Answers to your questions

This goes out to reader Bruce, in particular, who a few posts back when I mentioned I was coming out to my best friend posed questions like about when my friend chose to be straight. So I sat out to have these questions answered for my satisfaction moreover. I hope this doesn't offend you, because that is not my intention. I am not saying I'm not upset by his words, because I am. He is saying them to ME and we are friends... or so I thought.

When did my friend proclaim he was straight?
- Answer: There was no question- he decided that when he accepted God in his life.

If being gay is a personal choice, then why do gays go through all the hate and ridicule?
- Answer: his words directly:

Me: i don't believe that- a lot of the arguments are why would gays subject themselves to the hate and torture and other things?

Friend: cause, they stand out
they make themselves known
a NON follower of God

Me: but would gays really do this voluntarily- subject to hate, killing, murder, loss of friends, family, whatever as a personal choice?
because they want to stand out?

Friend: some people are willing to do whatever it takes
plus, they may have been social ostrasized
like if I told a child his WHOLE life that he was gay, but not really meaning that he was gay, just acted gay, his mindset might take on the form that he really is gay

Me:
but not all gay ppl are told that- i'm sure that a lot of ppl know, hide it from their family- how many parents are going to tell their kids "you're gay?"

Friend:
some do
and it's not justparent
s
school mates
siblings
many many other factors
and that's just one example
some might turn gay based on the fact that no person of the other gender wants them

Me:
so you're going to turn gay if no woman wants you?
i have a hard time buying that

Friend:
soem peopleget desperate
also, some people want to experiment
I've heard many cases of a man being married to a woman and she divorces him. The disownment causes him to feel that no woman will accept him and he turns gay

Me:
but i've also heard a lot of it is these guys have known all along

Friend
how can you?

Me:
but society has placed such emphasis on getting married, that is the thing to do, that these men out of fear hide it- think back in the 50s- how many guys were out? they weren't- it was out of fear- sure i'm making it a little simplistic, but think of "leave it to beaver"- mom at home and dad at work model

Friend:
why would you but someone through all the trouble of marrying them just ot be gay all along?
well, gay looks like it's the thing to do now
since we're all being brainwashed that we should "accept them"
well, I DO accept them
but that doesn't mean I have to believe it's right

Me:
right, and i'm not saying you do say it is right
but acceptance is the keyword
and that's what bothers me cuz i see a lot of christians who don't
and it makes religion and claiming that you're a christian a turnoff

Friend:
well, aren't I a christian?

Me:
yes

Friend:
I rest my case
I have friends who are gay
I accept their choices
but, doesn't mean I support it
if he wants me to go to a gay convention, or make me find my inner gay, I"ll refuse
in my heart, I don't believe it's right to be gay

Me:
Oh, really?
right
and 99% of the time i don't think they're asking you to think you're gay

Friend:
well, gonzo is making you
lol
you have to admit tothat

Me:
NO

Friend:
she wouldn't stress it so much if she didn't think you were
she does make a lot of guys question

Me:
but honestly, i've questioned my sexuality before her- she's just supportive and I can't ask for more

Friend:
to make you experiment
having a guy suck on your cock?
Go on a date with a guy?
I mean, come on, you wouldn't of dreamedof these things when we were yonger

Me:
of course, no guy grows up thinking i'm going to go on a date with another guy
when did you hear about gays first? i know your parents didn't sit down and lay out your sexuality choices when you were young and you didn't know about being gay

Friend:
why not?
some guys say they knew they were gay all their lives/

Me:
true, but they hide it from their families and it takes time to develop your sexual identity and understand you have an attraction to a certain sex- it says that in most biology and sociology books

Friend:
do you believe everythign you read?
it's just a book
written by ordinary people

Me:
no- i question it, but it makes sense- it takes time to understand- sexuality is complex

Friend:
HUMANs
and humans make mistakes
how so does it take time/

Me:
people who study that subject matter- and a lot of work has been put into these fields

Friend:
I knew I liked tits the minute I laid eyes on them
obviously not enough work
since I've always known I liked women

Me:
when did you decide you were straight? i'm asking that seriously

Friend:
I've always known
I like women
it wasn't really a matter of choice to me. I've always been interested in women

Me:
right, but i guess to me that's why it makes sense a little kid has a hard time if they are attracted to the same sex- it takes a while to process these feelings because you're taught this is normal- like women or like men- but the kids don't exactly know that right of the back, it takes time to figure out and learn

Friend:
I did
I knew that there wsa a choice
and living my life with a guy didn't feel right

Me:
you tried it out?

Friend:
I don't see how marriage is the norm
there are a LOT of people who choose to be single
single parents too

Me:
nowadays, but marriage is still valued as a piece of paper, which homosexual couples want, just like straight to claim they are equal, they have the same values, things of that sort

Friend:
So what is normal?
there's no evidence of normalcy anymore
everyone's different

Me:
normal i'd say is considered the dominant- heterosexuality
bu everyone is different and that is the problem

Friend:
let there be gay marriage
hell, let there be marriage between animals and humans too
If I want to marry my dog, shouldn't I be allowed to?

Me:
a dog is different- a dog is not a person- that's just an extreme
a lot of propaganda

Friend:
well, what about a monkey?
since they ARE our ancestors right?

Me:
but you're talking about making marriage just whatever- marriage is still valued and that's what gays are asking for- a valued piece of paper saying they're equal

Friend: how is it valued?

Me:
the piece of paper claiming equal rights, that their commitment to their partner is the same as that of a hetero couple

Friend: what does it matter?
marriage is "just the norm"
their obviously not normal since they're gay
why not just be domestic partners?
they can make the commitment without a peice of stupid paper

Friend:
they should make their own peice of paper then
I guess
i don't know
I dont' reallyl care anymore
let them get married if its "SOOOO IMPORTANT" to them
don't see what the big deal isreally
bitch

Me:
i see

Friend:
they should make their own peice of paper then
I guess
i don't know
I dont' reallyl care anymore
let them get married if its "SOOOO IMPORTANT" to them
don't see what the big deal isreally
the rest of the country is screwed up anyways
why not screw up marriage as well

Me:
why not help a group of people?

Friend:
it cost more for gas then beer
how screwed up is that
we have messed up politicians
our jails and schools are over populated
drugs are ramped

.......................... and the monotony went on...........................