Birthday get together

I im'd The Guy about 9:30a.m. yesterday when he signed online to wish him Happy Birthday. I figured he'd spend the day with his best friend Zach, and I was right. I wasn't too worried, so I spent the day taking care of things I needed to do. With nothing to do Friday evening I called Gonzo and also washed my car. I even washed and cleaned the rims of my car well with a toothbrush. I got a text at 8:00p.m. saying that I should come over for some wine. I just happened to be walking past my bedroom when I heard the phone do that text messaging sound. I texted him back and said "sounds good."

I get a call at 8:30 from The Guy and Zach. They are leaving the Farmers Market after getting wine, but did not find the cheesecake they were looking for for The Guy's birthday. The Guy called asking me to stop by Ralphs for the Claim Jumper chocolate cake and Haagen Dazs vanilla bean ice cream. I stop and had trouble finding the ice cream, but manage.

I get to The Guy's place- Colton, Zach, and The Guy are there sipping on wine and eating cheese and crackers. Zach and I shake hands, he offers me some wine. My choices are red and white. The only person who drinks white is Colton and everyone there at this moment, as well as who shows up later makes fun of him for that.

We watch "Connie and Carla." Zach and The Guy really like the movie and can recite all the lines. I'd seen parts of it- I knew it was about drag queens who were really women. Colton asked the sort of duh question of the night, which everyone laughed at. "Are these drag queens?" Zach went back and forth from sitting on the couch next to me and sitting on the floor. The Guy talked about all of the times he has dressed in drag. He did it once he turned 18 and lived in SD, then the 3 or 4 years following. The Guy said he had to show the pictures, so he went into his bedroom and got his photo albums out. He showed us pictures of some of the guys he dated when he was younger, then came the drag pictures. We determined he looked like Margaret Thatcher.

About halfway through the movie Bear and Will show up- 2 of The Guy's friends. Zach and them talk while The Guy is putting the pictures away and they catch up in each other's lives. Colton and I mainly talk about Warcraft, which he has become addicted to and was all he could talk about all night. The Guy put on the Warcraft South Park episode for him in honor of that. It was hilarious. I have some good lines to use from that from now on when The Guy is spending too much time playing that.

Zach got packed up to leave because by now, it was 11:30. Bear, Will, and I shook hands. Zach and I hugged. I moved my car so Zach could get out. I had to go back in to get my cell phone which had fallen between the couch.

I see why The Guy likes Zach and me. Zach and I are a lot alike- we're fiscally responsible, the things we find funny, how we refuse to get sucked into those computer games, and things like that. Zach is going to be getting his BA this January.

Zach and I talk for a few minutes as I'm about ready to head back out. The Guy offers me some water to drink, so I do. Colton talks about how he needs to sober up before he can drive since he drank a whole bottle of wine. He goes and logs on to play Warcraft in the office. The Guy says he won't play, he'll watch. I hang around for a few minutes, but it was late, I was tired, and didn't want to watch Colton get clobbered in PVPing. The Guy lays down in the office on the floor. I tell him I'm going to take off and I come down, play around with him playing with his hands, waving goodbye, and things like that. I ask The Guy if I could have an Advil as I could feel an allergy attack/headache coming on. I get the Advil and take off. I am not sure how late Colton stayed and don't care- IT WAS LATE!

I had to stop and get gas on the way home, which I hate to do, especially at 1:00a.m. when it is late and who knows who is out there, but I wouldn't have made it home otherwise. I did get gas for $3.77 per gallon though as opposed to the $3.85 I could have paid over by The Guy's house. I went to a gas station that was well lit, in a big area where there were lots of people around so that did put my mind at ease somewhat.

Coming up the highway I live on I had a bad allergy attack. I'm climbing up the highway (there is about a 1,500 foot change in elevation) and I feel my ears pop, my eyes start to itch, and then the sneezing ensues. Thankfully I was just a few minutes from home. I laid down at 1:45, but it was after 3 before I fell asleep because I had a bad allergy headache. I slept great though, which is always welcome.

Halloween

On Thursday The Guy asked me if I wanted to help him with his Halloween party. I said sure. Drove over to his place about 2p.m. When I got there he was in the office, on the phone, and he had his pants pulled down. He was doing testosterone injections because he is going to have testosterone replacement done or something like that- some expensive procedure. Anyways, that was an interesting site. He was just finishing up and I watched him inject something into his stomach. When he is finished he asks if I am ready to go out shopping with him. I said yes. He remembers UPS will be coming with a computer, so he has to wait since he missed delivery the day before. We wait for that and go in the bedroom to sleep. We sleep for about an hour and I actually fell asleep. UPS comes, delivers the computer, then we go back to sleep until 4:30.

We decide to go to Trader Joes, Michaels, and were going to go a costume shop in that same shopping center, but the line snaked to the back of the store. The parking lot was a mess and everyone was honking at each other. This is one of the few times The Guy parks a mile away from something. We go into Michaels and look at a couple artificial $80 flower arrangements on sale for $35 or so. The Guy decides he needs 2, then we later decide he only needs one, so we leave the other arrangement. We buy some window clings, lots of candles, and more. We get out of Michaels for $200. The Guy is grumbling and complaining about the junk they sell there, how all of it is made in CHina, and the long lines, which make the place so depressing. Trader Joes is a lot more fun. The Guy buys fruit like pineapple, apples and watermelon. Then he buys some nan bread, hummus, brie and other cheeses, choclate chips for brownies, and 8 bottles of a mystery wine that have a question mark on them. That was another $200. We are in a bind for time as THe Guy has to be at the gym at 6:30. We get back to his house at 6:00p.m., clean out the fridge, and put the stuff away. We take off- me going home and he goes to the gym.

HALLOWEEN!!!

The Guy told me to come over about 5p.m. to help him. I said sure. At 5p.m. I just sat down to dinner. The Guy bought great healthy "snacks," but did not constitute a meal like he claimed. I was on the road at 5:15 however and got to his place at 6:15, which was perfect. He had put up all of his decorations and just had a few more. He asked if I could run to get Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Cranberry Juice, and orange juice. I run to CVS for that. I also go to the liquor store for Belvedere Vodka. $36 of Vodka.

I get back to his place and Jackie, Josh's girlfriend is there. She is a hoot. She is a bubbly blond type and is sort of an airhead. I see why Josh likes her. We make smalltalk- how to decorate, where we live, how we know The Guy. Joe arrives a little later. Joe is Quail Dog from Doug. Honestly, I had thought of going as Doug Funnie, but didn't since I was unsure if The GUy or anyone would get the reference. His costume though, was very cute. Joe and The Guy argue over prop 8 and explain it to Jackie. Jackie had no clue. She is such an airhead. I liked her. The Guy prepares his pinwheels that he wanted to make for the party. Jackie brought chocolate cupcakes.

Josh arrives with ice and is in a soccer outfit. He is David Beckham. Josh takes off his shirt and has Jackie help him with his tattoos. Josh has a bunch of tattoos as it is- one on his right shoulder of muscle fibers, an iron cross on his left breast, and doves on his back. Jackie uses a Sharpie to write a tattoo that says Romeo on his back, Beckham on his abs, and GALAXY on his left arm. He goes shirtless the whole night. Jackie's costume, which she later changes into? Victoria Beckham.

We start our movies after everyone is in costume. The Guy wears his traditional black t-shirt, blue jeans, a cape, a big iron cross necklace and spider rings. He is "Big Daddy." We start with some movie I can't recall. Then we move onto "Underworld." Underworld came about 9p.m. That's when The Guy's brother came and his girlfriend Courtney. She is a new girlfriend. She blends right into the mix of people. Zach, The Guy's best friend comes in shortly after. He says when he walks in "I don't want to be here." He was not happy with The Guy because he didn't help Zach move last weekend. The Guy stayed home to play WOW. I would have been unhappy also and probably not as forgiving. Zach has some Diet Pepsi and sits down next to The Guy. A few minutes later George, Joe's boyfriend shows up. In walks a 50 or so year old man who looks like he could be my dad. Joe is 23 and claims there is only a 15 year difference between him and George. I think not. He had gray hair and a British accent; and my dad who is 60 looks younger. He sat next to Joe and Zach came over and sat on the ledge next to me. Josh was pouring the drinks all evening. He filled my wine glass 2-3 times, then the last time he fills it completely to the brim. The GUy's brother joked he'd never seen a wine glass so full. Josh then insisted I sip or chug. I get about halfway down and joke to Josh that I did finish half of it, which is WAAAAAY more than he drank. Josh was getting really close to me. His girlfriend was on the other side. He was rubbing my leg, I was rubbing his, and The Guy noticed. Josh joked it was the alcohol. The Guy's brother only stayed an hour or so, then took off. Joe and George took off after the movie also. Zach then sits next to me as we watch "The Underworld." I know I hit him playfully a couple times and brushed up against him as we watched the movie when there was a scary part or something. It was a lot of fun. Josh and Jackie were both surprised with how well I hold my alcohol. I was pretty drunk they thought- I probably had a bottle of wine all by myself thaks to Josh.

Josh and Jackie left after "The Underworld." The Guy said "you can talk" in reference to Zach and I about Josh. Both of us have the concern The Guy is pursuing a straight guy, that he'll be heartbroken, etc. The Guy texted Josh after he left and Josh texted him. Josh said he had such a great night with THe Guy :-) :-). The Guy wanted to invite Josh back, but just instead said wish he could have stayed longer. I was quickly fading and actually fell asleep with a glass of Diet Pepsi in my hand while Zach and The Guy were sitting and talking. The Guy said I was staying there, dragged me over, and let me down on the couch. I fell asleep for a few miinutes, then woke up and was having an anxiety attack. I went in to tell The Guy I was leaving. I didn't want to deal with it and have The Guy there. As I walked in his bedroom he screamed and his dog growled. We both were scared and calmed down, then talked for a few minutes. Finally he insisted I stay. I was resentful to. He asked if it was about Josh and him wanting to do it with him. I reassured no- I was more upset about Ben. Josh is a great guy who treats The Guy well. It was family stuff that brought on the anxiety- who knows why. I go back to sleep- or try to. I don't sleep well. The Guy woke me up about 8:30 and thanked me for being with him last night on a really hard night. He showers and gets ready for work. He tells me he was supposed to meet Ben for dinner and I said NO. NO. CANCEL. Josh. You like Josh better and he treats you better.

As we leave we both head down the 10 freeway toward Fontana. We follow each other to the 15 freeway, then The Guy turns around and waves at me. I text him saying "follow the leader was fun. Thanks for everything. Have a good day." He laughs and texts me back, and we go our separate ways.

Knobs

Last night I had a truly difficult night. I was exhausted, but could not fall asleep due to emotions, nerves, and things of that sort. It was 2 or 3a.m. before I fell asleep and I e-mailed The Guy something and wanted a response about. I had to get up at 6:30a.m. to go to my mom's school and help her out. Not a good night's sleep.

There was also another thing that was upsetting me from last night that I didn't tell The Guy about. My dad in the past week has become wheelchair bound. We're not sure if it is temporary or permanent. He's having a lot of medical issues, but our house is not wheelchair accessible at all and so this has created extra stress on me like helping him up the stairs into the house, making dinner, me doing things like taking out the trash, carrying heavy things, whatever. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying this has added to the physical and emotional strain when I'm already having a lot to deal with.

The Guy calls me at 9:30 and we agree to hang out after 2 something. He didn't go to work today. Bad boy, he is.

I get to his place and the door is locked. Surprise. I knock and he answers. He was laying down sleeping. I notice his cabinets are hung. They look awesome. They have a 3 inch border, then indentation and are really great quality. We compared his to Home Depot's today. He showed me the plaster and painting in the living room. It looks amazing and I was raving about how good it looks. We also discussed paint colors and what color to paint what trim. An off white or bright white. We decided bright white.

The Guy talks about needing the hardware for his cabinets, so we crowd into the office (his kitchen was also in there) and look at door knobs. We go to lowes and homedepot.com. We decide to go to Lowes. I get the directions and we go there. We spend about an hour in there. The Guy suddenly decides he needs to replace all the door handles in his house and spends $120 for 4. Then he decides he needs new dimmer switches because he doesn't like the ones Alfonso just bought. That's another $120. Then The Guy decides he wants new knobs for the closet doors. He finds new knobs he likes for the hall closets and bathroom. We unscrewed the knobs to those before we left so he could replace them. The unfortunate problem was they were out of stock and had to be ordered. He ordered 1 door knob for the bathroom to see if he liked it. The kitchen door knobs he wanted- half moon shaped for the double cabinet doors and rectangular for the pull out drawers weren't in stock and had to be ordered also and shipped to him. He did that. He took a picture of them and sent to Matt and Zach. Zach said that the knobs were TERRIBLE. They looked like they were the Golden Girls house from the 1980s.

Also at Lowes I look for face plates for my electrical plugs in my room since I've been busy painting my room this week. I think white is the safest bet right now.

We go to Home Depot after deliberating whether or not to go to another Lowes. Home Depot has a poor selection of knobs. In there, The Guy talked about how his hopes of those fun knobs were destroyed because of Zach. Zach said the accessories are where The Guy is supposed to have his fun, but have a fun kitchen. I disagreed and we talked about that in the car as The Guy texted and called Zach and Matt.

The Guy and I went to the AT&T store because he is having terrible reception issues with his iPhone. They gave him a new SIM card. The Guy said however he should just buy a new phone and solve that problem and will probably do that. Geez... if I had that kind of money.

On the way home from Home Depot the NY Pizza place was nearby and The Guy deliberated whether or not we should have pizza. I said I didn't know, I wasn't hungry. He decided we would. The line was out the door for the pizza place. The Guy gets on his cell phone and calls in the order and is helped within a minute- what a plan! We get a garlic and cheese pizza. In the 10 minutes waiting for it we go to the ice cream shop next door and he gets a chocolate malt. He deliberated about wanting one of those, but I told him I wasn't saying yes or no he could or couldn't.

We get home and eat the pizza in the office. We watch the olympics on his computer. We watch the relays and he keeps telling me how the girls lost and how he knows everything that was going to happen and hated to ruin it for me, but he knew. We eat and talk about random stuff. Then The Guy plays some Warhammer since he got into the online beta. He shows me the characters he has. We talk about how ugly the male characters are. The Guy's dog is driving us insane while we're in there. He won't sit down, he is running from room to room, trying to lick the plates. Finally I take the plates into the kitchen and solve the problem. We probably spent 2-3 hours in there- from 5-7p.m. at least.

The Guy makes a comment about how reliant he was on the couch and how comfy it was. He said we should go lay down. I agreed. We get his laptop so he can play more Warhammer and I selected a movie on appleTV. I chose "Casanova" after his recommendation of needing a happy, cute movie without any deaths. I almost fall asleep a couple times, but stay awake to manage to see it all.

Then The Guy asks about 9p.m. when the movie ends when the last time was I got off. He said I need to get off before I get home and he pulled his shorts down and got on the bed for me to suck his dick. I pulled mine down and he sucked me off. We sucked each other, he jacked me off, hit my dick against my stomach, squeezed it, and other random stuff. Then I shot my load on my chest and he shot his on his chest. We needed to shower afterward so hopped in. Then we talked about how he is probably going to start dating Matt and things like that and wanted to reassure me of our friendship and though the sex might be gone, we're still great friends. He talked about how he is not sure about how a long distance relationship with Matt will work because he is down in San Diego. He said however he thinks it could because of the train and Matt can do work on it, The Guy meditates in the car while driving down there. He talked about how he might be going down there more often and may ask me to pet sit more. He said he doesn't want to burden me with that- just like when I need away from the parents and stuff, let him know, and if I can't do it, no big deal.

We hugged after we got out. I had a bad allergy attack where I began my usual 5-10 sneezes at his house, then my eyes today started watering. I told The Guy and he comes running with Visine. I had him put the eyedrops in because I never do that for myself. I always close my eye. Having the drops go in hurts like a mother.

After my eyes cleared up, we hugged for a good minute or so and then playfully kissed each other on the necks. We talked about how much we appreciated each other.

Coming home I felt really great- my confidence felt through the roof, and that felt great.

I am not well

The past 2 days have been miserable. I am not going to go into tons of details, but my dad had his surgery the other day. My dad broke some bones in the upper part of his leg that the doctor had to operate on and repair, as well as cut out some inflamed tissue that was causing him excruciating pain up and down his legs and back. There was good and bad to the surgery. Good in that the surgery went ok and that he should be able to walk in a few months after physical therapy and other things. Bad in that he is very loopy, even today, because his blood pressure is so low. He spent the day at Kaiser with my mom. I spent almost all day at Kaiser yesterday with my mom and sister waiting for my dad.

It was 7p.m., and nearly a 7 hour surgery before my dad had woken up and the surgery was complete and we could pick him up. I call The Guy about 6p.m. and he asks how I was holding up. I told him how bored I was and he said he felt really bad because he knows I really needed someone and he wasn't there. That hurt me badly. I was feeling fine most of the day and was pretty strong throughout the whole procedure even though it was a very serious procedure. I just told The Guy it wasn't a big deal. Then I texted him telling him how I felt bad that I didn't call when I needed someone to lean on. He was going to dinner with Jeff. He had been going to take Josh out, but Josh broke plans with The Guy to go with Jackie. They went to PF Changs.

I get a call about 8p.m. from The Guy asking how I was holding up. I wasn't holding up well. I picked my dad up at 7p.m. or so, then we weren't in my car even 5 minutes when my world came crashing down. My aunt in Nor Cal did something that was so rude, so hurtful, and just so bad. It made a difficult day even more difficult. My dad and I get to the restaurant where my aunt and uncle are, then eat. We eat at Norms. It was disgusting food. I will never go back. It was so bland and dry. Anyways, dinner constituted my dad being extremely forgetful and asking the waitresses name over 30 times. That was the only thing going through his mind. I had to tell my mom about what happened, which broke her down, but what my aunt did could not wait no matter how things were just trying to get back to normal. Then my aunt and uncle had to hear that, which made it more difficult because of the money situation, but also because they're just as sick and worried as we are.

We get back to my house and my aunt and uncle come to help my dad. The conversation then turns to money. They see our newly carpeted bathrooms, then my sister says "well, you should see Mike's room; it is bare and it has nothing in it, but he wants a new $3000 bedroom set." Thanks sister. Then she says that I'm the greediest child because I just dropped $300 at Banana Republic and the only reason she knows about it is because my dad made an issue about having to buy all of that stuff. He owed me, though. Thanks sister for embarrassing and humiliating me in front of my family. The whole reason the money issue came up is because now we're having to pay even more for a lawyer (and we've paid close to $50,000 already); we are currently remodeling our house; and because my mom's boss doesn't like her, he cut one of her classes forcing her to take a 20% pay cut. My parents were talking about how this can't continue and how they've tapped into their retirement etc. etc. This stuff worries me because it is their future, but also money is so tight every month, and I don't ask for a lot, but dumbass sister makes it sound like I do. My uncle kept saying he'd give money whenever needed, but that's not the issue. The issue is what my aunt did.

The Guy called at about 9p.m. and I tell him how my world just came crashing down and everyone is so worried. We knew this would happen, but it was a matter of when. We have to act by MOnday to do anything if there is a chance, but my aunt could be in a lot of trouble. Anyways, I tell THe Guy and he asked if I wanted to get out. I did. I ask if I could spend the night because I'll just be turning around and house sitting for him this weekend. He says fine as long as I don't mind sleeping on the couch. I didn't.

I pack my weekend bag because I was going to be house sitting for him when Josh and him go to Vegas for Josh's birthday. When I got to his place there was a balloon and vase of flowers. Josh stayed the night Thursday night, then Friday The Guy and him both had to get up early. The Guy was trying to overcompensate because he broke up with Jackei the night before.

I tell The Guy my problems about why I was feeling so bad being a target of my sister's. He told me to snap back, only focus on the future, not to question her ideas, or give my sister any power by that. It is so hard when I feel so bad because I don't feel like I ask a lot from friends (like The Guy monetary-wise or for things like him to hang out with me like it would have been nice Friday). Then I don't think I ask a lot from family- I may splurge on clothes once or twice a year, same goes for big items. The Guy didn't seem to understand. I was fed up and wanting to walk out. I told him I was going to. He finally said he's not helping. He said he can't see any of this. Still, today, he doesn't know how much his dad makes. He always, always had money. He gets his parents hand me downs. His parents are well off. His parents never ever mentioned the word money- it was just always there, so he doesn't understand what I'm going through but feels so bad because it is eating me up so much.

We talk even more and I talk about how my aunt's actions are also hurting me because of the emotional attachment to what she did, then the worry about the future, how things will play out, money, and things like that. Again, The Guy wasn't very open and he was just telling me to get over it, but it is so hard. I gave up and told him forget it. He didn't want to, but I said YES and with a little more talking I was better able to explain how I felt.

Again, we talk about friendship. He talked about how this is eating me up and it pains him to see how I'm so focused on the past. I don't think I am. I was just questioning whether my sister's points were valid, and again, he didn't see that. We talked. We talked about friendship and how we aren't always there for friends and how he understands how I was hurt and even a short text would have probably meant the world. I understand he was in a spiral because Josh broke up with Jackie, then when The Guy got home in the afternoon Jackie was at The Guy's house and Josh and Jackie were suddenly back together.

We take some Tylenol PM to sleep, then call it a night at 11p.m. or so.

We both wake up at about 8:30. The Guy plays some WOW, then we get ready about 9a.m. He asks if I have gas in my car. I said I didn't know. He tells me how he still doesn't know about the watch. I said NO. I told him to keep it for later, give it to himself, etc. He didn't believe me. He called Zach. Zach didn't pick up, but calls back a little bit later and says that Josh has done nothing. The Guy tries the watch on and says it isn't him. He'd want one with a metal instead of plastic band. The Guy says he doesn't want it. Zach says to do it after all he has done, as a little reward that he is still sane after being so caught up in everything. He agrees. In the car as I drive him to Ralphs he takes pics and texts Zach and sends the pics. Zach approves of the watch. The Guy also talks about how he is not sure why he is doing all of this for Josh. He never does this stuff for Jeff, Zach, or I. That was reassuring and I was glad he realized it.

We go to Ralphs so he could get snacks for the trip up- carrots, strawberry smoothie, pitas from Pita Pit, ice, an ice chest, and some other stuff. All healthy. The Guy tells me how he has an itinerary for the trip he made. It is about 10 pages with a picture of the roulette wheel, Vegas map, then a schedule like the trip up, what they'd do every minute etc. I told The Guy it was really cute, but definitely overkill. He said he wanted to give it, then tear it up. I discouraged that. He said I'm right- it is his fear about everything like the future and having to have it planned out and be perfect. The Guy gives me his Arco gas card and I go and fill up my car. It only takes $18 to put 9 gallons in my car. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?

Also on the car trip we listened to Gloria Gaynor's "I will Survive," "More Than a Woman" by the BeeGees, and "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol.

I drop The Guy off to get his rental car. I wait a few minutes, then he texts saying all is ok. I drive back to his place. He rolls up a few minutes later in a black 2008 Cadillac CTS. He rented a car for Josh and him. He was upset it wasn't a Mercedes or Infiniti and protested, but it was a pretty nice car. He packed, showered, then I gave him my iPod cord (car charger and AUX adapter) for the Caddy. He looked good in the Caddy. No joke. Black shirt, black sunglasses, black hair, haha



He takes off about 12, and I do too to get food.

This afternoon I drove down to Monterey Park for food. That is a 30 mile drive, but I haven't been to LA in a long time and wanted to go. I went to a favorite Chinese food place of mine. Then I realized I was on Atlantic, which turns into Telegraph Road, which was near the outlets. The Citadel Outlets. I had never been, had heard about them, especially on HOT 92.3. I drove down there and it was a mess. Parking? Miles away. Good deals though- 2 pairs of Levi's for $45, a few gifts for my aunts at the Corningware/Pyrex store. Would I go there again? NO. It was junky, crowded, and not worth it. It made me sad. Leaving was a challenge because of the Christmas tree lighting ceremony at the outlets. I end up winding through the streets of Commerce and East LA and I do drive by The Guy's dad's business which was a neat feeling to see it in person, though it was nothing special; but also it just kind of made everything seem more real.


Pictures are acting funny, but if you enlarge you can see how junky these outlets appear being off the freeway in an industrial area.
Why did I pet sit this weekend? Jeff wanted to do it for The Guy, but I knew I would want out of the house because I'd be going crazy. My aunt and uncle would be there for my dad at his every beck and call, plus too many people in the house would make it crazy. It was yesterday just being at Kaiser with everyone. My dad is doing ok tonight- he is stable- so things could change. But I knew I'd need a break. I was going crazy and the thing that happened with my aunt does effect me, but I can't really do anything to help. I had no clue this would also happen, but I knew I'd need a vacation and pet sitting for him was a vacation. I am there for my family, but this weekend I wouldn't have been much help.

How much did The Guy spend on Josh?
$25 money clip
$100 iPod headphones for Sunday afternoon when The Guy meets Josh's parents for lunch
$300+ rental car
$325 hotel room at Bellagio
$100+ I'm guessing very conservatively on dinner at a sushi restaurant in the Bellagio
$20 flowers and balloon
$1 card
$330 for 2 tickets to Phantom of the Opera

Dinner at The Elephant Bar

Just got back from dinner with The Guy. He texted me several times today asking if we could do dinner earlier. I said sure. At 4:30 he calls me and says to come over whenever. I get to his place at 5:30 and Alfonso is there working on the house. I also see that Brett is too helping move everything out of The Guy's kitchen cabinets. We all work for over an hour moving the boxes. The Guy throws out about half of the stuff in his kitchen to eat. We put it in boxes of Charmin and paper towels that we found that he was storing. At about 7 we all finish.

The Guy says bye to Brett and I do too. The Guy tries to fix the voicemail thing on his home phone. He wants no voicemails at all. He doesn't listen to them. haha

We drive to dinner. On the way over The Guy talks about a new gym he is going to join that is VERY upscale, but his friend Ronnie is a personal trainer there and the personal training is much more personal. They have a guarantee about reaching your fitness results, etc. He told Josh he might have to do that, but they would still be friends. The Guy pays $50 per training session with Josh.

We get to the restaurant and The Guy tells me all about Ben. Ben is seeing someone, finally called him, and has had a change of heart and feels and realizes how nice The Guy was to him. They hung out Thursday night, went to dinner at the Elephant Bar, then went to the Farmers Market for cheesecake and stuff for cocktails at The GUy's place. They had lots of good sex Thursday night, then hung around in bed Friday morning.

Friday night The Guy; a friend of his who is now 24 named Matt, who The Guy met before he moved from San Diego; Zach; and his boyfriend Justin went to Vegas in an Audi that The Guy rented. They had to upgrade their room to a very expensive suite because Zach brought Justin. Anyways, The Guy worked all day Saturday. Saturday night they went out partying and clubbing. Matt is a huge party animal and met everyone in the bar when he was drunk. The Guy told me how, like me, he feels normal and like he doesn't have to be anyone special, which isn't the case with Ben. He talked about how Zach and Justin fell asleep and he had sex twice that night with Matt. They had to do it quietly. I didn't believe him. I can't imagine doing that. Did it hurt me to hear him talk about the sex? Sure- because I enjoyed sex with The Guy a lot, but his friendship means more than the sex. I want to be the best friend I can and I do enjoy hearing about what he does and what is going on in his life. I like that we can both be so open with each other. And as I've said before a friend like that is worth so much more than the sex. I like knowing that I can be that friend he can confide in and tell things like this to without having to worry that everyone is going to find out or judge him.

We talked about me and my life and guys. Nothing really exciting to mention there- you can see all that is going on in my life in the last post- I'm painting stuff.

We finished up dinner- it was about $50.00. We had lettuce wraps, I had the French onion soup, and the salmon with a ginger sauce. The Guy had the lettuce wraps, salad, and Mongolian beef.

As we got up to leave, The Guy thanked me for like the 100th time, saying how happy and fantastic everything looked when he got home. He likes how he can just leave and not worry. He looked like he was going to cry. I know he appreciates it and I really appreciated hearing him thank me. It really made me feel special.

Went back to his place and he showed me the Warcraft Beta he got into. The characters in the game suck, but we had fun watching each other. I showed him pictures of guys I've been chatting with via connexion or other dating sort of site.

We chatted about our iPhone experiences. Both of us aren't the happiest when it comes to reception, dropped calls, and things like that. Everything was erased off of my phone when I did the firmware upgrade today.

I left about 9:40 because Josh was coming over to meditate with The Guy because he was so upset after just breaking up with his girlfriend.

The Guy wants to hang out Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday- he's not sure, but he wants to do dinner again.

Jeff's Birthday

The Guy messaged me on Saturday morning asking if I'd pick up Jeff as his birthday present. I knew I was going to be asked, and so I said it wouldn't be an issue.

The Guy and I spoke a couple times Sunday before I went to pick Jeff up. I was early on my way to pick up Jeff, so I stopped at Ashley Furniture and ran into a coworker, talked, and that was perfect because The Guy needed me to stall in picking Jeff up for a surprise which I later found out was Jeff's cake. They were in the middle of trying to put it together.

I get to Jeff's at 3:45 and meet his mom since he's now living at home. She was drunk. She has been like that for the past 5 days according to Jeff. We gather all of his laundry and head over to The Guy's. We talk in the car about random stuff- him living out there, his birthday, and listened to the music in the background courtesy of KIIS FM and 1043 MYFM. We listened to some Material Girl and other random stuff. The Guy tells us we need to pick up pizza, and we do so.

We get to The Guy's at 4:30. Zach (The Guy's best friend) and Robert (The Guy's boyfriend) are there. I bring in the pear cider and we all drink one. A friend of Jeff's shows up a few minutes later. We all drink and eat the appetizers The Guy bought and made. The Guy made some delicious 7 layer dip, which was not as good as mine, but still really good. We ate some artichoke spinach dip, veggies, and a few other things. We also had some pizza. We stood around as Zach talked about being drunk, alcohol, being Mormon, and snapped pictures of everything. We retreated to the couch and listened to Faith Hill in the background, talked about how we all have a love affair with Faith Hill, even if it is a closet love affair, and how she has great thighs. Hahahaha.

There Will Come A Day- Faith Hill


We sing Happy Birthday to Jeff and he is surprised by his cake. It is made of a rice krispy bottom, ice cream, brownie, M&Ms, a tiara, and a wand. Bonus points if you can identify the type of character, or this character looks familiar to you as you have been killed by Jeff's character in the game.... hahaha



Robert had to take off to get a few things, so we all watched the pilot and 3-4 episodes of the first season of "Modern Family." It was pretty funny. I've seen a few episodes here and there before. Zach takes off during the 3rd episode and Jeff and I have to wait around for his clothes to finish in the washer and dryer. The Guy and Robert retreat to the office where they are getting high. They took their little vaporizer thing they bought at Home Depot because they couldn't go to Target or Best Buy because of the controversy over political donations. The pot smell doesn't linger with that vaporizer, so you can "smoke" in the house. They were both out of it within a few minutes. It was funny. They played some WOW, I played on my phone, Jeff played WOW on the couch next to me. The Guy was getting tired about 9 and went to lay down. Robert stayed up and looked at videos on youtube, we friended each other on facebook, and we shared funny facebook status messages. My friends were overdramatic last night. One friend "had a tough weekend and needed Jesus Christ." Another friend was having an FML (fuck my life) moment where they realized they had to sell their Dodgers tickets for some game this week. About 10p.m. the clothes are done. Jeff puts the clothes in his basket, and we hug The Guy in bed, then hug Robert and take off.

Jeff and I had a pretty good conversation in the car. I told him about my interviews, he told me about how he has a great job with few hours designing business cards, but has so much down time all he does is play WOW. He told me now he is tempted to go back to school since he is 26 and can finally finish his degree since his parents refused to pay for him to, and he made too much money to get financial aid. He has a year and half to go for a chemical engineering degree. I told him that was pretty impressive and encouraged him to. I told him about Rick, as he had texted me while we were driving. He encouraged me to ditch and ignore him. We get back to Jeff's about 11. I help him with his laundry in the car, wish him happy birthday, then we hug, and say goodbye. He jokes that he can't wait to hear about Rick and I getting together.

Our antibiotics would battle it out

The Guy and I both are on antibiotics this week. You may remember we didn't hang out Tuesday because of his bronchitis and my sinus infection. I'm still on the antibiotics and so is he. He feels fine, but he is still experiencing painful chest coughs.

I called him about 1 today. I tried to talk to him 4-5 times yesterday as he was out jogging. Probably not the best thing, but he hadn't eaten healthy and felt fat. He was also sick. He called about 2p.m. and I talked to him. He told me about being sick all week, I told him about my week, and stuff like that. Josh called last night. After he said that he broke down and became uneasy. He asked what I was doing and I said nothing. I was at home enjoying the aloneness. I told him my dad had been home the past 3 weeks. He has been off work because his blood pressure was so high the doctor put him on a mandatory leave. It was nice having my dad home to an extent, but it became intrusive. Picture Mrs. Doubtfire cleaning, vacuuming, cooking, plus yardwork, and secretary. My dad would come in my room and say, "I'm running the vacuum, want me to vacuum yours?" It was nice, but um.... well... I missed my space. He said well, I should come over. I agreed I could because I do have a pretty good immune system and I'm still on antibiotics.

Get to his house about 3:45. He asked me to stop by CVS to pick up his happy pills. I get them and they didn't make a fuss, which surprised me. He called while I was there and told me they didn't have the cough syrup he needed. He did want Robitussin DM. I looked and couldn't find it for the longest time. Someone put the lone bottle on the Alka Seltzer making it hard to find. I found Robitussin CM. I also found generics like Saratussin or something like that. He said "screw those" and I joked how I knew he wanted the full effect brand name. Then he wanted to know the flavors. They aren't listed on Robitussin. The only thing I taste about Robitussin is it tastes nasty. I buy the big giant bottle since it is on sale and take off.

Get to his place and say hello, then he goes to open up the Robitussin. He takes some while I go to the bathroom and he tells me it tastes bad. He said I was going back later for his doctor's cough medicine she prescribed. I laughed at him and his complaints.

We sit down and watch some movie that was a wannabe Kung Fu thing with Chinese people. The Guy joked how he could totally speak Chinese and said random jibberish and told me how it was right. I told him he was so good. He agreed he was and had the inflections down.

We make small talk about things going on. I tell him about seeing Aaron and how Aaron thought my friend Carl was cute. I told him how Carl is butthurt that I am not interested in him and how he is calling me giving me drama. We joked how we should both go out drinking and smoking (NEITHER OF US SMOKE- JUST TO MAKE IT CLEAR) to calm down and how we both have differences in guys we like, but we still can have a commonality. Case in point when we were looking at hot guys on myspace later in the evening. I thought one was hot, he didn't, but we always found a few we agreed on.

I talk to my cousin Kat who calls while I'm sitting on the couch. Rumor has it I'm graduating. She wasn't the first to know. She wasn't going to be. She is a distant relation- my aunt's extended family. She wanted to know what I was doing, when, she wants tickets, wants to know if there was going to be a big party. I said low key to my parents. My parents want to do something big, but basically with the economy and things like that we agreed low key. I have a feeling we'll wind up with a big family party, which is ok, but not what I planned. I love how I'm not the one planning my graduation and she is the one who wants to, or finds it important to know. The Guy bascially laughed and sided with me- go small because of the economy.

Zach calls while the movie is on about 5p.m. since he just got off work. The Guy told him about the one guy he really liked at the club I was at last week. The Guy went Thursday night. I was actually going to be there then with Carl. Anyways, this guy hasn't returned his calls. He talked about Navar and then some guy MIke he has also fucked that are potentials. Navar is only 19. He was texting him back and forth also. Anyways, he told me about the Josh thing. Josh called to say how he has no reason to apologize and calling was apologizing. He has been through so much. He used the line that "if The Guy really knew him, he would know what Josh wanted." The Guy was civil and basically Josh has turned to pot, smoking, drinking, broke up with Jackie, is hanging out with his 1 gay friend, went to 2 gay bars, and still doesn't know if he is gay, but doesn't think so. The Guy just encouraged him to get counseling. The Guy talked about how well he handled that and listened to Zach's guy stories. The Guy talked about how strong he has been (because of friends) and how he took action and assessed the situation, is in therapy, has a new trainer, and stuff like that.

Shortly after Zach is off the phone Josh texts. He goes crazy. I can see it in him. He tells me how he knew it was going to happen. So instead we look at pics of Navar on facebook since The Guy friended him. He had 250 pics we went through. Then we played stalker looking for the Mike guy, or maybe his name was Nate. Anyways, we looked for him. The Guy did name searches, area searches, then friends who might know him on myspace. We went through several friend pages looking at hot guys, and one of the guys THe Guy knows is dating/married to a hot guy named Steve I went to high school with who I always knew was gay. We talked about how small the gay world is and everyone knows everyone. I saw that with how The Guy knew this friend, who was married to Steve, who knew a bunch of guys The Guy did, guys I had seen on myspace, out in clubs, or stuff like that. Fun times. We do that for probably an hour. At the end I show him my myspace on my iPhone so he can see the 2 guys I'm interested in.

While all of this is going on we're watching "10,000 BC" and The Guy talks about how the music is from King Arthur's Court, how it is such a typical movie with a father figure, a dad relationship, and the typical jungle stuff. We made some funny reference. I wish I knew what was going on, but suddenly the white guy being chased by all the animals, main character ended up in a group of natives. The Guy said it is like "The Jeffersons." Then he started singing the song or something, then suddenly they were up in a hut or something and I said, "that's the deluxe apartment in the sky." He agreed. Then the guy took some food and ate it. He said, "oh yum," or something like that. I said "Florence!" in my best George Jefferson voice (because Florence is the maid who was always being yelled at by Mr. J). That was pretty funny.

I swear "The Jeffersons" is one of the best shows because it is so applicable to everything, it is in pop culture everywhere, and things like that. I know 3-4 times before The Guy and I have also sang or done random things like this related to the Jeffersons, but they're cool.



So The Guy asks if I will run to CVS. I said sure. I drive up there, park, go in, and they laugh when I am back at the pharmacy. They didn't refill his prescription, though his doctor called it in. 15 minutes they said. I texted The Guy and said "Are you hungry? I'll bring dinner- my treat." It was my treat for all of his help with my computer a week back. It was my treat because I haven't paid for dinner in a long time since it has been Jeff and I there most of the time when we are hanging and The Guy is volunteering to pay. I ask where to go since The Guy texts back "healthy." He names places at my requests and I told him to decide. I go to a sandwich place he mentions. He wants a turkey sandwich with no mayo, no cheese, but avocado. I order that for him and a roast beef with arugula for me. The woman who helped me was a little Chinese lady who was just so sweet. She was asking me how I was doing, and just really sweet. I get the food, then drive back to CVS. I talk to The Guy on the way who decided he needed candles larger than tea candles for a new candle holder he bought. He changes his mind 5 minutes later when he calls me again when I'm at CVS.

I get the food and prescription, then go back to his place. He is vacuuming and cleaning up. He has lit candles. He wants to feel better. His house smelled like Vicks Vapor Rub all afternoon. It wasn't bad. Anyways, we sit down and eat and watch Bill Maher. Sarah Silverman is on. She's the one fucking Matt Damon. She just broke it off with Jimmy Kimmel, by the way, again. So he eats the salad and half of his sandwich. He then does his testosterone shots while I finish eating. We stand around and make random talk about stuff. Then he decides he is tired and wants to shower and go to bed. We were going to hug, but then realized we need to keep our distance.

I thanked him for everything and he thanked me for picking up the prescriptions. I left about 8:15p.m.

I hope this post makes some sense- I may have been smoking some pot while typing it. Nah. I'm just scatterbrained right now, mind is wandering, nerves, thoughts, horniness, worries, stress from school, and things like that are all contributing factors.

Dog sitting

The Guy asked me Friday afternoon to dog sit for him Saturday night because he was going to San Diego with his best friend Zach. The Guy said to just come over to his house about 4p.m. and then feed the dog half a bag of sausage for dinner, stay the night, and then the other half at breakfast.

I got over to The Guy's place about 4. I immediately did the dishes in the sink and put them in the dishwasher. I swept and mopped the floor. I did it because it wasn't a big deal, but also I was kind of making fun of The Guy since he says he has to have his friends clean for him.

After that, I hung around and chatted with friends on AIM. My hard drive on my computer failed about 9:00p.m., so I just hung around and finally made it to bed about 10:00p.m.

I figured I'd sleep from 10:00p.m. and would wake up at 9:00a.m. It would be wonderful and very peaceful. The Guy lives in a VERY quiet area. I fell asleep within a half hour, which is unusual for me.

I put my phone on the night stand next to The Guy's bed. At 2:00a.m. I get a text message saying "Coming home tonight pe there in 30." At 2:15 The Guy pulled in the driveway. He played with his dog for a few minutes and asked the dog who was in the bed etc. The Guy was telling me how he was wasted. Then The Guy quickly got undressed and laid on top of me. Then he told me to suck his nipples and lick his chest. I did. He smelled hot! He had a nice cologne on. We also spent some time making out before I went down to his dick. I sucked him off for a LONG time... probably a good 20 minutes and The Guy just moaned. We laid around, laid in each others arms, did some grinding, then finally I laid in his arms and I jacked my dick and he jacked his. We both shot on his chest. Afterward, we toweled off.

Then we went to the kitchen and drank some green tea. Then we went into the office and looked around at weird news stories on the internet. We looked at The Guy's friend's myspace, which was the reason he went to San Diego. His friend's rugby team was having a guy auction to ahve a date with a guy on the team. The Guy was going to bid on one guy, but the bid went from $80-$250, so The Guy backed out.

The Guy said he was hungry and thirsty. He had no more water in the fridge and since he had 5 beers at the party was really drunk and didn't want to drive (though he drove home from Zach's), so asked if I'd drive to Mobil to get water. In the car they were playing "Summer Lovin" the song from Grease on KOLA 99.9. The Guy started singing and I did too. It was too fun.

We got back to his place and were in bed by 4:00a.m. Slept pretty well. At 7:30, The Guy and I woke up. He was still hung over. I went to get us food at the cafe down the street from his house. Went back and ate at his place and sat around on the couch watching "Arrested Development" I left about 11:00a.m.

It was a great weekend though! I was so tired though, Sunday afternoon because I only got a few hours of sleep, but the middle of the night wake up call was worth it!

Fallen for Josh

The Guy and I had planned to hang out on Tuesday, but Josh I later had an emergency. He failed his EMT test by 1 question and was really bummed. The Guy made him brownies, took them to his house, then they proceeded to make out for a while. Then Tuesday night they went to a basketball game with some trainers from the gym. Tuesday afternoon was a no-go. I was a little frustrated, but I knew we'd hang out for a nice long day Thursday. I'm also glad it was today because we cleared the uneasy tension that was in the air. We planned that today we would hangout for a few hours to talk, then he'd go to his exercise class at 6:30, then Josh and Jeff would come over for some WOW.

The Guy is one of those friends who I can tell when something is wrong. I can tell it in his voice and over the phone the past week or so I have experienced it. I knew it was all because of Josh. Josh, for those not keeping record is his personal trainer, the straight guy, with a girlfriend.

I texted The Guy after 1:30 when I got off work that I was on my way. He said that was perfect. I get to his place and he is sort of engrossed in the new Warcraft expansion pack. He had just got it an hour ago. Zach calls him a minute or two after I arrive, so they talk for a few minutes. I feel the awkwardness in the air and I become bitchy. Why? Who knows... I know The Guy is like this because he is having a hard time. He tells me that in a few minutes I'll be ready to play. I say bitchily that I need the disk, then I need help, I need to know where to go in the game, what to do, etc. I ask that we install quest helper and other things. He jokes about how I sound so hopeless and I make it sound like it is all of his fault. I was joking, and he knew it. It isn't out of my character to be bitchy like that, but the tension in the air was bothering me, so that was my response I guess. The Guy brings out a watch to show me that he said he bought to give to Josh the weekend they are in Vegas. He asked if it was overkill. Zach said it was. I said yes. The Guy told me about his presentation. Josh is so worried about his looks, The Guy was planning to have him preen himself in front of the mirror like he usually does before Josh goes out and then say there is something wrong and bring out a Tag Heuer watch. He asks if I know how much it costs. I knew it was expensive because I know The Guy, but said no. He said it was $2,800, but he found it for $1,400, but he didn't pay THAT much even. I said that I think it could wait until Christmas.

The Guy wants to take a nap about 4:50p.m. We go in the living room and he lays on the couch. 2 minutes later he is up and in the bedroom. In the bedroom we talk about me being frustrated with guys and I tell him about the Starbucks date the other day. I joked around with him and told him about how I miss sex with him when we were in the bed together- we weren't close- just at opposite ends. I'd like to think it wasn't me being selfish, but my subconscience or something.

Probably 15 minutes later The Guy is up and says he is tired, but restless. We go out to the jacuzzi and he offers me some shorts to go in. I accept that offer. We get out to the jacuzzi and I continue talking about my frustrations and he understands. Then he talks about how he is so bothered with Josh. He loves Josh. He has fallen for Josh. He is so supportive of him. He is worried though he is becoming too overbearing and his ego is so worried about the future. He can't just be in the moment, but he's worried that he will lose Josh as a friend. He worries that he'll lead Josh on too much and just be hurt. He is worried and he looked like he would cry any moment. He says he just needs to not plan and worry about the future. We talked about how we sense when each other is worried about something wrong and that Josh does it for him, he can do it with me, and with Jeff. I told him how it just hurts me to see how he may be hurt.

Out of the hot tub and 45 minutes pass in there. The Guy goes in, hops in the shower, then I shower after him. He tries on bright blue workout shorts and a white t-shirt for the gym. I joke and tell him to quit changing outfits. He tried a gray top, then a gray top with floofies. I tell him to go with the white. He says it might be too dramatic of a change. The Guy also shaves and brushes his teeth. I tell him to quit obsessing. He says Josh does this for him too. I said look, you're going to the gym. Josh is going to see you one of these days where you're not at your best, so don't worry. You're going to the gym to work out also, and you are to be recognized for going. Most people don't look half as good as you do clothing-wise or body-wise.

He takes off at 6p.m. and I talk to Dan in OKC for a few minutes, tell him about Josh. He is skeptical about Josh having a girlfriend on the side and shocked at how head over heels The Guy has become.

At 7:15 after I get off the computer with Dan I get a call from The Guy. He sounded really winded and I told him that he sounded exhausted. I heard sniffles, then asked what was wrong. He poured his heart out to me that he was the third wheel tonight. He told me how Josh was all over Jackie tonight. There was a comment that Josh made to not worry about anything. The Guy saw how girls were fawning over Josh and how The Guy was definitely the third wheel and he was so hurt. He is better than being the third wheel. He is worried he is constantly giving so much and supporting Josh so much, and he wants to be there for him. I mainly just listened. We talk some more and I put the bug in his ear that you're asking a lot out of Josh. I just said in a very nice way that I was in the same situation Josh was- not out and not accepting my sexuality- and if when I met The Guy we were suddenly dating like this, it would have been very hard family wise and also for myself just accepting my sexuality.

The Guy gets home after getting pizza and he smiles when he sees I brought in the 3 WOW expansion packs he ordered. He stands at the counter and tells me he doesn't know. He is just so lost. He told me how special Josh is to him. He values him for his friendship, the spark he brings, the support, and the happiness. He is scared to death of losing those. I wanted to scream out "THAT WAS ME." That was me with him this summer. He said he didn't know how to present this to Josh without making it an ultimatum of The Guy or Jackie (Josh's girlfriend). We talked and I mainly just listened, but told him how I'd feel. I can see it from Josh's position and I think that's what The Guy needed. I felt really good to be able to talk and we talked about how you don't have to give Josh an ultimatum- just let him know how you feel. The Guy said he is worried of scaring Josh away with this and I said that he's probably feeling the same confused feelings. The Guy said Josh always tells him how strong he is. I just told him to talk it out and let him know how you feel because it is eating you up.

I ate 2 slices of the pizza and Josh calls. He senses The Guy is having a hard time and they say they'll talk about it. I hurry up and get my stuff packed to take off. We do hug a couple times before I leave. We hug in the living room, we hug in the kitchen in the dining area, and then over by the washer and dryer. When we're standing in the living room I tell him "thank you for being the kind of friend you want to be for Josh (in reference to the friendship, the spark he brings (making me want to do better, making me excited to talk to him, etc.), and happiness. He had a huge smile afterward.

Trip wrap-up

Saturday:
- Went to Gaylord Opryland Resort: HUGE HOTEL/INDOOR GARDENS... it was HUGE!!! I walked the whole thing
- Toured the Grand Ole Opry: Who knew it seated 4,000? It sure doesn't look like it does on TV. It was neat to see all the behind the scenes stuff. At the end of the tour everyone stood on stage and sang "You Are My Sunshine."
- My dad's army unit's dinner: my dad's unit all wore black t-shirts with his unit's name and each member's name on the shirt. My dad does not wear t-shirts, so to see him wear a t-shirt was surprising.

Sunday:
- Got up at 5:00a.m. (3a.m. Cali time) to go to the airport
- There were maybe 40 people on our flight to Phoenix
- The flight back to Cali was packed... I had an aisle seat thankfully
- Got a text as I was getting off the plane from The Guy asking where I was. I replied the Southwest terminal and he said great, I'll be there soon. I was a little worried he was coming to pick me up. Got another text and he said he was going with Zach to Vegas for Zach's birthday. He'll be back tommorow afternoon he says. He's definitely going to get some heat from me for teasing me like that and we had said for a few days we'd hang out when I get back.... haha. Damn for missing him at the airport.
- I'm stuck on Nashville time. I want lunch about 9:30a.m. Cali time. I wanted dinner at 3p.m. Cali time (5p.m. Nashville).

Approval

FRIDAY
Got to Mike's about 3:30 and we headed to get his car at the repair shop. After the repair shop we go to Chilis where we have great service- bartender remembers us from a few weeks back and was awesome. We have the nachos and chips/salsa. We go back to his place afterward and watch the TV we missed from the week like Top Chef Desserts. We both fall asleep on the couch.

SATURDAY
We got up at 7 or so. Mike had to rearrange his flights for work and so he does that while I watch the news and play with the kitties. He comes in when he is done and we take turns showering. He spends the morning cleaning and doing clothes- I had offered to help, but he refused. We go to IHOP for breakfast since I had a gift certificate. The food was mediocre at best. I had the Nutella crepe.

We drive around town after looking at the councilman's house and exploring random neighborhoods. We go back to his place and watch TV. We head out a little later to get groceries for The Guy's party. We get mushrooms, hummus, spinach and artichoke dip, celery, and carrots- a few other basics. I pay for all that stuff. We decide to do stuffed mushrooms with spinach and artichoke dip and hummus with carrots and celery. We go back to his house and have a glass of wine while we arrange the food.

We head to The Guy's about 4pm and get there at 4:30. It was pretty fun. We walk in and there is a lot going on- everyone is in the kitchen. We set our food out and the party is on. The Guy explains the rules- it was a themed night. There was picture taking, judging, then you got to pick your pumpkin, and then you carved your pumpkin. The pumpkins were judged, and those with low scores had to sing for their life. Mike and I stayed pretty reserved mainly sitting and chatting on the couch. We made comments and jokes about random stuff like The Guy's decorating, his walls, and the queeny people at the party. We take our photos together for the judging part of the competition and I had a pretty awesome photo- I got to pick the 3rd pumpkin. Mike had an advanced design he was carving and it didn't turn out so well- his pumpkin caved in- but he was the one ahead of everyone telling them how to carve their pumpkin. He was awesome! The judging started at 8 and our pumpkins were ready to be judged. The Guy was the judge and he shouldn't have picked the ones he did to win. The winner was Zach, his best friend, whose pumpkin was late for the judging. He just did a generic happy face. The gal who did the intricate wolf in moon design should have won. I should have been 2nd, but I was 3rd. Zach won an iPod nano. Runners up got a $25 iTunes gift card and those who had to sashay away got $15 iTunes gift cards and candy. The event was pretty fun, although Mike was mad I didn't win and The Guy picked his best friend. Before we left, The Guy, said how nice Mike was and how happy he was for us.



We chat all the way home about the people there and The Guy's decorating. We both fall asleep on the couch.

SUNDAY

Up about 7 to go to Kohls and go to breakfast. WE head to McDonalds. We chat about random stuff like my cousin moving out here from Oklahoma. Mike buys several pairs of socks on clearance at Kohls. We head back toward his place and again do some exploring on the other side of the tracks. We watch some random Bravo show he Tivo'd while I lesson plan for the week. I am feeling hungry, so we head to a sandwich shop that he heard good things about. We wonder why... it wasn't that good. We watch some more TV and relax. I finish reading "The God Box" by Alex Sanchez, which was a pretty good story. I went on gay erotica downloading binge after. I have lots of new readS. Mike asks me if I want to go to New York to visit him for the holidays with his family. Yes. OMG. A New York Christmas!!! CAN IT GET ANY BETTER? I AM SO EXCITED TO MEET HIS FAMILY AND POSSIBLY SEE SOME SNOW... LOL.

We go to Loosill's BBQ for dinner and shop around the mall afterward. We went there since my bf wanted a veggie burger. We had a good time just walking around the mall. He bought a sport coat and polo at Banana Republic on sale.

We go back to his place and he packs for his business trip. We head to bed about 10:30 watching Old Christine.

MONDAY

He is up at 6 to shower and head off on his trip. I wake up at 6:30 and rush to get to work. I got out of the house about 5 minutes than earlier since the shower water was already hot, which was nice since I needed every minute at work today. Crazy day at work. Good day, but crazy.

Home now...

A lull

I've been so stressed lately with things going on in my life. I broke down and went to the psychiatrist last night at Kaiser. My doctor has been so staunch and refused to give me more than a preventative anxiety medicine. I have the anxiety meds and I feel so calm. That knot in my stomach is gone- the knot that has been so prevalent for weeks and months. I'm just literally amazed. My myspace status today is "I feel human again." I feel extremely mellow despite the events of today. I kind of like this!

I have been busy at school as the quarter just started. I think I have my classes picked. I'm only halfway looking forward to one of them, but I have an awesome schedule (10-12 on W, F and 10-12, 2-5 on Monday). I'm keeping optimistic- I am going to tackle the schoolwork head on, I only go 2 hours and back to back on W and F. I know I'm pretty much guaranteed a "B" in my Spanish class.

I got a 3.56GPA last quarter. I had 2 A's and 1 B. Dean's List... 3rd time... woot!!! Now if my GPA would rise above a 3.4141414141 I'd be ecstatic. I'm happy I have the Dean's List thing to brag about, though.

Work at the high school has been going well. There are going to be major budget cuts due to the Cali State budget crisis and my boss may be faced with laying some of us off. She assured me I have seniority as I've been there 4 years with Gonzo, so I won't be on the chopping block. I'm rarely there, which is another thing working for me, and she doesn't want to lose my expertise. She is working looking for alternatives including making sure all of my coworkers like Darla, Joe, Marci, etc. can get other in-district jobs at other schools with the same program if needed.

Subbing has been going well. I'm subbing for Linda, my mom's friend tomorrow. She is having eye surgery for blurred vision. Payday for subbing is Friday!!! WOOT!!!

And remember I was talking a few weeks back about needing to branch out in what I wear? Well, how's this? This is what Gonzo's idea of that was... she bought me this shirt for my birthday.
It is a t-shirt with unicorns, dinosaurs, and other things on... I'd wear it to the high school... but I'd wear it on a cold day where I could put a jacket over it... I love that she actually bought me that, I laughed, and thanked her for it. Then I said I'll wear it to work one of these days, so I guess I am going to do that. Well, stuff like that does appear to be in right now. All of the guys are wearing zipped jackets with odd, juvenile patterns like that.


I know we need an update on The Guy and so here it is. We have talked a little bit off and on lately, but I've been bitchy and he has been too. Josh is realizing how condescending his girlfriend is and Josh and The Guy seem to be back to their little love affair. They had the best New Years Eve together as Josh bought The Guy a USC hat and went over to watch the football game with The Guy, Zach (the guy's best friend), and Justin (Zach's friend). We're going to get together this weekend probably to celebrate my birthday.

Finding some trouble to get in to

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Limo to Margaret Cho

LOL... there's sooooo many good titles for this post, but so much to talk about.

I have been like a rockstar the past 24 hours with a limo, good food, drugs, my entourage, and good music.

I get off work yesterday and have a text from my cousin asking me if I want to go to Disneyland. I said "we'll see," but didn't give her a definite answer as I was just getting home and had a few things in my mind from work that I needed to deal with before I could think about going. About this time around 3p.m. I get a call from The Guy, which totally perplexed me. Friday, date night, and I get a call from him. We chit chat for a moment and then he asks if I want to go to see Margaret Cho with him, his boyfriend, and Jeff. Zach was supposed to go, but was sick. He told me to meet at his place at 5. I have a few errands to run since I was suddenly going out for the night, and run those. The Guy calls asking if I can pick up Jeff since he is mostly on my way. I said sure. That made me a little late getting to The Guy's at 5. It was a pretty cool drive with Jeff. We found stuff to talk about, which doesn't always happen. We talked about the new DMV licenses and how long it takes to get your license now in the mail.

We pull up to The Guy's house and there is a limo outside of his wing of condos. Jeff jokes there's our limo. I said with some hesitance, in a funny way, "of course!" Jeff and I walk in and the party had started long ago. All you could smell was pot. I run to the restroom and everyone takes a few hits, then the entourage heads out. We all have on our jeans and black zip down jackets. It was pretty hot. I was kind of stunned this whole time- we're taking a limo to a concert? Who does this kind of stuff? Apparently The Guy did this a few months back when the 4 of them went to another concert.

I sit next to The Guy, which is just because of the order we got in the limo. He suggests we move seats so his boyfriend could sit next to him, and that was alright with me. That put me in the DJ seat. I got to control the radio. I found 1043 MYFM and they were playing Katie Perry's "Teenage Dream." We had a serious discussion about Katie. We give her a lot of props. She has really catchy songs, which is why we like her. Her music is also so happy. A lot of the music pre-Katie was sort of a downer like some of Pink's stuff came to mind in the discussion like U+Ur Hand- we like the song, but it's a downer. Katie's stuff is all happy.

The Guy and Robert trade seats with me to adjust the air in the limo, which we were having a hard time doing. Then I started really having a blast. They asked me what each song was that was playing on MYFM. I am the musical guru- I know it all. The Guy asked who was playing as it came on and I told him it was Daughtry's "September." He told me how good I was. Apparently there was a RDS display to show in the limo. I told him I was. I said I was like Shazam. We talked about the 90s movie Shazam and debated whether it was Sinbad or Shaq in the movie- I said Shaq- and after googling it discovered I was right, just like Shazam. I identified and kept everyone abreast for their listening pleasure of what was playing- we heard Pink's "Raise Your Glass," "I Ran," by Flock of Seagulls, "Photograph" by Nickelback, Santeria, "Live LIke You're Dying" by Kris Allen, and some "Stay" by Lisa Loeb.







We were also belting out the songs as they came on, and the rum and coke/Pepsi in the limo helped all of that happen. Jeff had 2 half rum and half diet cokes and was wasted. We talk about how we need a sunroof to stick our heads out of, and we were so having an AbFab moment where we thought we might have to just use the emergency exit as a sunroof.

We get to The Wiltern about 6:45 and we are let out by our limo driver. How fun was that getting out and being stared out like "who are we?" That was fun. We decided we were The 4 Boys if anyone asked.

We wait outside the Wiltern for a few moments, but the line was sooooooo long and Jeff and I had to go to the bathroom so bad. He flirted with the cashier at Dennys to let us use the bathroom at Dennys. It was hilarious in the bathroom- Jeff used the urinal and SO I went in the stall to do my business. I didn't close the door and Jeff felt he needed to protect me from any guys who wanted to rape me- that's how I knew he was gone. LOL. My teacher bladder as I call it was full and I was taking a really long time, and Jeff was becoming increasingly worried that I would be raped.

We get outside and The Guy and Robert are about to walk in. We walk in and make our way to the snack bar for the M&M bag cookies and to the HRC booth for = stickers and our Legalize Gay shirts. We get those, make our way upstairs to our seats, and then Robert and I head to the bathroom. While on our way he asks me about an acquaintance we both have in common and we talk about other random friends. SOOOOOOOO FUN AND COOL THAT HE KNOWS THE SAME PEOPLE I DO. The people he knows are much more of the party people and very much on the party scene, but I know them as I did go to school with them. We go get more M&M cookies, then head back to our seats. I get back to my seat and Jeff wants me to go to the bathroom with him. I go with him and he comes out of the bathroom telling me how worried he was I would leave him and he'd have to "rely on the kindness of strangers."

We get back to our seats and the show is about to begin.



The opening act is pretty funny- John Roberts opened and he wore the wig seen in this video and used many different wigs to tell basically the story of his life and all the different types of girls you meet. It was pretty funny.



Oh, and the Margaret clip above was just at the point where it was kind of getting funny. The joke between The Guy and everyone the rest of the night was about the olive oil squirts and bombs it makes. We were all laughing pretty much the entire time. The ending was good- she had the LA Gay Men's Chorus on stage with her singing one of her songs. Yes, Cho sang and played the guitar, and even sang country. She has a good singing voice.

Back in the limo we decide to just head home. Again, I am Shazam, and I provide all the song titles. We heard some Hella Good from NoDoubt, Apologize by One Republic, and a few others. The Guy's boyfriend has a high voice like mine, but dang, he can belt out a tune pretty well. I'm jealous. The Guy talks about what a stoner he has become and how he is constantly high. I believe it. He talks about pot brownies, lollipops, and all sorts of other things he can now buy.



We get back to The Guy's place about 11:30. We are all hungry and he orders 3 pizzas from Round Table while encouraging everyone to do pot with him. Some did... let's just say some people there were higher than a kite by the night was over, some people were really touchy, others became very feely. I had some good and interesting conversations with everyone I do have to say. I enjoyed discussing all of the celeb gossip with Jeff- are Jake and Taylor meant to be? It was a sight... everyone was still friends today. I shudder as it was not a scene I really like to be around mainly because pot possession/being under the influence of pot could cost me my teaching credential just like that. I was so exhausted by the time things were winding down as it was about 2:30a.m. and didn't feel like driving Jeff back to his place- his actual house- not where he was when I had picked him up earlier in the afternoon, so I sort of told him I am spending the night. I just laid back on the couch and closed my eyes. I felt really spacey trying to fall asleep- I think it was just me being uncomfortable about the whole situation. I felt bad for not taking Jeff back to his place, felt bad for staying with The Guy, and other stuff like that. Gah, guilt. Part of it was my fault for being a little adventurous...

Robert has to go to work at 5:15 and I move my car from behind his so he can go to work. I fall back asleep until about 9. It was 11 or so before The Guy began stirring. He had awaken about 5:15 to do the dishes, light candles, and say goodbye to his boyfriend. I just laid on the couch and dozed.

At 11 or so we got up and ate some leftover pizza. Jeff and The Guy played WOW while I played on my phone. We watch some "Law and Order SVU" and "House." I had never seen "House," and let me say I HATE IT. House had some good 1 liners here and there, but he's the kind of guy I just want to slap because he is so unproductive. The Guy was taking hits all day. It was pretty relaxing. The Guy's boyfriend gets home about 5 and plays WOW for a few hours before everyone decides they are hungry. He says he'll make chicken enchiladas, so The Guy and he take off to the store to get the ingredients. He makes them in the kitchen while everyone hangs back watching "House." The enchiladas turned out pretty good. He used a green sauce, and a can sauce instead of red sauce. They were mostly gringo enchiladas, much different from my chicken enchiladas, but they were good. La salsa con tomates helped make them good.

After we eat it is 8p.m. and Jeff wants to head out. Yay! The Guy gives me my Christmas gift- its a little box- I'm guessing an Apple TV, but I'm not sure. It could be anything. What we do know (Jeff, Robert, The Guy, and I all determined) is that it was bought on amazon because it was professionally wrapped by amazon. We discussed our lack of wrapping abilities- well, except for me. I can wrap. The Guy said everything he orders on amazon this month regardless of what it is is being giftwrapped because it helps put him in the holiday spirit, and for $3.99 each item it is a good investment. LOL. I wish I'd brought my gift for The Guy since he had mine. I'm sure we'll meet again soon and I can give him mine.

Jeff and I head out. We talk about AUX ports in cars and how some have them, some don't. As we are heading through Fontana the traffic in the fast lane starts to slow. It slows a couple times and I get nervous as people may have not been paying attention. I see a car swerve from the fast lane to the center divider area to the right lane. This guy was all over the road. I was 3 cars behind him. We follow him for about a mile, then Jeff says he'll call 9-1-1. I'm glad he did. Apparently the guy was probably very drunk and we were not the first to call. We get a call from a CHP officer as we were driving and he asked where we were because he was using us, who eventually passed the drunk driver for our safety to gauge where we were so he could go pull the guy over. I was surprised though how far down the freeway the officer was in relation to where we were when we made the call. I guess that's simply because of who was available and in the area, but I can assume they got the guy. I hope.

I dropped Jeff off and told him I had a great time, then took off. I got home about 9:30.

Great convo, great friends, true friends, good memories, and a night of laughter. What could be better?

My friend from school on facebook commented how my life is so boring after I said I was going to go see Margaret Cho in a limo. lol. I love how my life is so unpredictable. I have those moments sometimes where even I don't know how my life will be in 5minutes because I may be suddenly doing something totally different and going somewhere different.

And so completes a successful weekend with The 4 Boys!!!

Coping with friends

I called The Guy Saturday afternoon and texted him. He got my text several hours after I sent it and a bunch of random texts. I don't recall what they were about, but nothing as scandalous as what my sister sent out. Not sure what is going on, but he called to confirm it wasn't me. I told him I was free everyday up until Wednesday and would love to hang out. He called me back sounding genuinely interested saying he wanted to hang out. I texted him yesterday morning about 10:35 asking him if he'd like to hang out today since he had mentioned Sunday. No response- no big deal. I texted him about 12 or 1 I think asking him if he could please reply and let me know if he got the text since my text thing has been weird and I'm not sure who is getting what. He called maybe 15 minutes afterward and asked what I was up to. I told him on my way to Victoria Gardens to go to the Apple Store for a power cord replacement. He invited me to stop on by after I was done if I had time.

So I drive over to his place. He is laying on the couch watching a biography/movie on Beatrix Potter's life. He told me how he was watching sappy movies. He was playing WOW also. Jeff called maybe 30-45 minutes into me sitting there. The Guy told me to answer his phone. I did- Jeff was wondering if everything is alright. I said yes, he was playing WOW. Then The Guy had me put it on speakerphone so he could talk. Jeff wanted to see he was doing OK and The Guy said he'd like it if he'd come and play WOW. Jeff shows up probably an hour later. I get my computer shortly after, then patch for the game, and run around my own in the town of Stormwind. I was completely lost and forgetting how to get out of it. I told The GUy I couldn't remember and he reminded me to hearth to get where I wanted to go. Made things much more easier. Jeff laughed and then The Guy made fun of him for having a hard time and still learning to play also. YAY. So The Guy and Jeff quested around together since both were level 73 or so. I was only 65 and needed to be 68 to get to the area they were. I didn't like playing alone, but being there with them made it fun. We watched "Saved," "Serenity," and "Sex and the City Movie" while sitting, playing on the couch. I hadn't seen the Sex and the City movie. We play for almost 7 hours- from about 2p.m.-9p.m. We did take a break and spent lots of time wondering about dinner. We talked about sushi (hehe), steak, and a few other things. We finally decided on steak and rice from an expensive restaurant up the street from The Guy. He ordered and I went to get it since I wasn't questing around with him and Jeff. It was about $24.00 for each of us and there was little food. The Guy joked he could do this because he wasn't supporting a freeloader now.

It was fun watching "Sex and the City" because there were funny parts, but we were also deciding which characters we were. The Guy is Carrie- he is a writer, he has lots of boy troubles, a great group of friends, and he has the quick witted remarks. The Guy's best friend Zach is Samantha with being so straightforward about everything, "wax much?" I thought I was Charlotte- everything is a fairytale, very romantic, happy ending. The Guy said that was Jeff, which I highly disagree with since Jeff seems more like Miranda to me and we argued about that. The two of them decided I was the gay wedding planner in the movie.

There were a lot of jabs at Josh while we were sitting on the couch. First, before Jeff arrived he talked about how he wondered if this was over. I told him it probably wasn't. I'd hope Josh would come around to apologizing. He cried asking me about what he could have done differently being cornered by Jackie and how it was basically a no-win situation.

Jeff left about 9p.m. when he had a friend coming over. "Sex and the City" was in the last 30 minutes and I knew he would break down. He did. He told me how much it hurt. How there was no closure to this; how if Josh came back, he would readily take him back; how he is going to therapy now and hoping to grow from this situation. He talked about how he wonders if Josh will come around, if he misses him, and things like that. The Guy talked about things like how worried he is about going back to his old weight. He broke down when he talked about things they did together, how hurt and rejected he feels. He cried about how he tried and really feels deep down he has done nothing wrong. He talked about how he spent $20,000 in 6 months on him (he only makes $4,000 more per year than that). He talked about how he was living on pens and needles throughout this time, yet he was happy at times, but had so much anxiety and worry about what Josh was doing. He talked about how he helped Josh with school, work, family, friends, and everything was just there for him (protein powder, school books, shakes, clothes, money, etc.) He talked about how he added Josh to his health insurance and now Josh has health insurance, but he is unsure whether to cancel it; he said he probably won't. He was tracking Josh's cell phone usage (remember- he is on The Guy's plan). He noticed he kept getting a call from the 626 and some from Fontana. He was calling these 2 people repeatedly. He noticed Josh hadn't been texting and I told him it takes a while for texts to show up. He was debating as to whether to cancel or what. He said he may today. He was worried Josh would come today demanding all of his stuff back and he was thinking what would make him hurt the most, what to say, and things like that. He said he was hoping this wouldn't come because it would be like the end. He talked about how he does have no regrets. He talked about how everyone hates Josh, especially his brother, parents, and Jeff. In a couple questions he asked about Josh's treatment and dealing I think I provided some insight. I talked about me almost being forced to come out because of my Aunt in Nor Cal, when I met him I was just exploring my sexuality and could have been outed, things like that, and how The Guy was always there, always supporting, and he has that comforting thing to him, so I would have never have treated him this way. If I were in a relationship and outed because of it with The Guy I may be in a panic for a few days, but then I would have picked up my phone and called him. I talked about how a couple times I've felt like I've really fucked up our friendship, yet I am on the phone within a few hours or so to apologize because I don't want to lose him because of all of his support (monetary and emotionally). He talked about how he feels Josh is at a real loss because he knows that he does enhance all of his friend's lives, though he isn't perfect, may be lazy etc.. I completely agreed.

After this, we settled down and watched a little bit of "The Mummy Returns" until 1:00a.m. or so. I was exhausted and falling asleep when we called it a night. It took me about 30 minutes to get home. Not bad.