May 1-10

Thursday, May 10, 2007
Don't F with Mr. Tutor Man
Got to work this morning and went to Mr. P's class. Coworkers came right after me and asked why Mrs. V called me out yesterday to talk. I told them. Mr. P of course heard all of this. He laughed and called me "Mr. Smart Ass" again... that's his name for me since my teacher called me that last quarter. He said it's funny that I told Mrs. P off like that yesterday when I told her I was doing everything right, she just didn't see. He said that someone needs to tell her off every once and a while because it builds character. That made my day, so I had to share.2nd period with my favorite class went well. They worked on their tutorials and I tutored some kids on the Cold War. Then Mrs. C had her kids write thank you cards to 1 teacher who has had the most impact on them this year, since this week is Teacher Appreciation Week. Mrs. C ended tutorial early and the whole class took a field trip so each kid could go into their teacher's class and deliver the card. The kids loved that and the teachers did too. I love Mrs. C for all of her ideas and whatnot. She is too cool.4th period juniors... I was in the back with the other tutors and it was my turn to grade the student's questions to see they were real questions before the students got put into their groups. One kid comes in, throws the tutorial sheet for me to score at the table, doesn't give it to me like every other student had. Fine. Then he walks to his desk and he says as loud as he can, "I don't like the tutors, those idiots didn't take my paper, I fucking hate the tutors." I could have cared less, but Loud Mouth Coworker and a kid who is in the class took offense. What he did was uncalled for, but I tend to ignore it... I can deal with people "fucking" hating me. The teacher was standing outside talking to another teacher and didn't hear. Loud Mouth told him when he came in and so Loud Mouth, B, and I went outside to say what we heard and the other tutors were left in charge. We saw him come in, throw the tutorial down, then say "I fucking hate the tutors." The kid said in private to the teacher he did come in, throw it down, then went to his desk and talked to his friends about his "fucking bad day." Then when the kid was questioned in front of us, he said that he gave the tutorial to B and that was it... he didn't say "f" anything. The reason the kid fucking hates us is that the teacher told him on Monday his notebook was late because he walked in after the bell and took 5 minutes afterward to turn it in (50 points off automatically). Us tutors grade the notebook, and of course we listened to what the teacher said, so it wasn't our fault. Basically the teacher decided the kid will get a "0" on his tutorial for this week and has to apologize to us. Ok.Then 5th period the coordinator told me since I have such good organizational skills she is having me coordinate an end of the year banquet for the most improved students, highest GPA, most representative of the program I tutor for. It will be next month on the 5th. The coordinator had me go fill out the forms to reserve the MPR, the custodian plan for table setup etc, then had to get the form signed by the assistant principal. Then I had to tell the other tutors what their duties were- 1 is going to make the cards to tell the kid they're getting an award, Loud Mouth will be in charge of decorating, and then I'll also help in the decorating. The food is handled... it's going to be a potluck deal.Loud Mouth also had an idea- we're going to take a big tutor picture, then we'll give it to each teacher. Then we're going to get tutor shirts made. My coworkers like the clothing brand G-Unit, well since we're tutors we're going to get shirts made with the same sort of letter G-Unit uses and our shirts will say "T-Unit" standing for Tutor Unit. Then we'll have our name and nickname on the back. My nickname is Mr. Tutor Man.Overall good, but exhausting day... still have to get my allergy shot, go to school, then they're having a senior recognition ceremony for the seniors graduating from the program I tutor for at my college, so since I'm there I'll stop by.Hope everyone else is having a good day.
Posted by Mike at 1:41 PM 0 comments
Labels: My day, School, Work

Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Faceoff: Mike and Mrs. V
Mike went to work at 8:00 and everything was rosy. The first class Mike tutored for went well. He helped 2 kids with Algebra and Algebra II. Mike felt smart and helpful. Mike explained probability and helped teach the quadratic formula to a kid in Algebra 1. Mike did not learn the quadratic formula until Algebra II, so Mike was surprised they were learning it in Algebra 1.Then Mike went to the 2nd class. Mike got his group and began tutoring the kids in geometry. Mike had 3 students in his group and all were learning about reflection. Mike had them working on a whiteboard solving their problems. Mike looked around the classroom and kind of was a little bored, so wasn't fully engrossed in what was going on. Mrs. V walked over and pulled me over to the side to say Mike needed to control his group. Mike said he was, all 3 were participating and working, so there was no problem. Mrs. V said she didn't need attitude. Maybe 5 minutes later some random kid was out of her group Mrs. V decided. Mrs. V then told Mike he needed to monitor his group since a random student was out wandering. Mrs. V came over to Mike at the end of class and said Mike and Mrs. V need to have a talk.Mrs. V and Mike stepped outside. Mrs. V said Mike needs to can his attitude. Mike pointed out that he did not do anything wrong. Mike looked at both sides of the issue and saw how she could have thought that, but Mike knows the truth. He had a group, they were focused. They are freshmen and have short attention spans, but they were working and they were asking questions. Mike was doing everything right. Mike gave them similar follow up questions to what they were working on by creating his own problems. Mrs. V admitted she did not see that. Then Mrs. V said Mike needed to monitor his group because there was a student missing from his group. Mike pointed out that he was grading notebooks prior to the tutoring session starting, so whoever was there (the 3 kids in his group) were the 3 kids who he tutored. Mrs. V said she didn't see that, that is something she needs to work on. Mrs. V does indeed.Mike thinks Mrs. V is a good teacher and a good person, however Mrs. V has her crazy days where she goes off and gets all moody, like when it is that time of the month or something. Mike knew however, that he was in the right the whole time and that everything the coordinator thinks Mike is an angel, so if something is mentioned Mike will be alright.
Posted by Mike at 2:25 PM 0 comments
Labels: My day, Work

Ramble about best friend and 3-somes
Not sure there is any point to this post... but I'm going to go ahead and ramble.Talked to my best friend the other night for about 3 hours. He lives in Mississippi- we talk quite a bit, and when we do the relationship question usually comes up. Most of the time I either say I am not looking for anyone right now. The other day though, I wanted to tell him about The Guy without saying he was a guy.I lied and said I met a girl in my English class who seems cool.. He wanted details and I made them up and told him. He said she seemed good. Then he asked what we have done. I asked if he meant sexually or what. He basically said whatever you want to say... I said not much beyond watch movies and cuddle at her apartment. He asked what she is interested in. I said that she is really into sociology and sexuality. He thought that was interesting. So I remembered reading about Nelly Furtado, who said she believes everyone is bisexual. I basically gave the little 2 line spiel I found on this website about Chinese medicine saying this. He said "interesting."I said she also believes in sexual freedom, (which Nelly Furtado says she does believe in) that because of this, people should easily be able to experiment with either a guy or girl and whatnot. It's completely natural. I said how interesting I find this stuff. I know how to deal with my friend and I had my sociology book from last year handy that gave statistics that everyone is naturally curious about the same sex, percentage of people who experiment with the same sex, and other stuff from the chapter on sexuality. Best friend tried to tell me that no, you shouldn't have freedom to experiment cuz gay guys have diseases. I said not all... some... but there's girls running around with them too. Made him mad there.Not surprisingly my friend came back with saying how The Bible says it is wrong. My friend comes from a really conservative, Bible family. Anyways, he couldn't say much, so he used the 1st Amendment to say that this freedom is wrong since you can't do whatever you want, there has to be limitations. Then he went off giving me all these extreme examples of the importance of the 1st Amendment. So I guess if there is any point to this post is that it makes me mad that in Christianity you are not really taught how to defend your faith, you're just spoonfed everything and taught to believe, then when people have differing viewpoints it is hard to defend yourself, making you look weak and sometimes foolish. I pointed that out to my friend that one thing that makes me mad about Christianity is that you can't defend your views, you're having to rely on the 1st Amendment, which doesn't talk about sexual freedom. Made him mad, but I think he understood. He then tried to tell me he never had any thoughts about a guy... even if his size is comparable to another... stuff like that. I basically said I didn't believe that and I admitted that I had. Still, he didn't give in. We argued about that for a while and I gave statistics about sexuality from my Sociology book and said I've thought about other guys and stuff, but I mean you have to... cuz size matters, you wonder if your dick looks normal, stuff like that.Anyways, conversation went on and I mentioned the girl asked me if I would have a 3-some with one of her good guy friends. I waited a while for a response. My friend said that was soooooooo nasty. I said that well, when we haven't done anything together, I would have to get past that point first, then would consider a 3-some. My friend said that was disgusting and that sex is supposed to be between a man and woman... stuff like that. I basically said I think a 3-some would be hot... something different... adventurous... I have a wild side. My friend laughed. I said he has mentioned a 3-some before during random guy talk (he meant 2 girls and himself), but I didn't bring that up, so he is the one being a hypocrite by saying I shouldn't have one and it's basically my sex life, not his. I said he's the one who is not open to sexuality and stuff like that. I said he is the one who seems insecure since he isn't comfortable being around another male nude. I said that I am just being curious and exploring. That hushed him up. I love my friend... I can completely disagree with his views, but somehow I always manage to prove my point. He was telling me that this was wrong and I said if I never told you about me thinking about a 3-some with this girl and her guy friend, you'd never know I did it, so your view on me shouldn't change. He said basically that it's wrong and whatnot. I said that sex lives are supposed to be private, but since we're good friends and we can talk about our relationships and thoughts like that, stuff does come out.My friend then ended up by saying he can see why I like/find this girl interesting... she's completely out of the ordinary. He said she seems insecure with herself creating all these weird ideas about freedom and sexual freedom, but he would support me having a relationship with her. He said he sees that I am interested because her sexuality conversations are providing the "spark" needed in a relationship, keeping it new.By the time we were off the phone, it was like 12:30a.m. and I was saying I had to go since I had to be up early, which I did. I made it clear that the girl and I weren't going out, we're just talking, talking a lot about sexuality, I haven't had a 3-some, stuff like that. This was a huge hint though, toward I'm thinking about guys though. I feel that it was safe to go this far with him... I've hinted many times before... but this was just another time.The whole story I told him was a lie for the mostpart, but it did serve a purpose... maybe make him a little less critical of bisexuality/being gay. I can say I decided to not pursue the girl... or I can say that I did... but we don't do much except chill at her apartment and make out, then hang out at other random places. I don't know... I can say I realized we had no chemistry or I wasn't interested in her. But I thought this conversation was important/necessary to at least make him aware... so yeah... we'll see. I have no plans of coming out and saying I'm gay/bisexual to the friend, mainly because there would probably be a temporary rift in our friendship, but also if I came out to just him, his family and my family would soon come out... I consider this whole conversation just opening him up to the ideas of sexuality and whatnot as important and just a little step to introduce the topic.
Posted by Mike at 8:55 AM 0 comments
Labels: Rants, Sex and religion, Thoughts

Tuesday, May 8, 2007
The Guy's birthday
Tommorow is The Guy's birthday I just found out by talking to him online. I, of course wished him a happy birthday in advance. Then I asked if he had any plans... he said no. He said he probably will find something, but may call me. I know this was kind of possibly a huge hint... should I call him up/take him out to dinner? What should I do? We have a friendship thing going on... not relationship... but still... whatever... just looking for someone's input. Call and take him out to dinner or what?Update: He said he was signing off and how sad he was to get older. I said something to the effect of getting older can't be that bad, and if you're free, go ahead and give me a call, and I'll take you out. He said to Target. We'll see...
Posted by Mike at 9:30 PM 0 comments
Labels: Guys

Posted by Mike at 6:56 PM 1 comments
Party at work
In one of the classes I tutor, we had a multicultural foods day (it's the only way you can have a party, since everything has to be educational). One of the goals of the class I tutor for is to promote diversity and so this works. The class that had this party is one of my favorite classes since their teacher is so hard on them, but pushes them in a good way. Also, the kids are so diverse, the teacher forces them all to help each other and work together... the class acts like a big family... no kidding. Now about the food...The teacher brought her mom's abondigas. Loud Mouth Tutor brought dumplings, B brought fried rice with shrimp, I brought my grandma's molasses oatmeal raisin cookies. We had to stand up and tell the significance of our dishes. Mine is family tradition... we make these every Christmas, and only at Christmas, today was definitely an exception. They're sooooo good... especially with raisins :-) I made 8 dozen and spent a good 3 hours baking... 4 for home and 4 for the party. All 4 dozen for the party were gone and I think at least 1 dozen here at home are gone. Last night was definitely not the night to bake (it was 85 out at 10p.m.)So what did some of the kids bring? One kid brought his grandma's lemonade made with lemons, cherries, and lime. Essentially fruit punch, but it tasted more lemony. A couple kids brought jello/fruit salads. One kid made cream vinicenne (sp?). The kid I blogged about getting him roses to ask a girl out for prom brought his grandma's salsa, which HE made. He is a total flirt and impressed all the girls and caused everyone to say aaaaaaaaaw when he said he made it. The salsa was too spicy for my gringo tastes, but it has a good flavor and lots of veggies in it (cilantro, squash, onions, green pepper, tomato, and some other peppers). It was good though. One girl brought a salsa her family makes with nacho cheese and cream cheese. It was good... not as spicy as typical nacho sauce. 2 kids brought German chocolate cakes. One girl brought chicken enchiladas that reminded me of the Indiana Mexican food I had last summer... leave it to Californian's for Mexican food... I'm sorry. There were a lot of indian dishes like a rice milk deal, a spicy sauce for dipping tortilla chips or bread in and there were more. One girl brought ice cream her grandma makes and sells in her store in Honduras... it had a special name I don't recall, but it was yummy. It was a good experience overall... I LOVE trying foods from different places. Some I liked a lot better than others, but it was good. My favorite of the day was either the abondigas (I've had it many times before), the ice cream, and the vinicenne... haven't had that in years since my grandma made for Thanksgiving.And it is HOT here in So Cal today. Rachel Boesing said it would be 97 today and here's a look at my car's thermometer at 4:15p.m. on my way home from school...
Posted by Mike at 4:43 PM 0 comments
Labels: My day, Thoughts, Weather, Work

Monday, May 7, 2007
Guess what I wore to the gym...?
Drum roll.... dun dun dun... SHORTS... I don't wear shorts... it's not really that I'm uncomfortable with my body, it's mainly that I don't like shorts. I don't think they look good on me at times... but also I get cold easily... even in the summer at times. I am a pants person by far... lol. The Guy says I should wear more shorts because I do have very sexy legs and whatnot... so we'll see. I did buy 3 pair for this summer, so I guess I'll wear them.
Posted by Mike at 7:57 PM 1 comments
Labels: clothing, Gym, My day

VA Gun law and sunny weather
My mom called her aunt in Virginia the other night after she called us trying to reach my grandma. They talked for over 3 hours. My mom's aunt said that since the Virginia Tech shooting it came out that anyone can be in possession of a gun as long as there is a permit for it in Virginia. So kids as young as 13 are carrying guns everywhere they go... to the mall... out to eat... the movies... out shopping. ANYTHING!!! My mom's aunt was worried and she has every right to be that something worse will happen since this is going on since a kid might not know how to use a gun,might use a gun for some small reason when someone makes them mad, whoknows! My aunt said that it is obvious they're carrying guns... in theirpants... pockets... purses... that's scary!!! The police can't do anything my aunt said. Just thought I'd share... VA really needs to do something.On another note Friday it was 67 degrees and foggy in the morning, Saturday it was 85, Sunday it was 90 and a little windy, and today it was BEAUTIFUL and 94. It is hot though... I like the 70s and 80s. I've actually put the a/c on in the car... usually if it is less than 80s I roll my windows down cuz I like the breeze, but anytime it is above 80 the a/c goes on. I have a feeling the a/c in my bedroom will go on before the night is done.
Posted by Mike at 4:55 PM 0 comments
Labels: family, Rants, Thoughts, Weather

Sunday, May 6, 2007
Two weeks... at least...
Got a call at 9:50a.m.... not 10 minutes after I made my previous post and about 30 minutes since I'd last talked to The Guy. Anyways got a call from the guy today saying if we want to hang out, we have to do it between now and 3p.m. He got a call from a good friend of his who lost his lease on his apartment, so is moving in with The Guy temporarily. The Guy is hoping 2 weeks max. so we can continue to hang out. He doesn't want to hang out with the friend around since it would be awkward. Hopefully his friend finds a new apartment soon. Anyways, got dressed and went over to his place. We watched "Spanglish" on the couch. It was good. The Guy needed me to translate it into English for him (since I am a Spanish minor... heh). As we were sitting onto the couch next to each other I put my arms around him and scooted over a little and gently pushed him down to my crotch area. I did it gradually though... he had his head on my chest for a few moments and then decided to make his way down there. He opened up my fly and pulled my dick out. It was hot to sit there watching the movie and have him sucking me. Before we made it to the bedroom, he had to play with my dick and say "hi, I'm Mike's penis... I'm really hard... someone needs to suck me..." stuff like that and it was cute/funny. Went to the bedroom a few minutes later and sucked each other. Took a shower and there was lots of making out in the shower. I stood up against him a couple times sucking on his ear and kissing his neck. He reciprocated after I did it. It was hot... steamy!!! So afterward we went back to the couch and watched more "Spanglish" and some other movie. We sat at opposite ends of the couch and I played with his legs and he played with mine. I hope these next few weeks pass quickly... hope his friend finds a place soon.
Posted by Mike at 5:57 PM 0 comments
Labels: Guys, My day

Relationship thoughts from a Saturday night
Spent last night... a Saturday night at home. How depressing. Really, after my past few wild weeks, it was depressing. I wanted to go out somewhere, anywhere. I didn't even whip out any homework. No, I sat at home on my bed and watched "Crash" and "Armageddon." All my friends were busy studying for midterms... they suck. My coworkers (friends) all have midterms this next week for their science classes. The majority of them are science majors and are studying nonstop. Yay for English/humanities majors who actually have a life. It was so hard to convince my coworker D, to go out Friday night even just for coffee. I was a bitch about it and I gave her a guilt trip. I did feel very lonely laying on my bed with nobody to hold me or anyone else to next to me. So anyways, I was thinking as I was sitting there how I really like the attention and being with a guy. I have said many times before my 2 previous relationships with girls were close friends, and we didn't go much beyond making out. It was fine and dandy at the time, but just the whole making out thing it was so different than with The Guy. He is a VERY sloppy kisser, but I just feel more like it is good making out... he wants me to be satisfied and I want him to be also. I didn't get that with the 2 prevous relats. Maybe my previous 2 relationships were also not as great because they were "high school/early college relationships," so our parents were there and it was not like we could go into a real private place like a bedroom or something to make out, be serious, and do it well. Maybe it's that my 2 previous relationships were with friends, therefore it wasn't as serious, plus we didn't want to end up hurting each other and wrecking our friendships and friendships with friends, which I'll admit were all reasons. But in contrast, with the guy, even the random making out and just that he seems to care more about my body/seems more interested in it, I guess you can say, I like a whole lot better... the attention. With The Guy, we're defining it as a friendship, but you know we both want the sexual benefits, so that's all good.I also like the attention/concern that the guy gives me. No- I'm not trying to make myself sound like I am needing tons of attention or anything- I'm not and don't. I'm just saying that he makes me feel good about myself and he seems/is interested in me enough that we can talk and I like that and that he listens, that makes me feel good. I had this in the previous 2 relationships, but I guess to be able to talk about stuff like my sexuality is the real draw.Of course the oral and other stuff is great. I can't say much more... he says I'm great at giving head. I'm happy that he thinks that and that's a huge turn on for me that he thinks I'm good at it. He's great too.I guess what all of this is leading me to is that I want a relationship because I like being able to have someone to talk to, I like feeling wanted, I like having someone to hang out with. Do I have any potential candidates? No. I think right now I'd like to continue to explore guys- mainly because I do feel that sexually I'm more attracted to guys. Ok, excuse me for saying this, but for me to be attracted to girls they must meet the following criteria... good personality, intelligent, nice face, big chest. Both of my ex's met that criteria. I like the conversation and stuff like that with girls, it just comes so easily as opposed to how it is sometimes awkward with guys, but I guess it's cuz girls are usually always genuinely concerned or listen, or maybe I feel that way since I am around my coworkers so much. But even though I've never gone much beyond making out with a girl, I just feel that I have time and I can look to girls later. There aren't many that I'd consider date material... maybe the girl from Oklahoma in my sports journalism class? We did have smoothies together the other day after class. The conversation was constant and stuff like I like. I guess my thing with girls and I'm realizing this more and more lately is that to me some girls, like the girl from Oklahoma are just soooo sweet that I don't feel like I'm worthy or they're worthy for me because well guys turn me on too, so I'd maybe break up over a frivolous reason and don't want to hurt them. Maybe it's just me being overly sympathetic and making me sound like a worrier or not wanting to take chances... Whatever. I stll want to explore girls and go farther... I am sure I will... but I mean for now I'm happy.I do feel however, right now, I have a great guy I can talk to, then enjoy his added benefits like I mentioned above, so while I have NOOOOOO plans of a relationship with him (since I don't want to come out and stuff like that now, plus he says he's perfectly content on the friendship level and I am too). I can explore sexually, but also have someone who is smart and intelligent. I also don't get the vibe with him that I may hurt him or something like that, like I do with a girl. I think a lot of it has to do with a girl and me worrying about hurting them because I decide to go after a guy or whatever. Maybe it's because we are agreeing that we're just friends. I know rihgt now I'm not ready to pursue a relationship with a guy. I like The Guy a lot, don't get me wrong, but I know with family drama going on right now, to come out would be hell. When I have a hard time telling my parents I'm dating a girl, for me to say a guy, that would be 100x more difficult. I still want to pursue women, but rihgt now I'm happy with The Guy and the way things are. I like the random hanging out- I mean hanging out like friends do, stuff like that, and with a guy, it's great. I really do need more guy friends to hang around... 8 girls at work... it's difficult, so The Guy is really welcome in this aspect. Just talked to him this morning and it looks like my Sunday night will be more exciting.
Posted by Mike at 9:42 AM 1 comments
Labels: Guys, Thoughts

Saturday, May 5, 2007
Time to introduce my coworkers
I want to hang out with my coworkers more, but it is so hard. Nobody wants to hang out like just 2 of us... it always has to be a group affair and that never works. We are all busy and hae such different schedules. I seem to have the least busy schedule out of all of them, which is surprising, since I'm a busy person. I guess my plans are always more flexible. Anyways, I went out shopping with my coworker D last night, but we were talking about all of our coworkers and sharing random gossip, so I thought I'd introduce all my coworkers. D and I mainly talked about everyone's schedules.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Loud Mouth Coworker isn't someone I'd call up to hang out with, unless we hung out as a group with the other tutors. She, like me, has no curfew as long as we tell our parents what is going on, but I don't really want to hang out with her unless it is in a group setting. We do get along great when it is just us at work. In fact, so great most people think we're going out. We are very flirty when we're together and we're completely opposite... she has a boyfriend and they've been going out 5 years.Gonzo is one of my best friends, but she works 2 jobs, goes to school full time, so is rarely free, plus her parents are protective of her. When she is not hanging out, she is with her boyfriend, even though she says I'm more like her boyfriend. Her b/f is the guy who messaged me on craigslist. She can't stay out past 10. The only time we hang out outside of work is when we set a date to go to IHOP and eat/talk/gossip and we try for that once a month.D is best friends with G, and doesn't like to hang out unless G hangs out. D is always busy with school. D is always at school. D is a biochem major so is always busy. D is taking 4 science classes including Organic Chem (the hardest Chem class this quarter) and all 4 of her classes have labs. D also has a hard time getting away from her overprotective parents. Her parents are more overprotective than G's and less trusting. She has an 8p.m. curfew.B & I are both Asian, both girls, their parents won't let them out of the house unless it is to study or go to school, or work. They can't hang out at night unlike my other coworkers because "they're girls and don't have penises," so they can't protect themselves. I's parents are even stricter than B's, so she never hangs out with us.Dee & N, the lesbian lovers as we call them, since they can't be separated. They're new to the group this year, but they are never available when we all are, they always have "relationship" problems (the other isn't free) and so can't hang out. They are premanently attached to each other. I am not kidding... at work they both have a hard time functioning alone.A is rarely at work, but when she is, she is cool to talk to and work with. She is taking 22 units to graduate this year! She can never decide if she wants to stay in a relationship or not. She is ALWAYS busy!!!It bothers me because they're over 18, they should have some freedom... more freedom. I sometimes make it sound like I don't, but I do... I know how to work my parents to get the freedom I want... even if it is a lie sometimes, but I see that it's something I need to do. Now, though as I have mentioned, my dad wants me to just say what I'm going to do, and that'll be it. If only I had someone to do something with or go somewhere with, then I might try my dad's advice and tell my mom exactly where I'm going as a part of my freedom.They're part of the reason I never have anyone to hang out with or do anything with in the evenings. It's also hard because when we all hang out, everyone else wants to hang out as a group, whereas I could care less. I tell them that we don't have to hang out together, but it does no good. Another thing is I'd rather hang out with more guys... that's another problem... I'm glad I met The Guy though.
Posted by Mike at 4:25 PM 0 comments
Labels: Rants, Thoughts, Work

rge or too small. I said definitely smaller cuz you want them to look good and form fitting... not like a pair of shorts. Then as for the type I have never wore silk, but would imagine they're good if you feel sexy and have someone to show off to. She suggested that all my coworkers buy me some silk boxers so I can have that sexy feeling. I said that cotton are kind of uncomfortable sometimes, but I have some of those, and I think they look better than the knit sometimes. Then I also have some knit and they're comfortable. Just don't buy boxers that are too big. For once I got to talk about men's clothes... not their clothes and they all had to listen. It's good to know that I'm good for something.We talked about boxer briefs and Loud Mouth isn't a fan of those since she thinks they look like Spandex for men. I was going to suggest her check out 2xist boxer briefs or trunks since those are pretty hot looking, but I didn't want to look like I knew too much about that subject as I do have to play the straight card at work. There were other conversation highlights... she and other coworkers asked what type of underwear I've worn (I just said boxers, boxer briefs and briefs... but that's a lie... but I wasn't going to tell them... I have to keep some things private)... what I would wear... what I would buy... whether or not I'd wear a thong... briefs... boxer briefs... bikini briefs... string bikinis... jockstrap... colors of underwear I like... what the other coworkers like on a guy... would I ever take photos of me just in my underwear... would I take sex pics of myself and someone else... how sexy underwear is... how much we'd pay for a pair of underwear... the most we've spent on a pair of underwear... the conversation got pretty intense and steamy... I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it. I'm sure there was lots of blushing on my part. I was really hard after that conversation... unfortunately I still had 3 hours of work. I did try to turn the tables and ask them what they wore, but I was bombarded by questions, but all in all some good conversation.So in summation I wear boxers and boxer briefs most of the time... briefs upon occasion... so now you're up to date... heh.So I'm just curious... you can comment or comment anonymously if you want... what's sexier on a guy... boxers, briefs, boxer briefs, thongs, string bikinis, etc.
Posted by Mike at 1:23 PM 1 comments
Labels: My day, Work

Wednesday, May 2, 2007
My plastic surgeon isn't this hot...
Guys also don't show off in the shower at my gym like this.
Posted by Mike at 6:03 PM 2 comments
Labels: Guys

Dr. Laura, Gonzo, and my sister
My coworker, Gonzo and I went out to lunch the other day. Gonzo drove. Gonzo listens to Dr. Laura (even though I only thought old women did). Anyways, Laura was on the radio.. I can't stand Dr. Laura, but Gonzo thinks she is a goddess. I disagree with a lot about Laura's past I've heard about and she's trying to tell others how to live their lives? Dr. Laura was taking a call from a man calling to nag about his wife who leaves her keys everywhere and this has hurt him a lot since she loses her keys at work, he has to come pick her up, she goes shopping, loses her keys, stuff like that. That woman would bother me. Dr. Laura basically said nobody is perfect. There was a woman who had a man who would leave his socks everywhere, then one day he died, the woman always nagged him to pick up the socks, then after he died, the woman was lost and went around trying to pick up socks not there because she loved the man and missed him, even though that bothered her so much. Value that the wife leaves their keys around and loses them... if they're missing and they're at home, you at least know she is at home and safe. For the sock lady, value that the husband leaves his socks around because it means that he is at home and safe.Gonzo said even though I complain to her about my sister and the annoying things she does like sits around doing nothing, if my sister were to die I would miss that. Gonzo asked if Dr. Laura was right (and Gonzo obviously thought she was). Gonzo's asking if my sister were to die, if I woiuld miss the annoying things about my sister and other things that I complained about. That seemed like a fair question. I was quiet for a few minutes and thought about it. Would I really miss my sister? What would my life be like without her? Would I miss the constantly nagging my sister to tell her to do something? I put great thought into what Gonzo asked and was being completely serious. Really, I don't think I would miss that or any other thing that my sister does. It hurts me that my sister sits around doing nothing and is missing out on tons of opportunities, that she disagrees with everyone and alienates herself, that she lies constantly, that she has no responsibility. Would I miss that? No. I may take heat on here for saying something so cruel, but I really can't imagine that happening. I do so much around the house to compensate for my sister- not because I have to, but I like to be helpful. I guess I like to look like I'm doing something and when compared to my sister I sound like I do everything. I get praise for it, but I am almost positive I'd continue to receive that praise even if my sister were not here. I'm not trying to say I'm perfect or anything, because I'm not. I would still do the same stuff I do even if my sister were not here.Do I get pleasure out of telling my sister everything that she does wrong and everything that she does that irritates me and how irresponsible she is? No. Would I miss telling her that? No. I don't like to demean people. I don't try to demean her- I want her to become a better person, which she really doesn't want to be it seems. I point this out everytime I tell her. I tell her I'm hard on her and why, as much as I don't like to. She is perfectly content being 2 years old. It takes demeaning my sister and yelling at her for any action, and even the results last a day or two. It is draining to tell my sister EVERYTHING she does wrong. I feel very bad about it.Honestly I would be content without my sister being here. I'm not saying dead, because that is awful and I would never wish that upon anyone. For the sake of this, I am saying away at college, something like that, since to me, that is essentially her not being here, and that could happen in the future. If my sister were to die, which I'm not advocating or suggesting... if she were to go away to college I'm saying I don't think I would feel a void in my life. My sister has so little interaction with everyone else, so it's not like I would feel a loss there. Taking my sister everywhere... well I haven't missed picking her up at night. In fact I enjoy not having to drive a little out of my way to pick her up at school, I don't miss the constant complaints about my music. Would I miss arguing about where we're going to eat or what we can eat? No. I love trying new foods, which is something I can't do with my sister. I don't enjoy her arguing and her babyness. I just don't. I'm not a preschool teacher. When my sister isn't with my parents and I when we're out, and we eat, I always enjoy it and everyone seems so much happier not having to argue with my sister. I'm not trying to sound very cruel by saying this, but I really couldn't think how I would miss my sister. I felt bad telling Gonzo that. Gonzo was shocked, but I told her everything I said above and she tried to tell me that I was so mean hearted. I said no- I want my sister to be a better person, I've pointed out and scolded her telling her how to be more productive and responsible and everything... she hasn't embraced the advice. It took more convincing, but I think Gonzo soon got my point. I have done everything I can. My sister has to want to change. I don't see her wanting to change. I am not being a mean person when I say this and no I wouldn't miss her. I have tried everything to help my sister, but she has to want to change and I don't like helping her try to change when she is so resistant. I have done all I can to separate myself from my sister like not picking her up from school, trying to not let everything she does bother me. I'm doing a good job at alienating myself, but the anger still remains from the fact she doesn't want to change and that hurts me, especially since I'm separating myself so much from her, yet everything she does still has an effect on me- a negative one at that. I am always much happier when my sister isn't around. It's been great not taking her to school, picking her up, anything. I know this is pretty heavy, but I wanted to get it off my chest since I've been thinking about it a lot since Gonzo brought this up. It's VERY hard for me to admit that I love my sister, but I'm just saying I'm better off without her. I am better off not having to tell her what to do- be on top of her constantly... just not caring about what she does... if she screws up... it's her fault.
Posted by Mike at 2:27 PM 0 comments
Labels: Sister, Thoughts

Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Keeping it from the parents and my going out
I've been thinking a lot about The Guy and whatnot and how much longer I can keep this relationship/friendship from my parents. I have been going out so much lately (4 nights last week I got home from seeing him at midnight or later). I've gone out more since Easter than I have in all of college I think... NO JOKE... I have had valid sounding excuses, but it is not like the excuses can continue. I am really running out of ideas. Being gone 3-4 nights a week is difficult. I do suddenly have quite the social calendar going according to my coworker Gonzo (I've been telling her about going out all the time- just not with who). I went out on a whim last night and saw him for a couple hours. I did get home at a reasonable time (10:30p.m.). I lied and told my parents Gonzo and I went to the gym, then McDonalds. The make out and oral made the trip worth it. There was a funny moment last night- some random show with Toby Mcguire was on where he was killing an anteater after it got ran over. He stood over it with a rock, then killed it. As he was getting ready to kill it, The Guy couldn't take it, he was hiding his eyes in my shoulder, screaming, getting squeamish. He asked what happened as I was watching, so i told him. But right after the scene I started tickling him, which scared him apparently and he began screaming. Good times.I know I like The Guy- as a friend, I'm not letting myself fall for him like that because of the fact I don't want to come out to my parents and stuff like that. Also, as Daninokc made me realize and I've been thinking about since I commented last night I am nitpicking for reasons I can't like him, but I'd like to think I'm using it as a defense mechanism to not fall for him. I am resisting somewhat in falling for him because I'm not out, but also because I don't want to get swept up in realizing I like a guy just because he is a guy and he's one of the few guys I've met. So here's the nitpicking... his spending habits annoy me. I could never do that and I don't agree with being in debt. He may brag that the gay guy thing to do is spend wildly like he does, but my logical head and my thrifty habits tell me otherwise. Sure it'd be nice to have all the stuff he does, but I don't want the debt that comes with it. So why do I like him as a friend? He is funny... like with the whole anteater scene above. There are other things that make him funny. He is intelligent... he's a grad student. He is caring. He wants to know that I'm pleased and listens. He's a guy... that's reason enough. I have pointed out before, the majority of my interaction is with females... I work with 8... I need more guys. The oral and makeout is good. I like that he understands my situation how hard it is to come out to my parents at this time, how I'm not sure about when to come out, and he accepts that. I really admire that in him, especially since many guys wouldnn't. I also like how he has that guy side to him... the kick back attitude toward everything. I can't lie to my parents and say I have a girlfriend or something and so that's why I'm going out so much. My parents kind of knew about my first g/f... the girl went 2 prom with... the 2nd not so much. I'm not going to say I'm going out with someone when I'm not. I have a couple excuses for this week- study sessions for a midterm on Friday at a girl's apartment in my class over near where The Guy lives. I'm kind of not sure how to announce to my parents I have a relationship going if it were to come to that point. I don't think it will in the near future, though. Even with a girl I feel kind of awkward telling them I'm going out with someone... they just found out about my prom date when I said I was going. Then the other girl we suddenly decided we were dating over lunch, then that was that. I just told my parents when I was with her that I was going down to San Diego to hang with friends. It was long distance, so it didn't get real serioius, plus it was a short relationship.It's obvious The Guy and I have a thing going, even if it is just a friendship, but seeing him is becoming increasingly difficult cuz I'm running out of excuses. I have basically told him I can only do it once or twice a week. In a way I want to just come out, but I know that it is not the time, especially with all the family stuff going on and how my parents reacted to my cousin, the porn star being a lesbian. I can't hide it from myself I like guys, but I mean I don't want to come out on an impulse and regret it. I'm over 18, but i mean it's the lying to my parents constantly is the hard part. Perhpas the relatiosnhip I have with my parents is a curse where basically as long as I tell them where I'm going and when I'll be back is a curse. I have liked it up until now, because when I'm with the guy, I'm never sure how late I'll be out.I have lied in the past about where I'm going, but it's hard to come up with a lie every night. Already I've been out til midnight or later many nights. I could call, but when it's 1:00a.m. I don't think my parenst want a phone call to say I'm going to be late, then if I were to do that constantly, they'd certainly question where I was and what I was doing. I do like how I can tell them where I'm going and when I'll be back I guess, though I said i just didn't. But I mean to constantly be making up excuses about where I'm going is the tough thing. I also can't say I'm going to the guy's place... I could never say that... especially when I'm trying to hide my sexuality. I am not sure I'd be comfortable in saying a girl form my college. Maybe I should say from now on I met a girl at my college and we're going out or at least I'm interested in her. But then I'd have to produce a girl and bring her home to meet my parents eventually- I don't want to use a girl for that. I also am sure me being out late with a girl and whatnot they'd expect sexual things are happening, which I don't want either. Going to "Gameworks" every Friday night has actually worked as a pretty good excuse since it is about 10 miles from The Guy's house. They have a special that night, but also I lied and said my friends from a local college go to Gameworks there every Friday night and invited me to go, so that will now be a Friday night ritual and I can see The Guy then, but I mean what can I do? Never did I think that I'd meet someone on craigslist and someone who I can talk to in person and tell this stuff to, but also got friendship, which i've been looking for. I'm thankful for it, yet it is becoming a curse- the lying part. The friendship part- great.I also don't know where to go next in our friendship. The Guy's idea is come over to his place since we can't go to my house because of my parents. Anyways, I'm not sure where our relationship is going. I don't mind going out in public with him, I think I'd even be fine in public since he doesn't seem to display much affection in public (in the car, yes), but public, no. I think maybe it's because I'm not out, but fine.Not sure if this makes any sennse, but whatever.
Posted by Mike at 8:12 AM 0 comments
Labels: Guys, My day, Sex and religion, Thoughts