Beautiful Mess

I sent The Guy a text this morning that was very simple. I just said, "hi." About an hour later I got a "hey mike, how are you?" back. I texted him back and told him about creating a movie in iMovie of my graduation. I asked how he was. Took me a couple times asking to get a reply. He said "I'm a mess." I probably put a sad face or something, then he elaborated a "beautiful mess like in Jason Mraz' song." I said well, he is cute, or something. I knew he was hurting and in pain. I propositioned him and said "you need to hang out or get out." I told him I'd bring something by for lunch. I asked what he'd like. He said maybe a sandwich. I asked from where. No reply. I named a place and he replied "turkey." I told him I'd be there in an hour.

I grab the sandwiches at the place and head over to his. I get in and I yell "hello!" His dog barks, then comes to me. The Guy joked how he hadn't seen me in so long. We hugged. He cleared a space at the couch and we sat down to eat. He ate a few bites and asked me how things were going. I told him well. I told him I made a video of my grad pics. I told him where I chose to go get my masters. I told him my reasons. He then came back and asked if I was ready. I figured he meant to go. He told me he was going to go lay down shortly. I asked to go where. He said CVS. He took me up on the offer of needing to go out. We went to CVS looking for candles. They had 1 Febreeze candle. We were going to buy it, but the wait was so long. He said we needed to go to Target then. He just laid the 1 candle in a display and we walked out.

We chatted about lots of things on the way in and out of CVS. The ugly girl next to us with tattoos all over. How smoking didn't do anything for her. The Guy told me he was up until 4a.m. last night and wrote Josh a poem called "The Warrior," but then told me it wasn't about Josh, it was about him. He e-mailed it to Josh. I told him I was going to say that it didn't sound like Josh.

We talked about what's going on with me on the way to Target. I was very upbeat overall because I don't have anything to complain about really. I told him that I am probably going to buy a new Macbook Pro like I want, but am working with a few people to get me a discount. We talked about weird people.

He is mad that there are so many people at Target in the parking lot. He asked why everyone was there, and didn't they work. I said social security checks probably just hit the banks. Then I saw Shaniqua in front of us with a lot of junk in the trunk and pushing babies in the cart, so I said it is probably welfare checks. We had a great discussion about how we both hate welfare and think that if you are on it, you should be doing some sort of work weather it be picking up trash, yardwork on the side of the road, or public works projects.

We go in and nobody is in Target. We go to the candle aisle and he buys $100 in Febreeze candles. We also get some freezer bags and dish soap. He gets an iTunes gift card too. We check out and the guy in front of us is filling out papers for a home loan or something, The Guy deemed, for taking so long.

We go back to his place and on the way he is telling me he thinks he got no sleep this weekend because of Josh. The Guy asked about spending the 4th together and Josh said sure. Josh then went to Catalina with his family and came over very late that night. The Guy knows he was invited with Josh's family, but Josh didn't let him. Josh is constantly turning away from him. The Guy called his dad today and said he is back with Josh and all the pain he is causing. The Guy's dad basically ratted him out and said he was taking advantage of The Guy. The Guy asked my opinion and I said I think so. I'd like to think not, that he is just a guy on the fence with his sexuality, but he has given Josh many opportunities to act upon it. I know by this point I would have, and I would be madly in love with him given the opportunity. He starts welling up with tears while we're in the carport and I rub his hand to comfort him. We go in and we eat a few bites of our sandwiches, then he says he is going to lay down. I eat the half of my sandwich I'd been trying for a while, then I go in and tell him I'm taking off. I put my hand on him and then hugged him and he thanked me for lunch.

I got a text tonight from him thanking me. He was up playing some WOW. Hopefully we're back to normal. I miss him.



BTW I sense a Jason Mraz theme going on as of late.