My dad has severe PTSD resulting from Vietnam. I hate to mention it because it has been something that is apart of the reason we have never been close. It has been scary at times living with him as a kid. There are several situations I can think of from the past that could go to demonstrate that.
My dad's PTSD has gotten worse in recent months, and one of the reasons is me. I found a letter where my dad wrote down notes that was rather depression and scathing that he wrote for his doctor's appointment that showed how upset he is with me that I'm never home and I don't pay attention to him. He wrote how he believed that he is the one who caused it because of the way he treated me in the past and I'm using my 20s to retaliate against him.
I overheard a phone call when my mom accidentally redialed my phone number a few months back. She was talking to someone and she said how I was telling her that I'd never be hard, and she understood that I was older, but it was taking a toll on my dad and he is in a depression over it. I held on and she just said how much it is paining her.
This afternoon I was sitting on the couch with my mom talking about Christmas gifts that I would like and she said that I would be lucky to get my dad out of the house. I asked why, and she said he is so depressed over me never being home that he hardly leaves the house. He has to be convinced by my sister to go to the grocery store on weekends. He has stopped calling me each day to ask if I'm going to be home for dinner because he can't stand the rejection. He only goes out when asked several times. Today when my mom and I went out shopping he didn't want to go and she said it was because he doesn't think I'm being genuine about wanting to be around him.
I don't know what to think about this, but I hate to think that this is the case...
I know it is probably a response to many things and he is probably displaying his frustration in the wrong way, but he has to understand I'm growing up... maybe we'll just have to schedule time for each other.