Reciprocity and other friendship topics

I was supposed to hang out with The Guy on Thursday, but he just texted me asking if we could do Friday. He was having a bad day yesterday. Josh. I texted him today to make sure Friday was a good day. He said it was. I went to my doctor's appointment for the prepping for my appointment for next week. After I went to my mom's school to help her get her room ready.

When I got there his new car was nowhere to be seen. His old car was there. I thought I got there before him, perhaps he was still at work. I try to open the door and then knock. He comes and opens it. He told me he got a massage earlier, he was in pain due to his intense workouts, and his car was in the shop getting a new stereo system put in. He asked how I was. I was at the point of just needing to vent. I told him about my headaches and how bad they had gotten. The doctors just recommended I try air filters in my room. He said I should take one of his air filters and see if it helps. I asked if he was serious (I knew he was) and he said so. He asked if I wanted lunch, the pasta he made last night with steak. He warmed it up on the stove.

While sitting down eating I told him about going over to my mom's room and showed pictures I snapped on my phone. He was quite disappointed that for the technology in her room it cost that much. He said the principal must be lying, and he was sure of it. We talked a little bit more about my headaches. We played some WOW with his friend Mike. It was mainly me being a level 80 shaman and standing around doing that. He played a healer. Mike was the tanker I think. We did this for probably 30 minutes until one of his best friends Jenn called. She has been friends with him since high school. They chatted for a while about Josh, how Josh is so scared of losing his masculinity, stuff like that... basically the stories he hadn't got around to telling me. I had probably drank 2 glasses of water to avoid coughing so much while he was on the phone. Afterward I asked him if he had Benadryl laying around since I needed something else to keep me dry. He said no, but we'd go get something. He signed off and we got in my car to go to CVS. I look at their poor selection of meds. I pick one up that I found that I didn't really want. Turns out Alavert was at the counter, and he told me that. I am paying and he brings up 2 tubes of toothpaste that I was willing to pay for, but he insisted on paying for. In the car we sing Coldplay's "Viva La Vida" when it came on the radio and he sang Lady Gaga's "Love Game." I only sang the parts of "Love Game" I knew (I wanna take a ride on your disco stick). He wasn't scrolling through his phone or anything in the car, which was unusual. Instead he asked me about my doctor's appointments and what was going on with me.

We get back, play more, then he gets a call his car is kind of, sort of ready. We head down there and he gives me a couple of great complements- first that I have really changed in the past 6 months or so as a person. I am much more optimistic and I don't seem to think everything is the end all like I had grown to. The therapy has helped. He also tells me his mom had a year and a half sinus infection and is just now being treated. About this time we get to the stereo place. His car was completely taken apart. He is getting a $5,000 audio system put in his new ride linked to his factory navigation and stereo that is already in it, just upgraded $2,000 speakers, amps, subwoofer, and Bluetooth. We spent some time standing around looking, looking at the brochures to make sure his install would be smooth, talking to the guys working. They take about 45 minutes to put his car back together. The Guy asks what it would cost to have Sirius/XM put in my car through the factory stereo because he's asked about whether I had it and how much I need it everytime he has been in my car. I'm curious, so I pushed him to ask. It'd be about $400-600. His car is somewhat put together, but needs to go back in Monday for the Bluetooth and audio installation. He only had the new speakers in as of today.

We get back and I get my first chance to sit in his new car. He has the radio up as high as it will go and the speakers sounded awesome. I know that since I have known him I listen to things differently and notice things like good audio/good speakers. It is crazy. We go in the house and his dog got out of the bedroom and drank the chocolate milkshakes he made after we went to CVS. Forgot to mention that detail earlier. Good banana and chocolate shake with protein powder, Omega 3s, veggie supplement, and other stuff. We go in the office, however, where he uploads photos for a friend to a website. Then we talk about stuff like Josh, hot guys, and random stuff. He also goes onto facebook and is playing around on there. I realize he is not a facebook friend of mine since I don't recall seeing his status updates or anything. I log onto facebook on my phone to friend him and realize he sent me a request, but I never accepted. I told him that I didn't realize that, how strange that was, and accepted him. We laugh about that. We go back out to his car and listen to the stereo. He programs in his radio stations (KROQ 106.7, KBIG 104.3, KOST 103.5, KIIS 102.7, and KFROG 95.1). KOST was in the midst of Lovesongs on the KOST and playing sappy music like Kelly Clarkson's "A Moment Like This," and both of us were practically in tears for no real reason, it was very weird. I told him how I want to go see her at the OC Fair, and how that was the only idol he cared about. He had his fix he deemed after a few more minutes, so we went in.

The Guy cleans up his dog's mess in the kitchen, then we go out to the jacuzzi. Outside he unloads talking about all the stuff he told Jenn on the phone, how he is trying to back off monetarily from Josh and not be his support like that, how he is struggling so hard. Last night he told Josh he was making dinner in a text. Josh texted back something like "cool." He was hoping for Josh to say like "great, can I come over?" or "sounds good." The Guy finally asked him if he wanted to come over. What he wants Josh to do so badly is to offer and say he'll come over and stop separating his straight and gay life. We talked about his masculinity, how Josh is so scared, how Jenn and Mike are being recruited by The Guy to help talk. We talked about the reason I'm not- and he didn't mean anything bad, but last summer when I was at my low The Guy used Josh to unload and tell him about all my problems, so Josh is skeptical of me. I wasn't hurt. I knew that, actually, and told The Guy. The Guy and I talked about therapy and how we he gets different viewpoints from that, and I get acceptance from therapy and just accepting things like they are. I told him how he had sort of a caveat last summer when he asked me to go. He was worried he gave me an ultimatum and I said no, just how we weren't going to be as close sexually, and stuff like that, but he couldn't do anything more for me, and asked me to go. I told him how that was what he did to me, and said he should do that with Josh. I told him my biggest fear was losing him. We talked about our friendship. The Guy hasn't had sex in 3 months, which is hard for him. We talked about how he told me things like he couldn't have a boyfriend, couldn't be with me, yet all the elements of a relationship were there, and I talked about how it was for me being newly out, how he was so supportive, and I was clinging to him. He said he was happy about our friendship and how it had changed because he feels it is stronger, and the sex made things sort of difficult at times. He said he hoped I felt our relationship was better. I had a hard time responding because I was on the verge of tears as I was talking about how difficult the year, or past 2 years have been.

I wanted to reaffirm to him that everything was ok on the way home. I sent him a text how even though he is so easy to talk to I had a hard time responding when we were out by the jacuzzi. I wanted him to know the sex was great, but there is so much more I value him for including his love, humor, support, and knowledge. He sent me a text back thanking him and we texted about things we do for each other. I specifically thanked him for helping me with the computer, then giving me the air purifier to try. I also said I wanted to make a meal for him to thank him since he's done a lot for me lately, and I haven't really reciprocated. We talked about how our friendship varies from him and Josh's, which is hardly a good example, but it has always been built on reciprocity. I have never cooked a meal for him, and I have a new favorite pasta, and I think it would be fun.

I logged onto the manufacturer's website and found out that the 3 bars on the right mean there are lots of negative ions in the air in my room. It is not just red, but it went straight to the orange zone! Gasp! And that's with my old Honeywell running 24 hours a day for the past week and some.

I MISSED HER

RACHEL BOESING IS BACK ON THE INTERNET!
I missed watching her on Today in LA and her giving the weather.
I caught her on the radio about 6 months ago on MYFM doing some public service announcement for a student travel company on one of those public service programs MYFM 104.3 has about 10:00p.m. on Sunday nights.
She has resurfaced on the twitter tv program on the internet "Lipstick and Coffee."
Missed her.
She'd make a great weatherperson on any of the LA stations. Hint, hint.


I can't say I am a fan of the new hair, but she still looks quite good!

Now I no longer watch Today in LA in the morning and haven't since she left. Chris Schauble and Jennifer Bjorklund get on my nerves quickly. Elita Lorezca looks like a bimbo. But I'm glad to see Rachel Boesing back.


Elita doesn't do it for me.

This is how I spend much of my time browsing the net

Just one of my many peeves with AT&T- the constant yellow page saying I've been disconnected, yet the lovely router is still all lit up. Do plan on calling AT&T to have them back out here. I think it is more than just the router, but what do I know, I only troubleshoot the thing. Personally I think there is a problem with the DSL lines in addition to the router.

Solving Cali's budget problems

She is too much!!!
I love her thinking.
She may know more than the governator.

Feeling like a million dollars

Now I know what it feels like to have tons of comps at the casino.

My mom, dad, and I met Linda at the casino for Bingo, slots, and the slot tournament Linda was playing in tonight. We got there before Linda, so we were in the Bingo hall already seated. Linda paid her buy in and got comps put on her card. Then she started up playing. About the 18th game my mom got Bingo. Very amusing. She said BINGO so innocently in this large concert hall. She got a horizontal bingo and got $150. There were a few times my dad and I came close to bingo, but we didn't get it. It was $60 for all of us to play, so her winnings paid for that.

After Linda said she was treating us to the steakhouse for dinner because she had so many comps. Each meal was upwards of $50 I know for a fact. It was SO GOOD, though. It is probably one of the best steaks I've had in my life. We had waitresses standing within 5 feet of our table (partly because Linda was being followed because of the comps) and everytime we needed something or even looked like we did, they were there with a refill or to get whatever we needed. We had 6 different desserts. Linda ordered a slice of chocolate cake, slice of carrot cake, a plate of tarts, strawberry cheesecake, eclairs, and cream puffs. It was delicious. We split all of these among us including the slices of cake.

After dinner we went out to play the slots. As we walked onto the playing floor the employees knew Linda by name. I can promise you all that I never want to be on a first name basis with anyone that works at the casino. She didn't even have to introduce herself- they just said "oh, hi Linda." I never want that- I would probably be addicted to gambling and that's just something I could never do. Linda gets so much to play from her comps card and my mom and I play with our $20 split between us. We lost all that we put in. Linda stood around watching us. Linda put her card in, lost much more than we did, yet still did it. Everytime I've played at this casino I come out a loser as opposed to the other 2 I've gone to. Oh well. It was quite nice however being followed around on the floor and having free drinks brought to us, even though we didn't have players cards, but again, it was a nice experience, but not my cup of tea.

The slot tournament came and basically Linda, along with 12 other people were hitting the little "go" button on the slot to rack up the most points. Linda racked up 2,500, but the woman 2 seats away racked up 6,500 and was winning on her way to winning probably $10,000. It was a big 7-8 hour contest for being in their club and having so many comps you can participate.

We played a little after that, then went home. On the way home we talked about how it was a nice experience to be treated so well, but um, that just wasn't our thing. Good experience, though! We joked about falling into a black hole with Linda. She relishes in every task and it takes hours. We were at the casino nearly 9 hours!

100 Things About Me

I've done these before, but I'm in the mood for another me me...

1. I can't stand a messy bedroom.
2. I love the Oust Clean Scent air sanitizer because it smells like The Guy's house
3. I put extra Downy in all loads of laundry I do because I like fresh smelling clothes.
4. I still need a theme for my bedroom. I'm thinking of metal/iron work, but it seems a little heavy.
5. I have seen Lonestar, The W's, Montgomery Gentry, Beach Boys, Mary Wilson (of the Supremes), Lt. Dan Band, Brenton Wood, The Grassroots, Frankie Valli, The Turtles, Three Dog Night, Faith Hill, Jason Michael Carroll, Sugarland (3 times), Chuck Wicks, Suburban Legends, and I'm probably missing a few in concerts
6. I love country, oldies, Top 40, 80s, pop, rock, alternative. My iPod represents that.
7. I love my iPhone. Love it. I could never go back to a regular phone.
8. I think the hottest country singer is a tie between Chris Cagle and Richie McDonald who used to be with Lonestar
9. Banana Republic is one of my favorite stores
10. Friends are constantly amazed at all that I do. I'm the quiet guy who is rebellious/curious and am always trying new things out of curiosity.
11. I have always wanted to work in the corporate world. Finding a job with a Comm degree/not having the full Comm background like someone who went to a school with an actual comm program may hamper that. It is not an excuse. It just shows I would have to work harder/have something different to bring. I actually want to try the teaching route, however right now.
12. If I'm really comfortable with you I tell you anything and everything that is flowing through my mind.
13. I have been told one of my greatest qualities is patience and concern.
14. I hate job applications where it asks for your 3 best qualities.
15. I tend to overplan everything/try to be laid back. I think I manage.
16. I am a Capricorn and exhibit many of the Capricorn characteristics.
17. I like going shopping.
18. I have the hardest time matching clothes. I am not colorblind.
19. I love cheese.
20. I have seen Arnold Schwarzenegger, Toby Keith, Bob Barker, and Travis Barker from Blink 182 at random places in my city from Kmart to a ball game to a political rally.
21. I love being in the car alone. It gives me time to think, make calls, sort things out, conduct business, sing.
22. Rodney Atkins is not a country singer. He is just a guy who sings off key and gets paid for it.
23. I joke with my friends Mariah Carey or Rachael Ray are my wifeys.
24. I have always wanted to be a news anchor or reporter, and would still love to be.
25. I think my biggest fault is I'm scared of taking chances.
26. I think choosing to go to a grad school and me taking out a $20k loan to do so is taking a chance. I'm proud to say I'm doing it and stepping out of my box.
27. No quiero perder mi habilidad a hablar Espanol.
28. My friends say I'm Mexican at heart.
29. I have a hard time forgiving.
30. I like to argue.
31. I feel fat.
32. When I drive I control the radio. When I am a passenger in the front seat I control the radio.
33. Target is one of my favorite stores.
34. I research a product to no end until I end up buying it. Sometimes I worry I research the fun out of it.
35. I would love to have a wireless network with a wireless printer and hard drive attached. It is possible, yo sé, pero we are having a lot of problems with AT&T where it hasn't been possible. I'm trying to figure it out and maneuver around it.
36. I wish I knew more about networking. I enjoy learning from people.
37. I can be the biggest ass.
38. I can be very stubborn.
39. I could never be a big gambler.
40. I love the feeling of buying something myself (computers, concert tix, iPhone, stereo, electronics)
41. I thought a bank teller would be a fun job.
42. I wish I had a great tan.
43. I like clothes.
44. I want a latino boyfriend that is a little shorter than me with cute latino features like dark skin, nice eyes, and Speaks Spanish. Would that not be hot to have a guy seduce you in Spanish with a Spanish accent?
45. When I'm stressed/have bad anxiety I tend to not eat.
46. My OCD tendencies come into play with things related to cleanliness of the house or having things in my room/in the house just my way.
47. I go to Target at least once a week.
48. I drive A LOT.
49. I want to teach English and definitely Spanish.
50. I want to work with the harder/more underprivileged students.
51. I work well with the difficult students.
52. I think in the area I work the Spanish gives me a leg up with the difficult students.
53. I have conflicted feelings on using Spanish in the classroom unless it is a Spanish class.
54. This carries over into going into Spanish speaking stores. I want to use English, but then I go for the novelty of using my Spanish.
55. After a year or so of subbing middle school I realize I could teach middle schoolers. Would I be happy? I think high schoolers would be easier, but I feel a little weird I'm even closer in age to them.
56. I like Sunday night movies in Spanish on Telemundo. Last week it was "Selena" y "Disney's Tarzan."
57. I wouldn't mind being an inch or two taller.
58. I am constantly told I look anorexic.
59. The joke in the family is now how anorexic or bulimic I am depending on the day.
60. I go to East LA for the Mexican food. I get looks from friends who say how dangerous it is. I feel completely safe.
61. I will do just about anything for a friend in need.
62. I hate being put on the spot when asked to use Spanish. I become very self conscious.
63. I speak great Spanish after a drink or so.
64. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.
65. I need 7-8 hours of sleep.
66. I am a morning person. I am a happy morning person.
67. I love to try new foods. Octopus with the tutors...
68. I hate cleaning windows and mirrors. How do I manage to get streaks, even when the bottle says streak free?
69. I don't cry easily.
70. I think a few close friends is better than many acquaintances.
71. I realize that the above is true more and more with friends who I can be completely honest with/those I can't. Gonzo, The Guy, Foot Fetish, Dennis, and Darla are all people I can be completely honest with.
72. I am a worrier.
73. I go to the LA County Fair every year.
74. I love rain.
75. 100 degrees in the IE is not my thing.
76. It isn't about the outside- it's what is on the inside when judging people.
77. I am determined to learn to make the PERFECT cookies- not too done, not too crunchy, just right, very chewy
78. I would love to travel more.
79. I think it would be neat to say I've been to all 50 states. I've been to about 25 so far.
80. I think I could go either way- small town or city life- as long as the big city is not more than 30 minutes-1 hour away
81. I love trivia.
82. I always have to be busy with something. I don't do nothing well.
83. I can be very romantic.
84. I often wonder if I'll have a life long partner.
85. I love technology.
86. I can often be found driving over the speed limit.
87. I am a fighter.
88. I am my biggest critic.
89. I am a kid at heart.
90. I am easily amused.
91. I love Chelsea Lately.
92. When I am having a difficult time I always try to remember there are people there for me.
93. I am not huge on brand name clothes.
94. I love a good barbecued steak.
95. Onions and garlic go great with anything.
96. Not a chocolate fan.
97. I love smoothies. I wish I were better at making them. I would like more Jamba Juice/Juice it Up consistency.
98. I would rather make a meal than to bake.
99. My favorite restaurant is a Spanish restaurant in my city.
100. I try to be genuine.

Poker Face

"Poker Face" - Lady Gaga's song done by Daughtry

Come play WOW

The Guy texted me at 1p.m. Saturday and said "Come play WOW." Of course I couldn't turn that down. I texted back when. He said 6ish. I knew 1 of 3 things- he had something to tell me or he was having a hard time or just wanting to play WOW.

I get to his place about 5:50. I pull in and see a 2005 Honda Accord EX V6 with navigation and sunroof next to his old car, his 2000 Honda Accord EX V6. I thought his brother was there since it is the same color as his brother's Honda. I walk in and expect to see his brother there, but don't. The Guy is in the office telling me about how he installed an external hard drive that was faster than the internal hard drive on his computer for it to boot from. He asked me how things were going and I replied well. I told him about the awesome deal I got on my new computer. I got $300 off and a free iPod touch. He was slightly jealous, especially because it is a top of the line Macbook Pro. Told him how my parents were out of town and my sister was with Linda. I had the house to my self. He told me about how Josh and him have sort of been going out for a year. He told me how Josh was taking some fitness certification he paid $1,000 for. He told me how Jeff talked to Josh and said told him that he seems to be using The Guy. Josh and The Guy had a talk Friday night and The Guy seconded feeling used, but also not being there for The Guy, which Josh was concerned about. Basically the consensus seems to be Josh is gay and The Guy and him will be together. We talked about Josh's fag hag and Josh shutting him out of so many parts of his life.

We go into the kitchen and The Guy tells me that the new Honda in the driveway was his. His mom gave him her old Accord so she could get a new one. He has talked about this since May of 08 when his mom first talked about it, but his dad said no because they made some big business/investment purchases at the time. I congratulated him and told him how I thought it was his brother. In fact, I thought his brother was laying down in his bed since when I walked in I heard what sounded like his brother's voice yelling at the dog.

He starts whipping up dinner. He said he was having a gaming night with Jeff, Jeff, him, and myself. He was making carnitas, bean cakes, and guacamole. He said he wished he had asked me to bring cilantro and garlic instead of Jeff since Jeff was running VERY late as usual. In the meantime I told him I was tired of Linda. He asked if Linda was going through the same problems as my mom at work. I said yep, and hers were worse. I told him what was going on, how my mom finally found her school, how she was upset to be leaving friends, but optimistic that she will thrive since the school she is going to is so heavy on discipline. I also told him how my dad will teach at least another year, but how his health is constantly in question, but for now things are looking ok. He asked about Chris and I told him about the weird texting thing, but I was ok.

Jeff and Jeff arrive shortly after this and Jeff (The Guy's friend) and I peel the garlic clove and give the cloves to The Guy for the bean cakes. The Guy dices the cilantro and claims we're having gluten free healthy Mex. He is really into healthy cooking now. He mashed the black beans, put the cilantro and garlic in with them. Then made them into cakes. He got the cheese and gluten free tortillas out of the fridge. We set everything up over in the living room and eat. We laugh at Jeff mainly for being obsessed with the cheese, and at me for eating the tortilla because it didn't look delicious. When we finish eating Jeff had mentioned something about brownies and Jeff and The Guy decide to whip some up. The Guy gets out his dark chocolate candy bars, a stick of butter, a cup of sugar, a dash of vanilla and almond extracts, and a heaping 1/3 cup of flour, then mixes it.

In the meantime Jeff, Jeff, and I go in the office and watch Jeff play WOW. I felt a little bothered at this time. Were we going to play? Jeff stood around texting watching Jeff play and The Guy was texting Josh. I knew The Guy was bothered since he was alone in the kitchen. I found reason to go in there by finishing my glass of water and going in the kitchen to refill it. I asked him if everything was ok and he told me it wasn't since Josh was canceling on him tomorrow. I just listened, then retreated back into the office. I talked a little to Jeff. Then when the brownies were done about 20 minutes later The Guy brings in the best brownies for us to eat. They were good. Jeff plays a little more, then declares he has to go to the gym, so The Jeff's leave. It is about 8:30.

I asked The Guy if he wanted to play some WOW. He said no, he was feeling down after the whole Josh thing. I sat at the foot of the couch like usual listening, then he asked what movie I wanted to watch. He picked "But I'm a Cheerleader," and we were constantly chuckling through that. Then he decided to rent "Slumdog Millionaire" off of his Apple TV. We were both disturbed by things in the first 15 minutes like falling through the outhouse and both of us hid our eyes. The brutality. Then by the end both of us were sitting next to each other crying.

It was 12:04a.m. when we finished. I ran to the restroom, grabbed my computer, thanked him, and we hugged for a good 15 seconds or so, which felt nice. Got home at 12:40, so I made pretty good timing. The 10 eastbound was pretty heavy coming home, which was surprising in a way.

Summer get together

I like organizing get togethers with the tutors aside from working around Gonzo's schedule. I texted and confirmed with her this Friday would work from there on out it was easy. Quick text to all my tutors- "We should hang out Friday at 6:30 and go for Mexican seafood." Simple. Few replies back and everything is a-ok.

We all met at 7- at least that's the time it was by the time everyone arrived. Got us a booth and the chisme started. So much good stuff. My latinas are crazy (Gonzo, Viv, and Marci). Joe couldn't make it. Lots of good catching up. Lots of wild stories. Viv is the wild one for sure. Lots of talking about hot Spanish singers and actors and I googled them as we sat there. Talked about other hotties like Josh Duhamel, their hate for Fergie, their love for Perez, how hot Hugh Jackman and Joaquin Phoenix are, how Channing Tatum has a strange jaw area making him unattractive, none of us like Angelina, Megan Fox was hot before she started trying to look like Angelina, random stuff. Good stuff. I sat there eating it up and chiming in at times about guys and girls who are and are not hot. Kobe is not hot. Will Smith is. Kobe's wife is not hot. Will Smith habla Espanol- quien sabe? I love how Viv starts speaking Spanish in random sentences, especially when the good gossip is about to flow. And I followed along and joined right in.

Ordered and spoke to the waitress in Spanish. Our waitresses name was Selena Bonita according to her nametag. She had implants I'm sure. Estoy seguro.

Oh, and what did I have? Estaba adventuroso and ate pulpo en suiza con ajo. En inglés traduce a octopus in sauce with garlic. Good stuff.

A friend defines me

Dennis usually has pretty profound/true things to say. I was chatting with him tonight and somehow we got into talking about personalities when we established I don't think like a computer. LMAO.

Dennis speaks and says...

I think you are defined by your faith in traditions, your passive avoidance of institutions, and your need for external sensation.

I think he is right on. Love the guy.

Does that not sound like me? HEHEHE

Air purifiers

Hey guys,

I need your help. Does anyone have a recommendation on air purifiers? This may seem like a stupid thing, but I'm quite serious. I've had some serious health issues this summer that I haven't blogged about, but I will say that the problems are likely allergy related. I have long complained to my parents that the air "smells" and "seems" thicker in my bedroom, which bothers my respiratory system to no end. My bedroom doesn't have the benefits all the others do- opening the 2 windows on 2 different sides of the bedroom does help, but my bedroom faces the opposite direction the wind blows so it doesn't really circulate the air. I can leave my bedroom fan on to no avail. I even have a window air condition and that doesn't help. NOBODY could tell but to me the air seems to be thicker.. Maybe it is because of my sensitivities to things like this I picked up on it instantly. I do everything I can to prevent it including vacuuming the room regularly, we had new carpet put in last summer, don't keep linens around and things to attract dust. Whatever the case, I brought in the old Honeywell Air Purifier that lives in the dining room and always stays on low over there. It stays on low because high is obnoxiously loud. I let it run in my room on high whenever I have left much to my mom's dismay and I noticed it doesn't seem as bad, and the problems I've been having don't seem as bad. When I'm in my room it is on low, but the low is too loud for my tastes. When I'm sleeping I need absolute quiet, a gentle hum is ok, but not the hiss this puts out like the drone of an air condition with something caught in it. With the air filter we have I find I have to sleep with earplugs to keep it on- and that's something I shouldn't have to do. I have noticed a difference in the air in the past 3-4 days, so I am sure it is working/helping somewhat.

Anyways, I was wondering if you have a recommendation about a good air purifier that is quiet. Personal experiences or testimonials perhaps? I went to 3 stores (Home Depot, Target, and Macys) hoping to be able to test the air purifiers, but all are boxed, and the employees didn't know much about them. I know what I would like (the $500 air purifiers that The Guy has in each room of his house that are programmable, digital, and change colors), and I'm sure if I did some begging I could get one from him, but I'm not the kind to do that. I was just wondering if any of you have any experience with one that is relatively quiet, doesn't hiss like these, and is relatively inexpensive (under $100 would be great) that can be kept on 24/7. I think I'll end up settling for this, which someone says is quiet in the reviews. We'll see... I just wanted input if anyone had any firsthand testimonials.

Thanks for your help!

This is so obnoxious

Super annoying commercial.

Get Here and check this out

Kenny Chesney and Ashanti- Get Here

Heavy music

Is it just me or do you go through musical stages? Sure there are times I listen to a lot more country than pop or oldies than country, or whatever combo. I feel at times, however, I find however in the summer I don't want to hear a "heavy" twang on the guitar like Brooks & Dunn, Jason Aldean, George Strait. It isn't just limited to country, but Daughtry's new song "No Surprise" is great, but like all of his other songs it is heavy on the instruments and feels overbearing. It isn't what I want to hear getting in the car and it is 120 or hotter inside the car, or even just driving around in the car once it is cooled and the a/c is on. I like nice and airy music like Deana Carter, Faith Hill, Backstreet Boys, Jason Mraz, Mariah Carey, Pink, or Christina Aguleria where it is nice, light feeling. Like the summer sounds like the Beach Boys. The Beatles aren't bad either when I want lighter "feeling" music. Does this make sense?

Heavy music
Daughtry- No Surprise


Light music
Jordin Sparks- One Step at a Time

Random thought: my biggest nuisance

We have 2 nice looking maroon rugs in the hallway. They are great in that they keep the carpet looking nice. We have bought rug tape, rug mats, and other things to keep these rugs in place, yet they constantly slide. IT BOTHERS EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY TO NO END (EXCEPT FOR MY SISTER) SINCE WE ARE ALWAYS ADJUSTING THEM, MOVING THEM BACK INTO PLACE. Sister just lets them bunch up and doesn't care. Anyways, I am feeling bothered by them and needed to vent.

Already you can see the rug is bunching up, and it only gets worse.

Fighting fire with fire

It is amazing how people will stand up for you. I love my best friend. He comes to my defense. I do the same for him when I can even though we're 2000 miles apart.

Remember, the one who had an issue for so long with me being gay? Well, the other night I posted on facebook a status message that I just booked my airline ticket. The Mike left a comment asking if I was going guyswithiphones island. A few friends asked where I'm going. Best friend said the happiest place on earth and then joked that it wasn't. The Mike messaged him on facebook messenger wanting to know who he was and asked if he was my boyfriend. Best friend blew up and told him that he was gay for asking, he was probably the insecure one, and nowhere did I say I was going anywhere to fuck or be with a guy. I guess Mike continued teasing him and pissing him off teasing my best friend for being gay. Best friend just defended himself and told Mike he was gay for talking so much about being gay and liking guys. Eventually my friend signed off.

Whether my friend was doing it because he thought it was a jab at me, or because he was ticked off this fool was messaging him and harassing him, I don't know, but I'm pretty happy that he did that.

Music and wine under the stars

The Faith Hill concert at the Hollywood Bowl was AMAZING. At first lots of arguing with my cousin. She was adamant we park over on Vine over by The Avalon and Capitol Records. That was more than a mile from the Hollywood Bowl. I was planning on parking at Hollywood/Highland and my cousin never gave a reason to not. Then she plopped me $10 and she said PARK HERE, NOW, so I did. Found out her reason was traffic in the evening because everyone is cruising Hollywood or Highland. We avoided it and got to walk through Hollywood on the way back from the concert and explore, and I realized that as we were leaving.

The venue was amazing. I had heard you picnic at the Bowl, so that we did. I bought a bottle of wine earlier in the day with the help of my cousin, then we went to Marie Callendars on the way for a blueberry cream pie and Stater Brothers for chocolate chip cookies. My cousin and I went in blind buying wine since none of us are huge wine connossieurs, probably wasn't the best wine, but it was one heck of a time. OMG. Everyone was picnicking. Everyone had a bottle of wine or water, cookies, sandwiches, chicken, whatever. Everyone was so laid back and talkative. We were around an older couple that just sat watching the concert, 2 recent high school grads and the guy was taking the girl to see Faith for her birthday, he was saying how he didn't like country and wanted to know the Angels score. I passed my phone to him several times so he could check. There was a mother and daughter who were very cool also and fun to chat with. I so want to go back for another concert- who can beat alcohol, the outdoors, music, and good friends?

Didn't know that the conductor of the LA Philharmonic Orchestra helps write the music for many of Faith's songs (like from Pearl Harbor and others). The first half was the Philharmonic and the 2nd half was Faith singing. I was hoping to hear "When the Lights Go Down," and "It Matters to Me," "Sunshine and Sumertime," maybe "Stealing Kisses," her newer stuff. It was mainly her older stuff- "This Kiss," which was a fun one, "Mississippi Girl," "Piece of My Heart," "If My Heart Had Wings," "Wild One," "Breathe," "Cry," "The Secret of Life," "Let Me Let Go," and "Paris." She also sang "Bridge over Troubled Water." Glad I got to go. "Wild One" was probably my favorite performance of hers. The biggest letdown was probably that she played only an hour or so, but she was awesome. Really enjoyed it.

I heard lots of people say they were tweeting at the concert, so I had to check out the twitter search this morning to see what people said. Most said she was great, and I agree.

Afterward we trekked from the bowl down to Hollywood Blvd. Of course we had to stop by Michael Jackson's star on the Walk of Fame. Still tons of people. Still tons of MJ impersonators. We stopped in a bar where there was no line for a beer before heading out.

We made good timing home. It took 1 hour and 13 minutes to get from Hollywood to my house and that was with traffic on the 101S from Normandie down to the split off with the 10.





Oh, and the Hollywood sign in the background (although a little obstructed, is a nice touch)

My healing powers

The Guy texted me yesterday/we talked on the phone for about a minute yesterday and he told me he'd text me at noon. He said he'd help me study for the CSET on Saturday and that we'd do lunch. I waited and 12p.m. past. I was over in the area. I texted him, then called. He picked up the phone and I asked if we were still doing lunch. He was playing WOW and didn't go to work, so forgot about lunch. He wasn't interested in lunch, so I was starving (and bitchy!)

I get to his place and he is in the office for the longrun. He hasn't done his hair, he hasn't showered, had a few energy drinks, and a few smoothies, and plates laying around. I grab a chair and pull it up next to him. He asks if we can play, then study. I said sure. He asks if I want to play and if I had my new computer. I said nope. I told him I was mad at my bank for rejected Paypal's attempts to deposit into my account. It'll be a few days, but I'll get the money shortly.

He was playing with Rush and they were doing some PVP stuff. The Guy said I could play on his level 80 druid and go around healing his ass. I agreed since Rush was headed to bed. We did some PVP and I was pretty bad at first, but once I got into the swing of things we were good. He yelled at me, told me how horrible I was, but it was like old times and he'd do that whether I was good or bad. We were good and kicked some major ass. We were getting the most killings and most healings and lots of honor points in the game. It was easy just healing him as opposed a group.

I chatted with him about the test, my fears, my anxieties, and stuff like that. He was complementary of me, which was nice. I just felt a lot of self doubt while we were there. I am trying to be optimistic. He napped, surfed around on the computer, and I read through the damn book. I asked him a few questions and he gave me a few ideas.

At 4:50 he sprung into action and got in the shower because he had to leave to go workout at 5.

I was quite grumpy I do have to admit since I didn't get lunch. Granola and yogurt for breakfast does not last until 5p.m. I met a friend for ice cream afterward. So my 5p.m. lunch was ice cream. My 6p.m. dinner was French Dip. I'm going to have my 8p.m. apple for snack, now.

Faith Hill tomorrow night with my cousin. Woot. Cousin is already going to be in Hollywood, so I'm driving up to Hollywood, then parking at Hollywood/Highland I guess, and walking to the bowl. Bars after? Exploring on my own? Possibly. No sé.

Why I can't sleep

Let's chronicle last night, shall we?

11:30p.m. settle in for a nice slumber
11:55p.m-12:05a.m. group of teen girls outside screaming... I think they were trying to TP the neighbors
12:14a.m. as I'm about to fall asleep Poison next door starts barking
12:18a.m. I get up, put shoes on, grab flashlight, head outside, shine it at the dog
12:23a.m. come inside and back in bed
12:55a.m. Poison starts barking again
12:58a.m. I head out again, repeating above steps
1:30a.m. sister can't sleep and is up walking the hall
1:55a.m. she settles in the bathtub because the bathtub is so much more comfortable than her bed in her bedroom
3:31a.m. Siren from the highway
4:30a.m. neighbors walking dogs causing Riggie down the street to bark
5:20am. Sis's alarm goes off and is loud enough for me to hear it in my room with the door shut
5:23a.m. I'm back asleep
5:30a.m. Sis is bitching about lord knows what
5:35a.m. Sis is walking up and down the hall between the main bathroom and master bath
5:55a.m. Sis leaves for school
6:20a.m. Sis calls because she left her hairbrush on the couch and wanted someone to bring it for her
6:30a.m. Trash trucks roll down the street
7:15a.m. Mom gets up
7:30a.m. Dad gets up
7:45a.m. I hear my dad in the dishwasher removing pans and things
7:55a.m. Dad starts making breakfast and is talking loudly, and it echoes through the hall


That pic would be Poision

Last night was just a prime example. Usually it is nowhere near that bad. Poison usually barks 2-3 times a week, but it is hella annoying, especially when you're about to fall asleep, in a sound sleep, and the owners don't have decency to shut your dog up.

But Poison does bark for hours on end and won't stop, especially at night. We've even go so far as to call the neighbors at whatever ungodly hour Poison starts barking, but they do not pick up their phone. They must be deaf.

A normal bad night may look like this:
11:30p.m. bed
12:55a.m. Poison barks
12:58a.m. outside
1:05a.m. back in house
4:30a.m. neighbors walking dog
4:55a.m. Poision barks
4:58a.m. headed outside again
5:05a.m. back in, only to be awaken again at 5:20 by the alarm

My Melatonin however works wonders and has helped with a lot of this. I do sleep more deeply I think.

I'm just grouchy today.

Cuddle Buddy

I have been chatting with Eric back and forth on connexion for several weeks. The other night he asked me if I wanted to take our friendship a step further and become cuddle buddies. I have never met Eric in person, so from online friend to cuddle buddy? Sure, why not? I joked that he was probably looking for more than a cuddle buddy, and he said nope, just come over, watch a movie, maybe sleep together, but only cuddling. Not that I'm opposed. I like cuddling. Love holding a guy or having them hold me, but cuddle buddy? I know I've heard the term used a lot more lately and I'm assuming it is not purely platonic as he describes.

So Eric wants to get together this weekend with his new presumed cuddle buddy to cuddle, watch a movie, and sleep... hmmmmmm

It is always hot

My dad likes Markina Brown on KTLA. He says, "she always looks clasy, very conversational and makes the weather fun because she has her weather game where she gives you clues about the city, then gives you a personalized forecast."



Here's a guy whom I personally find very sexy, Mr. Rick Dickert, but my dad does not like. He is trying too hard here my dad says with the suit jacket, tee, and jeans. He could have worn black pants and the suit jacket my dad argued. He shouldn't be on air dressed like that. He's one of those hot guys that can pull anything off is all I can say.



Oh, and while on the subject of temperatures it was 88 last night at 9p.m. It was sticky.

On a Kelly high...

The Greatest Man I Never Knew- Reba and Kelly
have had this stuck in my head since house sitting for The Guy


What Hurts the Most- Kelly and Rascal Flatts


Fancy- Kelly and Reba

Random convos with my sister

Went to the Yankee game with my sister, dad, and few friends of my mom's.

Snippets from our convos:

Before we left the house...
Mom: Did you put suntan lotion on?
Sis: No. I don't need it.
Mom: You will. You see what the game did to you last week. (Mom gives me the look wondering if I did.)
Me: I put it on.
Sis: Well, it's because you're a girl.

In the car...
Me: I will drop you guys off, then go down to Panera and meet Joe (a coworker who was going to the game, but had a better plan of heading to breakfast before the game. We arrived at 10 and the game was at 12:35)
Sis: Dude, you're such a girl, going to breakfast before the game. I ate Jack in the Box in the car to save time.
Me: I'm hungry and arriving 2 1/2 hours early and waiting in the hot sun is not my idea of fun.
Sis: It is. Watching the guys warm up, getting to watch batting pratice. You waste so much money going out to eat with your friends. Dad, doesn't he waste money?
Me: (nods)
Sis: You're stupid. You're such a girl. Dad, isn't there something wrong when Mike wants to go out to eat over going to the game?
Dad: Whatever you say.
Sis: Seriously, who cares you're going to be out in the sun? There's something wrong when your son doesn't like sports. There's also something wrong when he wants to go catch up on gossip with his friend. Dad, do you see this?

7th inning at the game... keep in mind in 100 degree heat, we were in the sun, and on top of having fun my goal was to stay hydrated
Me: I want a water. (I was going through about a drink every 2 innings)
Sis: Dude, you drink too much. That gives you gas. You're also wasting money.
Me: (Gives her that look of surprise).
Dad: Ok, sounds good
Sis: Dad, Mike's wasting your hard earned money. You've already bought like 5 drinks for him.
Me: Keep in mind it is 100 degrees out. Heat exhaustion? Stay hydrated? Yes?
Dad: He can have whatever he wants. It's hot. If you needed something I'd buy something for you.
Sis: Well, I'm not going to waste your money, dad. I'll let you buy me a drink afterward at a restaurant where you aren't forced to pay so much.
Dad: If you can wait.
Sis: I can, unlike Mike the Camel.
Me: I'd ride a camel.
Sis: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeew that's nasty.
Me: Girls like you don't do that I guess.
Sis: hmmmmph


On the way home in the car...
I receive a text message from Joe and another friend.
Dad: You're popular tonight.
Sis: Drive, idiot! You're such a girl wanting to check your phone while driving. You're like a girl checking her phone and makeup.
Dad: Enough Sis. We're sitting here at the stop light. He's ok.
Sis: No. We're going to get in an accident. Did you see him on his phone nonstop during the game?
Dad: It is his choice.

Oh, and how was breakfast? Great. Met Joe's dad and mom. Good convo. Good meal. We all got to the park with about 10 minutes to spare. I was filled up. I felt pretty manly and was ready to enjoy a manly game of baseball. And it was a great game. Yankees lost!!! Oh, and my sister really didn't get to me. She just talks. I'm getting good at tuning her out and not intervening in her ramble. I enjoyed the game. Seriously, 2nd row seats, enjoyed the company of my mom's friends from work/teachers I work with, hot guys, lots of action, especially after the 6th inning when the game started picking up and the Yankees started trying. Oh, and I was able to name the Angels players and their positions- something my sister said I couldn't do because I was a girl and not interested in baseball.
So here we go... 1st base is Brandom Wood, 2nd base is Isturiz, 3rd is Figgins, pitcher is Lackey
She was amazed. It shut her up- that was until she decided to ask me about the players.
And you know what? I was able to tell her about them. Lackey is 6'6'', has been on the Angels since 2002, stuff like that won me extra points. Certainly a gay guy wouldn't know that.

Things being said

This afternoon I got a text from my cousin and she told me to check out facebook and see what one of The Mike's said on their page. This Mike was filling out one of those dumb facebook surveys, and well, this one took a hit at me.

5 people you DO NOT want to see standing at the end of your bed!! by Mike

1. Gary Busey
2. ShamWoW Guy
3. Man-Baby
4. Mike
5. Michael Jackson

So first off, I thanked her, asked how she knew, and stuff like that. She was acquaintances with him in theater in college, which I knew. And I logged onto facebook to check it out, well, now I'm unsure what to do about The Mike thing. Sure it is easy to un-friend him, but I don't want to because I know what is being said. I have said NOTHING to him and don't plan to. Just keep a low profile, completely ignore it, like it hasn't happened. It does hurt, but overall I'm able to look at it and realize that it makes him look stupid and he thinks he is being funny. I think it is good that I've severed ties with most people from high school (the people Mike has contact with), although it hurts me to do that. I don't need them in my life and am getting along fine. I have wonderful people who would never do anything like that (The Guy, Dennis, Foot Fetish, Gonzo, Darla, and best friend in MS).

But this got me thinking and wondering? Is there anything I can do for this slander online? Do I have any recourse or is there anything I can do? I did screenshot it just to make sure I have a copy of it. I wish I had screenshot those text messages when he sent them. I never dreamed it would come to this, but I don't want it to escalate any further. Any advice? Ideas?

For now I'm keeping my mouth shut acting like I haven't seen it.

200!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Guy got home from his trip to see Josh at 12:30. He told me the ETA was 1:15 at 11:45, so I was thinking I'd call my friend's mom to confirm Mississippi plans, and she talks so long, an hour would be perfect. So I was not expecting him to come marching in at 12:30. I told him hi and tried to end the call.

The Guy goes in the bathroom and leaves the door open (we always leave the door open around each other when we pee). He does his stuff, then washes up, and closes the door. As I end the call I say "hello" in a playful tone. He starts crying. "Fuck" was the first thought that came to my head and I wanted to slap Josh. What did Josh do? Did he have such a terrible time? He seemed so happy walking in and this is almost what I expected. I waited and waited outside the door listening to him bawling. I was worried. He comes out and he is barely able to make it out, but he hit 200 pounds!!! I didn't know what to think. I was honestly at the point of being pissed off and then to hear this. I told him "congratulations," and he stood there telling me how hard it was, how he never thought this time would come, and things like that. We talked some, he texted all of his close friends, including Josh to tell them. I was so excited and I told him how proud I was of him. He has worked so hard for it. We unload the car and after every piece of luggage he comes in crying. I didn't know exactly what to say or do, I was just really happy for him. He updated his facebook status to say that he had lost 46 pounds in 1 year. He goes in the bathroom, takes a dump, and he is 200.0 instead of 200.3. He tells me how healthily he ate all weekend. He had a bunch of cereals in his luggage and stuff like that. Then we take off to the rental car company.

I follow him to the rental car company at the airport and I know I was smiling the whole time and just very happy. It is amazing. I am so elated for him because although I'm not fat I know how much he hurt and seeing how he beat himself up worse than any girl over the whole fat issue. At least in my mind. Seeing how he dropped the pounds has been amazing and gradually transitioning from wearing the same old black shorts and black shirts everyday to brand name shorts and shirts from Nordstrom has been exciting. He always said he wants to hit 200 and he never thought he could do it. For a year he has talked about if he just hit 200. It was finally happening.

He gets in the car after turning in his Infiniti and I ask him how his weekend was. He described it as a "boar" I think. He said Josh didn't know he existed. I was not surprised. He said he spent most of the weekend in his room crying. I can believe that and it just breaks my heart to see how caught up he is in him. Anyways, the conversation was not going to stay sour. I wasn't going to let it. He was scrolling through his phone reading all the congratulations from his facebook status. He starts crying again and getting really uneasy shaking his legs back and forth. He said he didn't know if he was crying because of Josh or because of hitting 200. I told him Josh is not even in the picture today. Today is YOUR day, you hit 200 and my mission was to make sure he remembered that. He talked about how Josh is still playing distant in his texts and using the same smile over- wanting to play it straight- not really caring. The Guy was hurt. I was trying to divert him from Josh the best I could. The Guy joked that carrying around 46 pounds was like carrying one of those heavy weights at the gym around. He talked about how it took almost exactly 1 year. He said how uncomfortable and heavy that was, and we laughed that it actually was. I put my hand on his leg to comfort him and also just to congratulate him. He was talking about all of the negativity that he has surrounding weight and that number was just amazing.



We get back to his house, more congrats, help him unpack. He had 4 bags. He travels like a gay guy. HAHA. Anyways, it was mainly putting his beauty products in his bathroom. He shows me the 180 or so pics of Josh he took. Just Josh. There were 4-5 of the team, however.

The Guy then tells me to go in the office with him. He goes to Paypal to send me money for house sitting for the weekend. When he got in my car the other day he saw my scribbles on a sheet of paper. I conduct business in the car. I had been on the phone with the bank and found out I was only $320.00 from being able to buy my computer Thursday afternoon when I was driving over to his place. I had a bunch of random math and then in 3-4 places I had written $320. The Guy thumbed through his wallet at that time on Thursday looking for $320.00 so I could buy the computer because he wanted me to be able to play with it all weekend. He told me to email him my paypal information and he'd slip me the money when he got to the hotel and I could buy it Friday morning. He was playful, serious about it. I did. He didn't send the money and I knew he was preoccupied and it wasn't a huge deal. I mean we had already said I'd get $200 for the weekend ($50 a day + $50 for food) and that was fine- I was more than grateful for that, and that's what he usually pays me. I was only $120 away from my goal. He put the money in paypal for me, so now I have to figure out how to retrieve it. That was all very nice and so unexpected. I thanked him, and almost broke down crying on Thursday night when he called telling me he'd wire me the money when he got to the hotel. How many guys have friends that can just do that for them and so graciously? I thanked him again 2-3 times before I left and most of all congratulated him on the 200. We hugged as he headed out to the gym, and I joked that he had newfound motivation.

I'm so happy for The Guy!!! 200!!! The Guy's ideal weight is 190 and I have no doubt he can do it now. I do have to say I know it wasn't easy because The Guy is the biggest sucker for junk food and things like that, new fad 1 week, new fad/idea the next.

House sitting for The Guy

He called me when I was out with Mr. B on Wednesday asking if I'd house sit Thursday-Saturday while he was off at some athletic competition. He was telling me how upset he was at some things that happened with Josh, but he was going anway.

I said sure. Picked him up yesterday about 2, we went to the airport for a rental car. While on the way we talked about so much. My doctor's appointment at Kaiser. We talked about him going up there, Josh being so jealous The Guy is staying at a hotel on the coast with an ocean view, while he is only staying in a Motel 6. We talked about the AT&T GPS feature. He was amused because it showed my car, like my car, you know, driving down the freeway to take him. And the little car was the same color as my car. He told me where he left my money for the weekend. And of course I am doing this because I'm a sucker for $$$ and it puts me closer to being able to buy my new Mac. We debriefed. I let him know that I needed to see him next week, so we need to make plans. I need help with some school stuff. Then I told him to keep in contact, at least let me know when he'll be home, got his car keys and house key. We hugged, put the stuff in his car, then he was off.

And there he goes... of course you know he has to go in style.. Infiniti FX35



And my plans for the weekend are as follows:
- Book air flight to MS
- Buy computer? (maybe!)
- Set up this computer to become my backup (load all media onto it, Handbrake, etc.)
- Investigate hooking my Macbook Pro up to the TV/Apple TV
- Leyendo un libro en Espanol (Reading a book in Spanish)
- Balance my checkbook/other OCD financial stuff I do
- Fill out paperwork for school
- Oh, and The Guy has a pool in his complex... maybe lay out by it?
Productive, indeed.

The Anti-Christ History Channel

Because I am intrigued by this whole end of time thing I had to watch "The Anti-Christ" tonight on the history channel. Here are my notes. Yes. I took notes. Why? To argue with mother dearest. Friends. Whatever. A lot of this I knew, but some was new, so definitely worth watching. Learned lots about Left Behind series... I just wanted some notes for reference just because... it'd make me tingle or something... or at least I thought it would. But if you're interested...
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Zorroestrianism 500BC or so, this religion emerges and it has a anti-Christ/Christ figure like Christianity

Daniel= anti-Christ or historical figure?
Word anti-Christ never mentioned in the chapter
Mentions a man who will come during turmoil and this man will draw the world together, bring prosperity

Daniel 9:27 - He will confirm a covenant with many for one 'seven.' In the middle of the 'seven' he will put an end to sacrifice and offering. And on a wing of the temple he will set up an abomination that causes desolation, until the end that is decreed is poured out on him.
--- basically the man described in Daniel believes he is better than God, and a biblical week is 7 years --- Daniel written during persecution of Jews --- think may be toward Syrian despot who declared himself god. --- Many of details in Daniel may have been written before the end of the Jew war in 164

Apocalyptic literature was not meant to understand end times, rather explain what was going wrong at a certain time

Anti-Christ shows up 5 times talking about John the Baptist

Revelation = most forceful comm. about end times, about a beast, one whose real ID is anti-Christ
Rev. 13:5-13:7
well liked, spiritual, insightful, given authority over every tribe

Rev. 13:18- 666 comes up (prefix type thing some say like a social security number type thing)

Scholars say about understanding future as much as past

Revelation written during 1st century with comm. of Christians being persecuted experiencing famine, econ failure, saw anti-Christ everywhere and in order to serve had to worship emperor, etc.

Thessalonians didn't live up when it said that end didn't come

Anti-Christ helps explain there still demonic forces, which is why end still hasn't come

John Baptist wrote addressing ppl. in Asia-minor, modern day Turkey

Passages about Rome? Sea beast talks about political power (Rev 13:11) or so dark beast and false prophets where religion being used in false sense

666 - 3rd form of evil - if didn't go along with Rome, couldn't buy or sell - numeric value for Nero Caesar?

So Revelation can be read as Rome, the anti-Christ coming, or symbols asking us to question how good and evil are present
- Tells us good people have bad things happen
- Right eventually triumphs
- Numerous victories for evil along the way and innocent hurt

People like Marilyn Manson have been called anti-Christ

1st and 2nd John - letters/epistles written at end of 1st century AD when Christians fighting whether or not Jesus existed in flesh (Dan 9:27) defines them as those who don't recognize Jesus

How does stuff from John where anti-Christ mentioned become so great and so powerful?

Anti-Christ image from Hippolytus in his treatus on Christ and anti-Christ talks about ideas prevalent in early church

During Crusades anti-Christ name used to destruct Jews and Muslims

1st Crusades in 1095 - people's crusade destroyed many jews
2nd was wide slaughter of Muslims

1187 Muslim recapture lead to arguments that Salimus was the anti-Christ
Muslim anti-Christ appears in 9th century

Protestant Reformation anti-Christ was used among CHristians who broke away from Catholicism

Nostradamus wrote poetry like Quatrain 1 about 1 being more of fire than blood

Hitler was 2nd referred to as Hister, or Danube River

Whatever needs to be identified at that moment as evil can be termed anti-Christ

So who does the Bible say the anti-Christ is/Christians?

Mass media renowns the term a-Christ

Global TV networks and books (televangelists and Left Behind series)

Novel "Planet Earth" from 70s helped bring about this a-Christ

Left Behind says anti-Christ will be head of UN and from Romania who gets control of it and movies it to new Babylon (Iraq) for new world order. Going to use modern speak everyone good and the average people will say he is great. He'd bring peace treaty in mid-East

3 years in he'd declare himself to be god and put to death those who don't receive his mark

What apocalyptic messages can we continue to convey? How can we continue to make sense of history and what is going on?


It is a 2 part series... I just watched the 1st
The 2nd part is called "Zero Hour"


Matt 28 evangelizing whole world - like Puritans/Spanish coming to US?
need to evangelize before anti-Christ comes

anti-Christ during Revolution was thinking George III of England was him - lots of presence in Amer. hist.

Have looked to presidents for AC since Rev. 13:17-18 where people saw Roosevelt as puppeteer who with things like social security bringing about a monetary thing for everything

Reagan's 3 names have 6 letters... was he?

Cold War - Soviet Union thought it was, then US being superpower was

Scholars say... DISPENSATIONALISM (dividing bible into diff. eras, god works with diff. humanities, unified scripture and brought in books like Daniel and Revelation that had been ignored - read bible like jigsaw)--- John Nelson Darvey, British evangelist brought about many of the ideas around today because of his dispensationalism (1880s-1940s it huge and changed how bible read/thought in US)
- antiChrist vital part of this teaching


Got 25 minutes into the 2nd part and that's where I stopped... but I got a lot of what I wanted to hear about it and clarification on all the interpretations I've heard, so I was glad

Drink with Mr. B

The drink with Mr. B was awesome.

He was so cool about everything. We get in, sit down, and he asks me what I like to drink. He said he didn't picture me as a drinker. I told him I like the light beers and then I tried the Dos Equis Amber ones on the menu. I don't recall the name, but it was pretty good. Mr. B began telling me the history of Dos Equis and their logo. He ordered something. We weren't quite hungry, so we held off on appetizers. He told me about how some beers are made with CO2 and others with Nitrogen. That was cool.

We talked about so much- in no particular order
teachers, coworkers, what everyone is up to
he asked me if I had any questions about any teachers at the school, his thoughts on them, things like that
I used the above as a way to judge - there were really hot Spanish teachers at my school and they were women
His comments about them were interesting "he'd dig one of them, except for her mustache"
What students who were in our class are up to
He texted Gonzo to let her know to live large while she is on a business trip next week
He told me about his graduate work where The Guy went to school
I said I love the area, my ex went there, and stuff like that
He talked about education being so important and then I said now "HE" is dating a gym trainer with no education and I'm seeing how bad of a mix for him that is.
At least I threw the pronoun out there. Mr. B just kind of looked surprised for a second, then kept eating
I threw the pronoun out and my ex several more times
We chatted more about teachers
About education
About Macs
About Michael Jackson
About his beer brewing
Then he ordered me some ale that was sort of fruity, he ordered another 2 beers, and we sampled each others. He told me how the beer I had was so creamy and such a small alcohol content, almost like drinking fruity, creamy water.
We talked about other kids in school including one who was gay. Mr. B loved him as a kid, but he was always pushing him, searching for the easy way out
I told him how that kid is gay, how he is still searching for the easy way out. I saw him at Target with his boyfriend. He paused, smiled, and asked "boyfriend?". Told him yes. He asked what Target I saw him at. He said he was surprised since that is basically a very unaccepting area. And how would he know was my question, as well as Who's Life, as I told him about this.
I do think and suspicion Mr. B is gay. He's not my type at all, but he has many characteristics that seem like he could be.
Mr. B kept asking if there were any final questions. Mine was going to be are you gay? BUT that's so unlike me to ask. That would be my question, though.
We of course facebook friended each other before we left and he is going to upload out photos soon. Woot. I can't wait to see.
We hugged, then took off.
It was a nice 2 3/4 hours. 4:00-6:45p.m.
He suggested we do this again. And with Gonzo.

Oh, and I almost knew The Guy would call today. Am I psychic or something? He did about an hour into our Happy Hour thing.

Here's one reason why I could never take Lu Parker seriously

FYI- I know I've mentioned it before, she is dating the mayor of LA, Mayor Villaraigosa

Need to decompress before bed

Date tonight.
Profile said: 40, 5'9'', 150lbs, brown hair, blue eyes.
What I got: 40? 5'9'', 170lbs (or so), no hair, green eyes
The 2 athletic body shots and 2 face pics were maybe years ago.
That's the risk you run online.
Overall the conversation was good. But, well, it was not what I was expecting.

Good time tomorrow, though. Drink with Mr. B.
Oil change
Lunch with a friend?

Cousin has purchased Faith Hill tickets... pretty great seats judging from the seating chart... I'm the lucky one... haha

Where I blog from

I was tagged by AEK over at The Masks We Wear, so I had to partake. And so in response to his question where do I blog from, I blog from...

The comfort of my Cal King bed. There's plenty of room if you care to join me. The mattress is extremely soft.
I sleep with at least 6 pillows on my bed. 2 of them are on the floor where I was laying earlier, not pictured. And yes, I use all 6 of them at various points, whether it be for laying on, laying my feet on, lounging around, or whatever.


My view to the computer- keys, phone, wallet, and cell phone are all within arms reach.


And a look toward the TV. When the bed is made and in any other season when I have my down comforter on the bed you cannot see the TV because the bed is too high.


And now I guess I'm obligated to tag some of you, but I will leave it open to whomever would like to show us around and let us in on their big secret.

Beautiful Mess

I sent The Guy a text this morning that was very simple. I just said, "hi." About an hour later I got a "hey mike, how are you?" back. I texted him back and told him about creating a movie in iMovie of my graduation. I asked how he was. Took me a couple times asking to get a reply. He said "I'm a mess." I probably put a sad face or something, then he elaborated a "beautiful mess like in Jason Mraz' song." I said well, he is cute, or something. I knew he was hurting and in pain. I propositioned him and said "you need to hang out or get out." I told him I'd bring something by for lunch. I asked what he'd like. He said maybe a sandwich. I asked from where. No reply. I named a place and he replied "turkey." I told him I'd be there in an hour.

I grab the sandwiches at the place and head over to his. I get in and I yell "hello!" His dog barks, then comes to me. The Guy joked how he hadn't seen me in so long. We hugged. He cleared a space at the couch and we sat down to eat. He ate a few bites and asked me how things were going. I told him well. I told him I made a video of my grad pics. I told him where I chose to go get my masters. I told him my reasons. He then came back and asked if I was ready. I figured he meant to go. He told me he was going to go lay down shortly. I asked to go where. He said CVS. He took me up on the offer of needing to go out. We went to CVS looking for candles. They had 1 Febreeze candle. We were going to buy it, but the wait was so long. He said we needed to go to Target then. He just laid the 1 candle in a display and we walked out.

We chatted about lots of things on the way in and out of CVS. The ugly girl next to us with tattoos all over. How smoking didn't do anything for her. The Guy told me he was up until 4a.m. last night and wrote Josh a poem called "The Warrior," but then told me it wasn't about Josh, it was about him. He e-mailed it to Josh. I told him I was going to say that it didn't sound like Josh.

We talked about what's going on with me on the way to Target. I was very upbeat overall because I don't have anything to complain about really. I told him that I am probably going to buy a new Macbook Pro like I want, but am working with a few people to get me a discount. We talked about weird people.

He is mad that there are so many people at Target in the parking lot. He asked why everyone was there, and didn't they work. I said social security checks probably just hit the banks. Then I saw Shaniqua in front of us with a lot of junk in the trunk and pushing babies in the cart, so I said it is probably welfare checks. We had a great discussion about how we both hate welfare and think that if you are on it, you should be doing some sort of work weather it be picking up trash, yardwork on the side of the road, or public works projects.

We go in and nobody is in Target. We go to the candle aisle and he buys $100 in Febreeze candles. We also get some freezer bags and dish soap. He gets an iTunes gift card too. We check out and the guy in front of us is filling out papers for a home loan or something, The Guy deemed, for taking so long.

We go back to his place and on the way he is telling me he thinks he got no sleep this weekend because of Josh. The Guy asked about spending the 4th together and Josh said sure. Josh then went to Catalina with his family and came over very late that night. The Guy knows he was invited with Josh's family, but Josh didn't let him. Josh is constantly turning away from him. The Guy called his dad today and said he is back with Josh and all the pain he is causing. The Guy's dad basically ratted him out and said he was taking advantage of The Guy. The Guy asked my opinion and I said I think so. I'd like to think not, that he is just a guy on the fence with his sexuality, but he has given Josh many opportunities to act upon it. I know by this point I would have, and I would be madly in love with him given the opportunity. He starts welling up with tears while we're in the carport and I rub his hand to comfort him. We go in and we eat a few bites of our sandwiches, then he says he is going to lay down. I eat the half of my sandwich I'd been trying for a while, then I go in and tell him I'm taking off. I put my hand on him and then hugged him and he thanked me for lunch.

I got a text tonight from him thanking me. He was up playing some WOW. Hopefully we're back to normal. I miss him.



BTW I sense a Jason Mraz theme going on as of late.

A piercing

For years now I have wanted a piercing. I don't know why. I came close to doing it about a year back with my cousin. My cousin would get her ears pierced if I got mine done. I was game. My parents might have thrown a fit, but I didn't care. I still don't.

So I'm thinking about what to do and not. First- no stretching anything. That's not my thing. Nothing crazy like your monroe or nose. No tongue piercing because I've had enough mouth problems/parents have invested good money in my teeth.

Under wraps would probably be best considering the type of work I'm going into.

No tattoo. I change my mind too often. And people get old and stuff sags.

Things I have thought about:
Ears- sure... I'd do it if someone went with me and the holes aren't that noticeable when you take them out, so that could be ok

Eyebrow- few say I could pull it off

Lip- more say I could pull that off.

Nipples- very tempted, as you read in my last post I think those piercings are hot, especially on the right guy. I'm not sure I'm the right guy. I've been told NO by The Guy and Carl (piercings came up in a convo about his piercings and so I showed my chest). Best friend in Mississippi thinks it is hot, wants it done, and said if I did it, he would too. I've heard this is painful too and takes a while to heal. I've also heard of lots of sensitivity there afterward. I imagine it'd hurt at first like when your nipples have been rubbing up against a shirt or something and are really hard.

Belly button- on some guys it looks hot- take for example porn star Sky Thompson, but it would hurt like hell I think - if it wouldn't I'd consider, but that is a sensitive area. And how many guys have this done?

PA- Out of the question. Sorry.

Anyone have any experiences they care to share? I've read lots on www.bmezine.com, which is the authority it seems when it comes to piercings and body modification, but would love to hear.



Chest shot... any thoughts? Could I pull off the nipple? Just a simple bar there. What about belly button?


For those who have seen a pic of my face, what do you think?

Part of the reason I want to do it is I don't think anyone would expect me to have something and that would be part of the thrill.

Just Me and me

I met blogger Just Me last night since we both live in the same area and he is home for the weekend. We met up at Starbucks, chatted some, then went to my favorite Chinese food place for some dinner.

We got to the bar about 9:30 and it was pretty busy for that time because of the underwear contest later that night, and the drag show. We got a couple drinks, sat down at a table and chatted. We were pretty comfortable with each other I think. I know I was comfortable as I was able to tell him "that guy's hot, that one too" and so on. I think the term I was using was "I'd fuck him" haha, as I was pointing them out. I wouldn't have done that if I wasn't comfortable. He put up with me chatting about anything and everything. The conversation flowed well and we talked about a bunch of different things like family, school, teaching, and stuff we've mentioned on our blogs. It always amuses me when meeting bloggers. We talk about things on our blogs that are big secrets, or things that we don't necessarily tell everyday people in our lives. So it is like we know a unique part of them, and when we finally meet, and get to chat, it is like we know each other.

The drag show was good. The P!nk drag queen was the best by far. We made our way out to the patio after the drag show where we had a pretty nice up close view of all those strutting in their underwear. There was one guy I kept telling Just Me about who just did it for me in the bar. He walked in with his boyfriend, both in underwear, and played pool behind us while we were chatting. His boyfriend was in boxer shorts and had a peace sign or something on his chest. The guy who did it for me was sort of stalky, sort of furry chest, maybe 27-28, wore a black hat, had his underwear, which looked like a tuxedo on. He had pierced nipples, which looked soooo hot. He had such a confidence to him it seemed as he was up there on the stage. I wanted him to win. I was bad and did shoot a few pics of him. AND HE GAVE ME A SHOW. Totally did it for me. When he was showing his stuff, he pulled down the elastic and pulled out his soft dick and started stroking it back and forth before putting it away. It was hot. I was so worked up after that. And he was standing over in front of Just Me and myself. I wanted so badly to touch or at least to talk to him, but I didn't. Not enough drinks in me. Unfortunately he didn't win. He did make it to the semifinals. He was my favorite, though. The girls who were in the underwear contest were interesting in their tutus and lingerie and they took their bras off and I saw several nipples too.

Afterwards we chatted some more while watching people being dunked in the dunk tank that was on the patio and then chatted in the parking lot afterward helping to close the bar down at 2a.m.

Maybe next year I'll participate in the underwear contest (of course after a few drinks). I sort of had that confidence last night like I could do that. LOL. I can't really explain it.

Edit: And here he is... after many questions about what he looked like the pic is posted. I'd fuck him or (let him fuck me.)