I'll Just Leave.

Act I: Tuesday night, Allergy shots

Act I Scene I- In my car
Dad: Does Olive Garden have the pasta special still?
Me: Just a few more days. I think it lasts until the 8th they showed on the commercial.
Dad: Let's go there.
Me: Ok.

Act I Scene II- Kaiser, waiting for our arms to be checked to see that we haven't had a reaction to the allergy shots
Sis: Where are we eating?
Dad: Olive Garden
Sis: Who said that?
Dad: I did. Do you want something else? Carrows? Carls? Cocos? Jack in the Box?
Sis: No. You know I don't like that.
Dad: You like spaghetti.
Sis: No you idiot, they have poopy spaghetti. You know I don't like theirs.
Dad: You ate it a month ago.
Sis: Yeah, only because I was forced.
Dad: Well, where do you want to go?
Sis: I don't care.
Dad: Carrows?
Sis: I'll just leave.
Dad: Farmer Boys?
Sis: No. Yuck.
Dad: McDonalds?
Sis: You know I don't like white meat chicken nuggets.
Me: Chickens don't have nuggets.
Sis: Shut up you poophead.
Dad: Marie Callendars?
Sis: That's a grandma place. No.
Dad: Dairy Queen?
Sis: No. Their chicken has too many calories.
Me: They fry it- just like everywhere else. Shame on them.
Sis: No you idiot my food isn't fried.
Dad: Wienerschnitzel?
Sis: You know hot dogs make me sick. Remember in Mrs. MacIntire's class when I choked on one back in 1st grade? Remember? It was a chicken hot dog? I can't stand hot dogs. You know that!
Dad: No. Ok.
Sis: I'll just leave. You guys just don't understand me.
Dad: We're trying to go somewhere together.
Sis: No. You guys just don't care. I'll go home and be alone. You guys don't eat good food. I don't need you.
Dad: Ok...
Sis: I'll just eat at home.
Dad: Ok...
Sis: I'll just eat at home.
Dad: Are you sure? Subway?
Sis: You're just going to waste money with Mike. He's going to run you out of house and home because he's going to take you to the most expensive place he can find, and you'll say yes, then we'll be broke for the rest of the month.
Dad: Hey.
Sis: You waste so much money feeding him. He's a pig. He goes oink oink. It is just too expensive to eat out. I'll just go home.
(In my mind I'm thinking eat from your Campbells Soup Can. That sounds real good, you do that, dumb bitch.)

Act I Scene III- My car
(We just decided upon going to Yardhouse since my dad had never been.)
Me: It is so much quieter without Sis. We can actually try new things. I like this. I could get used to this.
Dad: I figure we can try something new.
Me: We should do this more often.

Act I Scene IV- Yardhouse
Dad: What is this? A pick up bar?
Me: (laugh)
Dad: It has the feel. Look at that girl over there where she has an expansive chest and a drink in her hand. She is screaming take me home.
Me: Take me home and fuck me. (I'm bad! I normally would never have said that around my dad)
Dad: Well, look at the girl next to her. She's got the hair and leather jacket.
Me: HAHAHAHA
Dad: What is this place? It is so loud you can't think. I want to be able to go into a restaurant and have a conversation. I don't need to be blasted by the music. You know how this goes. That's why your mother always asks to be sat away from the speakers.
Me: Uh huh... I don't mind it... It's nice upon occasion.

Fun moments at dinner...
A group of 8 Asians were getting wasted at Yardhouse and burst out singing just about any song that came over the speaker. One song was hilarious, and that was "Benny and the Jets," they burst out going "buhbuhbuhBenny" and we were cracking up. My dad said how he didn't know if they were drunk yet, but he didn't need to be around them.

The big Asian girl with the big mouth sang "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds," and that was funny. She was waving her napkin in the air.

Dad comments on how people probably end up getting sloshed coming here like the people with the yardstick of beer and how he didn't need to come after work for something like that.