I also sent another text several minutes later, saying, "if you do feel better by 2:30 it would mean a lot to me to have you there and celebrate the day with me."
Text from The Guy
He's not going to my graduation dinner.
In fact it went through my mind last night he wouldn't come.
I feel like calling and telling him off right now, or at least making him feel bad.
Part of me doesn't believe him.
Or at least texting him saying
"I figured this would happen"
or "it would have been nice having you there"
or "naturally"
or "I'm always there for you, yet when I want you there for something, you are not"
Tempted to drive over to his house, see if someone is there as the reason he is not going, then take a pic, and say "I understand."
Update: Thanks to Joe for reiterating that I don't want to lose him when we chatted on the internet. I waited 45 minutes or so to call The Guy. He picked up probably before it went into voicemail and he sounded awful. He said he has gotten no sleep since Thursday night when he pulled an all-nighter helping Josh, then had to go to work the next day, and still hasn't caught up on sleep. He told me he had a headache and was going to go back to sleep and would let me know later. I am pretty sure he heard the tears in my voice and said "it'd be great if you could make it, it'd mean a lot to me." He said he'll try and let me know later.
I am not going to drop the subject because I'm hurt by this and keeping it in is not healthy. I will let him know when I chat with him another time that I am hurt and of all days he could have done this to me. I plan to say something like "The Guy, I know that you say you were sick, and I want to believe you, but you really did hurt me. I almost expected you to do this. I was so excited to introduce a good friend like you to my parents, friends, and family. I wanted you to be there to celebrate with me because you have been a tremendous support for me and you have been there for a good part of my college career."
I do think I handled the situation very well overall. I avoided reacting until I had some time to back off, think about it, then stew. I did, and feel better. I'm trying my best to not let it ruin my day.
4 comments:
I am proud of you for taking the time to back up and think it all through. I know you are hurt by this, but as I said before, don't let this ruin YOUR day. It is your day, and you deserve it.
It was great talking with you. Glad I was there to shed a little advice for you. You know where to find me.
:( *Hugs*
I think what Joe said is right on, don't let it ruin your day. It's good that you called The Guy and let him know how sad you are that he's not going.
But you never know, maybe he'll surprise you? Don't dwell on it, it'll be a great day anyway, okay? :)
I would encourage you to chill on this one. I know it is important to you, but you have to realize that this is likely an awkward situation for him. He does not want to be put in a position of needing to lie about how you guys really met or the nature of your relationship. He likely wants to avoid even the possibility of your family looking at him and wondering why is this mid 30’s single (gay) guy hanging out with you. He has reached an age where his dignity and independence takes priority; he might give them up for lust, love, Josh, or a mid-life crisis. Maybe he will come, but I doubt it. Let him bow out gracefully, and move forward with your friendship understanding there are limits and boundaries to every relationship.
I don't have any great advice other then I know that this hurt and that it is hard to keep your mind from
racing and it's natural to want to lash out, really let it rip.
But most times I've done that I've regretted it. Hope it all worked out!
Post a Comment