Last Sunday night I posted things were turning around for Josh as he was going to see a therapist, The Guy spent last Friday night trying to persuade him suicide was not the answer. Things were looking good. The Guy was having a hard time, but now whatever has happened has been made worse.
The Guy had a knocking at his door on Monday morning. It was Jackie. She came with a motive. She wanted to know what The Guy did. She needed someone to talk to. She didn't understand what was going on with Josh- why he didn't come out sooner, and things like that. The Guy let her come in to protect Josh- if Jackie told her mom word would get out amongst Josh's friends that he was gay. Jackie said she has questioned Josh and knows things like Josh's weekend in Vegas was not a firefighter training thing- it was a night with The Guy. The Guy just kind of sighed at it showing that he knew he was caught. She saw the new mirrors The Guy has in his dining room and yes, he bought Josh some too. So Jackie asked where The Guy got them, and he said IKEA, like Josh did. The Guy tried to be positive and basically just said he can't go into him and Josh's relationship, the details as to why Josh is doing what he was doing, and things like that.
Monday night The Guy received a call from Josh saying to FUCK OFF, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE, things like that. The Guy was really hurt by that, but managed to hold up until today. The Guy hasn't had contact with Josh since then. Josh told Jackie he saw a therapist, but the therapist supposedly said it was just a stage, he was definitely not gay. Lie? We think. We know. We don't know what has happened to Josh over the past couple days. The Guy has speculated that he is going to basically start hanging around with the wrong people- the trainers who don't really have a future, may turn to drugs, won't deal with any of his feelings.
The Guy and Jackie have been talking to each other at least twice a day since Monday. I have been meaning to call The Guy since Monday, but I've had a cold and lost my voice Monday and Tuesday. Given his recent lack of texting, I didn't know whether or not he'd respond, so I wanted to wait to call.
So when I called The Guy today I heard music blasting in the background. He told me he had a really hard day today- he just did the motions at work and came home and Joe was going to come over to hang out with him. He cried telling me that Josh told him to fuck off. He told me how Josh said he wants nothing to do with him. He told me how hurt he is that he lost his best friend, his soul mate, and his boyfriend. He said Josh was his boyfriend- they had sex, they had dates, The Guy showered him in gifts, and they spent time together. Then he went on about how he can't believe after all of this Josh is pushing him away. I said it is a bit much to handle, and I wouldn't really expect him to handle it any differently. I mean if I were outed like that I'm pretty sure I'd be crazy- say and do a lot of crazy things. He said he didn't know- he just can't fathom everything Josh did. The Guy talked about all of his support. Then he said Josh will probably comes back when he runs out of money, he needs a new snowboard, new sunglasses, or new shoes. I said I hope he wouldn't be like that. He cried and told me how when he bought Josh a pair of shoes he'd be happy, but then run off and show Jackie and ask for her thoughts and what Jackie said mattered. I just said I hope he'll come around and that he wasn't using The Guy like that for things like that. So basically The Guy is at the point where he feels like he was used by Josh, but also that he was his boyfriend, trainer, and best friend, all of those things are gone. The Guy is crushed.
We talked for about 15 minutes until Joe showed up. I am going to call him this weekend to see that he is holding up. I wish I could do something more- I will probably suggest us going out for dinner one night or something to just hang out and get out of the house. I wish there were something I could say, but I know that I can't minimize that pain. But when it comes to advice I don't really know what to say.
3 comments:
Wow, it's been rough time for you all. I hate drama, it sucks people down. :(
I hope you feel better, and I hope The Guy and Josh settle things in a positive way.
Well, gay guy dates a straight guy with a girlfriend who's questioning turns dramatic. Not surprising I guess. From a distance, it seemed like a bad idea from the start in the sense that Josh didn't identify as gay (having a girlfriend and all). But I hope the therapist helps with more then "it's a phase".
My phase has lasted pretty much forever. I feel bad for all parties involved as is sounds like depression city all around.
You said that you don’t know what to say to the Guy, but I think you have said all the right things so far. Obviously, you can’t solve this problem, but you can be a non-judgmental friend with a positive attitude who listens and encourages.
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