Breaking my silence

I've been quiet for a month or so. Not much going on on the guy front. Haven't really wanted to post. I was feeling VERY down at the beginning of the month, especially around my birthday. I was going through a difficult time.

For one, I haven't really spoken with The Guy since we hung out a week and a half ago other than through e-mail making sure everything was ok. Everytime I would try to call him he was not picking up. I translated that into him ignoring me. I got an e-mail from him last Wednesday or something saying he needed space. I probably shouldn't have, but I e-mailed him last Saturday an e-mail like I usually do when I'm worried about something. This case was our friendship. He hasn't been acting the same lately. So distant. Not picking up his phone. EVER. We all know he is the kind to call about anything, so I've been confused and worried I lost him. I managed to hold off on calling until today. I just called and left a nice message saying I hope to talk to him soon or see him. I know all of this worry is because he has been acting so strange and I probably taxed him a lot as a friend, so he has been keeping distance. Anyways, I got a text from him saying things have been kind of crazy today and that was just enough to put my mind at ease. I was really worried this weekend, but kept my mind occupied for the most-part with homework. We're not seeing each other, but he's a good friend and a good friend I need so desperately. He wasn't available and I needed him in that time. He was the only close friend who knew. I had just spouted off the Josh comment and so it was expected he wouldn't be there. I have been getting along pretty well, though and his text today was appreciated.

Anyways, I've also been keeping mum about something that happened last month and carried over into this month. Remember Stalker Mike? Saw him at the gym one day near the beginning of December. He just stared at me. When driving home I stopped at the bank, he was behind me at the ATM in the drive through. He didn't use the ATM. He was following me. I called The Guy panicking and drove to the CHP (Cali Highway Patrol) on his encouragement as well as 9-1-1. Many thanks to Creative Thinker for helping encourage me through all of this as well as give me advice. He gave me info about getting a restraining order and encouragement. I was a wreck hiding this from my parents, hiding the court papers, the fact I was doing this, and all of that from my parents. Mike was served the restraining order the Thursday before Christmas and violated it on the Tuesday I believe before Christmas. I got a call when shopping with Gonzo at Victoria Gardens. He was arrested. Found out through my cousin who has connections he was arrested in 2006 for sexual assault and harassment. I had a hearing on January 7, the day before my birthday. I was tough asking a lot out of The Guy at this time. Needing someone to talk to and asking a lot out of him. It was a lot- a lot for me to handle- especially to keep it from family. I thought I asked him to be there with me at the hearing the Saturday before, apparently I didn't, or maybe I did and one of us didn't remember, anyways that was something we argued about causing for ruffled feathers.

So my blogs have taken a different tone I know lately. I've been talking about things that amuse me, that make me happy, what I did throughout my day. Focusing on me. Things that make me happy. Things that amuse me. But I'm back and I'm doing well.