In the heat of the moment

Sometimes I tell people things I really don't mean in the heat of the moment. I told 2 people who are dear to me to fuck off today. I regret saying it now and both understood why I was so worked up and on the edge that it just slipped and that I was truly stressed, having a terrible day. I just can't believe I did that. It is so unlike me to tell someone, yet alone 2 people to fuck off, especially when I need these 2 people the most. I need to watch my mouth and actions. I need more self control. I usually am so much better. I have no problem controlling myself around my parents, in the classroom, but today was different where I was feeling so alone, had nobody around me, had multiple problems, people just rubbed me wrong, and I just let it go.


Update:
I just wanted to post what went on in the 2 cases just to vent and get it off my mind hopefully.

1. I told my friend Mike that he needs to take responsibility on his own, learn to write his own essay for Spanish, without me there to help him piece sentences together and to quit fucking asking me. I called after and apologized profusely letting him know why I was so upset. Mike just thought it was funny.

2. The Guy called and im'd me several times and was nothing but a sympathetic ear online. Then he started ignoring me (because his computer was locking up I found out- or so he says) and I said fuck everything, fuck off. I get a call a few minutes later from him and I ignore it. I get another call and he leaves a voicemail. He has a concerned voice and he says something to the effect of "hey, I am sorry I left. The computer locked up and I come back and I see fuck this, fuck you, and I understand you're upset, but hey, I'm here if you need to talk, give me a call." Again, immediately afterward I felt remorse for saying what I said and I text him apologizing. I tell him "The Guy, Im so sorry for saying fuck you I really didn't mean it. I wasn't thinking, was upset, crying, and in the heat of the moment decided to take my anger out on you because I was thinking and it was stupid on my part because you have done nothing and this doesn't involve you. You don't deserve it at all and did nothing to merit me saying that. It was stupid on my part. I really am sorry and feel horrible now that I did it." Less than a minute later I get a text saying "totally understand... my comp froze blue screen of death! Take care & see ya soon!" I texted him back letting him know how appreciative I am and how stressed I am with everything going on right now. I still wanted to call and apologize. I was crying and I said "The Guy, I'm so sorry that I told you to fuck off" and he told me to relax and that he's here if I wanted to talk.