I have felt some major anxiety over the past day or so. I am really not sure why. I have had a good weekend. I spent Saturday working on schoolwork and then the night with Ry.
I spent Sunday doing lots of errands: grocery shopping, the gym, revising my lesson plan, a trip to Best Buy for HDMI cords, did some cleaning my bedroom, and washed my car. I was ready to start my week off.
Today I got up and cleaned the bathroom and made breakfast. I went to work. Work was so so. The students were awful today, as if they had forgotten how to misbehave over the weekend. I didn't teach much today, except in the last class. The AP came in during 2nd period and sat for about 15 minutes. Linda was teaching since she wanted to get them started on their project. The AP really wants to see me in action, and is coming in tomorrow during 2nd period when I'm being observed by my advisor at my college to watch. Is this what is making me nervous? Is it that the AP has come in 3-4 times and asked when I'm going to be teaching and those happen to be the periods I'm not? I don't think so- the AP knows, Linda knows, it's just what has happened. Linda and I are a great team. She usually teaches the first couple classes, then I take over after lunch. The principal came in during 6th period and the kids were doing pretty good. We'd set the kids free working, and they were working independently on a project. I hope he comes back in soon when I'm teaching. He came in about a week ago and stood in the doorway for a good 5 minutes while I was lecturing on the plot line. I feel tremendous support at this school. If I have to student teach and do it for free this is the place to be. I know all the teachers, staff, students, and the atmosphere is one where I feel no pressure/am comfortable (even though Linda does drive me crazy on some days!!!!) It is an environment where I will learn and get the lesson planning part out of student teaching, which is where I can really grow. I should do a post about Lindaisms.
Is it the butterflies and nervousness I'm getting with Ry that things may work out? Is it me nervous waiting for a text? Is it the fear of rejection? A little.
I mentioned that I have an observation tomorrow, and I do. It is in history, and the lesson plan was not my idea. I've done debates, and so there's no reason this one should go wrong, other than the students misbehave, students don't understand since they've never done one. I'm going to model and explain to the kids how it works before we begin. My advisor is great and very complementary, and I think this will happen again. Is it nervousness about this? A little. Is it added pressure the AP will watch? Maybe.
Why do I feel so stressed and anxious? Maybe after 1p.m. tomorrow I'll be back to normal. Hopefully?
3 comments:
Mike: First thing, getting HDMI cables from BB almost guarantees you are getting ripped off. Try Amazon.com's basic cables, they should work fine for your setup, $7 to 8 each depending on length.
As for your anxiety, hard for us to tell -- maybe all of the above. But sometimes a little added pressure is good, you rise to challenge and it forces you to step up your game, makes you better in the long run so that when even more stressful situations arise, you can handle the stress better. Sounds like you very much are in learning mode at school, added skills can only polish your resume.
Almost sounds like some of my anxiety transferred to you!! :-/ Just remember to breathe.
Mike!
Sometimes the nervousness/anxiety can be a good motivator to get things done, if you can redirect it properly!
Listen to Aek and breathe!
-Dean
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