I always knew writing papers on the same topic over and over would have a benefit

I always knew writing papers on the same topic over and over would have a benefit someday, somewhere. It seems the time is now with my masters thesis. I have 3 papers that I have written on my chosen topic. My professor for my class sat in astonishment and was very complementary. She has never seen this happen before. She told me how awesome I am. Those in the class who knew me already smirked and thought that was a typical complement of praise for me, but the others who didn't know me were as surprised as the professor was. It seems I have written chapter 1 and 2 of my thesis (introduction and literature review). I have a great start on chapter 3 (my methodology and data). Chapter 4 and 5 (reflection and interpretations) will come quickly based on the results of chapter 3's data. I formatted my paper today how the professor wanted and did some cutting/pasting. It seems I am already a good 25 pages into it. I could easily finish my thesis in the next 8 weeks and probably set a school record. I am amused, thankful, tickled, and more. Soooooooo crazy!

I know writing a masters thesis is no easy task or feat. I have friends and mentors who have given up at various points (Mel, The Guy, and several friends). I know people who have trashed their papers and started over many times. I know the hours of research and sacrifice involved. I know how so many universities have students take up to 2 semesters and devote that solely to working on it. I know most people are not as fortunate. I can't even explain how this all worked out.

Big Lots... of junk

Over the weekend while I was gone my mom went to Big Lots. They were having a customer appreciation sale or something and your entire purchase was 20% off. I can't stand that store. It makes me sad. It is always so trashy. The aisles are littered with toys and so much of what they sell is just tacky. A part of me just dies inside. Actually, I have some good memories of going to Big Lots when I was a kid with my grandma. A lot of the aisles have just junk, though. I can walk through there by myself just fine, but when my mom comes into the picture I get annoyed. She came home with so much junk. She got me some memory foam slippers I'll never wear and that have already found their way to the trash. She got some Nutrisystem frozen dinners nobody will end up eating, some Nutrisystem Chef Boyardee looking containers of pasta that just look nasty. She bought Pringles that nobody will eat. She bought some random Snickers energy candy. She bought 4 monster boxes of Bisquick. I'm all for stocking up, but we don't have the room and the boxes are now sitting up against the large cabinet in the kitchen with all of the canned and boxed goods. And we'll have all of this stuff until the end of time... or until I go on a cleaning spree in a week after she has forgotten about it. What a waste of money to save 20% off...

Food weekend

We know I like to write, but I need to get ready for bed and so bullet points will have to suffice...

Friday Night
- Met Mike at 6:30. We decided on that time after he texted me on his way home from his business trip and was driving home from LA
- We order Dominos Pizza in and track our order with their nifty tracker via their website
- Thin crust veggie and hand tossed cheese, mushroom and onion
- Watch 5 hours of American Idol on the couch, but less thanks to TIVO and Mike cutting out unnecessary commentary and horrible singing
- There are lots of bad singers
- My prediction- I've never watched Idol regularly - but my prediction is that one of the more standards type singers will win- the Broadway type singers or Etta James type
- We both fell asleep to Idol - I fell asleep after him
- We both woke up at 12:40am and went to bed

SATURDAY
- Woke up at 7... too early! But we did enjoy some time together in bed... lol
- Showered
- Met at McDonalds to eat and take his rental car back
- Shared with him some of the stuff I learned about McDonalds thanks to my cousin
- To the airport to drop off the car
- There was an error and the rental car company charged him $1400 to rent the car on his credit card
- To Ontario Mills for some shopping- Went to Marshalls, but ended up walking around the entire mall
- Mike and I started talking about eyebrows after passing the eyebrow threading booth. He didn't know how that worked, so I did my best to explain, although I didn't know 100%. He was oblivious to the fact that I waxed my eyebrows. He told me how they looked so natural. Everyone else says otherwise... that was sweet
- Back to his house to watch "The Middle" and "The Talk"
- We both napped in the afternoon- him longer than me- I should have napped longer, but was wide awake
- When he woke up he asked what I was cooking for dinner
- I volunteered pasta dishes
- I mentioned paella, and since he has a new paella pan he was agreeable
- Went to Fresh & Easy for the ingredients
- Went to Ralphs for the fish- seafood and scallops plus margarita mix
- Rented "The Kids are Alright" and something else
- 2 margaritas and I was ready to make dinner
- I made dinner while Mike sat on the couch talking to the cat, telling him how he didn't have to cook, and watched "V"
- Paella was sooooooooooo awesome
- Add a glass of wine here
- Mike liked it alot and thanked me. I thanked him for paying for it. It was close to $30 to make
- I fell asleep during the 2nd movie, "The Kids Are Alright"
- Was hoping to stay awake during it
- Went to bed about 12:30

SUNDAY
- Woke up at 7:00
- I'm tired of his cat kneading 3-4 times a night when I'm trying to sleep
- Mike was feeling sick and spent about an hour in the bathroom while I laid in bed watching something random
- We finally got up and Mike paid some bills
- He showered, then I did
- As I showered he washed his convertible
- He asked if I wanted to go to Palm Springs
- We drove out to PS
- Stopped at the outlets in Cabazon so he could get Starbucks
- Went to the big street fair at College of the Desert and noticed the lack of Mexican people, but the plethora of old
- Ate bean and cheese tamales
- Went to El Paseo in Palm Desert for Banana Republic
- Discovered Pacifica for really cheap and inexpensive fish, plus good margaritas
- We ended up with mussels and margaritas, which were delish
- Drove around looking at PS modern architecture
- Saw Frank Sinatra's first wife's house
- Met Mike's boss for dinner
- Mike's boss is a british guy in his 50s who is gay and known for picking up young marines
- All of this translated into lots of drama and his tragic stories
- We sat in his backyard drinking wine hearing his stories and Mike kept turning, smiling at me, and I rubbed his knee... like everything he said about his boss was true... lol.
- Mike warned his boss to not corrupt my innocent mind... LOL...
- Ate at Fisherman's and had the best fish tacos
- They forgot the mushrooms and garlic bread Mike ordered - his boss being British called him on that
- Mike lectured his boss about needing to quit smoking
- Went back to his boss' house about 7:45
- Drove back as it started to rain in Banning- convertible top down
- We pull off the freeway and put the top on
- Back to Mike's about 9
- He asks if I am going to stay the night... I wanted to, but needed a change of clothes
- Driving home I felt really sad to leave, which was understandable
- Also felt weird that I wonder when my mom will breach the subject about me being gone so much lately
- I like how when I arrive back home it was like I was never gone, except the family teases me a little for being the long lost child
- I realized how I really need to take $40-60 out of the ATM for the weekend, which is inconvenient, but I can do it. I don't always have $100 on me like Mike. Mike was insistent on paying for breakfast and lunch on Sunday because I had no cash. I did have the tip for the pizza Friday night, which was my last $5. I paid for our food at Pacifica while he snuck away to the bathroom because I try to make sure it is equal.

I'm gonna call the cops on you

I was going to the mall the other day and was driving down the highway toward the mall. I am doing between 55 and 60, which was appropriate as the posted speed limit on the street was 55. I had been in the right lane and there are 2 lanes in each direction. About a mile from the street I need to turn on I signal, check my mirrors, then ease into the left lane. I then go over to the center turn lane. I am stopped maybe 10 seconds. All of a sudden this blonde woman with wavy hair, who is about 50, in a black Toyota Highlander pulls up next to me and stops. She has her window rolled up as do I, and she is mouthing something at me. I look at her strangely, then roll down my window too. She then rolls down her window and yells, "you need to learn to drive, you need to watch your fucking self, you need to be careful, you are a fucking bitch head, young man, I'm going to call the cops on you." She had her phone and started dialing a number and held it up so I could see. I was floored. WTF did I do? I roll up my window and my light turns green. I make my turn and this entire time I'm wondering what I did. I don't think I did anything and I don't think I was being reckless. I think she was just an angry old woman.

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Oh, and on another note there are 2 books I really want to read in the near future. They are old, yet have been out for a while. I want to read "Yo" by Ricky Martin en Espanol y Chelsea Handler's newest book "Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang." And how sexy would that look reading it on an iPad 2? Sadly I'm not sure I qualify to ride it off as an education deduction like I hoped...

One of these days... I will have a masters

One of these days, like in 2 1/2 months I will have my masters degree... I just found out it is 2 more classes. My Monday night class for the next 2 quarters is basically working on my thesis. The good news I got Monday night, the first night of class, is that I could be a good 1 1/2 chapters into it.



I am actually excited for this quarter at school. I'm back in classes with a couple good friends from school- Laura and Jamey. This is the first time Beth and I don't have class together. I did get a plethora of texts from her tonight as she was stuck in class. I said little, but she still texted relentlessly. Back to my Monday night class, though. It should be a challenge, but in a good way as I collect the data necessary for my masters. It should be a challenge in seeing that I am creating my trials appropriately. It won't be easy, and I have no doubt this woman who is teaching the class has a wrath I don't want to experience, but I feel comforted by her at the same time. She assures us she will not let us go and will guide us. She KNOWS her material unlike some of the other nuts I've had. She even is going to treat us to dinner every week in class...

Allergy headaches

My allergy headaches have returned. I have been sleeping most of the evening trying to sleep it off. And I managed thanks to my Coca Cola, migraine medicine, and Tylenol. Ick. If this is only March I am going to have a long, long allergy season.

Oh, and I want an iPad 2. I would love if I could find a way to deduct it on my taxes... I was reading up on the tax laws... I'd be willing to buy ebooks etc. for my laptop, but it seems unless a school requires a computer it is not a tax deductible item...maybe my meager tax rebate check could be put toward the purchase of one?

Is teaching really for me?

I posted the other day about my conversation with Mike and my questioning whether or not I want to be a teacher. I do that often- daily, weekly, monthly, you get the idea. It depends- when I have a defeat at work I question.

I have a bachelors and minor degree that could be very marketable- Spanish and my major could allow me to work in any sort of job I want- journalism, public relations, marketing, human resources, and anything writing related. I would love to do something in one of those fields. Is it difficult to break in? Is it something I am scared of? Does it take time? Does it take sacrifice? Yes to all of those.

I have talked to friends who tell me I have everything it takes to succeed in banking, management, or sales. I think all of those would be neat. Do you have to work your way up in many of those fields to get a level of success for a modest income that you can live comfortably? Yes.

Why am I not taking the sacrifices and trying something different? My comfort level. I tend to stick within my comfort level and teaching just seemed natural.

I have applied for jobs in the fields I mention above, but never really took the risk and followed it whole heartedly. Maybe I should have.

I should have probably said by now I am not giving up on teaching -- afterall I just applied for my teaching credential. I really do like teaching. The feeling when a student finally understands something is amazing. The excitement and thrill that comes with 180 students that look up to you is a rush. The thought that you are impacting lives is cool. You really do hold so much power as a teacher and can turn a student on or off to learning- it works both ways. I find I love the difficult kids- I love English language learners- I love the behavior problem kids (as long as you don't give me too many in the same class where they become unruly). I like the lesson planning sometimes when it flows and when it works. I love the teaching of course, which is why I am going into this. Do I think I'm wrong? No.

I guess where my frustration really lies, and what I told Mike about the other night stemmed from our debate where we are at opposite ends of the spectrum. These are everyday reasons that go through my mind that worry me.
- I am scared as a teacher that test scores will determine our fate- as a young teacher I feel like a target. There are those that will argue as long as you teach, you will be fine. They don't take into account the unruly kids, the kids who perform very low and you move from below basic to basic in their skill levels
- I don't buy that argument "as long as you are doing your job the kids will do theirs" - You expect the kid who might dislike you, doesn't take your performance seriously, the major behavior problem kid, your really low special ed kid to perform well and make sure you keep your job?
------- I know alot of these issues go into teacher performance and I'm not going to argue how/what what way I believe teachers should be tested- I just want to throw out my concerns
- When salaries are on the line and based on performance it has yet to have been made clear how teachers in low performing schools will be impacted, but the consensus seems to be we will never get raises, and that's the kind of school I see myself at.
- Awful administrators that are out to target you- it comes with any profession.
- Teacher pay - Mike seems convinced if teachers weren't unionized we would make $125,000 a year
- Continued slashing of teachers pay- my parents have both taken close to 10% decreases in pay over the past 2 years
- The great backlash against teachers- surely the number of good teachers outnumber the bad
- Backlash against union rights like collective bargaining - it is about rights
- The fall of unions? What about our representation/lack thereof from the unions? Who will represent us? What will happen?
- Abuses from administrators/districts/lack of representation from unions
- The expectation from parents that we should/it is necessary to spend/spend our own my to make our classrooms run. Do they do that for their jobs?
- The pay cuts teachers have already taken... are there going to be more? Is it going to get better? When? Am I going to be able to live modestly? Have a nice car, house, be able to take vacations
---- My pay is important to me because it is about my personal happiness
- The grading
- The pressure to perform
- Anxiety - so many teachers I know are on antidepressants/anxiety meds due to the stressors.
- The fear I'm not good enough
- Teaching is for the bottom of the barrel/housewives - I've heard this from Mike and many others
- The pink slip in my first several years of teaching
- Not knowing what the future will bring as far as teacher pay, respect, reforms, unions, etc.
Many of these arguments you'll probably say come with any job, but again, these are reasons I worry about becoming a teacher... I've been through a lot already in my short teaching career, and it hasn't always been easy. There are a lot of challenges being a teacher which I enjoy, then there are others that I detest, which at times have made me hypersensitive to many of the issues teachers face.