Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Fake Christians/ struggles with religion

I read this on my cousin's friend's Xanga... old school... haha. Anyways, this girl was able to summarize what I feel sometimes so well. I really want to link to her post because it was so well written, but instead I'll summarize and give my own opinion. I know she checks her counters and how people are finding her site, so being the paranoid closet guy I am, I don't want to risk outing myself or have her commenting, asking me who I am by linking to her site.
The girl says she has a constant struggle with her spirituality because of her upbringing in Catholic school. She hated it, the nuns, the strict rules, stuff like that has turned her off to Catholicism because they present the religion in a way that it is not. The nuns try to be loving, but they have turned her off to religion. She went to a Christian school for middle school and she realized that the kids there, like at Catholic schools are meaner than anywhere else. Their teasing is worse than any she experienced in public school. She contemplated suicide as early as 11. This only drew her away from the church.

In high school she went to a public high school- my old high school. She said that she was amazed by people who did and didn't believe in God. She said that she was thankful for this time to question her beliefs, which for her was good. Her best friend was an athiest, which scared her filippino Catholic parents. They sent her to confirmation classes to help instill good Catholic values in her.

In college, she was further away from God because she had the freedom to experiment. Her parents forced her to transfer back to a private Christian university in this city. This, she says, stunted her faith in God again because the people were much like they were in Catholic and Christian school- rude and ungodly.

She, like me, at so many times felt that it was better to be religious than nonreligious to save ourselves from damnation. Spirituality is a good thing. We both have forced ourselves to talk to God daily, pray, etc. because we both do believe in God, but there have been experiences that have turned religion off to us. We both believe there is a God. We both respect each religion. We both like to talk about religion and answer questions about religion. Both of us agree that fake Christians- those who don't act Godly, yet consider themselves believers. Those who say they're Christian and really aren't. We both don't want to be associated with these types of people. Both of us have experienced our fair share and find it a real turnoff to religion. I remember even as early as middle school in youth group realized how some of the kids were so mean to each other and I didn't want to be associated with them. This was in the Christian youth group. I remember in high school, it was the in thing to go to the church on high school night. It was always the wrong kids going- the ones who make fun of everyone, the kids who were disruptions in class, constantly suspended, etc. etc. , maybe they were trying to find God, but I have my doubts on that, and I just don't want to be associated with them.

We both want to have kids, raise them in the Christian or Catholic church for the values, etc. instilled in kids. There are a lot of important biblical lessons taught that are mostly common knowledge, which it is important for kids to know about.

Family, fake Christians, Christian schools (I never went to a private school), but things like that have turned us off to religion and make us realize we don't want to be associated with these people.

Anyways, she ended saying she needs to take baby steps. Maybe this means spending a few minutes praying before bed. But it is hard to feel like you want to be a Christian, want to believe in God, want to be labeled by the tag Christian, when there are so many negative things associated with being a Christian and some really unchristian people.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

i can relate to your friend. i also went to catholic school all my life but didn't find the God or the true meaning of what it was to be a christian until later on in life - when i developed a personal relationship with God.

Most often, religion is man's enforced practices on people who are trying to reach God.

While God is always accessible (as he says in the Bible) through his son Jesus.

Remember that it's not about a religion (methodologies, practices, sacraments) but rather, it's about your own relationship with God that matters.

Creative Thinker said...

Dude - I went to a private school all my life. I transferred to a really good Christian school during my last 4 years of high school. It was here that I got an education regarding what was real in one's spiritual life and what wasn't. It was the in thing to be a "christian". It was the south and everyone was doing it. But they weren't really. It still amazes me to look back on all the people that say one thing and do another. I have always had a problem with that and the southern culture tends to breed that mentality. Since I have come out to my friends,many of whom are non-Christians, I can say that I have felt such love from them that I am not at all sure that I will get from my Christian friends that don't know. I know, just trying to lead a halfway decent and real Christian life can be SUCH a struggle... very thought provoking post...

dan said...

there will always be sin in the world. make your belief about faith, not religion.

we'll prolly need to chat soon.
later.

Aek said...

I can sort of "half-empathize" with you. While I do believe in some kind of God or divine force, I also believe that faith and spirituality is a very personal and individual thing, to be discovered and developed, perhaps privately.

But I was never raised in any kind of religion. What turned me off from religion was the rigidity of many/most religions, and how people "knew" their religion was the one true religion and everyone else is damned. What's the point of being a good person if all that matters is belonging to the right religion?

No, I like to think that regardless of religion, being a good person and living by example are more important to God or whatever than practicing the customs and rituals of a particular religion. I like to believe that religion is only one way to understand God and develop spirituality. If religion works for you, by all means, embrace it. If it doesn't, there are other ways.

P.S. I particularly dislike it when people try to convert me, even if they are sometimes my friends. More than anything perhaps, that turns me off to religion.

Queen of Arts said...

i could not have said it better myself ...