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Got home about 10p.m. last night. Sad to be home. I had a great time. My friend still lives at home. Stayed with his family. Had my own room. I really feel like a part of their family. We can get together and it is like no time has passed between us. His mom considers me a second son. I consider her a second mom.

While I was there the gay issue came up several times. The first night my friend talked about going to a bar and seeing 2 girls making out and taking garments off. He was disgusted how into it they were and how it was not hot. Two girls making out is just not normal. His mom seconded it and called it a disease. I just scoffed it off. We talked about a neighbor I've seen at a gay bar and so yes, it came out that I've been to gay bars. My friend's mom said how disgusting it was, but knew this kid was gay. My friend later that night said he had nothing against gay guys, they can do their own thing, but if they are flamboyant he doesn't like it because they are acting out for attention and want to be different. I said well, I am, but I consider myself pretty masculine. He said, "I accept that."

My friend's girlfriend was out of town all week THANK GOD. Nice girl, but she would have been all over him, I would have been the third wheel, less guy talk, stuff like that. I will probably not get to be "alone" with him like this again since he is planning on marrying the girl, the distance between us, I'm sure it'll be like me traveling to see them, them traveling to see me.

I had my own room. We didn't sleep in the same bed. The most I saw of my friend was his chest at the beach, or his boxers when he lifted up his shirt and I could see the waistband.

My friend's girlfriend didn't know I was gay. My friend sent a couple texts to his girlfriend. One night we were out walking and he said that Mike and him were taking a walk together. She wrote back asking if we were holding hands. I said yes, then told him to write caressing his hand, sneaking kisses. He did. She is a good girl. She could take the teasing. That's something his other girlfriends couldn't do. When she got back into town she asked if my friend and I had a good time. I was like "oh, we did, last night was amazing, laying next to each other in bed, making out." She made comments like "Boyfriend really fulfills me like no other guy ever has." I said "he doesn't just fulfill you, but he fulfilled me last night when we were making love." She laughed and thought it was hilarious and she was just as catty and played right along. I liked that. My friend had no objections and I think she knew I was no threat. Gonzo did text me at one point when we were playing Phase 10 and said she met a guy for me. Gonzo routinely does this, but nothing ever comes of it. I showed them the text and she asked if I was gay. His girlfriend, a VERY Christian girl born and raised in Mississippi just said "cool."

I think this is a good girlfriend for my friend. Um. He was showing me pics of a wet t-shirt contest he went to in Florida of other girls and his girlfriend was right in there looking at the pics with us.

One thing I did notice on this trip was how unattracted I am to girls. I can tell a hot girl. Have no problem pointing one out, telling what makes them hot, and I can act straight, and be like "yeah, nice boobs," but I found myself staring, looking for any hot guys, seeing my friend point out hot girls, and stuff like that, and feeling really strongly turned off.

AND LASTLY... because I am considered family I was invited to attend his sister's wedding at the end of April back in Mississippi. It is on a Friday night. I will have school Monday and Wednesday and could take off of work relatively easily by just blocking myself out for those few sub days. To attend or not? I want to to see my friend. He asked if I was coming. His mom told me she'd love to have me and almost sounds like she expects me there. It would be a short trip. I can save up the money easily. Questions. Decisions.