GET TESTED!

I have written on here MANY times how scared I was to go get tested alone, how I wanted to go with The Guy, and how we said we would. Things happened however, like the whole Josh incident, us not hanging out for a while at the beginning of January. He is the only person I'm comfortable enough to go with because he is a great friend, but also I've had sex with him. Going with Gonzo would have just been awkward because then she would have been able to deduce I've had sex. I have made myself sick over it many times before, especially with people like Stalker Mike constantly bringing up the question.

Back on February 6, an ad ran in our newspaper that the AIDS Center in my city had free testing everyday through this Friday from 1-6:30. I made a promise to myself I would do it WITH or WITHOUT The Guy. I told myself I was going tomorrow- not like the I'll do it tomorrow, but I really did plan to go tomorrow. However, I sat in my class this afternoon and after talking with a friend about it online the only thing I could think about was how I'm having to wait and put myself through another 24 hours of agony. I wasn't going to do that. I was literally sick. Stomach hurt and I had a headache. I DIDN'T HAVE MY ANXIETY MEDS HOWEVER, AND I COULD EASILY FEEL AN ANXIETY ATTACK COMING ON. IT WAS BAD. My teacher let us out of class 30 minutes early, but even if she let us out at the usual time I would have had 90 minutes to go down there and get tested.

So I drive downtown and look for the building. I have to get my iPhone out and map out the location. I realized I was sitting across from it the whole time, but there was no sign on the building.

I go in and a blond Spanish girl helped me. She had me fill out the paperwork, which I was apprehensive about. It wanted things like my social security number, only if I wanted to provide it. It wanted my address, then to know my sexual activity. I wasn't going to give my social and didn't. When it came to address I couldn't think of which one to give- my home address, mailing address, or my grandma's address. I finally decided on my grandpa's old address. The house is in foreclosure and so why not? I give her the paperwork and she takes me in the lab. She explains how it is a 99.9% accurate oral swab test, asks why i came in, and if I had questions. I knew it was. Easy. Good. I sit in the waiting room for 20 minutes afterward pensive, making toast on my iPhone (an app on my iPhone). It got boring quickly, but I was trying to do something as mind numbing as possible.

The woman helps a guy who has some questions about getting a girl pregnant that I overhear, then the guy who was sitting in the office comes out and walks back and forth with my papers and then test. I get nervous wondering why he walks back and forth. Finally, he asks me to come into an exam room. I go in and he asks if I had any questions. I said no. He said he wanted to let me know that I was

NEGATIVE

He told me to wait there and came back with a goody bag for me. It had 3 dozen condoms and a dozen flavored lubes. I called my friend and left a voicemail with him, letting him know that I had the test, and that I heard what I wanted to hear.



Guys, it is easy. Just do it. It definitely puts your mind at ease. My anxiety was gone almost immediately after.