We both needed each other to lean on

The Guy and I have been chatting late at night (after midnight) the past couple nights. He has been unable to sleep and that was my problem also. We've been talking about why we're both upset. I was very open and told him it was family stuff. He has hinted he is upset and suffering, but not why. Friday night I called him on accident when I was trying to go through my phone menu to call my uncle, but hit his number on accident. I was in a parking lot arguing with my parents at the time about why not to call my uncle. The Guy calls me a few minutes later asking if I called and I explained the whole situation. I pointed out how though I was upset because I had just been handcuffed by the police for my supposed trespassing, but know I did nothing wrong, that everything was ok and I had no reason to worry. I was really scared about the whole incident because well, handcuffs are serious; I could have been taken into custody and have that on my record; the thought of the police running after me, all of that. I did nothing wrong- let me just put all of your minds to rest- I climbed over the fence to my grandma's house because there was police activity in front of her house and couldn't get there. The police saw me and thought I was trespassing, but they weren't letting anyone walk down her street, so I hopped the fence to try to get around it and was apprehended. Thank goodness for my parents, the fact it really was my grandma's house, the fact the police were sympathetic toward our situation, and stuff like that. Some explosives were found on the street in front of my grandma's house, the police sent a call to the alarm company to set off her alarm, we thought it was a break-in, so we came running to see what could be done.

Anyways, I talked to The Guy about the severity of the incident and how I was doing so well in contrast to other recent events. He agreed. Though, as we talked, I became more and more sick. I was mad about recent events and my mom's handling and how the event of that night was making me upset for other reasons. When talking about my mom's handling, he started telling me on IM how it was me needing to let go, but then he called me at 1:19a.m. and we talked and we realized it was my mom and we talked about how to handle it. I disagreed what he recommended would work, but will try it just because I don't want anything more to do with what happened.

The Guy called me at 9:00a.m. or so yesterday and I purposely ignored him. I was mad because I was still upset about the events the night before and was taking it out on him. I got a dozen or so IM's from him over the course of 4-5 hours and I ignored them. He im'd me on my cell phone because I was actually out with friends meeting them to see Batman. We were all there, all but one person and we thought he forgot, so I tried AIM on my phone since just 15 minutes before he was on AIM and it was at this time I got several IMs from The Guy. Again, I ignored them. I called him when I got out of the theater and apologized for me ignoring him, borrowing grief, and stuff like that. Going out with friends gave me a lot of time to calm down and think about how ridiculous I was being. I tried to IM him, and I emailed him. He didn't reply. Finally I resorted to calling him on his house phone. He didn't pick up and I brought an anxiety attack on because I thought he was mad at me and ignoring me. I called him a second time and got him on his house phone. He said he turned off all technology in his house- cell phone, TV, computer, and stuff like that to prove that he could do it. He was trying to nap. I found out later his reason for turning everything off.

Anyways, we talked and I told him how the events of Friday night just made me sicker. He said he had a really good show he wanted me to watch on TV. I said ok and we agreed I'd go over to his house. When I got there, The Guy was up from his nap, in the living room on his laptop and watching "The Wedding Date." I showed him pictures of the police activity from the newspaper the night before just because what I described seemed a little out of this world and I wanted him to know it really did happen. He was shocked and joked how I now had a souvenir. We watched the end of the show and "Monster in Law" started. We have both seen it, but there's such a hot guy in it, it merited watching it again.

After the end of that, he asked me what I wanted to do. I said I didn't care- we could watch the show that I came to, but he didn't want to. He asked if I had gotten off this week. I said no. He said he had a friend who wanted to come over. I said oh. I knew who the friend was. It was Bret, who him and I had a threesome with before. I laughed and said you're horny. The Guy also said that he wanted to have a 4th guy over because he has never had a foursome. He showed me who he was thinking of. Some guy who lived about 30 miles away. I said no. I came over and sat next to him and he showed me the picture. I said no. He felt my crotch, said I was horny, and of course wanted to. I said no. He e-mailed this guy back and forth and I talked about my reasons for not wanting to. I knew Bret already. I said the ultimate reason was The Guy was really horny, or upset about something, so this was his solution and I pointed that out. He said maybe.

We went out to the spa. We talked out there and The Guy told me he could see in my eyes I was mat at him and I reiterrated my reasons from earlier, as well as I am fine with a twosome, the whole STD worry, etc. He said he was going to call the whole thing off. We talked more and just agreed on Bret and that we would play it safe.

We get in and it is about 8:30 when Bret shows up. We all have some wine and watch TV. Bret wants to sit on the floor, but then The Guy has him come up and sit with him on The Guy's right side, I sit on the left, and The Guy in the middle. The dog comes up and tries to sit on me, so we move some, and then Bret is laying up against me. He is stroking my arm and I have my hand on his chest. The Guy is now sitting where Bret was and has his hand on Bret's crotch rubbing it.

We go in The Guy's bedroom and I suck on The Guy's dick while waiting for Bret. Then he comes in and sucks The Guy's balls. The Guy is jacking both of our dicks. Bret and I 69 after The Guy said we should. Then we all suck each other's dicks. I could tell The Guy wasn't really into it. He put a condom on and lubed me up, then fucked me. Then he fucked Bret. We go in the shower because The Guy had a ton of lube on his face somehow and Bret was in the other bathroom. We get in the shower, rub up against each other. Bret sucks my cock while The Guy fucks him. I move and play with The Guy's chest, lick his neck, and stuff like that. We end up jacking both of our dicks on Bret's face because he wanted that.

We're all starved afterward. Bret and I hadn't eaten anything all day and it was 9p.m. We decide on Round Table Pizza. It was 9:45 and the pizza came about 10:30. Bret sat on my lap and I held him while we watched TV waiting for the pizza to arrive. The Guy played DDO. Bret was rubbing my arm and other things while watching TV. When the pizza guy came, he was making out with me, but the delivery boy didn't see. He pointed out how hot it would have been if he did. I felt really inadequate while kissing. I didn't know what Bret was doing 90% of the time. It was a lot of us playing with each other's lips. Bret got me my pizza, which The Guy sat on the coffee table in front of us and Bret continued to sit on my lap while eating. After eating, Bret positioned himself so that his crotch was so I could reach it. Seeing he was going after mine, I went after his. We continued kissing and making out. I was the daring one who finally made the move, undid his pants, and reached in to grab his dick. He undid my pants and got into my boxers. He kept my dick in my pants. About another 10-15 minutes passes and he starts jacking my dick and takes it out. I do the same to him. The Guy is just looking on. We jack each other off and the action more or less commences at 11:30. I complain to The Guy that I have a headache and felt really dizzy. He says I should take some Tylenol. I did. The Guy announces he is going to bed, but Bret isn't leaving and wants to wait it out with me. Finally, I get ready and say I'll go because I know The Guy is tired and felt like he was being unfair to him in that way. So we say our goodbyes, hug, and take off. The GUy and I didn't hug because I was just trying to get out to the car since I felt so dizzy.

I get about a couple miles down the freeway and have to pull off. I pull into the big Costco parking lot and sit for about 10-15 minutes. At 12:10a.m. I call The Guy and tell him I can't drive home. I felt really unsafe, had a hard time staying in the lanes, and the headlights on the other side of the freeway weren't helping. I ask The Guy if I can stay the night and I didn't mind crashing on the couch. He said yes, because I couldn't drive, but said he wanted to talk to me first. He said he didn't know if I'd be comfortable knowing, so that's why he said nothing. He said that he has sort of been seeing someone for the past 3 weekends. They are 23, in the military, in San Diego. The Guy was bummed and I was right because he felt like there was a connection with this guy. He was upset that this guy hadn't called him. He felt a little guilty/like he was cheating by getting off tonight and with me the other day. He talked about how this guy told him he was going to be away for the weekend. They hung out the past 3 weekends going to dinner, having sex, this guy, Ben, had Tiger on his Mac and The Guy upgraded to Leopard. On Tuesday, The Guy called him and Ben said he was going to the dentist because he broke his tooth. Then there was no phone call afterward. The Guy tried to call and became upset- he gave some concessions that yes, he is in the military, maybe it is hard to get away from the other guys, or be in private, but not even a text or e-mail. I was back on the freeway and I could hear The Guy tearing up and I have never heard him cry, so I was become nervous and worried. As I was getting off the freeway, it was getting really intense. He said that he always feels like the bad guy in relationships because he goes out of his way and gives so much. I said that he does have the biggest heart out of anyone that I know, that he does go out of his way for everyone, so it is not him; it is the other guys not realizing all that he has to offer. The Guy asks how far away I am, then I said in his driveway. He said he was going to come outside. The Guy's door to his house opens and he is standing with his back up against the kitchen sick staring at me with tears in his eyes and he is crying. We move over to the counter and The Guy is crying even more intensely. He is talking about all he did for this guy like the music, how he felt there was a connection because both agreed all their eating out was getting expensive, and how he tried everything to be cool, helpful, and stuff like that. He talked about how usually he'd be crying alone, but this time it was me being there for him.

The Guy asks if I wanted to go for a walk and I really didn't, but I wanted to know more and let him talk about what was on his mind and try to console him the best I could. We get the dog, go outside, and start walking to the park. The GUy talks about how good Ben had made him feel and how it was like little bread crumbs he was being offered and he was eating them up. He talked about how it made him feel so good. He talked about how his self esteem just felt so high. The Guy again harps on how in all of his relationships he did what he did here. Here, in this case, when he brought up how maybe there was something more serious going on, this guy didn't respond. He said how he seems to have failed again because this guy was 23 and this guy wants something different in a relationship than The Guy, who is older. He asked me if I thought he was doing anything wrong and I said no. He is everything a guy could ask for- he is loving, caring, smart, and stuff like that. He said he was at the gym with Joe the other day and Joe said the same things and doesn't understand where The Guy comes up short. The Guy talked about how he hasn't slept the past 2 nights because of this. The Guy talked about how guys don't seem to give in and go as far for him as he does for them. I said that in his friends I don't see that as the case. Me alone, I drive 30 miles out of my way to see him because of everything he is- funny, smart, fun, and loving. He also talked about how he hates the constant rejection that he gets when he is not a bad looking guy- he is great looking!!! He talked about how he has been having such a hard time and didn't want to relapse into the weight gain and other things. Since he had met Ben he had dropped 15 pounds. I plan to make sure THe Guy is at least making it to the gym and offer to go with him if he'll go to the country club since we don't go to the same gym. The Guy talks about how he turned off all the technology in his house on Saturday because he wanted to see if he could do it and stop worrying about Ben. We both talked about how we're very close and worry when we can't get in touch with each other. The Guy talked about how he is thinking of being very cordial, calling Ben, and just saying if they want to be friends, at least communicate with each other. I wish I had told The Guy/maybe it is a good thing that I didn't that if Ben can't communicate with him now, there wouldn't be communication in the relationship.

We walk back to The Guy's and Bret is there looking for his cell phone. He said he lost it and I said I saw him with it when he was getting in his car and driving away because he waved to me with it in his hand as I drove away. The Guy calls his cell phone and walks around the street seeing if maybe it fell off his car or something. Bret finds it in his car- it slipped under a blanket. We chat a few minutes and I told him how my headache is still there, and since I live 30 miles away didn't want to risk driving, so turned around.

We get back in the house and I lay down on the couch. The Guy said something to the effect of good, he was glad because of everything that was going on he sort of felt like he was cheating on this guy. I said it wasn't a big deal at all. His couch is very comfortable. Then The Guy said just sleep with me. I said no, I'd stay on the couch. He asked if I wanted a blanket and he got his that he uses when he watches TV. I laid on the couch holding my head, trying to fall asleep. I fall asleep and wake up at 7:30. I still have a headache. I'm surprised at this time The Guy is not up. I get some Tylenol as quietly as I could and went back to bed. I woke up at 9:30 and The Guy is still asleep. I walk into the hallway to check. I was sneaky enough to not wake his dog and was able to peek through the crack in the door. I go back to sleep. The Guy's dog comes in at 10:45 and licks me. The Guy asks if I'm feeling better. I told him I still had a headache and he got me more Tylenol. We play some DDO and watch "Harry Potter." I offer to leave because the dizziness had subsided, which was the reason I didn't drive home. We finish "Order of the Phoenix," and he decides he is going to go swimming. I let him and we hug, thank each other for everything, and he thanks me for listening to him last night. I leave at 1:30.