Flirting with friends in relationships

I have several friends/acquaintances that are in relationships. There is The Guy and Robert, Jack off Buddy and his boyfriend, the hairstylist I met with Max a while back is one of my acquaintances in a relationship.

I remember several months back the hairstylist found me on grindr. I just had a torso shot posted. We talk, I tell him who I was, then a few days later he starts sexting me nude photos of himself. I am taken back and wonder to myself, you're in a relationship, you're flirting with me, telling me how we should get together, and this is weird. It was at that time I was thinking to myself this was not alright, and I didn't know this acquaintance well enough to know if he was joking around about getting together. He would ask me all the time what I like to do with a guy, what I would do with, and then told me to meet him after his beauty shop closed for fun. I wasn't going to risk anything and just sort of ignored this guy. I had a hard time determining whether he was flirting or was serious.

The Guy and I haven't really had to worry- I am not going to do anything to get in the way of his relationship, and we aren't really flirty toward each other. Just good friends.

Then there is Jack Off Buddy. We met on adam4adam for jack off basically. He is several years older than me, but we both have a good time. I was a little weird about meeting his boyfriend/really hanging out. I remember since we had only known each other and only hung out when we were jacking off together that meeting his boyfriend at his birthday was weird. Then he insisted his boyfriend and I go to Universal Studios. The only reason it seemed weird to me was it is a guy I've done something sexual with, and now he has a boyfriend, and to me it seemed like I wonder if his boyfriend knows, and so it was weird. I know from talking about random stuff with the 2 of them they are very much in love, not wanting to cheat. The 3 of us get along well. We were able to look past the sexual thing and it hasn't come up until now. I know that Jack Off Buddy is very voyeuristic and exhibitionistic, unlike his boyfriend. Anyways, Jack Off Buddy and I text occasionally back and forth. He'll send me a funny photo or something like a picture of a children's book and ask if I was the little boy in the picture since the kid kind of did look like me. Another time he saw a book with my last name in the title, was amused, and sent it to me asking if I was related. So basically we text random pics and stuff back to each other. Now I'm conflicted I guess because he knows another side of me that goes beyond the friendship level- I am sure I'm not the only gay guy to fool around with a gay friend- so this isn't unique to me. But what about when the texts become flirty? I am sure Jack Off Buddy won't cheat, but here's what happened:

Yesterday I got a text from him and he sent me a picture of his boyfriend being felt up by airport security. He told me that another man had his hands all over his guy in the caption. I texted back, "and you're alright with that?" He said yes, as long as he gets to watch and take photos. Then he said he has a voyeuristic/exhibitionistic side and asked if I did. I said I did. He asked what I've done that was either one of those, and I told him some things. Then we started talking about fantasies. He told me he wishes his boyfriend was more exhibitionistic or voyeuristic and had given him a hand job while driving. He told me how he used to jack off for truckers as he would drive. We got to talking about have you ever done anything at the gym? He told me about getting jacked off in front of a bunch of guys at the local Ballys Fitness years ago. He started sexting me photos of his dick. He told me he has always had a dressing room fantasy and how he would like to jack off in one. He told me I should take some photos of me in one and send pics of my dick in the mirror to him. He asked what other fantasies I had and I said outdoor scenes could be hot. He said we should go to the nature preserve near his house soon and jack off. I just left it at "that would be hot." I didn't really know what to say- was he playing around- was he serious- I think it was mostly playing- but I won't get involved in between him and his boyfriend.

Does anyone else have this where they have a friend they've done something sexual with, then they are involved, yet the flirtation with you continues?

Hanging out lately

It seems when I'm not at work or school I'm hanging out. I can't complain. I'm enjoying the getting out, meeting new people, and things like that.

- Went to dinner this past week with Eddy (not coworker Eddy), a friend of Jack off Buddy's boyfriend. We met at a birthday dinner for Jack off Buddy's boyfriend a few weeks back. He's a year or two older than me, and we went to the same college. It was cool hanging out, and I am sure we'll hang out again.
- Jack off Buddy, his boyfriend, possibly a few other guys, and myself are going to Disneyland tomorrow. Should be fun!
- I am going to a wine bar for dinner one night this week or next with another guy I met at that party named Keith. He's 38. We have both talk and agree just friends. We're mainly going because we have so many common friends- all gay guys- and we've recently met, but want to get to know each other better.
- I'm going to another party Teacher Friend is throwing on Friday night. So far Rick hasn't RSVP'd according to facebook.
- Hoping to hang out with Darla, Gonzo, The Guy, and more soon...

Road jack off

Jack Off Buddy messaged me about 12:50 today asking if I wanted to meet up with him to jack off with him on the road tomorrow. Apparently he gets a thrill from jacking off for truckers and people like that. He messaged me about 7a.m. last Saturday asking I would accompany him to jack off and jack each other. I ignored his message. He messaged me again today and told me to meet him at a certain location tomorrow where he'd drive and we'd do that... umm................... he has a boyfriend.............

Some excerpts from life recently

The surprise party I'm organizing with Linda for my mom is going well so far. Invitations out, cake ordered, restaurant booked, most can attend. I'm just hoping no one spills the beans. Good thing almost everyone is at my mom's old school.
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A new location of the gym I am a member at opened. The new gym is smaller, but so far I like it better. Of course right now all the equipment is new, the facility looks nice, and there aren't tons of people. The clientele doesn't seem to have the attitude the other gym does.
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My sister had been walking funny for the past 2 weeks. My mom asked her more than once what happened. She said nothing, and shrugged it off many times. Last Friday I got a call during lunch at work asking me if I could come pick up my sister from Kaiser. I asked what was going on. Turns out she had been walking across her campus at school, her foot hurt so badly, it gave out and she fainted. I am a sub- not a teacher- teachers can't just walk out of class. They have to work with the front office, try to get a sub, and it is often not an easy process. Since I have an in at the school I asked around and got a teacher to cover my class after lunch, but not my final class. I called my dad in the meantime, and since his last period was prep he was able to get out to pick her up. Sister was in the hospital for a few hours. She admitted that she had sprained her foot a few weeks ago and didn't want to go to the hospital. Can you say stupid?
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Linda is going to help me with all the documentation and papers I need to write up, case studies I need to explain and submit to the state as a part of my student teaching. While it is putting off getting it done for the time-being, which bothers me since I want to get it done and over with there is benefit. The benefit will be that she can help me understand developing a unit better and explain how she teaches writing, which I want to know more about.
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These commercials bug.

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Jack off buddy and I have become friends. He invited me to his birthday party a few weeks back. He had an XBOX 360 Halo tournament at his house with his best friend and boyfriend. Jack off buddy, his boyfriend, and myself all work at the same gym; we worked out together last Monday night. We all have Knotts, Disneyland, and Universal Studios passes- we plan to go to one of those soon.
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Queef is the new word the students at school are using. I heard it 4-5 times this past week, and each time have told the students I WILL NOT HEAR IT AGAIN. One kid managed to use it in a sentence today: "I fucking queefed my pants." He was sent out.

First person you fooled around with

I had a discussion with Jack Off Buddy's boyfriend the other day while at Universal Studios. He believes that for the majority of gay guys, the first guy they fooled around with turns out to be one of their best friends. He talked about Jack Off Buddy's experience, his own, had 3-4 other anecdotal stories, and asked me about my own experience. I explained the first guy I was ever with was making out, grinding, and he sucked me off in his dorm. I was nervous as could be. I think that was a turnoff to that guy, and I haven't had any contact since. The second guy I met however, The Guy, is one of my best friends. So maybe 1st or second person you've met?

So I have a question for all of you guys. You can answer with your blogger name, or anonymously...

Was the first guy you were with someone who ended up being one of your best friends?

I'm just curious...

Cuddled up jacking off

Jack off buddy texted me about 8p.m. last night. I wasn't doing anything and looking for any excuse to leave. I told him I would be on my way.

We met up at his place and he greeted me in just an open button down shirt. I go in and sit down on the couch and make myself comfortable. We sit and watch each other jack for about 10-15 minutes. Then he moves and he sits down on the floor where his face is at eye level with my penis. He watches me jack off, then he moves a chair over and sits facing me and he strokes both of our dicks. He switches positions yet again and we are seated next to each other on the couch. He puts his legs on me and I move closer to him. He uses his left hand to grab my dick as he is seated to my left. He starts stroking me and I knew he was close to cumming, so instead used it as an opportunity to play with his chest. I play with his hot, pointy nipples. Lots of moaning. After a few minutes I couldn't take it any longer as I was going to cum, so I grabbed his dick too, and we both shot simultaneously on our chests and my left arm. We sit, cuddled together, collapsed.

We went at it for nearly 90 minutes. I left about 9:30.

Great weekend

Friday:
Went to Universal Studios with Jack Off Buddy and his boyfriend. The 3 of us see each other 2-3 times a week usually at the gym as we all go to the same one, or whenever I'm over near JO Buddy's house. Universal was quite fun. JO Buddy determined we were a good match because of our personality types. JO Buddy is INTJ, his boyfriend is ENTP, and I'm ISTP. Being an INTJ was why JO Buddy needed a navigation system as opposed to his boyfriend and my directions; if only he'd listened to us as his navigation sent us in a circle more than once. JO Buddy had been to a training the day prior about the Briggs Personality Types and applying it and its characteristics to clients. There were 4-5 times where we joked that we were doing things a certain way during the day because we were INTJ or ISTP or INTJ. We also picked out the "j" kid sitting next to us who was definitely the judgemental type who knows it all and has to get his way. HAHAHA

We got to Universal and stopped at each one of those spots they take your photos because JO Buddy said it was only $9 for all of your photos to be emailed to you that they shot that day. We got about 6 pictures of us on various rides. The lines were super long due to the King Kong ride opening on Universal's backlot. Most lines were about an hour. We had a good time talking about our coming outs, activities we like to do in our free time, and things like that. JO Buddy's boyfriend had a really interesting story about his life and addiction. We listened to stories about drugs, sex, and stuff like that. Also got to check out Wisteria Lane- Desperate Housewives- I've been on the tour 4-5 times and everytime we just drive past Wisteria Lane, so I was excited to go down it.





For dinner we went to Samba, the Brazilian Barbecue restaurant. It was soooo good. We had about 7 different types of meat. We all had the same favorites- bacon covered chicken, the chicken, pacolli (spelling?), and beef ribs. The pork ribs, sausages, and tri-tip were alright. We had a $10 off coupon, which was cool. It was fun since it was sooo good and there were lots of jokes about meat going around. There's just so many different types. Thick meat. Round meat. You get the idea.

JO Buddy's boyfriend drove us home and it took 45 minutes to get from Universal on the 101 to the 10- maybe 10 miles? And this was at 11:00pm on a Friday night. I told him to take the 10 because of all the construction late at night where the 60E is shut down to 1 lane on Friday and Saturday nights. I was going to suggest the 134-210 to get home, but I wasn't driving, and so it didn't bother me too much. The extra time in the car just meant time for good conversations and singing to the Glee soundtrack. 2 really macho men and myself singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart." JO Buddy has a pretty dang good deep voice.



Saturday:

Got all of my bank cards and license in the mail. I'm back in business after having my wallet stolen. Yay for shiny new cards! They should spend better.

Went to dinner at Cheesecake Factory with Darla and several of our friends from our college. Gonzo was sick sadly, so I felt a little alone. No, actually it was cool. I had a fun time. Everyone has finally graduated. Most are going to a local med school to get their masters in public health since that's the "in" thing to do. I kind of like being the strange English guy in the bunch. Everyone else is science oriented.

My food was very disappointing. I've never been impressed with anything I've had at Cheesecake Factory with the exception of the cheesecake. I had the chicken dala, which basically a chicken pounded thin and with a batter on it to make it like chicken fried steak with no sauce. I used some of the ranch at the table to dip it in. I ate everything on my plate and was still hungry. The Cheesecake Factory has huge ungodly portions and I ate everything on the plate including the mashed potatoes and broccoli.

Darla didn't want dessert because it was too fattening. Her reasoning was her dinner was 1000 calories, the cheesecake was 1000, and she was planning on drinking 1000 calories, so she'd have to burn at least 1500 calories at the gym today, and that would take 2 hours. She does the fatburner on the treadmill. I told her the cardio is good and you do burn calories, but she keeps talking about getting toned, and I told her that is where weight training come in. She seemed convinced the treadmill was the all-encompasing-do-it-all workout machine. Too funny!


Sunday:

I went to a barbecue at The Guy's house. My parents and sister were in San Diego and a pipe under the sink cracked in the kitchen. I got under and conquered that. It took a lot of looking and then panicking, but went to Ace Hardware, and thanks to a friend from high school I fixed it myself and only took a couple trips. It left me short on time to The Guy's place. I only mention this because The Guy asked me if I was near Jeff's house because he needed a ride- I wasn't- I was willing to drive 10 minutes out of my way to pick him up, but he didn't pick up his phone.

The Guy asked me to bring alcoholic pear cider and ice. I picked up the pear cider yesterday because I happened to be near a liquor retailer that has everything- I'd never heard of that- it was ciderlike, but ok. That saved me time and I made it right to The Guy's at 3.

I get there, I shake Robert's hand- The Guy's new boyfriend, and put the cider in the fridge. We talk about random stuff- I ask what they've been up to, and they've been playing WOW. The Guy is sauteeing some mushrooms and running outside to grill the bell peppers. I get some time to talk to Robert. We talk about work, how we both deal with kids, and some of the areas he works in. We've probably crossed paths and never knew it- he looks so familiar, so I'm thinking we have. It was cool to talk to him, especially when The Guy tells me he is so shy. We chat about where we live, and I bring up the city I live in because I saw on his facebook he is from here. I find out he lives/lived in the poorer area of the city, but I tell him the high school I went to. He asked if I knew Tami, Reagan, and other random kids, and I knew all of them. The Guy was surprised, and I know Robert and i both got a kick out of it. I asked Robert if he was a soccer player since all of them played soccer, but I didn't realize that the people he mentioned always hung out, and that's how he was introduced to them. That was cool.

Louis showed up shortly after (a friend of The Guy's that I hadn't seen since 2008 and is living back at home in the area now). The 4 of us make more random conversation and joke about stuff. The Guy's brother and his girlfriend show up too, and we chat.

The Guy finishes up the chicken and we all make our chicken sandwiches with mushrooms, onions, munster cheese, and chicken. We also have some delicious bruschetta that The Guy made. We sit around and talk about random stuff, mainly bad wine I think if I recall right. After we eat The Guy's brother asks me how I've been, and I tell him great, just enjoying summer, and sad I go back to work in about 15 days. He asked if I was a teacher, and I told him sub. We talked about the subject matter i want to teach, then we talked about something related to that, and then talked about direct instruction and how it is being used for the wrong reasons. The Guy's brother is very conservative, from Orange County, and of course holds almost all conservative viewpoints on education, but we found ourselves agreeing on a lot of things. We discussed direct instruction (think recitations and very structured drilling lessons,) and how that sucks out the creativity, and that is a negative trend in education for English classes. We actually had a constructive conversation and I learned a few things from it- he is one of those really well versed people- just like The Guy. We talked about the Department of Education and why it was not necessary- I think The Guy and I were able to convince him that it was necessary because we need some sort of precedence to follow for standards to make sure that all students in all states are at least learning certain things. We all felt that education should be more localized, and as long as the standards are being met.

I also pointed out how in California to be eligible for the Race to the Top funds from the federal government we are being asked to basically dumb down our California state standards for all students because they don't fit in Obama's framework. Don't get me started on Obama's education ideas, but sticking to the topic, California has some of the highest standards for students in the nation. The states with the highest standards for students are California, Texas, and Indiana. Basically what it all boils down to is that California expects a lot out of our students, and by trying to compete for the Race to the Top funds, we would be dumbing down our standards, classrooms, and students, which is wrong.

I enjoyed talking with The Guy's brother because he was reasonable and receptive, which so many people, especially those not in education tend to be so rash when it comes to issues about education and teachers. He was very praising of teachers.

We chat about the importance of PE, and Louis wants to teach PE, so that was interesting to hear about his stories.

The Guy decides we should all head to the pool. I borrow a swimsuit from The Guy because he didn't tell me to bring one- it did cross my mind. I did blame him and showed him my text evidence. Everyone else had theirs. We go out in the jacuzzi in the 90 degree heat. It was not bad, but after a while got to be a bit much. We went back and forth between the pool and jacuzzi. We mainly sat around talking about swimming and coaching, as The Guy, his brother, his brother's girlfriend, and Louis all were into swimming and all have coached it. Robert and I didn't say too much. We were out there for probably an hour.

When we go back in we sit around and play with the dogs a few minutes, and then his brother and girlfriend take off. The Guy suggests we go get yogurt, so after some confusion we take my car and I drive to the yogurt place. I turn the car on and 100.3, The Sound, is playing Billy Joel's Piano Man. Robert and The Guy sing along. It was cute. I get some green tea and acai yogurt, and am happy. We had fun joking about random stuff like soda wine that was in the yogurt place. We talk about Louis hating living at home and his parents, and other stuff. I have it so easy. My parents just kind of understand I do my own thing and have my own life.



We go back and look at movie trailers for shows like "Red," and then The Guy shows us Robert's WOW character who is on level 70 or something. We hang around until The Guy and his boyfriend decide they want to play, we all hug and then take off.

I left about 8:30 and had a good drive home. I realized some of the reasons I'm not into Rick, and when I got home it was even more clear. He is one of those "drama" types. For some reasons email confirmations aren't being sent to my email via facebook, so I didn't know, but Rick posted on his facebook to the effect of someone he likes hasn't messaged him all day, and that person was me- it wasn't hard to tell. He texted me 3 or 4 times while I was at The Guy's, and it wasn't appropriate for me to text then. His brother sent me a message on facebook. Rick also sent me a message about how I'm so unavailable for him. Come on, fight your own battles, if you have a problem approach me. That's what I didn't like about him that I got that I wasn't able to pinpoint until tonight. He seems to have 4-5 really good friends who, while nice, seemed leery of me for whatever reason, and protective of him, and it seemed like they would take his side on anything regardless. Now I have nothing against that- it's great he has that support system, but when it comes to a personal matter between 2 people 3, 4, or 5 don't need to be involved.

I was thinking while driving home about what I look for in a guy, and I don't see a lot of it in Rick. I like a guy who is grounded- Rick isn't. I like a guy who is educated- Rick is. Physical attraction is important- there isn't a lot with Rick- he's a good looking guy, just not my type. I don't like the whole air your drama on facebook. I like guys who are mature about issues and can be open, and if I'm going to be blasted, even indirectly on things like facebook that's not cool.

Weekend of Introductions

After meeting my parents Thursday I figured why stop there?

FRIDAY AT 4:30pm
- Run to Mike's after going to district office to take care of benefits etc.
- He asks where I want to go and throw a few places out, as well as my school
- We head to my school for him to see my classroom. I give him a tour and we stop by the lesbian's room where her girlfriend is
- The 2 teachers I will work with both came in the room looking for me and gave me supplies
- A new 8th grade teacher had my class rosters that I had been unable to access and gave me them
- I leave Mike alone for a few minutes to put the new stuff in my room
- I introduced Mike to some people, but not everyone; he made fun of me for being bad at introductions. I didn't tell the lesbian, but told everyone else who he was. Oops.
- In car I put names to the faces for him further.
- Go to Staples since highlighters were free after rebate
- Go to Tokyo Wako for sushi and a glass of wine. Sushi was awful and glass of wine was not great.
- Stop at Office Depot for a few more upplies for my room
- Go to Sears Grand where we try on shirts. They had some slim fit ones that I ended up buying for $9- as if I had the money to spend. ALso looked at weedwackers
- Go to WalMart for a wall clock for my room
- Back at Mike's about 9:30
- Bed about 10

SATURDAY
- Slept until 8
- Shower
- He gets a haircut and I submit my rebate for highlighters
- Go to Panera for breakfast
- Off to LA for Travel Town Museum in Griffith Park
- Lots of fun facebook photos transpired
- Go to a Yucatan Mexican food place that was DELICIOUS... we loved the ceviche, ensalada de papa (potato salad), y los tacos de pork y fish.
- Drive back to our area for a movie, but the movie theater looked packed, so we decided on the drive in movie theater near my house
- Stopped at Albertsons for German chocolate and Snickers cupcakes that were so-so
- Saw The Smurfs
- Got out about 10:45
- Back to his place for bed, but we were both too busy feeling each other up and jacked each other off

SUNDAY
- Up at 7- and only because Mike screamed we were late as the original plan was 5:30
- We were off to meet Jack Off Buddy and his boyfriend- they both invited us to Knotts for the American Coaster Convention- those rollercoaster enthusiast people
- Get access to the best rides with no lines... I rode Supreme Scream, which I only do when forced, but it was cool
- Mike got along well with JO's boyfriend and JO's sister
- There was another couple along, one who recognized Mike, and it dawned on Mike hours later that it was a guy he really briefly dated's roommate, but the guy was of no interest to Mike, so we talked about that
- Ate breakfast in the chicken house
- Lots of fun, cool to hear about behind the scenes stuff at the park
- Left about 4:30
- Head to IKEA to make a return
- Head home about 7 to mucho drama... shoulda stayed at Mike's
- Off to my first day of school manana

Action packed weekend

Having a busy week/weekend as usual.

Thursday
School Thursday night. I also had a seminar that I had forgotten about and had to tell my teacher about. Oops. I had a blast at the seminar. It was as boring as all can be, but Beth kept Josh and I entertained.

Friday
Got a text while I was at work from my cousin telling me the entire family was going to Disneyland after school and wanted to know if I wanted to go. I didn't text back right away because I had a million things to do. I was leaving work early so I spent my lunch time eating and planning/writing out the Powerpoints for next week, as well as the lesson plans for the next 2 weeks. I had to go get fingerprinted to be eligible to sub when my master teacher is out. I later found out I had to get a drug test also, so I didn't know when I'd get there. I didn't have other plans, so once I was done at 3:30p.m. I hightailed it down to Disney.



I get to Disney at 3:30 just as my oldest cousin and 12 year old cousin, aunt, and cousin's wife were crossing over from California Adventure into Disneyland. We meet, hug, and then head in. We go to Pirates of the Caribbean, then Indiana Jones, Haunted Mansion, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, Snow White, Tea Cups, Matterhorn all in the course of about 2 1/2 hours. The longest line was about 25 minutes. That was so atypical of a Disney trip. After Matterhorn we do dinner at the Plaza Inn where my aunt bought for everyone, and I had a not so great prime rib slice. We head over to California Adventure for Tower of Terror. The line was soooooooooooooooo long for that- we waited 65 minutes, but passed our time talking about Miley Cyrus, The Pussycat Dolls, awards shows my cousin has done makeup for, she showed us the trailer for the new movie she did the makeup for, and talked Miley Cyrus' diva little sister. We also rocked out to 1-2-3 by Britney Spears, which my cousin played on her iPhone.

My cousins were able to snag tickets for the World of Color. All I can say is that we had awesome seats- in the blue section kind of in the back, but a direct middle view to the river where we could see the show. And it was waaaaaaaaaaaay better than Fantasmic anyday. Fantasmic is so 1990s. LOL. Seriously, the lights reflecting on and in the water, the cool water patterns, and the images projected on the water were much cooler than anything in Fantasmic. After this we head to the lockers and then shop in the World of Disney. We take off about 11:00pm and I get home about midnight.



Saturday
Ran around with my mom to the mall in our city and the next city over. I found a lot of cool shirts I wanted from Express. I also showed her some shirts on my iPhone from Buckle that I wanted. She said yes. We walked around and did some Christmas shopping. I came home and made a bought the shirts that I wanted. Yay for new clothes! Chatted with Ry on AIM while I was out. Something is still up with him.

I met Linda, her husband, and Mel for a hockey game tonight in a suite. Linda got the hookup from the casino. It was awesome. Lots of shrimp, pizza, pulled pork, chips, cookies, and brownies. I came hungry and left happy. The game was alright. The Ontario Reign would have done better had their goalie actually guarded the goal. He was in the middle of the court once, behind the goal another, and not even in the game another time. Ontario lost 2 to 5. The Alaska Aces won.

I noticed as we were leaving the game about 10:10p.m. I had such a headache. It was one of the pounding headaches that is in the back of my head that I've had soooooooo many times over the past year. This one came on as we walked outside of the arena. I popped 2 Tylenol in the car since I didn't have any headache medicine. I get about halfway home and the headache becomes almost unbearable. I think about calling The Guy and wonder if he would actually pick up. I think about calling Jack Off Buddy, and was almost sure he'd be willing to drive me home/to his house where I could crash and sleep off the headache. I think about calling Keith or Gonzo. My parents and sister were not home as they were at some function my sister had with school, otherwise I would have called them. I asked myself several times if I could make it home safely and not endanger myself or others. I thought I could so I continued driving. I knew it wouldn't have been too big of an issue to call someone, but I felt bad. I was miserable by the time I got home. My head was still pounding in back and on top. I was feeling hot and cold. I had to get out to get the gate and nearly fell over when I got out of the car. I get in the driveway finally and I close the gate as quick as I can. I make my way up to the lounger where I lay and get licked to death by the dogs. I come in after a few minutes and collapse on the couch. Woke up fine and slept my headache off. Yay!

Sunday
Today I'm doing some schoolwork, work for my classes tomorrow, and grocery shopping. Going to make pasta or something for lunch.

Disney with the boys

Jack Off Buddy, his boyfriend, and I hit Disneyland yesterday. It was a fun time.

JO's boyfriend ran the Disney Half Marathon the day prior, and was ready for another magical day at the Magic Kingdom. I heard all about the marathon and how he was not hitting his stride, but how awesome it was to run through Disneyland and all around Anaheim. I heard how crazy the traffic was. The car ride there was great. I heard about what I mentioned, plus I got to know the boyfriend better. He has such an awesome story. He was really addicted to many different substances- pot smoking, alcohol, and other hardcore stuff. I heard about his turnaround, how he was leading a triple life- his churchgoing married life, his work life, and his addiction side.

The day looked like it'd be wait, wait, wait, as it nearly took us 30 minutes to get parked in the Disney structure coming off of Ball Rd. The lines in the park weren't bad. We hit Space Mountain, Matterhorn, Tower of Terror, the Aladdin Show, It's Tough to Be a Bug, Soarin' Over California, the swings, and Astro Blasters. Pretty good- I've been at Disney where I've only gone on 3-4 rides a day.

We talked a lot about work- student teaching, Linda, JO's crazy job, and his boyfriend's job. Lots of good convos. We discussed Lewis and Clark, Manifest Destiny, psycho people, and we sang. I guess JO's boyfriend was reminded about the Lewis and Clark expedition walking near the train on Main Street and suddenly was trying to remember the name. JO suggested the teacher would know the answer. I always thought it was the "Lewis and Clark Expedition" with Sacagawea, etc. That lead us to Manifest Destiny. Very educational if you ask me. "Let's ask the teacher, he knows." I felt very scholarly as I was able to help settle disputes and inform. Hahaha.

While walking through California Adventure the 3 of us sang along to the oldies that they played throughout the park. Love the oldies. The boyfriend started singing "If You're Going to San Francisco," and I joined in. Somewhat unwillingly, JO joined in. It was fun.



We also enjoyed Jan and Dean's "Surf City." The boyfriend and I were bumping into each other, had some hand motions going, and our mouths moving.


Oh, and we saw the gay rave going on as we called it. Disco music, glow sticks, rainbow colors, guys and girls who were Disney castmembers dancing in flower pods. Obviously designed by a gay guy. A DJ also was there. Lots of people dancing. Very interesting.

We left about 9:30 as the fireworks sounded like they were going to bomb our car any moment. We talked about sexuality in Iran and a documentary JO saw about it. Lots of interesting stuff- boys in Iran tend to have their first sexual experience with a guy, and they meet the guys usually at weddings where the whole family is. It is a male dominant society, etc. etc. etc. I am waiting for him to get the name for me so I can watch it.

All schooldays should be like this

So glad to have the day off!

What did I do? I made the most out of it. Let's run down...

I had the best sausage and cheese biscuit for breakfast. My dad made those, and they pretty much rocked my world for the moment.

Did some tarea, that would be homework for you non-Spanish majors. I read the book. I shouldn't have read the book because I discovered class is for discussing the reading and I can always wing it. I am good at that.

I met my partner, Josh, for dinner. I gave him all of my textbooks for the class he is taking now, and for the past quarter. I told him I wouldn't charge him for the books, though he was insistent to pay me. I said let's just hang out and do dinner or something, and I'm cool, so he fed me. We went to Chevys Mexican. I had the flautas and enchilada platter. I was underwhelmed. The food was pretty good- it has improved- but it wasn't filling. Don't get me wrong- it was really tasty- just not filling. We talk about school, work, and family. I enjoyed it.

Went to school and behaved for a change. I have a professor whom you don't want to cross. I just found out I have her for the next 2 quarters for various classes so I need to behave. I am doing everything to the best of my abilities and actually trying.

Afterwards I got a text from Keith who was a little slow in responding to texting. He had been asking me for the longest time if I went to Palm Springs Pride. I didn't. I make some flirtatious comments unintentionally. I realize it is only 8:15 on a Thursday night and though I really don't want to go out, I don't have school in the morning, so I might as well take advantage of the situation. I text him and ask if he wants to meet for drinks after his bowling league. He does. We go to Yardhouse. I have 2 beers that weren't all that great. I was trying beers I never had before. I tried the Alaskan Ranger and the New Ranger IPB. I should have stuck with the Fat Tire. It is good, but I always drink it, so I was trying different ones. The Ranger was fruity. No bueno. We chat about lots. We chat about Jack Off Buddy's Boyfriend, school, the gay community, guys in the community, Palm Springs Pride, how I need to go out to Palm Springs more, how Palm Springs resorts are so nice, politics in the city, I bring up the topic of Carl since psychos came out- I still didn't feel comfortable bringing up restraining order psycho Mike, and work. Keith amused me. He tries too hard at times to joke and flirt with the waitresses. It was amusing. Afterwards we stand outside talking and it seemed like every guy was looking at us as we're 2 guys just standing close together talking with each other.

And now I'm home with 2 beers in me and feeling loud and on my way to being tipsy. I was putting the sheets I washed on the bed singing Me and Bobby McGee as well as Sorry by Buckcherry (an awesomely bad song) and talked to my parents about how my dad should join me in my masters classes and complete his masters as well. Great day overall. Woo!

Birthday Ideas

My birthday is coming up next month and I'm thinking about how I want to celebrate. It is nice that it is on a Saturday and I have the day off. Here's some ideas that appeal to me...

Gonzo, myself, and maybe another friend spend the afternoon/evening getting lost in LA/West Hollywood. This would mean we do some shopping or sight seeing, then grab some dinner either from a gourmet food truck (if it were just Gonzo and I), a small Mexican eatery like Al and Bea's, or a nice restaurant for under $15 a person. A novelty restaurant would be fun like The Original Pantry, Swingers Diner, or Roscoes House of Chicken and Waffles. Then we would go to a club or bar like The Abbey. I have to tell Gonzo this one now if I want it to happen. I do.

A birthday dinner with former coworkers- Gonzo, Viv, Marci, Darla, Eddy, and a few others.

Birthday dinner with a group of friends- Gonzo, Darla, Dennis, The Guy, Robert (The Guy's boyfriend), the guy I am seeing, Jack Off Buddy, his boyfriend, and probably Keith- small, yet intimate.

Since my birthday is on a weekend I plan to milk it for what it is worth. I am thinking maybe a trip with the family and trying something new like the Metro food tour. I just checked the Metrolink schedule to Los Angeles and they no longer travel to my city with the exception of an early and late train each weekend. 6a.m. is so not happening. Boo... hmmm.... I really want to try this, and to not have to deal with parking or any of those other issues would make this worth it. Sightseeing and seeing the city on foot is also appealing. Anyone have any must see places in LA that they love to go to that I need to know about?

As far as restaurants are concerned I know my family wants to take me out and my thoughts are Morton's lunch, my favorite Spanish restaurant, or even a hibachi grill like Benihana, although not Benihana, something local. This would happen if the LA plan is nixed.

All of my ideas seem to revolve around food... lol... well, it is what seems to bring myself and all of my friends together.

Accomplished Spring Break so far...

Having a great Spring Break so far...

You already know about the weekend...

Monday
- Olive Garden with my mom
- Shopped... went to the boring stores like Burlington Coat Factory, but we also went to Costco and that was a-ok
- School later in the evening

Tuesday
- Tracked down my passport and found out I needed a new passport photo
- Took my dad's old laptop to be wiped so my mom could have it for her use
- Lunch with my mom at Red Lobster
- Sprayed lots of weed killer in the yard
- Allergy shots
- Got new passport photo at Costco

Wednesday
- Tracked down my birth certificate at home
- Lunch with my mom at the hamburger place Gonzo and I really like
- Weeded the hill outside our house
- Cleaned out the garage and a car can now park in there... and for now it is mine until we do some more rearrangement so my mom can take it over
- Dinner with Jack Off Buddy, which was nice... fun to catch up with him

Thursday
- Lunch is planned with my cousin
- MUST APPLY FOR PASSPORT and crossing fingers that the post office phone message was accurate that passports are processed on a walk in basis... otherwise my trip may be a no go and I'll have some pretty pissed off people... it would have been easier had I followed through with the passport last summer
- Subbing at the middle school I went to for a short half day assignment (fun money!) Everytime I sub in this district the money I make from it is called my fun money, which I spend on me. It may be a pair of shoes or clothes, but it is fun money... extra money I wasn't planning.

Friday and beyond
- Not sure

I did not give in

Jack Off Buddy is interesting. Tonight I get a photo he took on the outside of Target and sign of the fitting room. I think to myself I'm going to be getting sexts any moment. Here's what I got and here's what I said... it felt awkward to even say what I did. It's not to say I wasn't horny and was maybe actually jacking off, and very tempted to take him up on his offer when he started texting me.

Alternate Plans

You really don't expect me to sit at home alone all day during Thanksgiving Break, do you?

Nah, I didn't think so, so here's what I've been up to.

Was supposed to go to Oklahoma, but that didn't happen due to the cost of flights, then the wedding didn't happen, and well, that's about all I know. OKC is definitely in my winter break travel plans.

Monday -
After I said goodbye to my BF who was off to NY for the holidays I headed out to grab lunch and do a little shopping. I was in a funk. I was ok after a while. I went to physical therapy. Went to the gym in the evening.

Tuesday -
Went to my parent's where I did some stuff around the house, washed my car and waxed it. Decided I NEEDED to go somewhere. Got in the car and just drove. Was going to head to San Diego, but decided it was a bit far. Was thinking of WEHO, but wasn't feeling that, so I headed to Oil Can Harry's for gay country dancing. OMG. SUCH FUN. The atmosphere there was warm and friendly. I have to admit the dances they did I had never seen. Lots of couple dances. MUST GO AGAIN.



Wednesday -
Washed and waxed my mom's car. Went to lunch with Jack Off Buddy at a Mexican place. Visited the doc for new anxiety meds. I'm on Zoloft now. Feeling tired this evening and was thinking of heading out, but didn't. Celebrated our family Thanksgiving and listened to my sister's stupidity. Decided instead to watch "Prayers for Bobby."

Thursday-
Will be out tomorrow night after turkey day.

Friday-
Going hiking with a former teacher in the morning, then shopping, and then picking up my BF.

Everyone else is doing it

So why not me?

1. Your ex's car is on the side of the road, on fire. What do you do?

Try to put it out? That's not something I wish on many people.

2. Would you go out to eat with Charlie Sheen?

No- I don't find him funny in the least. Well, is he paying?

3. Who was the last person to comment on your Facebook status?


Jack Off Buddy about my potential eating disorders.

4. What is the last thing you spent money on?



A wedding gift for Gonzo

5. Do you think you gained or lost weight this past month?

Staying pretty constant... thankfully!

6. What's the best film you saw in the last month?

Friday night - Mike and I saw "Super 8"

7. What did you wear today?

Yellow tee that said "what goes up must come down," and beige shorts... yes, I said shorts.

8. Congratulations! You just had a son. What’s his name?


Micah

9. What was the last CD you bought?

Lady Gaga's new one

10. What are you craving right now?



Butterscotch rice krispy treats or some delicious, chewy chocolate chip cookies

11. When you buy something and your change is 2 pence, do you keep it or tell the cashier to keep it?



Tip jar

12. What was the last voicemail you received about?

Keith talking about how he hadn't called me recently

13. Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook?


Nope... why should I? I figure I know everyone on there and don't really feel spited to.

14. Scariest thing you’ve experienced in the last year?


There's been a couple... hmmmmm.... drawing blanks...

15. What kind of car do you want?


Do I get more than 1 choice?
Lexus RX, Volvo S40, Volvo C-30, Acura TSX

16. What do you order when you go to Burger King?



The chicken tenders were disappointing the last time and really starchy/floury. The ranch sauce was watery and the flavor was not great. I opted for a burger the last time I was there, and charbroiled whatever didn't score much cred in my book. Oh, I like their Hershey Sundae Pie. If I do fast food it is Jack in the Box, In-N-Out, Chick-Fil-A, or McDonalds.

Meme

Stolen from Ian and Joey because that's how I roll...

1. Are you happier now than you were five months ago?

5 months ago was March. It was spring break. It was about the time I came up to my mom, and had been dealing with the acquaintance who outed me. I think I am happier today- at least my mom knows, and I have a great support system who has helped me deal. I have had some cool friendships develop with Jack Off Buddy and his boyfriend, and several other friends.

I am closer to finishing my credential. I feel more stability with the acquaintance gone. I have had some awesome opportunities to interview.

2. Have you ever slept in the same bed with anyone that you shouldn't have?

Um... I have really only slept and spent the night at one person's house, and that would be The Guy. I have no regrets there. That's how I choose to answer the question- maybe a little naive.

3. Can you sleep in total darkness?

I need total darkness and quiet/white noise. I can't sleep with light. My bedroom faces the east. I have blackout curtains to cut down on the light so I can sleep past 6 or 7 when the sun comes up.

4. Your phone is ringing. It’s the person you fell hardest for, the one who got away, what do you say?

"Hello"

5. What do you think about the weather this summer?

If you asked me last week I'd have said it is perfect- not too hot and not too cold. 111 today and 113 or so tomorrow. I think we need another summer storm. It was sunny all day looking out my classroom window.

6. How many people do you trust with everything?

2- Gonzo and The Guy. I can trust Gonzo to give me the female perspective/listen, and we both support each other in similar ways. We share family stories, and we go way back. The Guy is someone I can tell everything to- he's very opinionated, yet also a great listener. He provides brotherly advice/listens/helps in any way he can when it comes to questions I have, guys, or just life in general.

7. What was the last thing you drank?

Crystal Light Lemon Iced Tea

8. Is there anyone you want to come see you?

There are several people I would love to come see me:

- My grandma and grandpa if it were possible

- My best friend in Mississippi

- Some of my blogger friends like B, Joey, Paint the Blog Orange, Dan (again), Aek, Ian, Phunk Factor, and Cash seems like a cool guy

9. Name one thing you love about winter?

Clothing and rain

10. Have you ever dated a Goth?

Nope. Long black hair does nothing for me. Short emo boys are a different story. Even preppy boys... yum!

11. What are you looking forward to tomorrow?

Another battle with the lady who places student teachers? Not...

12. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having?

Everything. Found out for sure about my student teaching placement. Arguing over that. Spent every moment I wasn't in class dealing with that. How was your day? Enough of my whining...

13. What's the longest that you have committed to one person and one person only?

1 1/2 years

14. What’s the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today?

Asked myself what GoCountry 105 was playing. It sounded like a mess at 6:06 when my alarm goes off. It turns out is was new Blaine Larsen, and it was called "Chillin." It's ok I guess... not my favorite Larsen song...



15. Has anyone ever told you they never want to ever lose you?

Yes, and in most cases we've lost each other. An exception would be my best friend in MS.

16. Is there anybody that you wish you could fix your relationship with?

Yes.

17. Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?

Yes, I am in black basketball shorts and a gray tee that I wore to the gym. It is 10:00p.m, and so the chances of me going out tonight are nil.

18. Do you think things will change in the next 3 months? How?

Yes. Hopefully I'll have a long term sub position, hopefully not have to do my entire student teaching, maybe get hired in the middle of the year to teach, maybe be in a relationship, who knows...

19. Do you believe that you never know what you got until you lose it?

I try to remind myself how lucky I am with what I have, but until something/someone is gone it never really sets in.

20. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

Yes, Gonzo and Darla are at the top of the list.

Here kitty, kitty

MONDAY
- 3:30pm I arrive at Mike's after helping mi madre at school and picking up my sister's car
- We get in the car almost immediately to go to Fresh & Easy
- In parking lot we circle a few times to find a spot- there were plenty open... lol
- Get lots of veggies and random pastas... he kept telling me to "get stuff" and I argued I needed inspiration if I were to make something
- I enjoy a 56g of sugar strawberry lemonade from a bottle as we leave... sugar high!
- In the car we break open the baked salted chips since I was starved
- We eat stuffed mushrooms we bought from the clearance and a $1.64 margharita pizza, which was quite good
- Watch "The Glee Project" since it recorded where we thought Rocco's Dinner Party was... he started to Tivo it... grrr
- Watch a few more Tivo items
- Mike makes a salad with asparagus, lettuce, and fake chicken for our meatless Monday... it didn't exactly taste like chicken
- Talk about his need for a kitty
- Lots of tickling and cuddling
- Watch Gordon Ramsey's Masterchef, Two and a Half Men, and How I Met Your Mother
- Bed about 10

TUESDAY
- Up at 7:30
- Shower
- He works on his expense reports
- I make each a slice of toast
- Watch TV and play around on iPad
- Crunch on a few baked cheese puffs
- He teases the cats about needing another cat, a brother, a sister, or even a dog
- He asked if my sister called to say she missed me or anything like that and I said no, she's not that nice. He laughed. He asked if she was upset I had her car and I said daddy was more than willing to let her use his, so on the whole, no. He didn't look at the damage that was mostly able to be buffed out from my sister's supposed spin out because it didn't look bad from afar. I told him you have to get up close and if you were to open the doors on the car on the right side they now make a bad sound as you open them. He said I'm just to hard on her. Her car needed shocks in the front I mentioned and how she didn't know, he said I'm just being hard on her because she's a girl. LOL. He thinks I'm abusive toward her... lol... he said it playfully.
- We go to lunch at Subway
- The workers are making several 3 foot long party subs and it takes forever... we got there in time, though, as the people were still trying to get their food that came in after us as we were leaving
- Go to Petsmart and look at the little kittens... no cat carrier in the convertible... he did have the cat carrier out this weekend when he texted me on Sunday about being at Petsmart
- We leave Petsmart after he admires, oohs, and aaahs at the cats
- He tells me how he needs a chihuahua to take with us... it could travel with him... it could sit in the center console as we drive in the convertible. I told him it was a dumb chihuahua who would bark at everything as we go by. He said he would get a muzzle. I questioned if he, the animal rights activist would really do that. I said it would probably try to jump from the car and break its leg. He talked about how it wouldn't jump up high to eat the cat's food, it would play with the cats, its so much smaller than the cats. I said his antisocial cat wouldn't like it. I said the antisocial cat didn't need a friend. He said he thinks a little kitten would bring out the motherly instincts in it. I pretty much vetoed, but told him how cute he was when he talked about how he wanted one. Back at his place he tries to show me the chihuahua online, but couldn't find it.
- So to get or not to get a kitty... or a chihuahua... hmmmmmmmmmmm... we shall see... he has 2 cats already... he likes them since they take care of themselves... should I give in? I just don't want to be with the crazy cat guy... lol... and it could well become that... hahaha... he's cute
- Take off at 3:30
- Meet family at 4 for allergy shots
- Dad makes steak at home... yummmm
- Hit the gym tonight and run into Jack Off Buddy's boyfriend, the counselor from school where I did my student teaching and get to talk to both, which was nice.
- Relaxing at home getting recipe inspiration

Outings and dates

Been a busy week- some of this I've already blogged about. I've been every night this week. I'm trying to keep track of it all, so here it goes:

Sunday, 9/10
Dinner with Keith at the wine bar near my house.

Monday, 9/11
Dinner with Dehumanizing the Boy at PF Changs.

Tuesday, 9/12
Lunch and dinner with The Guy- sushi and his pasta creation.

Wednesday, 9/13
Date #1 with Ry. I met Ry on Grindr back on Labor Day when I went to Disneyland with Jack Off Buddy and his boyfriend. I logged on, he shot me a message, and I responded the next day when I was on my way to work. Lots of conversation back and forth on there, then we moved over to chatting on AIM, and then skype later that night. We talked on the phone for about 45 minutes as I drove home from The Guy's Tuesday night.

Ry is 25, 6', 170lbs or so, sort of emo looking, medium brown hair, wears his hair in a fauxhawk. He lives literally in back of Disneyland. He is a grad student at a college in Anaheim. His major was geography, and undergrad was done in history. He wants to go into teaching and is doing Teach for America. He has messaged me pretty much everyday, and I've done the same to him. It's always basic texts like how are you, etc.? He likes someone who has a wide knowledge about a variety of topics, can carry on random conversations to no end, someone trustworthy and patient.

We met at TGI Fridays in Brea at the Brea Mall where we talked about lots of random stuff- his day, his car accident, his friends, his job, and teaching. I told him basics about me- teaching, school, and what I like to do for fun. We met about 7 and chatted until about 9. On the way home he was texting me about drama (because an ambulance had passed,) and suddenly I was letting out my inner Shaquana (inner black woman).

Thursday 9/14
Dinner with my mom, Linda, and Mel before I headed to escuela. Because 7.5 hours with Linda at school already was not enough.

Friday, 9/15
Dinner with my mom, Linda, and their student whose mom died. I wasn't going to go, but Linda insisted. Good shrimp enchiladas, arroz, y frijoles. My mom's student is doing much better. His older sister is a teacher about 40 miles away, and is chipping in to make sure his brothers and sisters can survive. His sister is insistent that my mom's former student will not work while in high school. They talked a lot about his aspirations to be a science teacher, and students that were in my mom and Linda's class seeing how everyone was.

Saturday, 9/16
Date #2 with Ry. We agreed earlier in the week to hang out tonight. He has a love of food like I do. I said we should go to the Santa Ana Arts Festival because there were a couple food trucks. He didn't have anything planned, but he had never done a food truck, but wanted, so that was in order. I drove down to his place in Anaheim, and he drove us down to Santa Ana. We found the trucks without any problem. He went around taking pics as we walked of the architecture and food trucks. I did too. We took pictures of each other eating the food. So what did we try?

We ate:
- Comodo tacos- the Indonesian Beef and Komodo steak tacos
- Parmesan and garlic cheese fries from (from the Comodo Taco Truck)
- Dirty dog (hot dog from street vendor) with shredded cheese, bacon wrapped hot dog, onions and peppers, mayo on top
- Barbecue pork and beef sliders from Uncle Lau's barbecue.
- We didn't get to try the Tropical Ice because it was 70 degrees, and too cold.





He really enjoyed it. We took turns paying. He paid for the hot dogs, I paid for the sliders and waters, he got the tacos and fries. We go back to his place and he tells me about his wild days from 15-19, his clubbing days, etc. He tells me now he's focused on work and school. He told me about his thesis, his cat, decorating, and stuff like that. I tell him random stories about teaching and my "wild" days. His apartment looked pretty awesome. We laid on the couch in opposite directions. His feet up over my head and my feet going down along the couch. We talked about his psycho cat. I took off about 10:30 as he was falling asleep. We hugged, something we didn't do the first date, and agreed we need to hang out again.

The Ring

Here it is. I tried posting it last time and guess it didn't work out. And we have matching ones.

In other news, hung out with The Guy and his partner the other day. He talked about how we need to at least have something to commemorate our domestic partnership as it is a way to affirm it in front of friends. I'm going to bring it up to my guy as I think it would be fun, but he's very low key. Maybe a neutral point? We were trying to think of our friends...

The Guy and Rob
Jack Off Buddy and his guy
J & B
Mike's coworker
Gonzo
Darla
Mike's cousin and aunt?
My cousin(s)/aunt/uncle - 1 to 6 of them
Parents?
My sissy from work

We had a nice dinner The Guy and I ran to Trader Joes to make. Chatted about everything and anything with him and his man.

Also hung out with my cousin that I'm closest with and another more distant cousin, Marquel, whom I've never mentioned before. He's like 3 years younger and we never really chatted until the past couple of years. He was so interesting. He said he knew I was gay all along, we chatted about that, he asked what it was like, what it was like not being attracted to girls, whether I found girls hot at all, and he's just one of those really interested people who tries to hear everyone's opinions and thoughts. Sex came up. He recently had his first time with his girlfriend. He thinks I'm one of those been there, done that types. Talked about family, friends, and school. Lots more too.