Went to the Yankee game with my sister, dad, and few friends of my mom's.
Snippets from our convos:
Before we left the house...
Mom: Did you put suntan lotion on?
Sis: No. I don't need it.
Mom: You will. You see what the game did to you last week. (Mom gives me the look wondering if I did.)
Me: I put it on.
Sis: Well, it's because you're a girl.
In the car...
Me: I will drop you guys off, then go down to Panera and meet Joe (a coworker who was going to the game, but had a better plan of heading to breakfast before the game. We arrived at 10 and the game was at 12:35)
Sis: Dude, you're such a girl, going to breakfast before the game. I ate Jack in the Box in the car to save time.
Me: I'm hungry and arriving 2 1/2 hours early and waiting in the hot sun is not my idea of fun.
Sis: It is. Watching the guys warm up, getting to watch batting pratice. You waste so much money going out to eat with your friends. Dad, doesn't he waste money?
Sis: You're stupid. You're such a girl. Dad, isn't there something wrong when Mike wants to go out to eat over going to the game?
Dad: Whatever you say.
Sis: Seriously, who cares you're going to be out in the sun? There's something wrong when your son doesn't like sports. There's also something wrong when he wants to go catch up on gossip with his friend. Dad, do you see this?
7th inning at the game... keep in mind in 100 degree heat, we were in the sun, and on top of having fun my goal was to stay hydrated
Me: I want a water. (I was going through about a drink every 2 innings)
Sis: Dude, you drink too much. That gives you gas. You're also wasting money.
Me: (Gives her that look of surprise).
Dad: Ok, sounds good
Sis: Dad, Mike's wasting your hard earned money. You've already bought like 5 drinks for him.
Me: Keep in mind it is 100 degrees out. Heat exhaustion? Stay hydrated? Yes?
Dad: He can have whatever he wants. It's hot. If you needed something I'd buy something for you.
Sis: Well, I'm not going to waste your money, dad. I'll let you buy me a drink afterward at a restaurant where you aren't forced to pay so much.
Dad: If you can wait.
Sis: I can, unlike Mike the Camel.
Me: I'd ride a camel.
Sis: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeew that's nasty.
Me: Girls like you don't do that I guess.
On the way home in the car...
I receive a text message from Joe and another friend.
Dad: You're popular tonight.
Sis: Drive, idiot! You're such a girl wanting to check your phone while driving. You're like a girl checking her phone and makeup.
Dad: Enough Sis. We're sitting here at the stop light. He's ok.
Sis: No. We're going to get in an accident. Did you see him on his phone nonstop during the game?
Dad: It is his choice.
Oh, and how was breakfast? Great. Met Joe's dad and mom. Good convo. Good meal. We all got to the park with about 10 minutes to spare. I was filled up. I felt pretty manly and was ready to enjoy a manly game of baseball. And it was a great game. Yankees lost!!! Oh, and my sister really didn't get to me. She just talks. I'm getting good at tuning her out and not intervening in her ramble. I enjoyed the game. Seriously, 2nd row seats, enjoyed the company of my mom's friends from work/teachers I work with, hot guys, lots of action, especially after the 6th inning when the game started picking up and the Yankees started trying. Oh, and I was able to name the Angels players and their positions- something my sister said I couldn't do because I was a girl and not interested in baseball.
So here we go... 1st base is Brandom Wood, 2nd base is Isturiz, 3rd is Figgins, pitcher is Lackey
She was amazed. It shut her up- that was until she decided to ask me about the players.
And you know what? I was able to tell her about them. Lackey is 6'6'', has been on the Angels since 2002, stuff like that won me extra points. Certainly a gay guy wouldn't know that.