Reciprocity and other friendship topics

I was supposed to hang out with The Guy on Thursday, but he just texted me asking if we could do Friday. He was having a bad day yesterday. Josh. I texted him today to make sure Friday was a good day. He said it was. I went to my doctor's appointment for the prepping for my appointment for next week. After I went to my mom's school to help her get her room ready.

When I got there his new car was nowhere to be seen. His old car was there. I thought I got there before him, perhaps he was still at work. I try to open the door and then knock. He comes and opens it. He told me he got a massage earlier, he was in pain due to his intense workouts, and his car was in the shop getting a new stereo system put in. He asked how I was. I was at the point of just needing to vent. I told him about my headaches and how bad they had gotten. The doctors just recommended I try air filters in my room. He said I should take one of his air filters and see if it helps. I asked if he was serious (I knew he was) and he said so. He asked if I wanted lunch, the pasta he made last night with steak. He warmed it up on the stove.

While sitting down eating I told him about going over to my mom's room and showed pictures I snapped on my phone. He was quite disappointed that for the technology in her room it cost that much. He said the principal must be lying, and he was sure of it. We talked a little bit more about my headaches. We played some WOW with his friend Mike. It was mainly me being a level 80 shaman and standing around doing that. He played a healer. Mike was the tanker I think. We did this for probably 30 minutes until one of his best friends Jenn called. She has been friends with him since high school. They chatted for a while about Josh, how Josh is so scared of losing his masculinity, stuff like that... basically the stories he hadn't got around to telling me. I had probably drank 2 glasses of water to avoid coughing so much while he was on the phone. Afterward I asked him if he had Benadryl laying around since I needed something else to keep me dry. He said no, but we'd go get something. He signed off and we got in my car to go to CVS. I look at their poor selection of meds. I pick one up that I found that I didn't really want. Turns out Alavert was at the counter, and he told me that. I am paying and he brings up 2 tubes of toothpaste that I was willing to pay for, but he insisted on paying for. In the car we sing Coldplay's "Viva La Vida" when it came on the radio and he sang Lady Gaga's "Love Game." I only sang the parts of "Love Game" I knew (I wanna take a ride on your disco stick). He wasn't scrolling through his phone or anything in the car, which was unusual. Instead he asked me about my doctor's appointments and what was going on with me.

We get back, play more, then he gets a call his car is kind of, sort of ready. We head down there and he gives me a couple of great complements- first that I have really changed in the past 6 months or so as a person. I am much more optimistic and I don't seem to think everything is the end all like I had grown to. The therapy has helped. He also tells me his mom had a year and a half sinus infection and is just now being treated. About this time we get to the stereo place. His car was completely taken apart. He is getting a $5,000 audio system put in his new ride linked to his factory navigation and stereo that is already in it, just upgraded $2,000 speakers, amps, subwoofer, and Bluetooth. We spent some time standing around looking, looking at the brochures to make sure his install would be smooth, talking to the guys working. They take about 45 minutes to put his car back together. The Guy asks what it would cost to have Sirius/XM put in my car through the factory stereo because he's asked about whether I had it and how much I need it everytime he has been in my car. I'm curious, so I pushed him to ask. It'd be about $400-600. His car is somewhat put together, but needs to go back in Monday for the Bluetooth and audio installation. He only had the new speakers in as of today.

We get back and I get my first chance to sit in his new car. He has the radio up as high as it will go and the speakers sounded awesome. I know that since I have known him I listen to things differently and notice things like good audio/good speakers. It is crazy. We go in the house and his dog got out of the bedroom and drank the chocolate milkshakes he made after we went to CVS. Forgot to mention that detail earlier. Good banana and chocolate shake with protein powder, Omega 3s, veggie supplement, and other stuff. We go in the office, however, where he uploads photos for a friend to a website. Then we talk about stuff like Josh, hot guys, and random stuff. He also goes onto facebook and is playing around on there. I realize he is not a facebook friend of mine since I don't recall seeing his status updates or anything. I log onto facebook on my phone to friend him and realize he sent me a request, but I never accepted. I told him that I didn't realize that, how strange that was, and accepted him. We laugh about that. We go back out to his car and listen to the stereo. He programs in his radio stations (KROQ 106.7, KBIG 104.3, KOST 103.5, KIIS 102.7, and KFROG 95.1). KOST was in the midst of Lovesongs on the KOST and playing sappy music like Kelly Clarkson's "A Moment Like This," and both of us were practically in tears for no real reason, it was very weird. I told him how I want to go see her at the OC Fair, and how that was the only idol he cared about. He had his fix he deemed after a few more minutes, so we went in.

The Guy cleans up his dog's mess in the kitchen, then we go out to the jacuzzi. Outside he unloads talking about all the stuff he told Jenn on the phone, how he is trying to back off monetarily from Josh and not be his support like that, how he is struggling so hard. Last night he told Josh he was making dinner in a text. Josh texted back something like "cool." He was hoping for Josh to say like "great, can I come over?" or "sounds good." The Guy finally asked him if he wanted to come over. What he wants Josh to do so badly is to offer and say he'll come over and stop separating his straight and gay life. We talked about his masculinity, how Josh is so scared, how Jenn and Mike are being recruited by The Guy to help talk. We talked about the reason I'm not- and he didn't mean anything bad, but last summer when I was at my low The Guy used Josh to unload and tell him about all my problems, so Josh is skeptical of me. I wasn't hurt. I knew that, actually, and told The Guy. The Guy and I talked about therapy and how we he gets different viewpoints from that, and I get acceptance from therapy and just accepting things like they are. I told him how he had sort of a caveat last summer when he asked me to go. He was worried he gave me an ultimatum and I said no, just how we weren't going to be as close sexually, and stuff like that, but he couldn't do anything more for me, and asked me to go. I told him how that was what he did to me, and said he should do that with Josh. I told him my biggest fear was losing him. We talked about our friendship. The Guy hasn't had sex in 3 months, which is hard for him. We talked about how he told me things like he couldn't have a boyfriend, couldn't be with me, yet all the elements of a relationship were there, and I talked about how it was for me being newly out, how he was so supportive, and I was clinging to him. He said he was happy about our friendship and how it had changed because he feels it is stronger, and the sex made things sort of difficult at times. He said he hoped I felt our relationship was better. I had a hard time responding because I was on the verge of tears as I was talking about how difficult the year, or past 2 years have been.

I wanted to reaffirm to him that everything was ok on the way home. I sent him a text how even though he is so easy to talk to I had a hard time responding when we were out by the jacuzzi. I wanted him to know the sex was great, but there is so much more I value him for including his love, humor, support, and knowledge. He sent me a text back thanking him and we texted about things we do for each other. I specifically thanked him for helping me with the computer, then giving me the air purifier to try. I also said I wanted to make a meal for him to thank him since he's done a lot for me lately, and I haven't really reciprocated. We talked about how our friendship varies from him and Josh's, which is hardly a good example, but it has always been built on reciprocity. I have never cooked a meal for him, and I have a new favorite pasta, and I think it would be fun.

I logged onto the manufacturer's website and found out that the 3 bars on the right mean there are lots of negative ions in the air in my room. It is not just red, but it went straight to the orange zone! Gasp! And that's with my old Honeywell running 24 hours a day for the past week and some.