Linda calls

Scene: Class, 7:31p.m. last night
Phone rings
2 minute voicemail message from Linda asking me if I work tomorrow, who I'm subbing for, if I am bringing my lunch, and to say hi to my mom

Scene: Walking to my car from school at 10:20p.m., Linda calls
Me: Hello
Linda: Hi Mike!
Me: Hi, what's going on?
Linda: (lots of random talk about how she hasn't seen me all week- not true- but I haven't eaten lunch with her). Well, come over to my class if you have any free time tomorrow. Call me before you leave for work tomorrow if you want me to stop for lunch for us.
Me: Thanks, that's really nice. Lunch sounds good.
Linda: I thought so... I was thinking Jack in the Box... I want to be sure you get fed... ...............
Me: I appreciate it.
Hang up my phone at 10:28

Scene: 5:59 this morning, phone rings (I was up)
Me: Hello
Linda: Mike, Mike, I just wanted to be sure you are up.
Me: I have been up for 18 minutes.
Linda: You are so precise, I love it.
Me: haha
Linda: Are you dressed yet and ready to go to work? What are you wearing? It is going to be hot out.
Me: Nothing yet. I'm debating going nude today.
Linda: GASP! You are not!
Me: I can get away with it.
Linda: Mike, you cannot go nude.
Me: Watch me.
Linda: Well, when you get to school nude, call or text me.
Me: Ok.
Linda: I want to know if you want lunch and if we're going to be able to eat together, so once you talk to everyone let me know.
Me: Uh huh, will do.
Linda: So what are you wearing?
Me: Loin cloth.
Linda: Do you have any around?
Me: In all different colors.
Linda: I don't think it would be appropriate.
Me: It will be hot enough today to get away with it.
Me: Well, I have to go. I need to put the trash out.
Linda: But you're nude.
Me: Ok.
Linda: Well, have a safe drive in. If you need anything, call me.

Ok... this morning after I called I realized Linda has basically adopted me and I am taking the place of her son. She is going to become just as controlling and wonder what I'm doing, want to know everything. Um. Not happening. Seriously. I've gotten 3-4 calls this week from her. Thankfully I don't pick up everytime.