I don't know how to tell him no when I am just as guilty of telling him how I'm into him, yet didn't know he IS/WAS partnered. Ugh.
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As much as I hate to sit and compose a letter I think this may be the best thing... opinions?

Dear Marshall,

While I have enjoyed getting to know you over the past couple of days, I cannot in my heart, in good conscience continue seeing you as a friend with benefits/ a possible relationship (since you are seeing someone)?

Mike

OR................

Dear Marshall,

I have enjoyed getting to know you over the past couple days, but feel I cannot continue seeing you for sexual favors.

Mike

I don't know.... I know he's going to pry, ask questions, wonder what is wrong with him, why I can't, be butt hurt, potentially dramatic... ugh. Is honesty the best policy?

Summer goals

Here's my list of goals for this summer:
1. Finish my 2 summer classes
2. Paint my bedroom/take down the awful wallpaper.
3. Organize my closet
4. Take a weekend trip... or two... JetBlue Cheeps, anyone?
5. Watch lots of movies- I watched Tropic Thunder last night- I should have passed.
6. Hang out with coworkers a couple times and cousins since we're back in constant communication
7. Pester AT&T about our internet issues. Thanks to reader hpnutty for their advice. I plan to suggest what you told me.
8. Go to 2-3 concerts
9. Take the Spanish test I still need to for my credential, and study for it. I should do ok.
10. Still want to visit Disney World.
11. Hang out with my best friend when he is here a couple times
12. Disney, Universal, and Knotts Berry Farm a few times
13. Weho again... maybe as soon as tonight!

Nothing real lofty, but things I need to work on.

Oh, and I just found out my idiot advisor will not let me take the class online and pay the same tuition as an on site class. Online classes are $1,000 more per class. There was a scheduling conflict with both of my summer classes- both were offered Thursday night. I went in 2 weeks back and petitioned to take 1 online and get the on site rate because this advisor encouraged me to do that because of this issue. I get a call from his secretary at 10:40 this morning telling me that the class I need is now offered on Monday night. I told her I'd have to think about it, but I already had plans, and I do. I wanted to keep my schedule open for JetBlue Cheeps, as well as I have it planned to go to Disneyland with my best friend on a Monday, then drive down to his condo in Carlsbad and stay through Wednesday. I got an email from the advisor at 12:20, 20 minutes ago, telling me that because I elected to choose the online class over taking it on campus I will not receive a discounted rate. Excuse me?! You were the ass who said the class was only offered Thursday nights, and I planned my schedule around that.

After 3-4 emails my advisor relented and is allowing me to take the class online, which is what I wanted to do.

Tempted to buy a bunch of concert tix

So many concerts I want to see this summer...

Tim McGraw with Lady Antebellum
This Saturday in Devore at the San Manuel Pavilion
$69 for reserved mid level seat
$41.60 for lawn ticket
*** This concert is likely to happen with at least 1 of my cousins


Sugarland w/ Michelle Branch
July 8 @ The Greek in LA
$73.10 for mid level seating



Martina McBride
Jully 22 @ Pacific Ampitheater at OC Fair
$62.20 for mid level seating


Faith Hill
July 24 @ Pacific Ampitheater at the OC Fair
$56.55 for mid level seating

* And after seeing her at the Hollywood Bowl I'm sort of smitten.

REO Speedwagon and Pat Benatar
July 31 @ The Greek in LA
$66.55 for mid level seating

Clean up

The Guy and I had talked several times this week via phone and text. He called me Wed, Thurs, and I called him Friday a couple times. We agreed to met up at 6 after he got out of the doctor.

I get to The Guy's at 5:50 as he is in the shower. I made great timing considering it was get away Friday, and holiday traffic. I hang out in the office on the couch while he showers. When he gets out he showed me why he went to the doctor. He has a form of psoriasis he was trying to get cleared up. He told me this was like a maintenance visit to the doctor since he was getting all of his problems cleaned up and taken care of. All evening The Guy was incessantly putting cream on his spots and telling me how much they had gone down already- it was funny. We talked about how great his house looked since he had his house cleaned yesterday.

We hang out in the kitchen and living room walking back and forth just admiring how beautiful his house was. He also went in the bathroom a few times to look at his mirror that takes up an entire wall that was just installed. He looks like he does have a designer bathroom now. We talked about what to eat, and I was really craving something with chicken and cheese. The Guy said sushi because it had none of those. Sushi actually sounded REALLY good, so he said we would phone an order for some in at 7 when the place starts delivering. During the time we wait for the sushi we admire his house, talk about his health, tell him about my mom's surprise party being amazing. He chats on facebook with Jeff and Jeff has a mission for us.

The food arrives and The Guy puts it in the fridge. We go to complete Jeff's mission- we have to pick up a package he accidentally left for a realtor in the city The Guy lives in- Jeff forgot to put address labels in it. I drive since I pulled in behind The Guy's car since Robert's car was there since The Guy took him to the airport. All 3 of The Guy's exes are in Chicago this weekend- what a coincidence- none know each other, though, and all are into older guys. We have a hard time finding the realtor's office- Jeff doesn't know the name, and Jeff is directionally challenged. The Guy proclaimed to Jeff I'm like the king of u-turns. I must have did a half dozen while on our adventure. The Guy makes a really nice comment about how he enjoys hanging out with me for being so easy going. Whether we go out or stay in I'm ok with whatever, and I can get excited about whatever. That was cool.

We also debate whether or not this song sounded country- The Guy said it did- I disagree and provided him with a plethora of information. I said Daughtry was on American Idol, known for singing rock, this is his 3rd rock album, he toured with BonJovi who is a ROCKER, so Daughtry is ROCK. His influences include Rod Stewart, Bryan Adams, Elton John, so he is ROCK.


We get home and stand in the kitchen eating the sushi. It was the healthy kind, but it was really good. It was all pretty spicy. I'm not sure what we ordered- some hibachi I know for sure.

The Guy talks about wanting to install his speakers in his kitchen, so we head to Best Buy to get speaker wire, an Airport Express, and a few other odds and ends. We spend some time looking for cords they didn't have. I drove, and The Guy said how he liked being chaufferred (sp?) around for a change. We also talk about how Robert is different than all of his prior relationships. It really sounds like Robert is different... lol... I hope.

We get home and The Guy chats with Zach and a few other people online. We make random comments to each other about what is on our mind. Fun times.

The Guy and I hang out until about 10p.m. until he decides he is about to head to bed.

I got a text from my cousins earlier in the day about meeting them for some country line dancin', and I was so down. I made my way out to Brandin' Iron in San Bernardino, and it was not crowded at all for a Friday night. My cousins were standing around drinking, so I got a drink, and was soon loose enough to head out to the dance floor. They were mainly doing couples dances, and my cousins didn't want to do that, although I would have been ok. Once the band was done, which could not have been soon enough, since they were not that good, we hit the floor. I am getting better at line dancing. Here's what we danced to last night, and I did an ok job. Oh, and all my cousins sang Two Pina Coladas by Garth Brooks... soooo funny! Only my cousin, Brit, knew it, and my other cousin just bobbed her head.







While I have the electric slide down I still need to work on these 3 dances...
the Bocephus line dance

the Watermelon Crawl, which we did 3-4 times last night


the tush push


I really would like to become good at line dancing. We have a line dancing club literally a half mile from my house, and I could get in for free most any night. My grandma was a member there for over 20 years, and she had a lifetime transferrable membership. She used to get all dressed up to go square dancing and line dancing down there.

60th Birthday

We had such a great time surprising my mom!!!

We weren't sure what we would do. My mom made plans as of yesterday after work to go to a tea with all of the female teachers from her new school about 11a.m. today. We weren't aware of this, but we changed our plans many times, and I texted Linda to tell her how to play along with everything. She tried calling my mom a couple times today to make her think everything was normal, but the phone went to voice mail each time. My mom had called Linda about 9:30 telling her that she wanted to go to dinner at TGI Fridays at 4. We told my mom when she called about 3:30 Linda was stuck at school, couldn't leave immediately, and wanted to do Famous Dave's Barbecue at 6.

When my mom got home at 4:30 we had her change clothes, and she was planning to anyways. We left the house at 5. We planned to have enough time to run to Sears to exchange the dress I got her that was the wrong size. We were getting to Sears at 5:40 and told my mom we had 10 minutes to get the dress in the right size so we could meet Linda at 6. At 6 we were still at Sears, and Linda texted me saying everyone was there, where were we? We planned to be walking in at 6. I texted her we hadn't left Sears. I said we were 7 minutes away- we got there at 6:15. We went to Famous Daves Barbecue- HIGHLY RECOMMEND THE RESTAURANT.

I texted Linda as I parked the car, and we walked up to the restaurant. I walked ahead of my mom, dad, and sister in the hopes I could prepare everyone since Linda didn't text me back. I opened the door and the office manager saw me, and she got everyone ready. Linda was surprised and didn't get my message, and I saw her scrambling for a camera. Though all of my mom's friends were seated in front of her- there were 18 of them- she didn't see them- and it didn't occur to her. She was trying to ask if there were reservations under the name Linda since I said Linda kept texting me she was at the restaurant. My dad saw everyone, and pushed my mom their way. The history teacher waved, and my mom waved back. It didn't register, she thought it was coincidence. As we approached the table they sang happy birthday. It hit my mom about the time they finished singing Happy Birthday, and she began crying.

My mom was so shocked. She went around hugging everyone. Then she thanked everyone as we made our way to our seats in the center of the table. Linda went around making pictures, as did my sister. My mom sat at the table and began crying again. We all talked. The restaurant brought out onion straws for us to snack on. My mom began asking if we knew about this, and how long we'd known. We didn't divulge all the details. My mom continued talking, visiting, with everyone. The restaurant brought out the feast on big tin trash can lids- there were beef briskets, corn on the cob, muffins, chicken, and pork ribs. As the servers brought it out they yelled "FEAST, FEAST, FEAST." The food was delicious- none of us had been there before- and we all commented on how good it was. My mom and the teachers talked about all that's going on at their schools. My mom kept saying how she couldn't believe she was gone a year, yet everyone came, and hadn't forgotten about her. One teacher, the science teacher made the comment that of course my mom hadn't been forgotten, she was one of the backbones of the school that everyone loved. All of the best staff was there.

My mom opened up her presents and read the cards. The waiter said since we had a cake for my mom his gift was some of their barbecue sauce, which we really liked, and thought that was neat. Linda ordered a cake from Costco. Then all the teachers stood up, talked, and visited. It was fun to make my rounds to the different groups and mingle. We hung around for 4 hours or so. The restaurant was not even crowded, and they told us to stay as long as we pleased.

Everyone started leaving about 9:30-10. My mom finally got a chance to talk to Linda, her husband, and the family. We told her we'd been talking about this since March, and everyone was so excited to come. Everyone really was. My mom said how surprised she was, how she hadn't had a birthday party since 3rd grade, and hadn't had a party since she got married. She said how this was definitely something she will remember.

It's all we've talked about since we got in the car to come home. I am all smiles that we pulled this off. My dad is too. My dad is one of those men who is hard to read and may not express his emotion, but he had several smiles tonight, and that was special.

I have to admit I was about to cry, and had to restrain myself as we walked up to the table and seeing all the teachers there as they began to sing Happy Birthday. That to me was so moving. To see so many of my mom's friends. So much love and support. To see my mom so shocked. To see everyone so happy was what made this evening so special, and so touching.

Each one of the cards that my mom received had such heartfelt comments and wishes, not just the generic Happy Birthday.

This was too cool!!!!

There were 18 of us...
- Librarian
- Office manager, we call her the School Mom
- Attendance clerk
- Science teacher who is basically a big kid, so loving, and so caring
- Mel, whom I sub for often
- Linda
- Linda's husband
- School Nurse
- Top history teacher
- Science teacher that was transferred last year, and his wife
- Mal, the one I go to concerts with
- Newcomers English teacher that was transferred last year
- Music teacher
- My mom's good friend, the art teacher that retired 7 years ago
- My mom, dad, sister, myself