Regret is setting in a little...

I knew this is how it would happen. I would get a dozen calls today from Carl. Why? He wanted to go to Bingo for his birthday. I told him I could not go and told him that. He was going to guilt me into it however and make me feel bad about it.

Here's the evidence: 13 times...

... and I'm stalking GoCountry for tickets to Stagecoach, albeit unsuccessfully
- And he thought he could use his brother's cell phone and I wouldn't know it was him.
- And another thing, unless you are Gonzo, The Guy, my cousin, or another good friend, please don't call me after 10. Carl knows this.

Here's the myspace message from 8 this morning:
Since your VoiceMail SUCKS! I'll leave this message for you tody (Thursday) knowing ALL TO WELL that you will probably get this message TOMORROW and therefore It won't matter, since this has to do with TODAY!

anyway- if you get this, just want to make sure you can still go to bingo tonight. I'm not sure what my Brother is doing today, since i had to wait 20 hours to use the computer.. He might have the car this evening, meaning I have NO WAY to get there.. Was wondering if you could pick me up at 5:30pm?

Knowing you, you wont.. and if you are able to, you will show up LATE! sorry- I just know you WELL!

But if miracles do exist..

well.. call me

Here's the message from 11:15 tonight:
well, i don't really know what to say. it was Thursday night, you didn't show up for Bingo.. I called a dozen times throughout the day, you never answered and i didn't bother leaving a voicemail.

i really wanted you there tonight to share some fun with me, just like i was looking forward to Disneyland Saturday. yet again, something came up and you couldn't participate.

it's hard enough to try contacting you. Your phone still doesn't seem to work. you don't get my voicemails, you don't get texts anymore, and when i leave you myspace messages, you don't seem to get those either. i'm done trying to contact you, when the outcome is just going to be disappointment for me.

sorry if i seem like an ass, it's just that i really don't feel special to anyone anymore. i guess i'm just living a life of regrets now. when i turned 18, my birthday party was at the L.A. Sports Arena with over 500 guests. now, i'm turning 30 and it seems no one gives a fuck about me anymore.

see you whenever..


My thoughts... sorting this out in words since I tend to do that...

Sorry... I'm just venting... his birthday is Saturday and I will call him. I was willing to go to Disneyland as I've said many times before, just a different day since we have different priorities. My goal was to back off this week and not give into him since he was already wearing thin earlier this week with his myspace message and attitude. I knew he'd call a dozen times and I knew it would further annoy me. And I couldn't turn my phone off when I was texting this hottie. I was thinking of being nice the other day and taking him out for drinks or something if he wanted to go Friday night, then I could be with him at midnight on his birthday. Now, not so much. I knew I'd get all of these calls and messages from him and I don't want to be that everything for him. I don't think it was wrong I didn't pick up, even though he considered this one of his birthday celebrations and wanted me there. I will call on Saturday, but I know on Saturday he won't pick up since he is intent on trying to make me feel guilty that he is miserable. I'm not going to let him get to me.

Tempted to just write him a short and concise message: "Carl- your attitude and your apparent disrespect for things in my life has pushed me away. I understand you are going through a difficult time, and sympathize with you. Please, however, don't try to guilt me and manipulate me (excessive phone calls, etc.) to try to get me to drop what I'm doing at the drop of a pin; it just pushes me away. - Mike" Nah... I dunno... not worried...

Oh well, it is his loss. I'm off to bed and plan to sleep pretty well tonight.