Conflicted... friendship... gifts... money

Hey guys... I just got home from The Guy's house and wanted to flush this out since it has been bothering me since it happened.

Went over to his house about 6 after I went to the gym. We played Warcraft for about an hour and a half. I did pretty well today.

The Guy wanted a break about this time, so he says he is going to do a marathon cleaning of the house. His dryer just broke so he has tons of clothes laying around and is going to go buy a new dryer. He throws stuff away from the refrigerator, the floor, the counters, and other places. Then The Guy gets back to the kitchen and has his old entertainment center with a DVD player sitting on it, and his old surround sound speakers.

The Guy asks me if I wanted his speakers or entertainment center stand. I said no, we're moving out and I don't really need extra furniture, etc. The Guy then asks me if I need a DVD player. I said no, I have one at home. He says that he knows I'll be watching more DVDs at my grandma's house and stuff. Then he asks what kind and I said I had no clue. It is a Sylvania and I know it now since I'm looking at it. Then The Guy said that I definitely needed something better since I didn't remember the brand. The Guy then proceeds to hand me his Denon DVD player. A DENON... that means expensive... they're good quality though. He just bought a new $750 one, so I'm sure this one costs about that price.

I try to refuse and The Guy says no, don't worry. I said yes, I do worry. I said that I know he has spent a lot on this stuff and whatnot, so I feel bad taking it from him. I said I have no problem paying him for it and was about to walk out and get my checkbook. I told The Guy that I really felt bad about this because I know that it is such a good quality and we're not going out or anything, we're just friends. He said that's exactly it, he was hurt by the comment I made about paying him for the DVD player. He said that he doesn't like it that I said that because he likes to see friendship where if you do something for a friend, they'll do something to help you. He doesn't want our friendship to be bound by money. He wants it to be a total reciprocity thing going on- you do something for me and I'll do something for you. He doesn't want to feel bad about asking for something if he ever needs help. The thing is though, I know he has his money, his parents, AND sister's money... do I ever see him needing help in any way? No.

With my friends we don't do much other than take each other out to lunch and offer to pay for another person, etc. if they have done a favor for us, but to me this thing with The Guy seems on a different level. Maybe I'm wrong...

I will admit I haven't done much to deserve such a gift. It is not that I don't want to, but there are factors like family that prevent me from being as generous as he is. I live at home, so I don't have a place we can hang, so I can't spend my money, etc. to make food for us or have him over. I was thinking coming home that from now on I'll call him when I'm on my way over and ask if he is hungry and offer to pick something up, therefore I'll be paying for more. I have bought ice cream topping, ice cream, and 6 Aquafina water bottles in the past couple weeks just out of me being friendly. That's not a lot, I'll admit it. In comparison with The Guy he always insists on ordering takeout and having a pizza delivered etc. and then gives his credit card number, so when the food gets there I can't pay, though I try because, well I feel it is the right thing to do afterall, he is the one having me over. The Guy has even offered to pay for my gas to come over and see him, since he can't come see me. You get the idea, I don't do much, despite the fact I would like to. I did a few weeks back buy him a card that I saw at the grocery store because it did say what I wanted- "thanks for being there" and in it I thanked him for being there for me, thank you for being a friend, told him I was glad I met him, and I put a $25 iTunes gift card in there, which he tried to give me back because he felt bad taking it. I told him do not worry, I just really wanted to thank him and I did. I have also helped him set up his entertainment center, paint his kitchen, and little things like that. I am taking his coins to be cashed in at the bank since mine does it for free.

Anyways, I sat the DVD player on the counter and said I'd pick it up when I leave (and had no intention of doing that). The Guy did more cleaning and when I was in the bathroom he took my keys, went out to my car and put the DVD player in my car. I was wearing my gym shorts and they didn't have pockets so my cell phone and keys were on the counter. When he got back I just asked him if he was sure about me taking the DVD player. He said it would just get thrown out otherwise (and yes, I know with him it would). I just said that I feel bad that he has done so much for me and I've done so little. He just hugged me, which didn't make me feel all that much better. I don't want to be reliant on him. I don't want him to think I'm being a moocher and trying to get stuff off of him. I don't want him to feel like he has to do this for me. If this were a cheap $50 DVD player I might not have felt so bad.

I know he showers his other friends in gifts/does big things for them like that. He gave his friend who was staying with him a few months back storage containers for clothes that cost in excess of $100, then gave him a random $100 to help him find an apartment. The other night he was offering to buy Aaron a laptop. He lets another friend use his ATM card for gas. I never hear what his friends do for him other than little things like Aaron (I think it was) who helped him paint his cabinets in his kitchen or clean up around his house.

Well, after cleaning we played more Warcraft. Then about 9p.m. The Guy made dinner. He cooked for us... and what did he cook? Filet mignon. I didn't make a fuss that I know those are expensive even though he buys them in bulk off the internet from Amazon. They were delicious and he put a good seasoning on them.

We sit around and watch a little TV and talk about washers and dryers just because he was whining about his not working. Then we talked about a whole bunch of other random things. I was talking about things I liked in him like his looks, sense of humor, his caring nature, etc.

At 11p.m. we decided to go to Ralphs. The Guy is on a new diet where you can only eat fish, chicken, and vegetables. He bought tons of vegetables for his diet because he is going to throw them together to make broth. He bought $60 in vegetables for a diet he is going to try for a day that is supposed to cleanse the body. It was funny the manager checked us out and didn't know what half of the vegetables were, which took forever to check us out. When we got back to the condo we watched more TV, then I called it a night.

So now I'm here conflicted... what do I do? Just accept the gift, accept that it was apart of our friendship, be glad I met him? What do I do in return? I know that we have a friendship and I don't want to lose that, but I feel like I'm not giving everything I could. So now that I have this out of my system.

I do plan to send The Guy a nice e-mail tommorow and call him again to thank him. I am just going to say something along the lines of thank you for the dvd player, being so caring, how I appreciate him, but I don't know.... I'm conflicted. I guess it all boils down to the DVD player costs so much, anyways I need sleep.

What I plan to e-mail the guy...
I just wanted to say thanks again for the DVD player. I really appreciate it. Thanks for everything you do for me. I am glad that I have met you and glad that we are friends. If there is anything you ever need/want from me, please don't hesitate to ask. I enjoy hanging out with you for because you're funny, smart, sexy, totally random, and like you say you never know what will happen when you go over to your house.
Should I even do this? Is this a bit cheesy? I dunno... I'm at a loss... do I need to do all of this?