Saturday, December 11, 2010

Family blame

My dad and mom went to my dad's Christmas Party at work for the first time ever- he'd never gone, but wanted to go this year. It's cool that after working at the school so many years he's finally getting out doing things like this.

As they were coming home they got a call from my aunt in Oklahoma. She was crying because my aunt in Nor Cal's husband was calling blaming my mom as well as her for my aunt's heart attack. My aunt in Nor Cal had a heart attack Thursday or Friday I guess. My uncle in Nor Cal blamed my aunt and mom for practically sending her to her death bed. She is so stressed about everything that it is no doubt she had one. My mom assured my aunt that it is probably the stress as she is finally getting caught up in all of her lies and to not let my aunt's husband put all of the blame on her. No surprise she didn't call us. There have been 2 significant events that happened this week that have been sort of victories regarding my aunt and my grandma's estate. I think my aunt is finally realizing the little things she has done that helped us with those victories and will really hurt her monetarily and hurt her reputation.

When I heard the news of the heart attack I can't say I felt sadness. I felt good about it after the way she treated my grandma. I was more in disbelief, and not really sad, just surprised. This is the woman who preaches she drinks red wine for heart health, eat lots of veggies, play tennis, everything is about taking care of your health and body; yet she didn't encourage my grandma or enable her to do that, but I digress. Anyways, when my parents told me this I had a hard time getting my head around it. She had a heart attack. My aunt is in her mid 60s. She has never had a health scare like this before and her health always seems to be better than the rest of the family. She has to have some sort of splint as it was explained to me to fix the problem caused by the heart attack. I'm getting all of the details thirdhand.

Heart problems run on that side of the family, which concerns me. I deal with a lot of stress- not that my stress is any greater than anyone else- but I worry when I feel anxiety, when my heart races. I deal with a lot of stress- stuff with my aunt (not so much anymore), personal stuff- being gay and the things I have never told my mom or dad. I deal with work and school. I do like stress to an extent- healthy stress- the pressure of deadlines at work and school- the pressure to plan a great lesson- the pressure of being observed- the pressure to do a good job for my students. I know that I can't take on too much and I do know when to push away and withdrawal. I've done the withdrawal aspect in many ways with issues related to my aunt. I do try to do my best to work out and eat right, to help relieve stress and stay in good shape. That isn't enough- I still have anxiety issues, and I know that is not good. I have an issue I mentioned- I have a fast pulse. The allergist told me I am a walking time bomb for a heart attack and I was barely 21. I still carry that thought in the back of my head that I could be killing myself.

2 comments:

fan of casey said...

Mike: Why is it that people who do evil things prey on the sympathies of others? They certainly lay the guilt trip heavy - such as your uncle blaming your mom and aunt. Oh well, don't let it bother you, you have the right attitude, especially how mean your Nor Cal aunt has been to you.

It's good that you are taking proactive steps to manage your stress levels, including your anxiety. Stay healthy and happy.

Aek said...

Lol, what does your allergist know? He/she isn't a cardiologist. Although, I must say that your heart rate is noticeably fast. However, I think it'd be more dangerous for you to take meds to slow your heart down than to just let it be.

You can only do so much and only control so much of your life and health. If you want a better predictor of your long-term outcome, take great notes of your family history and their diet and exercise levels as well.

P.S. I hate it when someone blames others for misfortunes unrelated.