Keal messaged me on connexion about a week back and he said he was really seeking me out because I didn't seem like a flaming gay guy. He wants someone to talk to as he comes out. He is my age, 21, but only a junior in college. His ethnic background is pretty diverse- he is Hawaiian, Portuguese, Irish, and white. Keal and I chatted every free moment we had online this week. He is a junior at a conservative, private, Christian college in the area. He has known for years and struggled since at least 7th grade to acknowledge he was gay. He basically had a couple breakdowns this summer, spent time chatting online, found connexion, and is now bound to come out. We chatted a lot this week about both having the Christian background. He talked about how worried he was about coming out to his parents. He has 4 older siblings- 1 brother and 3 sisters all of whom have messed up or not measured up in their parents eyes. Keal hasn't had any of those problems, but he is worried this will be his issue and how hurt he is he can't tell his parents about this. I talked about my own experiences and stuff like that with him this week.
We proposed Wednesday night or so that we should hang out. He is feeling really burnt out right now working 2 jobs that total over 50 hours a week, he is a full time student, he volunteers for a nonprofit organization in LA. We both had a lot to talk about and so it seemed like a good idea. He had 3 hours he could schedule in for me on Sunday night after 7:30.
I drive over to Victoria Gardens and he calls me at 7:40 saying he could be there at 8:30. That was great- it gave me time to go to Living Spaces Furniture. He called me while I was at Living Spaces and we proposed to meet in front of JCPenney. He calls me and tells me he is in front of it, I didn't see him, so I realized he was on the other side, so I drive around, and see him.
We shake hands, then talk about our weekend as we walk to find a restaurant. Most places were closed. We settled on Yardhouse since he had never been. He is pretty talkative talking to the busser about business and stuff like that. We're seated over behind the bar. We see all the sports on the TV and ask about what sports teams we're into. He's into every sport and he is the kid born with a bad in his hand. His dad was always little league coach, etc. I talked about how it took me until 2nd or 3rd grade to learn to play baseball. Things like that. We talked about family life again, which was basically a reiteration about everything we talked about during the week. We talked about school and his dream to study abroad in Nairobi. He wants to work in 3rd world countries when he is older helping them to stabilize themselves through agriculture, etc.
He went back to talking about his weekend, how he was so busy with work, but also how he scheduled in 5-6 hours to drive out to CSUN to meet with a good friend, former classmate and coworker who he hadn't seen in 5-6 months. He said they talked and he was comfortable enough to just open up and tell his friend. Overall, she was supportive. He also went to his first gay bar this weekend with a group of coworkers. His friend said he wanted to take him to a bar, his friend is gay, then the next thing he knows it is a gay bar. He texts another coworker and tells him, then this coworker tells him to stay safe and not go home with a guy, so he has a feeling that his coworkers know; but was glad it was such a nonissue.
I told him my story about how I decided to start dealing with being gay since he seemed interested. I did tell him about The Guy, but not everything we've done, just how he has been really supportive. Keal then said that was what he wants out of me- if I could be that person he can call to listen to him, how he thinks I'll be trustworthy because I am Christian, but also not out, and things like that.
We finished up eating and he looked like he was falling asleep. He still had to go home and do TONS of homework. So we left at 10 and walked to our cars.
Haven't talked to him today, but we did talk about sneaking away for 4-5 hours Saturday to go to Disneyland.
1 comment:
Just two breakdowns? He's doing good!
That's basically how I advanced my acceptance of being a Mo. Through mental anguish causing untold angst and then finally fleeting acceptance of the details that caused the crisis necessitating me finding people like myself rather then the straight people I had surrounded myself with in my life.
He sounds like he's making good and fast progress. Glad you guys enjoyed each other's company and all that.
Some of us have been there! Us closeted types I guess anyway. Your doing good Mike. I wish I'd of dealt with all this at the age you have. Your way ahead of me.
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