And today I got a myspace message at about 2p.m.
Subject: hi
Message: I hope all is well
I wanted so badly to write back that everything was grand. I didn't. I can be a big boy and I don't need the drama, so I refrained.
And at 6p.m. I just received this one, which of course is one of those that sounds manipulative and is trying to reel me back in...
Subject: i guess you are comfortable
Message:
...with the situation the way it is. it was a week ago today that this situation came about. i hoped that a week of silence would allow you to think about things, and hopefully attempt to contact me with the desire rekindle our companionship.
i still firmly believe that i was not in the wrong, having been hurt the way i was. i still believe that i'm not deserving of your friendship since i can only contribute so much to it. perhaps you have decided the same.
i will miss you Mike.
last week in anger, i deleted your cell number from my phone. so i could not contact you that way, and my brother had done something to the computer last week preventing us from being able to log in for almost the week. So- until yesterday, there would have been no way to contact you anyways.
honestly, for a period of 3 days during the week i pretty much stayed in my room the whole time. i slept probably 30 hours total, and ate and showered once. i feel that i am slipping into a deeper depression. oh well. i have no friends, no job, no money. why wouldn't i be depressed?
well.. for what it's worth.. i did enjoy your friendship! i just wish that i could have contributed more to it, and i wish you had another type of cell phone, and i REALLY wish that I dodn't have a birthday this year, then you wouldn't have been able to hurt my feelings.
take care..
Carl
The only thing I'm going to say, well, I think he is unreasonable to give me a week and expecting everything to be rosy. And he is "not in the wrong being hurt the way he was?" As I recall I told him we would go to Disneyland, just another day. And he was the one who didn't want my friendship...
His myspace status: Majorly
Mood: Depressed!
I'm not trying to make a game out of this, drag it out, or just keep beating a dead horse. I am just venting because it came up, and well, I don't believe I'm in the wrong on this one, and I don't see myself running back to him. And with Carl, everything is a game. I know how he works. He says something, he knows I'll feel sorry, and run back. He has to own up this time. Sorry. Part of me wants to reply back and tell him I'm sorry, but the damage is done; but I think that sometimes things are best left unsaid.
5 comments:
He sounds a lot like my ex. And it's been a lot longer than one week before I allowed him to even talk to me.
With someone this obsessive, it's hard to say what the right thing to do is. But I think you feel distancing yourself from him is the best thing, and for you it certainly seems to be helping. Carl's responsible for handling things maturely from his end, regardless of who there is to "blame."
Way to man up to the situation. I think what you're doing is probably the best tactic.
While I feel sorry for anyone in Carl's situation (no friends, no job, no money) it is likely a situation he created with poor planning and decision making.
The game playing you've noticed in Carl is likely a borderline personality disorder or at least some traits of the disorder. Did you read the wiki article on borderlines? Carl won't be the only one you encounter. I think your sister exhibits some borderline symptoms as well.
If you encounter borderline behavior in someone you know casually, the best thing to do is pull back as gracefully as possible. They do not get better, and some can turn into dangerous stalkers. At a minimum, they are just a real pain in the ass because they live to manipulate the world around them by any means necessary. Be glad Carl lost your phone number, and has no car so he can follow you around.
You're not wrong, you're doing the right thing!
I was shaking my head reading anonymous' post. I'm no expert, but reading his email was kind of disheartening.
I know the good guy in you wants to reach back a little just because, but he's really unwound to me.
He gave you the ultimatum, hoping that you'd break I guess and when that didn't happen he's all hemmed in here and now trying to re manipulate the situation and start another round of this I guess.
Anyway, I understand your frustration, best to go with your hunch on this.
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